I am a 52 year old married female. Together for a total 7 years married for two. I love my husband but unfortunately due to hormonal issues what started out as an active sex life has disintegrated to me having no desire for sex. Like a dumbass I figured my husband jerked his dick watched some porn etc to handle his urges. Well recently I realized that his email is 100% accessible from my laptop. Needless to say he hes been trolling webpages looking for someone to suck his cock and also someone to top. According to him at some point in time one of his bi friends turned him out he would fuck his buddy and then they would suck each other off. He is telling these random guys online that he wants a bj & minimal ass play. Even though I was pretty devastated I gotta say it made my pussy a little wet. I am still in love with him and want to be with him. I had some brief girl/girl action back in the day and masturbating in the porno movie house in public. So I get it. ANd no I never told him of those experiences. I am praying when I approach him he doesn't divorce me. I know he will try to lie out of it .. Should I say something or just stay quiet & read all the sexy emails?
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It... bugs me not knowing what he’s thinking about although I’ve done this enough that I can often see what he’s thinking. Ha... sometimes I catch them sneaking a peek at my crotch and if I’m hard already, yep - that’s giving him something else to think about: Is he gonna have to suck my dick? So I’ll sometimes add that they don’t have to return the favor... unless they want to... then it’s back to sitting and waiting and asking myself, “What’s taking him so long? This ain’t rocket science - it’s a blow job!” Were I to attempt to put numbers to this, 7 out of 10 times, the guy says yes; of the remaining 3, one guy will say no, but thanks for offering and the other two are undecided; they haven’t said no but haven’t said yes - it’s more like, “Let me get back to you...” or “Can I have some more time to think about it?” Sure... but this might be a one-time offer and coming back a day later means the offer is no longer on the table... or it might be - even I don’t know most of the time and I have been known to change my mind. But what matters the most is when I say these words, are you gonna let me suck your cock? If I asked you, would you say yes... and even if you don’t like having your dick sucked?[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]So I can do what I’ve done so many times before and so many times that I can’t really tell you how many times I’ve sucked a dick. I was just never all that good about waiting for an answer. Sometimes I will break the silence that has descended by saying that if you say yes, you’re not going to regret it - well, maybe you will after it’s all said and done but not while I’m doing it. And if he finally says something and it’s to ask me why? I have a lot of answers for that: Because I can and I want to; the moment calls for it and, yeah - there’s nothing better to do so why not blow you? You just gotta let me do it.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I’ve done it so many times, sometimes with good reason and sometimes for no other reason than I love doing it. I love the taste, the feel, even that musky scent delights my senses and if he’s being... vocal, well, that works, too. The only sense I have that’s not often not in play is sight; if my eyes aren’t closed, I’m actually watching his dick and, yeah, to see how much of it I can make disappear so that all I can really see is whatever pubic hair he might have. That whole staring at him as I blow him doesn’t work for me although I will admit that sometimes, I will look at him, you know, to confirm that he’s watching what I’m doing or if, he, too, has his eyes closed. I’ve never been a patient person. I’ve let those words escape my lips and even though I know it’s going to take some time before he answers - one way or the other - shit, dude - it shouldn’t take you that long to decide if you want your dick sucked and to let your cum blast into my mouth. I’ve had to learn to be patient and to keep my impatience from showing on my face and even to give the impression that if he says no, it’s not that big of a deal - but to not look indifferent so much. To look at me, he can’t even tell that I’ve already seen how this is going to end should he say yes - now I’m jist waitng for him to say the word.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Do you know what this is like? I do. It’s a situation that I’ve put myself into more times than I care to admit and for quite a few reasons. Sometimes it’s that “deadly” combination of being bored and horny; sometimes, it’s that sense that not only do you “know” that he might not object but it also makes sense to tell him - but not really ask him - to let me do something to him that, shit, he really might not be interested in. Sometimes, my own compassion gets the best of me to, say, see a friend or, really, any guy I might be with struggling with stress or being overwhelmed with emotion for some reason and there’s not much you can do... and saying, “I’m sorry to hear that...” isn’t going to help matters... but sucking his dick will not only entice him to cum, it will most definitely, if not temporarily, take his mind off of whatever’s fucking with him. And, really, I do so very much love sucking dick.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It’s so very different - asking instead of being asked. Being asked is so much easier and if you love to suck cock, it’s even easier because there are only - and really - only two things to think about: Yes... or no? There’s really a lot more going on when you’ve been asked; what are the risks? The consequences? Is this a one-time thing or will it become more involved... and do you even want to be “bothered” with a more protracted and ongoing situation? Maybe in that short period of time you’re thinking about the last time a guy asked you to blow him... and that time when it all went south? It becomes so... chaotic that the only real consideration returns to those two things: Saying yes... or saying no. Easy... and easier than sitting and waiting for the guy you just propositioned to say something. Anything. The seconds turn into a minute - what is he thinking? Is he gonna ask why you want to suck him dick and other than the obvious? What do you say about that? is it possible that you just guessed wrongly? Maybe saw or sensed something that, perhaps, you just imagined? You get irritated - what’s taking him so long? Either you’re gonna let me do it or you aren’t! But you also remain hopeful because you know and understand that any answer doesn’t always come quickly. Remember that time when a guy you thought you knew well asked if he could suck your dick? Do you remember the shock you felt and maybe a bit of a thrill at getting a forbidden blow job? In that instant trying to imagine what your cock will look like in his mouth, what it feels like to have another guy sucking you... and if you cum, will he swallow it? Yes... you know it’s a hard question to answer and just as hard as the one you asked him, what, just over a minute ago? Maybe even not really that long ago? And why isn’t he saying anything? Has he decided to let you suck him off... and now he’s just fucking with you and making you sweat and squirm? Or is the worst about to happen, that he’s not going to allow and now he’s so offended by your offer that he might be contemplating and act of violence? What is taking him so long?[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It can be a hard thing to say to a guy, that precarious moment when once the words are out of your mouth, it’s an agonizing wait to see if you guessed wrongly about whatever possessed and prompted you to say this. While you’re waiting for him to answer one way or the other, your mind is whirling madly, thinking about damage control while also thinking about his cock and how you’re going to suck it if he says yes. What will he taste like? How will he feel in your mouth? Will he just “be there” and unmoving? Will he watch? Moan? When will that automatic fucking motion kick in? If he cums, how long will it take before he gives up his seed? And will all of this become moot if he says no? As you continue to wait - and it feels like hours are passing instead of a few scant seconds - what is he thinking about as he’s processing things? If he’s looking at you, do you look like you’re desperate? Worried? Even impatient? Or is he looking at you and as if he never really saw you before and not with just his eyes?[/SIZE][/FONT]
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