Hey Queers

[glantern954]

What do you think about the word queer? I realize context has alot to do with it, but do you generally think the word is positive or negative?

[DannyJ]

When I hear the word "queer", I imagine my reaction is similar to a black person's who hears the word "n****r" from someone who is not black, context be damned.

[Michael623]

This is a joke, right?

[Lorcan]

I use that term all the time on myself. When i go into a GLBT area i call myself queer because it doesn't set up this "I'm one thing and you're another thing"... we are all queer there.

But yeah non-queers can use it quite disparagingly.

[glantern954]

No Joke. Maybe this will help:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/11/05/offbeat.queer.evolution.ap/



This is a joke, right?

[ambi53mm]

Words and phases we use evolve. One hundred years ago, if I had told someone "Hey. I'm cool", they would have probably given me something warm to wear. "Queer" still has a negative flavor to me because its usage when referring to homosexuals, has always been considered derogatory. Many of the people I know today, would still use it in that way. But then again this is coming from a “sexually gender-orientated challenged individual”. If someone wants to call me queer… Hey, I’m cool. :bigrin:

Ambi :)

[DiamondDog]

I've seen it mostly used as a political term, or a term that describes the fluidity of sexuality itself.

Here's are some definitions from UrbanDictionary.com:
queer
Originally meant to describe something as unusual or strange. Became a deroggatory word to describe homosexuals. More recently, it has been reclaimed by non-heterosexuals as a word used to describe themselves. Queer can now be used to describe homosexuals, bisexuals, and transgendered people. In scholarly studies the word queer is also used to describe those who practice unconventional sex (e.g. bondage, etc.), therefore even heterosexuals can sometimes be defined as queer.


queer-
Originaly meant strange or odd. Now stands for anyone who is sexualy different but may or may not mean gay. Queer covers any type of gender or sexual attitudes that are outside of the mainstream of one man one woman monogamy. You can be Queer and still have a heterosexual orientation if you have unusual sexual or gender identites, philosophies or habits.

[arana]

I agree with Danny and Ambi, it's one of those words that your "average" person would still use to discribe in a negative manner whereas you could get away with it's usage from one gay person to another with affection. On the same note you could tell someone they are perfect and depending on the tone and attitude it can be just as negative. In the end they're all just words, it's the people behind them that can be dangerous.

[m.in.heels&hose]

Intially, i dont like this word, but (like everyone else mentioned) its mostly in the text that it is used


for instance, most people i work with would use this in a very negative manner, but anyone from here (bi sexual.com) and it wouldnt phase me at all

and by the defination given, thats me in a nutshell :tong:

thanks for my :2cents:

m.in.heels&hose

[texasman6172003]

Hi Y'all, I genarally dont like the term " queer" in how it is normally used buy alot of people. Like mihh where i work it is thrown around in such a offensive way, it is unbelievebale.. So i just genarally dont like it used as a negative conatation.Love,,,Charles,,,Tex...

[Mrs.F]

I have never liked that word. My personal opinion is that it is "negative" and meaning "your not normal". Whatever normal is?? I just don't like it and I have and never will use the word.

Mrs.F :)

[glantern954]

So does anyone know any better words to describe non-straight people as a group?



What do you think about the word queer? I realize context has alot to do with it, but do you generally think the word is positive or negative?

[ambi53mm]

Sexually gifted :bigrin:

[2fer'swife]

If you are interested in those questions glantern, I have a book I can recommend. It's titled (forgive me, but it's the title) Nigger, by Randall Kennedy. It's roughly about taking the power out of negative labels. He has some valid points, but for me, I still couldn't bring myself to use either of those words. :eek:
P.

[Driver 8]

So does anyone know any better words to describe non-straight people as a group?
If they do, I want to hear them. I used to use "queer" more, back when Queer Nation was active and you heard the word more in GLBT circles. "GLBT" itself is a bit of a mouthful, but "queer" never really caught on, and I think it takes more explanation that it's worth most of the time. Even among GLBT people, many folks aren't comfortable with "queer."

Years ago, "gay" used to include lesbians and bisexuals, but it gradually became more specific until it only meant "gay men." I suppose there's a need for the more specific labels, but it'd be nice if there was a comprehensive word, too.

