Having your sexuality sucked right out of you.

[littlerayofsunshine]

This isn't a sexual post per se. But one I am sure that has touched peoples lives in many ways, that does tend to make one feel less of a sexual vixen or stallion, making them feel broken or fragile.

I have only been home for a few hours from a 13 hr hospital ER visit. I was doped up with taradol, morphine, delaudid, and Zofran for symptoms of severe back and pelvic pain. I was ran through a CT machine with internal and iv contrasts and two kinds of ultrasounds. For 12 hours of my hospital visit. I knew nothing. No one was talking to me and all they would tell me was "wait for your doctor to talk to you" or "we are waiting on more test results". No talk of suspicions or anything.. The last hour of the visit how ever what a kick in my gut.

I have a mass upon my ovary. That is 3-4 centimeters. I was also diagnosed with PCOS. And now i have been in shock and no nothing of my future other than i have to see someone on monday for more testing and a thorough exam.

I am young in their eyes at my age of 32. They tell me not to worry.

But as soon as the words sunk in. I stopped feeling human and felt like a sick animal to be a test subject. I do not feel like sexual being. I feel I am a broken woman.

Cancer? Tumor? WTF is it. and how am I to deal with it while putting on a happy front for my 4 kids. How to even have treatment with no insurance.

Some of you in this forum, not many at all, probably smiles at this news. But please, for the sake of human decency, Smile within and not use this moment to tear at me.

I have no other women to lean on for support and I have rarely if ever asked anyone for support.

I need you ladies and men right now. I'm trying not to drowned. Any words of encouragement or advice would be deeply appreciated. I'm scared as hell.

littleray of not so sunny, sunshine.

[showmeguy]

((((((((((( Sunshine on my shoulder )))))))))))))))) makes me happy

[swimmergirl]

Hugs i also got pcos if u need someone to talk about it with i am here.

[jamieknyc]

Don't let doctors make any assumptions about it. There have been cases where doctors performed hysterectomies on women assumign that it was a tumor, and by the time the pathology lab reported that it was only a cyst it was too late.

[Robinium]

Dear littlerayofsunshine,

I feel very sorry for you being treated like a piece of meat at the hospital, and for the weird result (I think they are going to analyze what exactly it is, might just be a huge cyst).

Now don't you have any possibilities to gather the money somewhere in case you need it?

Let me also tell you that even if they have to take out one ovary, you will still have one left. You can still become pregnant then, and as far as I know, the one ovary will produce more female hormones so you'll still have enough of them. My grandmother got one ovary out and still got 6 kids after that.

[Realist]

Littleray,

You're going through an awful event and maybe telling you what happened to me may help a little.

When I was about 24, soon after beginning to work, I had a sudden and incapacitating pain in my center chest.

An older fellow worker started yelling, "Heart attack, heart attack!!"

The combination of his panicking and the pain, made me think I was dying, for sure........right then!

I was rushed to the hospital where they ran a bunch of tests.

Just like in your case, no one said anything to me. After doing several tests, including an EEG, x-rays, probing, listening, and thumping me all over, they wheeled me into a room and left me. I was in there for hours, thinking of the absolute worst things that could happen to me.

Finally, a doctor came and told me that I had a hiatal hernia! I've lived with it, without much trouble, since. So, it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd thought.

Now, I know your situation is different and your problem may be better, or worse than mine. I just wanted to remind you that the worst part is waiting ...it's the part drives one crazy, because of the uncertainty. The fear of the unknown is one of the worst things we can endure.

But, modern medicine is remarkable and the chances of you having a full recovery is a lot more probable, that otherwise.

Keep the faith, Sweet Lady, and know that others will join me in pulling for a good diagnosis. Try not to worry about the unknown; gather your loved ones around you, and don't hold things in.

I'm sure others will have more comforting words, but I'm sending my heart-felt feelings that you'll be OK.

[BiCycler]

LittleRay, I'm not sure how I would do with a hospital visit like the one you describe. I think you have done a wise thing reaching out. I'll put you in my thpughts and hopes for a speedy recovery. Stand strong and do your best to stay positive.

[Falke]

Hey Sunshine

I'll see if Type53 would chat with you, as she also has PCOS. I'm sure she would be more than happy to chat with you on it.

