Anal sex and place in the relationship

[silentboxer]

Do you feel that male's who bottom and get that anal please are weaker males and if not why do you think society feels that way?

[littlerayofsunshine]

Do you feel that male's who bottom and get that anal please are weaker males and if not why do you think society feels that way?

Um... Your title doesn't quite fit your post.

but.. To answer the post. No i don't think that they are weaker.

No i don't think society views it that way either. Its in the nature of the bottom if he portrays being a submissive or not. But the submissive always retains their power. Anal sex is just sex, there can be oral sex and submissiveness involved.

In hetero sex, vaginal penetration can have both involved. Submissiveness is a personality trait and desire. And the strongest of men or women, can be completely submissive if the want.

If someone views them as weaker, its probably because that person has a dominate personality and its all individual to each and every person. Some even are switches. *Grins* Switches are hot.

[cornholejoe]

anal and oral are both great to me

[fredtyg]

Yeah, I think it's just that a lot of guys who have gone far enough to engage in anal sex with other guys enjoy being penetrated. Heck, there are a lot of straight guys that like things up their ass.

I've mentioned before here that our local Craigslist ads show the vast majority of guys looking for sex with other guys seem to prefer bottoming. I can't imagine that means so many guys are "weak".

Some, like me, also enjoy the more submissive, effeminate roll of being the bottom- knowing we're pleasing "our man". Not sure that makes us "weaker", but if that's what someone wants to call it, what the heck.

[tristancir]

In Roman times, homosexuality was not viewed all that much different to heterosexuality. What mattered to them was who penetrated and who got penetrated. The penetrator was considered the person of power over the other. Being penetrated made one be viewed weaker.

That was the romans. So it might symbolize a version of submission of sorts. I'm not aware that penetrated are viewed as weaker today. In the mainstream, no one wants to know that much details about how gays engage in sex. I'm not aware of the bottom being viewed as weaker.

[BiBedBud]

Never forget: It takes a real man to take it like a man!

[Long Duck Dong]

its cos the missionary position was often seen as a form of submission to the husband in marriage

variations of sex are still seen in terms of dominate and submit.. broad minded people will see it in different terms.....

[void()]

A bit of discussion with a clinical psychologist revealed a lot. The point of submission, they said was the strength of being able to give up control. In effect the submissive managed to still be in control by giving it up.

I like to 'float' between submission and dominance. It all depends on the lover & mood. Sometimes I want to dominate, others to be dominated. But from what I understand of things, experts tend to call my type natural switches.

Really don't see any correlation to weaker.

[raja_rhys]

Do you feel that male's who bottom and get that anal please are weaker males and if not why do you think society feels that way?

yes i think.... my boyfriend left me because i don't want him to fuck my virgin ass....

[Hephaestion]

A bit of discussion with a clinical psychologist revealed a lot. The point of submission, they said was the strength of being able to give up control. In effect the submissive managed to still be in control by giving it up.

I like to 'float' between submission and dominance. It all depends on the lover & mood. Sometimes I want to dominate, others to be dominated. But from what I understand of things, experts tend to call my type natural switches.

Really don't see any correlation to weaker.

I like your interpretations and empathise greatly in what you describe of willing relationships. There is appreciaiton of each other.

However there is an act called rape which is intended to weaken, subdue and humiliate. Maybe this colours things for some.

[tenni]

I've thought about whether you selected the correct word. "Weaker" is probably how it is seen by mainstream and in particular mainstream men. I guess in some respects that would mean hetero men but I think that it does culturally mean that the bottom is a weaker person. Only the weaker would "give in" to permit such a type of thing philosophy. I have no interest in being a bottom and not really any interest in being dominated. I do not have void's attitude about it. I do not look at any guy who does want that as "weaker" though as I look at it as making love rather than a competition.

[Meetyou123]

I have thought about this one for a while. Now some may view that bottom as the submissive or weaker person but I am not sure that is really the case. I think in every relationship there is a more dominate person and a more submissive person but sex really has nothing to do with it.

[slipnslide]

If you're getting fucked in the ass you probably lost the argument. :tongue:

[Hubguy51]

I consider anal sex as the completeness to my sexuality. I enjoy anal sex with another male and I never see it as being submissive. I see it as enjoying sex with my partner. I love both sucking and anal, and we alternate as our needs and desires change. I love receiving anal and would bottom everytime if necessary. I so enjoy being a gay male!!