[smokey]

I refuse to consider myself as part of the "gay" community because calling yourself gay, or queer, or fag for that matter is as much a self identifying moniker as it is anything else. I don't buy into the whole "gay" lifestyle thing at all, if fact I consider it rather shallow and silly...I will identify myself as bisexual but that is less a description of who I am than a history of my sexual life...I am a man, who is not especially masculine, but nor am I especially feminie either...sexually and relationship wise I prefer women, but enjoy men as well when I get the hankering. Do I use the word queer? Yes in reference to those lost souls who haunt the parks and bathrooms looking for anonymous sex with other men while denying the sexuality of what they are doing. In reference to myself...hell no!!! I am me. As to another name for what we are? Don't need one...Bi is enough...and for the most part that's too much.

[jasper]

I'll just note that I love the word Queer. I think it rocks. Queer theory is pretty delicious to me. I appreciate that it's not only inclusive of the general categories (GLBT), but that it's also a statement of fluidity. I think someone can be queer as an overall identity, but still act primarily het for 10 years, primarily gay for 10 years, etc. Or... get into other sexual identities that don't clearly fit any of the simple GLBT models. For example, I'm male and my partner is a dyke. She doesn't really identify as "bi", though others would say she is. But other than me she doesn't have attractions or interest in men. And in our relationship, we're both somewhat androgynous, but she leans a bit more butch and I lean a bit more femme. And any othe relationships she has are with women. SO... is she bi? Maybe, but it doesn't seem completely accurate. Is she "just" a lesbian? That doesn't seem completely accurate either. Is she "queer"? You betcha!

Also, just to note, while it doesn't have an answer to your question glantern, folks interested in this thread might also enjoy the "CHALLENGE: Other terms for Bi" thread, as both are dealing with terminology issues.

Jasper

[glantern954]

This is exactly the kind of thing I was fishing for. I see so many people that dont really fit into the individual labels that well.


SO... is she bi? Maybe, but it doesn't seem completely accurate. Is she "just" a lesbian? That doesn't seem completely accurate either. Is she "queer"? You betcha! Jasper

[glantern954]

I agree with you about the "gay" label thing, It seems so much more a cultural identitity than an actual sexual preference these days. I don't think of queer the same way though.


I refuse to consider myself as part of the "gay" community

[glantern954]

Thanks for the recommendation. I was more curious about how bisexuals as a group feel about the word. I like it because I feel included in something larger, while other appear to dislike it because they are included something larger that they don't want to be associated with.


If you are interested in those questions glantern, I have a book I can recommend. It's titled (forgive me, but it's the title) Nigger, by Randall Kennedy. It's roughly about taking the power out of negative labels. He has some valid points, but for me, I still couldn't bring myself to use either of those words. :eek:
P.

[Michael623]

The word queer carries YEARS of negative, ugly and even violent stigmatism and the bi/gay community wants to adopt it as "their" word to characterize themselves? What, hurting for labels?

[tom_uk]

queer - like the word - most of the time refer to myself as "queer as fuck", my friends think i'm queer (especially when I pinch my straight male friends arses after a few beers) …. sticks and stones etc, strength comes from what we think of ourselves not how others refer to our sexuality - kick arse xXx

tom_uk

[Michael623]

I agree Tom, but why is it necessary to label ourselves? I don't see myself as strange or odd, just lucky.

[nubiwoman]

I agree Tom, but why is it necessary to label ourselves? I don't see myself as strange or odd, just lucky.

Sometimes i quite like the label Michael.. partly because it helps me feel grounded.. and also there is definitely something about feeling less alone..

as in:- 'united we stand- divided we fall

Julie :female: :bibounce: :2cents:

[arana]

Sometimes i quite like the label Michael.. partly because it helps me feel grounded.. and also there is definitely something about feeling less alone..

as in:- 'united we stand- divided we fall

Julie :female: :bibounce: :2cents:
But why pick a word that has always been defined more for negative (strange, oddity, weird) in the first place? We may not follow the "norm" but we are not those things. When labeling a human being shouldn't it be a positive word, not a negative one that has been revamped? I came here in the first place because I was tired of being called weird.

[Michael623]

How do you get that I am not united with those of us who are bi or gay Nubiwoman. I am sorry I feel very grounded!

[glantern954]

Compare it to how african amercans use the N WORD. I think it takes some of the power and hate away from it.