[darkeyes]

*sticks out tidgies for kwik fluff*

Ray darlin'..only time Fran smiles wen u r concerned is with you.. well.. atya wen ya dus a bitta fluffin'.. but so sorry to hear of your problem.. I know exactly what its like having something there which shouldn't be.. it may be nothing yet until you know for sure, I know you will worry.. so I understand more than many just what is going through your mind.. our love and best wishes always and we will be thinking of a luffly lady in her time of trouble..

Huge kissies n huggles.. (((((((((((((((((((MUUUUUUUUUUAAAHHHHHHHH))))))))) )))))))

[littlerayofsunshine]

*Smiles at the outpouring of warmth, understanding, and information*

I am indeed trying to keep my head up. My husband has taken very hard to this and it's hard being strong for him, seeing him suffer with his thoughts of me, breaks my heart for him. He just lost his father about 4 years ago or so to cancer. I myself have lost 2 grandparents and 4 aunts and uncles to it in very different forms.

I just spent a while looking into the mirror and at first i hardly recognized myself. My face is bloated to 1/3 larger from the 4500 ml's of fluid they gave me in the ER not to mention the 2 quarts of IV contrast i drank while i was there. I am having to drink alot of extra fluids here at home to continue to flush all the toxins from the liquid and iv contrasts and feeling extra sluggish with the pain and oxycodone to help relieve it.

There are many unknown factors still and you all are right when i shouldn't worry about all the 'unknowns'. I have 4 children and i had tubes tied after the last, so no longer bearing children is not a big deal. If i was to lose the ovary, they say i can still have proper hormone levels from the remaining one.

I have been waiting on eggshells for a call from the specialist to find out about my return on monday. I told them i have no money and insurance. My family makes too much for Medicaid and too little to be able to afford insurance on me and my husband. My children have insurance though. So i will be filling out paper work for charity care once i get to the facility that will handle me. I don't know how well, charity care is, or if i will qualify for it. But will see.

I have no other family to lean on. As most of you know, i am estranged from my mother and have been for many years(about 17 years). My father is passed.

One day at a time.. Never have those words been more wiser to me.

Thank you, each and every one. Especially for tidgies. Such luffly ones bring a smile to my face.


As for those knowing of PCOS. Any information is welcomed. I know little of it, and i probably won't get much info on it from the doctors for the time being. Due to they want to deal with the mass first and worry about the rest later.

[Vikkster230]

Until they have something concrete, try not to worry... I know that it is so much harder than not. Know that all you have to do is ask, and I will be there for you. I'm sorry that they found anything at all. Don't worry about the ones who might be "smiling" at this situation and focus on the love of others.

Vik

[texasman6172003]

Ray Ray,OMG,I am so sorry you had too go through all of that. You know how i feel about you my friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Love ya Hon,Texie..

[void()]

Forget making any sort of payments. If you need anything from a hospital, ask a nurse to get you a financial aid packet. They are more than willing in most cases to use charitable write offs. And there is no shame in it at all, even the docs & nurses themselves use this.

I'm sorry to hear of your misfortunes. For now, I concur with advise to not worry until they give you something concrete. I've also seen two or three here speak up as 'been there, done that', willing to chat. Don't worry over boneheads, hon. We be sending you our lovings and best thoughts. Get better.

((((((((((((((((((((((( RayRay ))))))))))))))))))))))))

" ... and they called him Sugah, but he was like a ray, ray of sunshine bolting into a boxing ring!" -- void semi-recalling a Howard Cosell bit about Sugar Ray Lenard, who used to leave opponents seeing sun spots.

Go get 'em tiger!

[Robinium]

As for those knowing of PCOS. Any information is welcomed. I know little of it, and i probably won't get much info on it from the doctors for the time being. Due to they want to deal with the mass first and worry about the rest later.

PCOS is a quite common hormonal disorder, about 5-10% of European women have it. (I have it too so I looked up what that means. Though my endocrinologist says I also seem to have another condition which also increases my testosterone level a lot on its own (yeah!) and does other funny things to my hormonal balance, but my second condition is unknown. I'm pretty healthy altogether, but have prediabetes.)

