My boyfriend broke up with me for another guy!

[biguy101]

Hello,

I am 24, going to graduate college in May with a marketing degree and I need some advise. My boyfriend of about 7 months just broke with me. We are both Bi and he broke up with me for another Bi guy he had been seeing for about a month or so. We are still going to be friends but I just don't know if he's making the right choice.

They have known each other since January but started dating so to speak in June
They made it "official" August 8th and they have had sex. My boyfriend told me that he feels like he can conquer the world when he's around him and that he thinks about him all the time. They have already talked about going out to California and getting married in the future.

My ex just got a nursing job and has started looking at houses. He said he's going to have him move in when he buys one. He said he is on a different level with him than he was with me.

His new guy is in an "open" relationship with the mother of his like 5 year old son and my ex said that she will not take him moving in with my ex very well and that her friends are very dangerous. His new guy works at advance auto parts and did not go to college...he is 28.

My ex was my first sexual experience and first true love. He said in the future if things don't work out between them we might can try again. He still wants to be friends and wants to still do stuff on a regular basis. He cried and broke down when he told me about his feelings.

I just wanted to see what you all thought about this and if you thought it is still a good idea to do stuff together. My ex also said that his new bf is very jealous.

I am not going to let it drag me down though because the sun will still come up tomorrow, however I am still hurting inside. I just feel like this is one of those falling in love too fast predicaments.

Please give me some advise if you can.

I don't even know why I'm concerned but do you this his new guy will work out, considering the circumstances?

[littlerayofsunshine]

I don't think the true question is "Do we think this guy will work out", but in reality the question is "What will you work out of this?"

Sometimes turning outwards is just a way to avoid looking in.

Good luck to you.

[Hephaestion]

Hello,

........I am not going to let it drag me down though because the sun will still come up tomorrow, however I am still hurting inside.........

Please give me some advise if you can.



Suggest that you already have the right advice in your own message. Hurting is natural and eventually it will pass.

Re-evaluate in the future should the circumstances arise.

Good luck

[chuck1124]

I don't usually offer my advice, but this one caught me. You sound like a very nice, caring, loving young woman and don't deserve to be hurt like this. Yes, it may be a question of falling in love too soon. Goodness knows, so many of us have. But, if this ex says he is bi, that is an untrue. He is gay,for sure, that is why he wants to go to California and get married. But is also sounds like he is hedgeing his bets so to speak. "If things don't work out" he will come back to you. Is that what you want? A guy that will settle for you if other things don't work out? Do you want to love a guy who will want you only if other things don't work out. I know, I sure would not want to be second best. Consider, though. You are young, intelligent and, now that school is over, have more freedom to explore more guys in your life. I've been there, my friend. There are other guys out there that will love you and respect you and desire you. Its time to move one and stop "doing things" with this ex. I can't even say, "until he makes up his mind" I my opinion, he has made up his mind. Now you make up your mind.

[slipnslide]

Geez, not sure how biguy101 likes being called a loving young woman.

Either way, it's over, move on. Life's too short. His loss right?

[biguy101]

Thank you all for the advice! I really appreciate it and it has helped! I guess since he was my first I am just having a harder time with it. I am mad at him for what he did because he lied and cheated on me but at the same time I still love him and want to stay in contact. He has actually texted me practically everyday since he broke with me.

I am moving on, I'm not waiting around! That what his last ex is doing (they are currently still roommates) and he is going to kick him out with that new guy moves in. My ex broke up with his 1st love (a girl) the exact same way he did me, started seeing this guy (his ex before me) and whipped out the feelings changing on his girlfriend. Same thing with his ex before me (of 5 years)...said his feelings changed, only then he wanted to "explore his curiosity" and hooked up with about 8-10 guys before he met me. So, I'm beginning to think he can't really be satisfied....haha! He does the exact same then with vehicles, he switches around a lot!

By the way, I saw this coming...in June he said he was going his mom's for the night, forgot his charger and said that he was gonna turn of his phone to save power and he'd talk to me tomorrow. Then I noticed he began not wanting to do much sexual activities and wouldn't say I love you or I miss you as much. We went to the beach the weekend after the 4th with his roommate (ex). In the evenings when we would be out walking around he would fall behind and sometimes stop because he was TEXTING so much!! Then within the past couple weeks he stopped saying I love you and miss you all together and last weekend he literally ignored me the entire weekend (last weekend was when they made it "official" and had sex. Then last Tuesday...BAM its over!

Yall are right...it's his loss and he will miss my kind of love!

[sephirothtx]

there's a quote i once read, and fuck me if i remember it at all lol
but it went somthing like this "if he dosent love you know, he never really loved you at all"

true love is forever, i may not be religious or superstitious but i beleive that, if you lose your love for somone or somone looses their love for you, then that love was never true love, but more likely a feint of lust. Yes you may have been in true love with him, if that is so, then you will always love him and it will always way down on you, i know this has happened to me on 2 occaisions, but there is a great chance he never felt the same way about you, and thus, no matter how you felt, it was never meant to happen

[citystyleguy]

...and the key to your solution, what with way too much overlapping '...someone seeing somone else, all the while being with yet another someone...' is your own sentence;

'...I am moving on, I'm not waiting around!...'

best of luck! :cool:

[biguy101]

Update....