But why pick a word that has always been defined more for negative (strange, oddity, weird) in the first place? We may not follow the "norm" but we are not those things. When labeling a human being shouldn't it be a positive word, not a negative one that has been revamped? I came here in the first place because I was tired of being called weird.

[Driver 8]

"Dyke" is another word that's used with pride by many lesbians - and I think for just that reason it's lost a lot of its power to hurt.

[arana]

Compare it to how african amercans use the N WORD. I think it takes some of the power and hate away from it.
You're still trying to revamp a negative word. And how many African American's would like just anyone calling them that? Queer is defined as Strange or Odd. If that's what you want to be called, then you have every right to. I have queer habits and I do queer things, but I myself am not queer. What is wrong with just being called bi-sexual? Or for that matter, just being a man or woman? How many terms do you need to describe yourself? IMHO Slang, reverse meaning, and tweaking of words has really screwed up language as a whole, and distorts communication among people who already don't see eye to eye in the first place. Words were developed for a reason. Negative words are needed as much as positive words, they give balance and impact to what you're trying to communicate. By changing them, you're making them meaningless. Words should have some power, but not be abused and misused. It's like kids with violence and sexual video game desensitization. Instead of using them properly and respectfully we just desensitize it's meaning. Soon no one will feel or care about anything, we'll just laugh it all off.
Ok, I'm off my :soapbox: Sorry for going on so much.

[Michael623]

Dyke" has lost it's meaning to whom? Are you saying that it's lost it's meaning to those that are bias against homosexuals. Therefore, they are less bias.

I don't understand why being called "queer" is even an issue. I assume the same could be said for "cocksucker", it certainly has an adverse history. Instead of taking it as an insult (i.e. hey you cocksucker), I'll smile and say "why thank you." I'll certainly refer to you as queer if that pleases you. I am really not trying to give anyone a bad time.

[glantern954]

You're still trying to revamp a negative word. And how many African American's would like just anyone calling them that?

That is why I am asking what bisexuals think of the word, not just anyone. The word queer did not originate as a negative word, it was turned into one.

Of course there is nothing wrong with just being called bisexual, but sometimes I have to speak about issues that apply to bisexuals, gays, lesbians, etc. Queer is usually the first word to come to mind.

To me queer just means different, and there is nothing negative about that. Unless you make it that way or let someone else make it that way.

I am not trying to change how you feel, just telling you how I feel. I really appreciate your input on the topic and your opinion on the use of the word.

[arana]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come off so harsh. As I said originally, it's just a word like all others. It's the people that give it life. Kind of like some of these threads. lol

[jasforjas]

There is something as powerful as hell in overcoming an old enemy - sometimes they are people - sometimes words. I think if you have never been in that space - having the experience, I can see why calling yourself queer or diesel dyke - would seem odd.

[BI BOYTOY]

well here is my two cents worth :2cents: every time i have ever heard it it was in a negative context,much like alot of others that mean the same thing, but i agree with the fact that its just a word that we are the ones that give it power to hurt or not. :bigrin: :bigrin: :bigrin: :bigrin: :bigrin:

[nubiwoman]

How do you get that I am not united with those of us who are bi or gay Nubiwoman. I am sorry I feel very grounded!

oh Michael behave!... i never said, or even suggested you weren't united or grounded...

i just said that sometimes i like labels.. they help me feel less alone and more grounded :cool:

that said.. Here in the U.K the word queer has been well and truly reclaimed by the LGBT community.. hence the universally acclaimed TV series 'Queer as Folk'
which was originally filmed on 'Canal Street' in Manchester England then reshot under the same name in an American Location with American actors for the American market..

here is a picture of my dear friend tom_uk outside one of the bars on the afforementioned 'Canal Street' last summer during Manchester Pride week..

:bigrin: Julie :flag3: :female:

[moonlitwish]

I like this word.. I have used this word to describe myself mostly because I'm proud of being different though at times it is confusing. I'm different in a lot of ways too. :eek:

[jamiehue]

Ive have said to my phobe coworkers "im here queer get over it " Bit aggressive yet to the point i believe.

[DiamondDog]

For myself queer is a positive word. I don't see it as a slur like most older people do and it is a good way to describe my sexuality.

Queer is more of a social/political/aesthetic/ethical position than a statement of personal taste or style.

It means rejecting the centrality of hetero-normative standards, refusing to accept as "natural" ANY expression of sexuality, or of gender identity. As a theory/practice, it is extremely liberating. I can think of many self-identified gay people whom I would not consider queer (including some bears: though the movement began as a liberating alternative a monolithic gay style, many bears are dismissive of and hostile to androgynous or camp/feminine men), and quite a few people who are cheifly attracted to people of the opposite sex, but whose ways of understanding and enacting gender and sexuality distinctly qualify them as queer.

[wanderingrichard]

What do you think about the word queer? I realize context has alot to do with it, but do you generally think the word is positive or negative?

guess i'm way too old school here.. i've always thot of it as it being used to do just what it was originally used for; to say that something is strange.

using it to describe a person and their demeanor, well to me it just never fit right. there's too many other words that work much better.

guess, to boil it down to the basic answer to the question, for me, it's a negative or quasi negative word.

[rockstarvomit]

I prefer it to anything else I've heard. In certain situations, it feels more appropriate for different reasons. I like to use it for myself in LGBT community situations and depending on the person, coming out. It can soften the blow for some people because its less intense that 'bisexual.' That's just the experience I've had so far.

[Long Duck Dong]

mmmmm i just shrug it off... its a word........

i don't mean to downplay what others are saying but...to me words only hurt or offend if we allow them to offend us.....

if somebody calls me a wanker.... they are right...i wank.....and if they mean it to be offensive.... cool.... they are being offensive and I am ignoring it

i do remember a issue over a term i used in the forum, which was coloured people..as opposed to people of colour......a simple difference in the wording started a lot of issues.....and it was started cos somebody took offense to the wording....but the wording was not offensive or meant to be offensive....

the true power, comes, not what what i call myself or what others call me.....but from the way we share the love

[AngelOfTheMystic]

it's not a word that I would like to be called, but hey I also look at it like this...why let a word upset me. It's just a word. Even though words can hurt a lot sometimes that's why people have a tendecy to use that fact and that's why they will call people names. So I just take it with a grain of salt as they say because I am proud to be who I am!

[Avocado]

I've seen quite a few posts comparing straight and non-straight people using the word. Do all straight people say queer as a derogatory term? Is there anything wrong with straight people using it to mean not straight? Surely the more straight people accept that we're just as queer as gays the better.

[Azrael]

I have a tendency to refer to myself as queer, even though I have a girlfriend. Or, being that I'm bi, Queer Lite. Tastes great, less filling.
Seriously though, It's generally used in a spiteful negative context by heterosexuals. It can wound the shit out of me to be called a queer, or I can be fine with it. It all depends on the tone. I just think of it as one who deviates in some way, doesn't have to be sexual necessarily.

[LoveLion]

From what I know of the word, it is not a derogatory word and is one that most GLBT use and dont mind (its "our word"). Personally, however, I dont really like the word. Queer originally means Weird or abnormal, and I dont really like to think of my self as abnormal just because of my sexual preference. Ok, maybe I am abnormal, but its not because of my bisexuality.

It could be because while I was younger, my best friend's older brother would use the word queer to insult me and make fun of me. He did it all in fun, but was a bit of a bully. I didnt know what the word even meant, but it must have been programed in my mind as a derogatory word, because when ever I hear it I feel like I am being insulted, although I am probably not.

[twodelta]

I prefer it to anything else I've heard. In certain situations, it feels more appropriate for different reasons. I like to use it for myself in LGBT community situations and depending on the person, coming out. It can soften the blow for some people because its less intense that 'bisexual.' That's just the experience I've had so far.

I agree with this statement. I'd much rather be called either Bi or Queer. To me, the word Bisexual puts too much importance on the sexual side. After all, I'm much more than a mere sex object :eek: Sincerely, Bi/Queer Dave :bigrin:

[twodelta]

And besides, Queer is much more pleasant than Fag

[but that's my name!!]

So does anyone know any better words to describe non-straight people as a group?
Why would you want to?
Would you try to group straights and gays together and give them a name?
Not me.
I hate the term queer... when it's directed at me, but then I also hate being called gay or straight or even ocasionaly "OI FAGGOT, CUT YER HAIR", because I'm not, I'm bi and that's that. :flag3:

Though I did like Queer as Folk; it was a good series. Series 2 was disapointing though.
Oh by the way, if anyone knows what the date was when they showed the episode after the one with the party I'd love to know coz that was the same night I had my first "proper" same sex fuck, which was good :bigrin: .

[darkeyes]

From what I know of the word, it is not a derogatory word and is one that most GLBT use and dont mind (its "our word"). Personally, however, I dont really like the word. Queer originally means Weird or abnormal, and I dont really like to think of my self as abnormal just because of my sexual preference. Ok, maybe I am abnormal, but its not because of my bisexuality.

It could be because while I was younger, my best friend's older brother would use the word queer to insult me and make fun of me. He did it all in fun, but was a bit of a bully. I didnt know what the word even meant, but it must have been programed in my mind as a derogatory word, because when ever I hear it I feel like I am being insulted, although I am probably not.

If me uses the word "queer" is usually 2 do wiv wether me feelin ill, often self inlicted at weekends. Hates the word wen used disparagingly 2 gays or bi guys. Knows they use it themselves but sumhow jus seems so demeaning an it sets me hackles up. Wen it cums 2 describin women, tho wile me hates 2 b called a dyke by the general community, me m8s an otha bi an lezzie women me knows use it a lot but usually wen foolin around an havin a giggle. Wer me cums from a dyke is a wall an hopes me not that!

Am happy 2 b described as I am. Bi or bisexual, tho even that a misnomer cos bisexual taken literally shud mean 2 sexed. An for gods sakes me not that! But its our word, an the world know wot it means an its the least insultin word me can think of.

[but that's my name!!]

If me uses the word "queer" is usually 2 do wiv wether me feelin ill, often self inlicted at weekends. Hates the word wen used disparagingly 2 gays or bi guys. Knows they use it themselves but sumhow jus seems so demeaning an it sets me hackles up. Wen it cums 2 describin women, tho wile me hates 2 b called a dyke by the general community, me m8s an otha bi an lezzie women me knows use it a lot but usually wen foolin around an havin a giggle. Wer me cums from a dyke is a wall an hopes me not that!

Am happy 2 b described as I am. Bi or bisexual, tho even that a misnomer cos bisexual taken literally shud mean 2 sexed. An for gods sakes me not that! But its our word, an the world know wot it means an its the least insultin word me can think of.
:bibounce: Bravo :bibounce: :flag3:

[Avocado]

Why would you want to?
Would you try to group straights and gays together and give them a name?
Not me.
I hate the term queer... when it's directed at me, but then I also hate being called gay or straight or even ocasionaly "OI FAGGOT, CUT YER HAIR", because I'm not, I'm bi and that's that. :flag3:

Though I did like Queer as Folk; it was a good series. Series 2 was disapointing though.
Oh by the way, if anyone knows what the date was when they showed the episode after the one with the party I'd love to know coz that was the same night I had my first "proper" same sex fuck, which was good :bigrin: .

Why would we want to group ourselves in with gays? Because we are grouped in with them whether we like it or not. As much as many of them would like us to not be, it's important to resist their straight or gay outlook. "Just because I'm not gay I'm still queer". The implications for LGBT rights of not being grouped in are severe. And there is a term for straights and gays monosexuals, a term I came across on this board funnily enough.

[darkeyes]

Why would we want to group ourselves in with gays? Because we are grouped in with them whether we like it or not. As much as many of them would like us to not be, it's important to resist their straight or gay outlook. "Just because I'm not gay I'm still queer". The implications for LGBT rights of not being grouped in are severe. And there is a term for straights and gays monosexuals, a term I came across on this board funnily enough.

An ur rite there me yummie pear! An its more..tho many gays an lezzies don like us much an call us god knows all sortsa less than nice names (hoor bein their fave here (tho it don stop em tryin 2 lay us wiv gay, k crappie pun, abandon)) in the end we hav more in common wiv them than not, both communities fitin for recognition an in many places survival. Fact that so many gays don like us 2 much weakens us, fact that sum of us don like 2 b linked wiv them duz also. If the gay an b communities r 2 truly continue makin advances its through unity not by name callin an shunnin each otha! Me tries 2 build bridges wiv gays an lezzies, not knock em down, even tho sum times its like drawin teeth!

[izzfan]

Well, I definately think that my impression of the word strongly depends on who uses it. I mean I have referred to myself as 'queer' on various occasions and I see no negativity with BTGL people using the term to describe themselves, as several posts have said, the term has been 'reclaimed'. However if a straight person used it in a disdainful way then that still would be pretty offensive. As Danny J points out earlier in the thread, it's like the word n****r, if a black person uses it then that isn't particularly offensive because they have 'reclaimed' the term but if a white person uses it then it is quite rightfully considered to be highly offensive, again this is to do with the history of the word being used by one group as a derogatory term for another group [the same idea applies to straight people using the word 'queer' when referring to BTGL people].

Just my :2cents:

Izzfan :flag3:

[tom_uk]

DiamondDog – Thanks for reviving this post xXx

I’ve been mulling over the label issue for a few months now (I’m a slow thinker)

The terms Gay, Straight, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender are terms that, whether we like it or not, are labels that cover sexual orientation in general, but mainly sexual activity. However, sexual orientation is only a small part of all our lives (although is has profound effects on our “self”) and alas, sexual activity even less.

I thought it would be better to have more descriptive personality labels. Introvert, extrovert, aggressive, passive, heart of gold ect but the point of labels is to categorise people, or things, into groups. Sexual orientation does give a good general classification of personality type (I know we are all different – but all the same) so I ended back at Queer. And really Queer is “odd” and for bisexual and homosexual men it is a bit odd (unusual) to enjoy sticking your penis into a rectum or visa versa, or sucking on a nice hard cock or ………….

Sorry where was I? Oh yes, so I like the word Queer and Gay and Bottom bandit and ----- whatever, they are just sexual orientation labels. But sometimes I just want to scream – LOOK ITS ME – KIND, CARING, AFFECTIONATE, A COMPLEX PERSON FULL OF HOPES AND FEARS, and DESIRES AND NEEDS. PLEASE EXCEPT ME FOR BEING JUST ME. DON’T LOOK AT THE WRAPPER TAKE A CHANCE AND SEE WHATS INSIDE or Yep fancy a shag?

Tom_uk

[someotherguy]

We need the term queers to differentiate us from steers, according to the jokes I've heard. It's important, I think, when pondering the ramifications of particular words and phrases to account their contribution to popular culture.

[jenny2006]

I quite like the word queer, it just has such a nice sound to it.

But I think it's like any word, it depends on how you use it. If someone uses the word queer or anything like it without meaning to be offensive, then who cares? It's just a word. I think it's only when it's actually meant as an insult that there's any problem with it.

[krrptyc]

My brother was gay and would often point out other gays to me by stating "he's a queer." Unless the "queer" was very feminine, then he was a “flaming faggot.” I guess because my brother used “queer” without malice, I think of it as not derogatory and similar to the early 70s’ when many of us with long hair called each other “freaks.” Which got me to thinking, why don’t Bi people have a cutesy term for each other? Unlike “gays” and “lesbians” there would be no need to differentiate between men and women because we go either way.

I know! We could call each other “Beers.” Then we could all snicker when some macho homophobe says “I’m going out for beers with the boys.” ;) Or, we can get a silly grin on our face when we say “I’m going out for a beer.” :bigrin:

[tom_uk]

“I’m going out for beers with the boys.” :bigrin:

make mine a large one please

[but that's my name!!]

Quote:
Avacado
Why would we want to group ourselves in with gays? Because we are grouped in with them whether we like it or not. As much as many of them would like us to not be, it's important to resist their straight or gay outlook. "Just because I'm not gay I'm still queer". The implications for LGBT rights of not being grouped in are severe. And there is a term for straights and gays monosexuals, a term I came across on this board funnily enough.


Quote:
darkeyes
An ur rite there me yummie pear! An its more..tho many gays an lezzies don like us much an call us god knows all sortsa less than nice names (hoor bein their fave here (tho it don stop em tryin 2 lay us wiv gay, k crappie pun, abandon)) in the end we hav more in common wiv them than not, both communities fitin for recognition an in many places survival. Fact that so many gays don like us 2 much weakens us, fact that sum of us don like 2 b linked wiv them duz also. If the gay an b communities r 2 truly continue makin advances its through unity not by name callin an shunnin each otha! Me tries 2 build bridges wiv gays an lezzies, not knock em down, even tho sum times its like drawin teeth!


darkeyes you seem lovely but you make my brain melt :)

'Tis very hard sometimes for me not to actuly hate the "monosexuals" (thanks for that, ok it's a useful word) because of the harm they've done me, but I don't.
I only "knock em down" in my own defence.