PCOS leads to increased testosterone levels, which may have from no consequences at all to many consequences. What may or may not happen with a heightened testo level is:
- you get a bit of male patterened body hair
- mens is irregular or absent
- makes you less or not fertile
- acne
- Heightened testosterone levels may also cause your ovaries to get cysts, and these cysts themselves produce testosterone, which increases the testo level even more etc. Now these cysts may also degenerate into less funny things you don't want to have in your organism, which is probably what they are testing on you now. Might also be that you have a huge cyst and that's all (that's what I hope). Whatever you have there, they will probably take it out, which might evtl. be done in a minimally invasive way, they go through the nombril and suck up your cysts.

If you have PCOS, your insulin balance is also not quite normal. You should try to stay thin, do sports and eat healthy stuff with not much sugar in it etc., so you will be fine. You might however have pre-diabetes, which means your blood sugar level drops too fast making you tremble and feel like a starved Siberian wolf when you are hungry. (I have that) If you get obese, you may easily get diabetes type 2.

PCOS can be treated well with the anti-baby pill etc.

[csrakate]

I have no other family to lean on.

Lil Ray...I've sent you messages in private...but just had to reply to this comment here in the forum so that others can agree with me and remind you of one thing:

We are your family...be assured of that. You have plenty of people on this site who love you and care about you! Never feel alone because you are NOT alone!!

Much love and many hugs,
Kate

[DuckiesDarling]

LittleRay, major hugs hon. It probably is a cyst as others have said and most certainly treatable. Wishing you the speediest solution and recovery and can't wait til you feel like once again sharing your wit and wisdom and yep I'll say it smartass replies :)

[Billys_gurl]

littlray I will send many prayers out for you and your family. I have a few family members that have had problems in that are but was new to the PCOS diagnosis. It sounds unpleasant but it can be combated. Let the doctors do their thing, that's what they're paid for. And in agreement with everyone else about the financial side, there is nothing wrong with taking the charity case option at the hospital and all. i have the same problem you do. I make to much money to get state medical assistance, but not enough to afford health coverage. My son is on state assistance so that is a blessing. Sending love and hugs your way!

[onewhocares]

Lil Ray...I've sent you messages in private...but just had to reply to this comment here in the forum so that others can agree with me and remind you of one thing:

We are your family...be assured of that. You have plenty of people on this site who love you and care about you! Never feel alone because you are NOT alone!!

Much love and many hugs,
Kate

I so AGREE with Kate. Darlin, we are your family and will be here for you.

Belle

[tenni]

I wish you peace of mind and may this stressful blip be short leading to a positive outcome for you and your family.

[littlerayofsunshine]

Thank you all, special thanks for Void for stepping out and reaching out to me, i know its not always easy hun *blows you a sweet kiss*. I'm going to give it all i got baby, i ain't dun being sunshine yet. Just gotta blow all the clouds away then i can shine once again.

Viki, I'm so honored that we can still be open with each other after all this time. Thank you hunny.

Tex, Luvs you *smiles* how can i not, i spent so many years kissing your ass after you getting booted so much!

Kate, yes this has shown me... my family is still here, i just got a little estranged from them is all, but they were here all along waiting with open arms for me. Thank you so much.

DD (twyla), Smartass??? Moi??? One woman's smart assiness is that woman's um...... hmmmm... hell.. you're right, i'm a smart ass, but usually with a message attached. lol. *looks at her with a wicked smile* You're a little spitfire yourself dahlin *grins* (((((hugs))))


Billy'sgurl and Robinum. Thank you both for the info and encouragement/prayers. I used have irregular menses, but with my last pregnancy (almost 7 years ago now) i became hypoglycemic (i guess that is the prediabetes?) and still am hypo to this day. But ever since having her and getting my tubes tied, i haven't missed a month and can almost clock my periods to the exact day. i lost alot of weight after having her. I was 220 when at the height of my preg, and went down to 155 or so. since. and have been able to maintain that. But as i get treatment for it, i will mention these things. I never bothered to mention before because i didn't know they could be related. I am sort of a guy when it comes to health and pain, just deal with the thing that bothers me most and leave the rest for later.

Belle, Thank you hunny, That means so much to me, coming from you and Kate, and it makes me happy to see that the heart still pumps in this site, at times i worried it didn't. But seeing the outpouring from so many, shows this site is strong as ever.

