how do I find a bi s/o

[ben m]

Always seems to be like finding a needle in a haystack. If anyone has any ideas
I would like to here them. I am a straight male. One of my past lovers was a
bi-f. It was great and I want to get into a similar relationship. :three:

[elian]

A long while ago when I tried a personal service I actually put it in my profile...right up front - that way there's no reason to even have that awkward talk - if they know from the start, and that doesn't interest them then they can keep on reading down to the next profile..

[TaylorMade]

Always seems to be like finding a needle in a haystack. If anyone has any ideas
I would like to here them. I am a straight male. One of my past lovers was a
bi-f. It was great and I want to get into a similar relationship. :three:

What did you like about it, was it that she was bi or were there other factors?

*Taylor*

[ben m]

What I liked the best about having a bi female for a lover is that I was able to have intimacy of being with the women I love and all the excitement of having an affair all at the same time. But without the guilt and without the cheating.
I felt completely satisfied, I would like to feel that way again.

[TaylorMade]

What I liked the best about having a bi female for a lover is that I was able to have intimacy of being with the women I love and all the excitement of having an affair all at the same time. But without the guilt and without the cheating.
I felt completely satisfied, I would like to feel that way again.

So it's the 'two-women-at-once' thing? <_<

Good luck.

*Taylor*

[ben m]

no it is not just a "two women at once thing".
if it were that simple I would just pay for it and
have it when ever I wanted. I am seeking a
bi significant other, not two girl action.

[SweetKitchyFae]

It appears to me that you might want to look into finding a partner that is Poly-amorous. It sounds like you like the feeling of being allowed to feel affection for more than one person at a time. If you are not familiar with it there is a lot of info on the web about it or feel free to ask me anything you like. It is a wonderful thing!!!.:bibounce:

[darkeyes]

no it is not just a "two women at once thing".
if it were that simple I would just pay for it and
have it when ever I wanted. I am seeking a
bi significant other, not two girl action.

If u don't want girl on girl action or to be the filling in the sandwich does it matter her sexuality? I'm not too sure you are being honest either with yourself or us... and if its a girl who understand your own bisexuality you're looking for which on the face of it doesnt seem to be the case, take it from me, not all bisexual girls are keen on bisexual men.. thats also dishonest and hypocritical but it is the way it is..

[ben m]

girl on girl is really hot, I do want this in a relationship.
in my past love triangle my x was bi and her lover was
gay. I just have no idea how to get that kind of relationship
back.

[darkeyes]

girl on girl is really hot, I do want this in a relationship.
in my past love triangle my x was bi and her lover was
gay. I just have no idea how to get that kind of relationship
back.

Im gay and my partner bisexual.. can tell you this..if ever we open our relationship out.. her male lovers wont be anywhere near when we make love.. ;)

[ErosUrge]

I too desire a significant other who would be a bi female or straight and accept me being bi. But my reason for wanting a bi woman for a significant relationship is not because of having an experience with two women though of course, I wouldn't turn it away if I were asked to be part of the mix. It would be because she would more than likely understand the dynamics of my sexuality and I hers and all the wonderful nuances and beauty that only the two of us would share in being lovers but most importantly we would be the greatest of friends to each other. And this too would include sharing male partners if that is something that she would want to be a part of....
But again, more importantly would be our special friendship that we both would treasure and understand.
You are correct in your statement that it is very difficult or has been for me so far too. It's not impossible as I already know of such couples in such situations already. It requires the greatest of trust and communication as do all relationships.

[ben m]

darkeyes you would have been with my x and me and your gf
would have been invited too. I am poly but not meeting the
same.

[Robinium]

I too desire a significant other who would be a bi female or straight and accept me being bi. (...) It would be because she would more than likely understand the dynamics of my sexuality and I hers.

I never read anything which put it so well into a few abstract words as you have written down here. Thank you very much for your posting.

I think a bi dating a bi is the easiest way, more comprehension etc. no matter whether the relationship is monogamous or not. Unless, of course, you are dating a jerk or your partner suffers from paranoid jealousy. Other configurations can work as well, but they often seem to cause stress at least for a while. They might lead to "issues" of all kinds. Oh well and I'm a slut when I am a single, but have never ever cheated on any of my partners in my life and cannot imagine ever to cheat but was often suspected to as "I'm a bi". I'm 35, by the way.