I found out some more information about my situation. My ex's new guy said that this is the first time he's ever told his mom that he is Bi and he has already introduced my ex to his mom and dad (dad doesn't know). Here is a kicker....He, his girlfriend, son, and other family members are scheduled to go on a 7 day cruise in October. He is going to take my ex instead of his girlfriend. It's already been paid for and everything.

By the way him and his girlfriend have been together for 6 years and had a baby a little over 3 years ago. He said it was over 3 years ago but is staying just because of the child. He said he loves her but is not in love with her.

My ex and him met in person one time (actually his girlfriend introduced them and encouraged him to talk to my ex but I think it was just for the intention of sex since they are in an open relationship) then they found each other on a "hookup" website...I think it was adultfriendfinder.com and it just started from there.

They have been together only "officially" for 2 weeks but yet my ex wants his opinion on the house he is thinking about purchasing. I have told my ex a few times if he ever wants me to go look at houses with him I'd be happy to. Does he ask me? nope!

In my opinion, I don't think my ex is looking at the big picture here and future consequences. Another thing is, as soon as he buys a houses and moves in, his new guy is moving in as well.

I hung out with him for a bit last Thursday night...he gave me three hugs, touched my hair, chest, and also wiped off my face. He also sat very close to me. I think he does still have feelings for me.

It all just seems very fishy to me, what about yall?

[slipnslide]

What happened to moving on?

[biguy101]

haha...I am slowly...trust me!!!

[hydropop]

Update....

I found out some more information about my situation. My ex's new guy said that this is the first time he's ever told his mom that he is Bi and he has already introduced my ex to his mom and dad (dad doesn't know). Here is a kicker....He, his girlfriend, son, and other family members are scheduled to go on a 7 day cruise in October. He is going to take my ex instead of his girlfriend. It's already been paid for and everything.

By the way him and his girlfriend have been together for 6 years and had a baby a little over 3 years ago. He said it was over 3 years ago but is staying just because of the child. He said he loves her but is not in love with her.

My ex and him met in person one time (actually his girlfriend introduced them and encouraged him to talk to my ex but I think it was just for the intention of sex since they are in an open relationship) then they found each other on a "hookup" website...I think it was adultfriendfinder.com and it just started from there.

They have been together only "officially" for 2 weeks but yet my ex wants his opinion on the house he is thinking about purchasing. I have told my ex a few times if he ever wants me to go look at houses with him I'd be happy to. Does he ask me? nope!

In my opinion, I don't think my ex is looking at the big picture here and future consequences. Another thing is, as soon as he buys a houses and moves in, his new guy is moving in as well.

I hung out with him for a bit last Thursday night...he gave me three hugs, touched my hair, chest, and also wiped off my face. He also sat very close to me. I think he does still have feelings for me.

It all just seems very fishy to me, what about yall?




Seems to me someones looking for attention ,,,,, MOVE ON ALREADY

[NEPHX]

.... I have told my ex a few times if he ever wants me to go look at houses with him I'd be happy to. Does he ask me? nope!

....In my opinion, I don't think my ex is looking at the big picture here and future consequences. Another thing is, as soon as he buys a houses and moves in, his new guy is moving in as well.

.... I hung out with him for a bit last Thursday night...he gave me three hugs, touched my hair, chest, and also wiped off my face. He also sat very close to me. I think he does still have feelings for me.


Yup. you have him just where he wants you.... :eek:

Don't be a putz/pawn (we all probably do it at one time or another to some degree or worse...) if you had been together 7-years, maybe give him a bit of space but 7-months and a living breathing soap opera of a life he has.... RUN.... Cut it off COLD. Tell him he can call you only if he's bleeding out but leave a msg. Then, down the road see how YOU feel about being his "friend" (or audience). No contact at all for AT LEAST 3-mos if not 6-mos is the best way to break it off. MOVE on or, you could set yourself up to be his bitch (which it sounds like he has a little collection of X's all around him.).

He seems to like being the center of everyone's attention and wants to be "wanted." There are lots of personality disorders that fit that bill.. BPD, NPD... if you read the symptoms (easy to find online) you'll probably find his explicit behavior patterns. If you are attracted to people like that, you might learn why you are and how to handle yourself, and them, so you can survive.

Keep this rule tucked inside your wallet for future use: Never go out with anyone who is still rooming with "their X." Seriously.... sounds like its all right out Jersey Shore :rolleyes:

[littlerayofsunshine]

Sounds to me its a lingering case of RVD. Revolving Door Syndrome.

Couple of things about revolving doors. Those who touch them leave many unwanted fingerprints. Most often a revolving door is just a quick way to enter, do your business (number 1 or 2 'metaphorically' of course) and leave. Last but not least, it can get a bit exhausting always making sure said Door is always available and in working order, cause heaven forbid it wasn't, they could simply just use the next revolving door.