Tenni... What can i say? We butt heads. We laugh at each other and.. well.. Thanks :)

[DuckiesDarling]

Heheh, hugs ya again. I know here we had a program called DSH that helped when I had the 180k hosp bill from well basically where I died and then spent two weeks in hospital after they brought me back. It took care of all my facility expenses but didn't touch my doctors. My surgeon was nice and wrote off his surgery for going and removing the bottom part of my lung, but all the x-rays.. Sigh I had three x-rays a day to see if lung had inflated yet and each of those x-rays had to be read. So yep many, many radiologist bills.

But if I had to pay that facility charge, I'd have had to sign over first born and second born child and leave an option on the third then still work for peanuts til the garnishment got paid.

I hope you have much better luck with getting help for your bills for medical care.

[Robinium]

Dear Little Ray of Sunshine,

I really think you probably have just a monster cyst or some degeneration of it, but not cancerous. This has to be taken care of, though. As I said, these cysts produce testosterone, so even if what you have is "just" a monster cyst, it might still do various funny things to your body over time as it would produce "monster" amounts of testosterone...


Please do me a favour and gather some more information about your PCO syndrome, as the insulin hormone part of the syndrom may make you diabetic over time if you don't adapt to it with your lifestyle. Don't be "too much of a guy" here. You needn't change much to cause a huge difference.

Hypoglycemia means you have not enough glucose (="grape sugar") in your blood a certain moment. This is at the moments when you tremble when hungry etc.. It may have several reasons. Probably as you have PCOS it's because you have too much insulin in your system at those moments, which eats away your glucose. Might be pre-diabetes, but get it checked by a doctor, preferably an endocrinologist.

Other than diabetics, people with pre-diabetes can eat half a pound of sugar at a time without really getting dead-sick, provided they eat something less silly one or two hours later. Buuutttt... if you eat too much of the wrong kind of food for too long, the pre-diabetes may degenerate into diabetes type 2 and that really sucks. So with pre-diabetes, you can eat cakes, sweets, noodles, spaghetti, grapes, white bread and drink alcoholic beverages, lemonade etc., but too much of this stuff too often will mess up your health in the long run and turn you diabetic - or more precisely, too many hypoglycemia attacks will do that to you. Your system breaks these kinds of food down to glucose quite fast, and the glucose level rises a lot. With pre-diabetes, your system over-reacts hysterically to this glucose and throws HUGE amounts of insulin into your system to lower the glucose level. All this insulin then eats too much of your glucose away so you get a hypoglycemic attack and start trembling, starved like a Siberian wolf etc.

The closer your diet is to that of a diabetic, the best it is for you, but you needn't be fanatic about that and can still enjoy eating all the things diabetics may not eat. So it's good to use potatoes or rice more than noodles, rye bread more than white bread, not too many sweets, cakes etc. I have pre-diabetes and have a 2/3 diabetic, 1/3 normal/junk food nutrition and take care WHEN I eat WHAT so my system does not run amok - it works for me. E. g. grapes are the worst thing ever, as what makes them sweet is - precisely glucose. So I only eat them short before or after a good meal. Anyway, you will get immediate award from caring about your nutrition in this respect, as it will immediately decrease your hypoglycemic attacks (and help you lose weight).

Another good thing is that you already lost a lot of weight. The more overweight you are, the easier you can get diabetes type 2. This is especially the case for PCOS ladies.

Sports also help getting your insulin balance more into normal, though I don't know why exactly. It somehow trains your system to deal better with glucose. Plus it helps you lose weight.

Once you have diabetes type 2, life gets a bit more annoying than it is anyway. Your insulin over-reaction does not work any more, you've "destroyed" your pre-diabetic reactions with too many hypoglycemic attacks in the long run. The pre-diabetes was dysfunctional but still much better than what you can expect from now on. You rather produce not enough insulin. You need to be as strict about your diet as a fundamentalist Christian is about sex. You can eat a cookie or two but not more. You can have a few bites of white bread but not more etc. or you'll need a shot of insulin and if you shoot too much - hypoglycemic attack. And if you ever want to kill yourself, go for the 1/2 pound of sugar or get an extreme insulin overdose. You don't want that.

Your periods being regular is a good sign. Maybe you take hormones to obtain that result? But having your sex hormones alright does not mean that the insulin hormone is okay, it's two different things.

So don't be "too much of a guy" here and once your ovary problem is over, check for the other effects of PCOS and how to take care of yourself to avoid problems in the future.

[yohko469]

Well dear. i won't belittle u by saying not to worry. but i also have PCOS. and more than likely the mass on your ovaries is just a really big cyst. cause when i was told i had it, they found one on my ovaries and i had surgery to remove it.

They are prolly gonna put u on Metformin. which is an insulin type med usually for type 2 diabetes but helps control the symptons of PCOS and tend to make u super nauseous it's something u'll have to deal with the rest of ur life unless u decide to get a hysterectomy :(

i've been dealing with this for years now, so if u wanna chat i'm always available, if not here on AIM
yohko469

Be well and take care of urself.

[Robinium]

They are prolly gonna put u on Metformin. which is an insulin type med usually for type 2 diabetes but helps control the symptons of PCOS and tend to make u super nauseous it's something u'll have to deal with the rest of ur life unless u decide to get a hysterectomy :(

You really mean hysterectomy (throw out the uterus) and not ovarectomy (throw out the ovaries)? Cause the uterus does not produce any hormones at all, it only is where the monthly bleedings are built up. And the ovaries, I did not know that they have any influence on the insulin level??

And do you take Metformin? I feel sorry for you if you do and it makes you suffer from the side effects.

Oh and Little Ray of Sunshine,

If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me. I suck with warm and comforting words, was never good at it. But I am okay when it comes to problem solving and for the more medical side - but cannot replace a medic. I can also gather good websites with informations about PCOS for you and post them here if you want to.

[Wolf_Sr]

Dear Little Ray of Sunshine...
You are certainly as sweet as your nickname, which always reminded me of a blondy litlle girl with curled hair enjoying the sunlight coming from the window of her bedroom.
Persons like you are protected by the good spirits and nothing bad can happen to you if you have faith in addition to the many friends you already have.
Hugs

[diB4u]

Lttleray,

I also have pcos and if you want to chat or something like that get back to me..... heads up hon your not alone hugs. x

[littlerayofsunshine]

Dear Little Ray of Sunshine...
You are certainly as sweet as your nickname, which always reminded me of a blondy litlle girl with curled hair enjoying the sunlight coming from the window of her bedroom.
Persons like you are protected by the good spirits and nothing bad can happen to you if you have faith in addition to the many friends you already have.
Hugs

*smiles and beams at Wolf*

Thank you so much for this. Is it okay if we replace the blondy girl, with a Raven haired child, the sun glimmering shades of fire and amber off her hair? That would be me, that lil girl.

My spirits have begun to lift and has begun to cautiously aim for the clouds. Your words centered me and gave me full reminder of the love and care i am surrounded by and that many are pulling for me, and its okay for me to be fragile and allow them to help lift me.

You are such a thoughtful man, dear Wolf *smiles warmly*

To Robinum, Yohko, and dib4... When i get my appt over and have more a more difinitive diagnosis, i will surely lean on you all for information and support. As for right now, my mind wants to take things slowly, one step at a time, one day at a time. Thank you all for reaching out. I hope that you can keep the door open for me to come to you.


DD (twyla) I'm so sorry you had to go through all that hunny. I do hope too that i have better luck getting the care paid for. I will keep you updated on what will happen in that regard. I do hope your health is much better and you are well and strong in this day and forward.

[littlerayofsunshine]

Not much to report as of late. The tone left from the emergency has quite changed. Its no longer "Oh noes, looks whats we found in uuuzz! We gots to take cares of its rights away! We'll callz U to cum in onz monday!!"

Has now become "Whoz are you??? Oooooohhzz. If they wanted to have seenz u rights aways. They would have callz me prontoes, We'z dun have ur paperworks. We'll callz Uuu whenz we findz them!"

To.. "What's ur insurances?? Nonez??? Oh nooeessss.. Okayz.. Cumz in on thurzday.

Drugs and waiting are giving me nightmares. Nirvana has invaded my dreams. Heart shaped box, is now an Ovary one.

[Vikkster230]

Not sure if there's any news as of today, but wanted to pass along some hugs...

[littlerayofsunshine]

I just got home from the doctors and lets say i am none to pleased.

Let's just say that the office obviously was confused, they treated this as a first time being seen, even though it was one of their doctor's that recommended in the ER that i been seen with a sonogram there. pronto!. Made me pay 150$ for the visit upfront. Though i told them i had no insurance and couldn't afford. Had to put it on credit card. Pelvic, Pap, reminder how important yearly exams are. Shoved objects and fingers inside my twat once again, jarring the ovary and an "oh i'm sorry i hurt you". me crying from the pain and going "i'm out of the pain meds the hospital sent me home with, could you refill them" and her going "well why don't you just take extra ibuprofen" Referrals for a yearly exam and an ultrasound for 2 MONTHS FROM NOW!, me crying while standing in pain and frustration while setting the appts at the front desk, luckily it was the Manager of the facility and she saw my pain and anguish and gave me the number to her personal line and told me to call her. Which i did.. On the way home!. So now she is investigating my case. So hopefully some understanding will come full view. But honestly i doubt it. Oh not to mention i was there 2 hours waiting and only had 15 min the doctor, i also complained to the manager about that too.

So here i am, back home, in bad pain, bleeding now from the exam, and just fucking waiting. My husband is pissed and my kids are full of worry. But hey. The doctor that saw me got out on time so i am sure she's fine and dandy with her family.

Gotta love the US medical system.

Thanks for the hugs Viki, i really needed them. *Hugs you back tightly*

[darkeyes]

Really sorry to hear this awful tale of woe and ineptitude Ray.. the one time we need medical practitioners with good bedside manner is when we are stressed and worried.. we dont need to come out worse than when we went in.. get better me luffly lil fluffer... and while I hope the quack who has caused you this pain gets her come uppance in time.. whats more important is you getting the treament you need and you deserve.. huge kissies n lotsa huggles..

[DuckiesDarling]

oh no sweetie.... I'm sad to say that I believe men make better gynecologists just from a personal experience of mine and what you just posted. You'd think having the same anatomy would make them a little more sensitive in how they shove things in.

Major hugs, hopefully you get a refill soon, it's obvious you are in pain and abhorrent the way you are being treated.

[Doggie_Wood]

Lil Ray...I've sent you messages in private...but just had to reply to this comment here in the forum so that others can agree with me and remind you of one thing:

We are your family...be assured of that. You have plenty of people on this site who love you and care about you! Never feel alone because you are NOT alone!!

Much love and many hugs,
Kate


I so AGREE with Kate. Darlin, we are your family and will be here for you.

Belle


These two have said it best on how I feel about you Ray-Ray. And when I think of you I remember you were the first to greet me to the site and introduce me around.
I remember the vid clip I sent you and when I think of it, I think of the loverly sexxy Ray of Sunshine that we all have come to Love and care deeply for. True oh so true. You are amongst family here and are never alone.
I . . . errr . . . we love you deeply Ray - never forget that.
And if I had a magic carpet, I would fly to your relief stopping by the pot-o-gold at the end of the rainbow on my way to you.
Stay strong for the kids - your husband is there to unfold your true feeling to.

You are .... Lil' Ray of Sunshine ! You will never be blocked by the clouds !

Doggie :doggie:

[Vikkster230]

You'd also think that since you were told that you had something on your ovary and that you'd be tremendously freaking scared of the whole thing, they'd be full of compassion...

[diB4u]

I just got home from the doctors and lets say i am none to pleased.

Let's just say that the office obviously was confused, they treated this as a first time being seen, even though it was one of their doctor's that recommended in the ER that i been seen with a sonogram there. pronto!. Made me pay 150$ for the visit upfront. Though i told them i had no insurance and couldn't afford. Had to put it on credit card. Pelvic, Pap, reminder how important yearly exams are. Shoved objects and fingers inside my twat once again, jarring the ovary and an "oh i'm sorry i hurt you". me crying from the pain and going "i'm out of the pain meds the hospital sent me home with, could you refill them" and her going "well why don't you just take extra ibuprofen" Referrals for a yearly exam and an ultrasound for 2 MONTHS FROM NOW!, me crying while standing in pain and frustration while setting the appts at the front desk, luckily it was the Manager of the facility and she saw my pain and anguish and gave me the number to her personal line and told me to call her. Which i did.. On the way home!. So now she is investigating my case. So hopefully some understanding will come full view. But honestly i doubt it. Oh not to mention i was there 2 hours waiting and only had 15 min the doctor, i also complained to the manager about that too.

So here i am, back home, in bad pain, bleeding now from the exam, and just fucking waiting. My husband is pissed and my kids are full of worry. But hey. The doctor that saw me got out on time so i am sure she's fine and dandy with her family.

Gotta love the US medical system.

Thanks for the hugs Viki, i really needed them. *Hugs you back tightly*

sounds like an awful experience to go throw, sorry to hear that your hospital wasnt as good as it should be. Im not to sure about the american way of health care but is that standard practice to pay upfront?:eek:

[littlerayofsunshine]

Amazing what a understanding mind and cognitive skills and do.

The investigation from the Manager, got another doctor involved. A doctor more concerned with patients feelings. He listened to me and went over the test results with me and also advised me. THAT ITS NOT CANCER!!!. Yayyyy. How fucking easy was that? I couldn't get the others to tell me anything definitively, but thank goodness he did, cause now i have no worries about it.

To summarize what he said. I have PCOS, i am more sensitive to the pain and fluid build from the Cysts rupturing, that my ovaries are abnormally large, but thats due to the PCOS and that can cause more of a compression on other things in that area. That when I come back in 3 weeks, i will be put on birth control (which i hope i can get through the local health unit) and that will stop ovulation and prevent it from making the cysts for the future.

It took going through 5 other doctors, to get this 6th one to tell me point blank and in a manner that was not condescending. The amount of relief i feel. Simple trusty dusty birth control pill. (Granted i had my tubes tied 6 years ago) But hell, a lil tiny pill. Shorter periods, less mood swings, maybe even get rid of adult acne. and no more ovulating.

I can live with that. Go back in two months for the ultrasound make sure everything is hunky dory.

*Sighs* i should kick 5 asses for making me worry so much and kiss 2 for making it all better.

Thanks everyone for all your thoughts, well wishes and prayers.

I can feel more confident this pain will cease and so that in itself makes it more bearable to me.

Thank you all, from the bottom of my ovary and heart.

[coyotedude]

Hooray! That is excellent news! I am sorry that you had to go through hell to get it, but congratulations that it isn't cancer!

[DuckiesDarling]

Hugs LittleRay, that is awesome news. I can't imagine why you had to go through all the doctors while thinking you had cancer and not one of them but the last one thought to reassure you. I think sometimes they get so wrapped up in the money end that they completely forget the Hippocratic Oath.

[darkeyes]

TF.. Muah!:)

[littlerayofsunshine]

*smiles and blows Fran a long slow sensual kiss from across the pond*

Ty hunny, I'll be back to tidgie fluffin in no time.

Coyote and DD. Thanks so much ^ ^ I felt so much relief i slept like stone last night for the first time in over a week. Hubby said he watched me sleep for about 45 min this morning cause he couldn't remember the last time i looked so peaceful.

And you are right DD, i agree with you. Thats why i voiced that concern with the doctor yesterday. I told him, yeah i don't have insurance, but i PIF'd the day of my visit. I don't want to be dicked around just because i don't have insurance. He goes "we don't base our treatments on that", i said "well at the office yesterday, i got asked 6 times if i had any insurance, so i beg to differ". I should just go to my kids pediatrician, he's a saint. Had him for almost 11 years. That man lives to be a doctor, not to be rich. And well. he's 82 years old too. On the medical board of a hospital and has been affiliated with the hospital for ever. So he's got the right balance of old medicine and new medicine.

[texasman6172003]

I am just glad you will be Ok Ray Ray..:bigrin:

[littlerayofsunshine]

Mmmm. Ty sexxy Texxy, Put a couple of fotos in my prof, to wet your. um.. Appetite. Enjoy hunny. *Kisses* and many thanks.

[Robinium]

Congratulations! It's great news that you don't have cancer or anything like that.

Don't forget about the insulin hormone thing though.