From my experience before transition, so apparently as a bi girl though I told my partners I am a male inside but only some time after telling them I'm a bi... well, I found out that many (not all!) non-bi guys tend to either tell me they wish to have threesomes, which I don't bother being asked. But I don't want to be asked that as the first reaction to a difficult coming out struggle with worries whether I'll be dumped. (this were the straight guys) Meanwhile, I have changed my tactics and tell I'm bi before it gets serious.

Or they fall into the jealousy mode. Of course all bis are sluts so you gotta have a jealousy paranoia while dating a bi and turn their life into hell :rolleyes: which is awful if you're a bi as you cannot meet ANYONE without your lover creeping out for no reasons. (That was the lesbian I dated plus one straight guy)

Or they think they "turned you straight" - or gay - just because you're dating them no matter how often you try to explain that yes, (s)he's your love but you are also into women/men and yes, you still look at them but don't cheat... no magic happened there changing your orientation, no matter how much you love them. Well they don't take it seriously that you're a bi or think it was just a phase until you met them. Nice for them to think they're that fabulous that they can turn bi people into straights or gays, less nice for you to be ignored as what you are by your own partner and that they don't believe you what you tell them. (That was one homophobic straight (???) guy I dated and I'll never ever will date homophobes again. Oh, and long after we broke up, he got very pissed off when he heard that I started transitioning into a male :bigrin:).

My bi partners never believed that silly biphobic stuff or acted on it, but looked at what kind of person I was and vice versa. They can tell the differences between prejudices and reality better when it comes to the bi topic. And they know exactly that the prejudices are bullshit. Plus we had both to deal with the same kind of specific biphobic bullshit by other people, which makes us have more in common (you're confused, immature, greedy, closeted gay etc.).

I mean, not all non-bi people fall into these bi prejudice traps, but these prejudices are so extremely repanded. So I understand when bi people prefer to find a bi partner as there are far less chances that you will have to deal with this sh*t. You ruin less of the first magic months of being in love if you don't have to first throw the bi prejudices garbage out of your partner's brain, piece by piece. Plus with prejudiced non-bis, you don't know if you will ever get your partner out of their biphobic or prejudiced mindset. However, open-minded non-bis are fine to date, and it may work well and they may be awesome. But you might still need to explain a lot and throw away many false assumptions.

At least, that's my experience by now.

[ben m]

Thanks for the help people. joined ok-cupid. cool site, it lets me
filter out all the bi women. I'm sorry I did not find this site sooner.
I always felt I'd rather be alone than marry a straight woman and
I was starting to get used to being alone.

[darkeyes]

Thanks for the help people. joined ok-cupid. cool site, it lets me
filter out all the bi women. I'm sorry I did not find this site sooner.
I always felt I'd rather be alone than marry a straight woman and
I was starting to get used to being alone.

It is nice to be able to get the woman of your dreams Ben.. but the woman of our dreams is not always the one with whom we fall in love.. my partner isn't tall enough, too reserved, too slim, too bossy, too critical, too argumentative, colours her hair, not free spirited enough and far too sensitive.. but she does have very good taste, compassion, humour, is a terrific mother, great fun and as a lover is as much as I could wish for and more than I deserve.. yet all of these things is her... there are things I would change in her as there are in me she would do likewise and as we go through life we shall change and adapt to each other even more than we have already.. but neither of us pressures the other, and we are amazingly happy.... kismet decides whether we find the person of our dreams, and while it is right that we strive for the perfect mate, in the end chemistry between two people will settle the matter, and often there are many things about them we would prefer was other.. but being in love means more than getting all that we want.. being alone is all very well, but the challenge and excitement of loving one who is not our dream lover far outweighs the advantage of her being perfect..

..and more..the woman, or person of our dreams in time becomes anything but, and the person we love and share our life with who is not, very often with time becomes just that.. a romantic view maybe.. but I am nothing if not romantic..