I agree with you, there is strength in numbers and to win this war we need our allies but something I see is that we bis are fighting in the trenches alongside the gays/les. and okay we do benefit from it, but we are still hidden, and we are not welcome. We are generally not wanted by those who know we're here and those who don't don't want to believe. We're tagging along for the ride and are happy with the scraps. okay this goes on but it's getting depressing so I'll stop. :2cents:

Regarding my original comment; I was wrong about the group names bit.

I hadn't meant anything in a political way, just how I feel about the use of language. :)

But I still believe this: I hate the term queer... when it's directed at me, but then I also hate being called gay or straight or even ocasionaly "OI FAGGOT, CUT YER HAIR", because I'm not, I'm bi and that's that.

If you think I'm wrong please, reply. :) :) :flag2:

[Fresia]

Bump dedump ump!

[Randypan]

When I was in Junior High, Many many years ago, there were a number of my classmates (Bullies) that call me queer whenever they had the opportunity. I never did anything to engender these comments however. I decided to look the word up in the dictionary and the 1st definition was "Odd, Strange or unusual". After that, whenever it happened, I'd say Thank you, explain why I said that and continue on my way. The comments stopped after the first few times. Unfortunately, this pissed off a couple of them at which time their abuse became physical.

[Annika L]

I tend to like the word "queer", as an LGBT+ catchall. Now and again when I use it I get horrified looks from straight people ("oh! don't ever take on that kind of shit from society!"). I'm like hey, calm down...I *am* queer and I have no shame whatsoever about that fact. Hell, in most cases, I'm even queer among queer people!

[charles-smythe]

What do you think about the word queer? I realize context has alot to do with it, but do you generally think the word is positive or negative?...its a negative word & meant to be offensive...that said I could care less if someone...as long as they didn't mind if I kicked their ass...by the time I was 21 & weighted over 200 lbs...& my karate teacher taught 'street' karate...not do jo karate...that meant if you couldn't do it in a bar it wasn't worth a damn...I was a marital artist for over 15 years...my specialty was multiple sparing...at 50 I could whip 3 25 year olds in a bar...

[tenni]

I'm not one that likes that word. I think many men of a certain age have very negative views and emotions about the use of the word. I wonder if those who align closer to the GLBT organizations an immersed more into the political reclaiming philosophy have adopted it as a good word while the mainstream still uses queer in a negative manner. Odd now, that is different as someone posted..lol What are you queer? was a common put down regardless of the person's sexuality.

[jem_is_bi]

...its a negative word & meant to be offensive...that said I could care less if someone...as long as they didn't mind if I kicked their ass...by the time I was 21 & weighted over 200 lbs...& my karate teacher taught 'street' karate...not do jo karate...that meant if you couldn't do it in a bar it wasn't worth a damn...I was a marital artist for over 15 years...my specialty was multiple sparing...at 50 I could whip 3 25 year olds in a bar... Ouch!! that is much less appealing than all your sexual adventures.

[charles-smythe]

Ouch!! that is much less appealing than all your sexual adventures....I was 5 foot 4 when I went in to the 11 grade...needless to say I was bullied by everyone...when I started growing all that changed...I graduated at 6' 2" & no one messed with me anymore...everyone who'd bullied me had to face me when I was the one bigger...I ick a lot of ass during those 2 years...when I was in the 7 grade they put about 6 or 8 of us in a 9 grade Phy Ed class...do you have any idea the hell 60 or 70 9th graders can put a few 7 through?...in the 10 grade they put me in a 12 grade Phy Ed class...we were playing baseball & it was my turn to bat...this big bastard decided I wasn't good enough so he was going to bat in my place...he physically took the bat away from me...as he took his place in the batters box...I decided I wasn't going to be bullied for another year...I picked up another bat & hit him up side the head...he dropped like a rock...I stepped over his body & took my place in the batters box...I hit a standing double...driving in the runners from both 2 and 3...as the ran home they just hopped over his body like he wasn't there...he didn't wake up until time to go in for showers...his head felt funny so he told the coach that he ran into the backstop...he spent nearly a week in the hospital with a concussion...no one bullied me after that....