[DuckiesDarling]

If you're getting fucked in the ass you probably lost the argument. :tongue:

Nah, if I'm being taken anally it's because my man knows I like it. Same when I take him, it's for our pleasure and just another part of making love.

[ninetythree]

Do you feel that male's who bottom and get that anal please are weaker males and if not why do you think society feels that way?

I think that men who would deny themselves the pleasure of bottoming, because they are afraid of what others might think, are weaker. Doing what you like is a sign of strength.

[rochester69ny]

I've never bottomed myself, but I don't necessarily believe that the person who does bottom is necessarily any weaker in the overall relationship. Perhaps they may tend to be the more submissive person in the bedroom but they may be more dominant in other aspects.

[Realist]

Being on the receiving end of anal sex has never been something I craved, but I have been with a few people of both genders who enjoyed it. I certainly didn't think they were less strong because of it. I would never initiate anal sex, but if a lover had that desire I'd cheerfully participate..............if a few prerequisites were in place..

[abstruse_ric]

http://www.heroichomosex.org/alliancenew.html makes a number of interesting points that can advance this discussion.

[slipnslide]

http://www.heroichomosex.org/alliancenew.html makes a number of interesting points that can advance this discussion.

It's difficult to argue against: "Yet the erotic pleasure in anal penetration is so minimal, and, when joined with promiscuity, the dangers anal presents to its practitioners and the community so great, that it's difficult to conceive of a practice more ruinous or less enjoyable taking center place in a sexual subculture.

These dangers, of which HIV/AIDS is the best known, but which include hepatitis B and C, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, the human papilloma virus, herpes, and a host of other pathogens, will persist even after AIDS has been cured or can be prevented through vaccination."

I also laughed at the "an anus is not a vagina" graphic.

[gen11]

If you're getting fucked in the ass you probably lost the argument. :tongue:

Bullshit. This attitude has the depth and value of a maxed-out credit card.

[gen11]

I consider anal sex as the completeness to my sexuality. I enjoy anal sex with another male and I never see it as being submissive. I see it as enjoying sex with my partner. I love both sucking and anal, and we alternate as our needs and desires change. I love receiving anal and would bottom everytime if necessary. I so enjoy being a gay male!!

Now, that's a strong, healthy attitude <tipping hat>

[slipnslide]

Now, that's a strong, healthy attitude <tipping hat>

Anal sex is the public health crisis that no one wants to address because the gay/bi community would get all up in arms claiming that they're being singled out.

I just read yesterday that HIV is out of control in France. (http://topnews.co.uk/212739-study-aids-virus-occurrence-french-gay-men-gone-overboard)

"Also, the researchers found that the instance was 200 times higher in gay men to be infected with the virus in contrast to the heterosexual populace."

Another article asked, where is the leadership in the gay community to speak out against the practices that cause this silent crisis?

So yeah, strong healthy attitude - that results in 200x the instances of HIV and 40-50x the bacteria STIs. Brilliant.

[MarriedBottom]

I think there is a perception that being a bottom is a sign of being the weaker one. I disagree with it but I do acknowledge that some people think like that.

[NotLostJustWandering]

In Roman times, homosexuality was not viewed all that much different to heterosexuality. What mattered to them was who penetrated and who got penetrated. The penetrator was considered the person of power over the other. Being penetrated made one be viewed weaker.

That was the romans. So it might symbolize a version of submission of sorts. I'm not aware that penetrated are viewed as weaker today. In the mainstream, no one wants to know that much details about how gays engage in sex. I'm not aware of the bottom being viewed as weaker.

I think you're right about the "mainstream" if by that you mean white America. But the perception you associate with the ancient Romans is alive and well in cultures such as the Arab nations, Turkey, and much of Latin America. There you can find plenty of men who will fuck other men out of what we'd call bisexuality, or just plan failure to get pussy, yet consider themselves straight and have contempt for the "faggots" who bottom for them. I think that "straight" men's willingness to do this -- as well as commit homosexual rape in situations such as war -- is one reason behind ancient prohibitions of sodomy.

[bigdsassygirl]

Do you feel that male's who bottom and get that anal please are weaker males and if not why do you think society feels that way?

I believe that guys who continually like to bottom are not weaker, just more able to take a nice fat cock up the ass, and enjoy themselves while they are doing it. I am normally a top, but I don't think it's right for only one of the two in a relationship always bottom. It should be both enjoying all aspects of M2M sex.

Who cares what society thinks, most people are clueless or ignorant about these types of relationships.:tongue: