sephirothtx
Aug 24, 2010, 1:53 AM
i need to rant, about semi personal stuff, but since i don't know any of you, it'd be a good place to rant and get some ideas on what you think off.
I am not lucky when it comes to realtion ships, im not like allot of you whre you have open relationships, i am a closed relationship kind of guy, i am open to my partner having one if she followsthe rules, but im a one girl/boy kind of man, and needless to say allot of love comes from me and goes into my relationships. For me its more about love, emotion, and connection, than it is about fucking eachothers brains out (though i beleive that IS important)
so here's a short sotry of whats going on
several years ago i got with this gal, i wanna say woman but at the time we where transitioning from teens to adults and she was g irl-woman, lol, we stayed together for almost four years, give or take, in the time we became engaged, mostly accidnetly had a child, and then she got bored with me (much as i can figure)
now my love for her was true love and for that will never dissapere if lessen over time.
next i go for almost a year, maybe two, alone, i hate it, i toss and turn in bed becaues im a cuddler, as much as i love orgasms, i think i enjoy lying against hte warm back of my partner more, and a lonely twin sized bed just dosen't cut it.
anyway therew as this woman i became enamored with in colledge before i met the woman i just mentioned, but before i could get to her she became enovled in aonther relationship (turned out that guy was an asshole but by the time she broke up i was with this other chick)
anyway because that guy was an asshole, as well as other htings going on in her life she's not all together where she wants to be, while she knows i like her, she matches me very well, we are hanging out again, as much as possible iwth out schedules, and she knows i like her, at the same time she's kinda inferred a "not right now policy" which means either a: she really needs time to get stuff together, or b: she dosen't want to go out with me and didn't want to hurt my feelings
THEN my ex comes back, i find out she and her new bf is at odds and ends, she plays the "im available" "not like you'd want to get back with me" card, its very obvious, and i dunno. She sounds sencere, missing me, wishing me, her, and our child where a family again, but i dunno, i dunno if i trust her. NOT that she's not trust worthy, she never betrayed my trust aside fro mleaving me, and she never cheated on me.
So i dunno, im lost, on one end i have a new woman im falling for which is the perfect match so muc hlike me, we'd be like zippers meeting that would stay together unless torn apart. She may need some time, on the other hand i may be barking up the wrong tree and waiting may be a moot point.
Then i have my ex, how do i know im not her fall guy, you know the guy she falls back on when she's out of a current realtionsihps, i don't want to be that guy, but how do i not know she's senceere.
Do i wait for the one im falling for and possible miss the relationship ive been waiting for with my ex, and possibly never have her come around, or do i go with my ex with waht could possibley be a hokey fall back relationship were she will dump me again, and miss the chance of being with a girl that might be perfect for me (not that my ex and me didn't match, she was very expermental in bed lke me, we like simular thigns, and we loved eachother at the time for what it was worth)
in the words of the great charlie brown UGH!
or in the words of the great cat garfield AGH!
I am not lucky when it comes to realtion ships, im not like allot of you whre you have open relationships, i am a closed relationship kind of guy, i am open to my partner having one if she followsthe rules, but im a one girl/boy kind of man, and needless to say allot of love comes from me and goes into my relationships. For me its more about love, emotion, and connection, than it is about fucking eachothers brains out (though i beleive that IS important)
so here's a short sotry of whats going on
several years ago i got with this gal, i wanna say woman but at the time we where transitioning from teens to adults and she was g irl-woman, lol, we stayed together for almost four years, give or take, in the time we became engaged, mostly accidnetly had a child, and then she got bored with me (much as i can figure)
now my love for her was true love and for that will never dissapere if lessen over time.
next i go for almost a year, maybe two, alone, i hate it, i toss and turn in bed becaues im a cuddler, as much as i love orgasms, i think i enjoy lying against hte warm back of my partner more, and a lonely twin sized bed just dosen't cut it.
anyway therew as this woman i became enamored with in colledge before i met the woman i just mentioned, but before i could get to her she became enovled in aonther relationship (turned out that guy was an asshole but by the time she broke up i was with this other chick)
anyway because that guy was an asshole, as well as other htings going on in her life she's not all together where she wants to be, while she knows i like her, she matches me very well, we are hanging out again, as much as possible iwth out schedules, and she knows i like her, at the same time she's kinda inferred a "not right now policy" which means either a: she really needs time to get stuff together, or b: she dosen't want to go out with me and didn't want to hurt my feelings
THEN my ex comes back, i find out she and her new bf is at odds and ends, she plays the "im available" "not like you'd want to get back with me" card, its very obvious, and i dunno. She sounds sencere, missing me, wishing me, her, and our child where a family again, but i dunno, i dunno if i trust her. NOT that she's not trust worthy, she never betrayed my trust aside fro mleaving me, and she never cheated on me.
So i dunno, im lost, on one end i have a new woman im falling for which is the perfect match so muc hlike me, we'd be like zippers meeting that would stay together unless torn apart. She may need some time, on the other hand i may be barking up the wrong tree and waiting may be a moot point.
Then i have my ex, how do i know im not her fall guy, you know the guy she falls back on when she's out of a current realtionsihps, i don't want to be that guy, but how do i not know she's senceere.
Do i wait for the one im falling for and possible miss the relationship ive been waiting for with my ex, and possibly never have her come around, or do i go with my ex with waht could possibley be a hokey fall back relationship were she will dump me again, and miss the chance of being with a girl that might be perfect for me (not that my ex and me didn't match, she was very expermental in bed lke me, we like simular thigns, and we loved eachother at the time for what it was worth)
in the words of the great charlie brown UGH!
or in the words of the great cat garfield AGH!