found out my bf is bi

[sasha1216]

I just found out the my boyfriend is bi, I am in a state of panic right now. Don't want to leave him, we have the best relationship. He has been hiding this from me, we have been dating for 8 months. He didn't tell me, which is what is bothering me so much...I had asked multiple times and he always denies. I want to talk to him about this but don't know exactly what to do...any advise?

[littlerayofsunshine]

I responded to your first post

Click Here (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showpost.php?p=178617&postcount=5)

[onewhocares]

Hi Sasha,

First, welcome to this site. Glad you found us. Being bisexual or even bi-curious is not the end of the world. There may be many reasons why your boyfriend is not able at the moment to admit it to you, let alone himself. For many men it is just not the sexual aspect that is involved, but the emotional, intellectual as well as the physical sides that come into consideration and perhaps he has never viewed himself as having both a man and a woman fill those needs. Maybe he is afraid that if he admits to being bisexual, that you will be scared off and leave him. Well right off the bat, a woman who comes to a site looking for support, answers and help is not likely the kind of girl that says hit the road Jack.

I think that one way to make him feel comfortable would be to talk to him in a way that is reassuring to him but also mention that you are confused and perhaps scared yourself, but you have come here to learn about what it mean so you can help him and you can journey down a road together. The road ahead is long and winding and there are many different paths that lead us to our destination. The ride along the way is what you make it.

If you would like, a few of us here belong to Alternate Paths which is a Yahoo group of women who are involved with or married to bisexual or gay men which have so so much insight into how they have managed to keep their relationships together.

Belle

[citystyleguy]

I just found out the my boyfriend is bi, I am in a state of panic right now. Don't want to leave him, we have the best relationship. He has been hiding this from me, we have been dating for 8 months. He didn't tell me, which is what is bothering me so much...I had asked multiple times and he always denies. I want to talk to him about this but don't know exactly what to do...any advise?

okay, was going to respond at the other site, but as i found your posting here...

first off, it's clear that you must have found out from a third party, as you have stated that despite having asked repeatedly, he has adamantly denied the bi status, because if you had walked in on him and another dude, then there cannot be any basis for denial. so, anyway...

as for advice, sit the boy down, telling him you have something of vital importance to talk about, and then lay it on the line. to encourage him to come clean, be clear as to how you found out. this can elicit all kind of reactions, but at least you now have it out in the open...

and then take a deep breath, keep up the back and forth of conversation, and ask the questions that plagues you, and allow him the same.

finally, best of luck, let us know what happens!

[TamLin]

If the only thing bothering you is that he didn't tell you, you should really cut him a little slack. It's a hard thing to tell someone, and very few people understand. It can cause serious problems in a relationship if you're not sure how the other person will react. He was probably motivated more by anxiety than by a desire to deceive you.

[ninetythree]

I just found out the my boyfriend is bi, I am in a state of panic right now. Don't want to leave him, we have the best relationship. He has been hiding this from me, we have been dating for 8 months. He didn't tell me, which is what is bothering me so much...I had asked multiple times and he always denies. I want to talk to him about this but don't know exactly what to do...any advise?

If you think your relationship is the "best" and you are bothered by the hiding and not by his sexuality, then you will be helping him by telling him these things. He might feel ashamed of being bisexual or fear you will leave him because of it.

Ultimately, he has to be really comfortable to admit it to you. Some men can't bear the idea of telling anybody, either for fear it will get out or fear their partner will view them differently.

[bihim4her]

I just found out the my boyfriend is bi, I am in a state of panic right now. Don't want to leave him, we have the best relationship. He has been hiding this from me, we have been dating for 8 months. He didn't tell me, which is what is bothering me so much...I had asked multiple times and he always denies. I want to talk to him about this but don't know exactly what to do...any advise?

Girl Talk: Dating A Bi-Guy
Check out this article:

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-girl-talk-dating-a-bi-guy/
:male::male::female: :rolleyes:

[slipnslide]

Something about this original post isn't right.

[sasha1216]

Thank you so much for everyones advice. I did talk to him and he did admitted to messing around with men in the past. He reasured me that he is only interested in a relationship with a woman and loves women, he just enjoys messing around with guys sometimes. I this point, I just need to accept it bc I do enjoy messing around with girls too, which we have done together. I understand where is coming from. He said, he never told me bc he was scared I would leave him.