Is there anyone out there for me

[Flounder1967]

I've tried everything from BP to craigslist and some yahoo groups. I am unable to find a connection. I know that I'm very private and shy in the begining. I don't like giving out info in CL or in Yahoo groups, but there has to be away to meet someone. I'm not going out to clubs. I'm not someone anyone would just come up to. I look like a BA biker walk with a cane so I'm slightly handicaped. I'm a real catch. But there has to be away to meet people make a connection and than see what happens, and be in an area where they will, or I, will trvael to. What is it about me that people just don't like.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Well if they cant see what the rest of us see, and know about you then its their loss, Hon. I'm betting they see a very sweet man who emits a shyish aura when you are out looking, but they dont take time to know the man underneath, and that's their dilemma not yours. One'll come along one of these days sweetie. You could always join a yahoo group for Bikers and meet friends that could in turn, someday turn into a lover, ya never know.
You just take care of you and Mrs Flounder, and let it happen when it does.
Big hugs to ya Sugar.;):cool:
Cat

[Falling Leaves]

I've tried everything from BP to craigslist and some yahoo groups. I am unable to find a connection. I know that I'm very private and shy in the begining. I don't like giving out info in CL or in Yahoo groups, but there has to be away to meet someone. I'm not going out to clubs. I'm not someone anyone would just come up to. I look like a BA biker walk with a cane so I'm slightly handicaped. I'm a real catch. But there has to be away to meet people make a connection and than see what happens, and be in an area where they will, or I, will trvael to. What is it about me that people just don't like.

You are never alone......some of us out here feel the same way you do.

[TaylorMade]

I know that feeling. Sometimes you have to take drastic measures to handle them. Good luck.

*Taylor*

[MarieDelta]

Some ideas-

Try OKCupid, somefolks have been known to have good luck there.

Get involved with an activity where you will meet people you will be atracted to. Doesnt have to be physical - art class or cooking class might work. Or something else might work as well, be creative.

Smile and greet people as you go about your daily life. If someone sees you aproaching with a frown or an angry glare they are less likely to interact with you.

This is above all a numbers game, the more people you meet the more chance you have of finding the person (or persons) that you can fall in love with.

[12voltman59]

Flounder---I am assuming that you mean you are wondering how to find a cool guy to have some sort of relationship with?? It seems that you have a good relationship with Mrs F that I hope is going well.


I don't know what to tell ya when it comes to hooking up with a compatible guy---it does seem that for the most part---the sites where guys hook up--most guys are only looking for brief encounters just to get themselves off and aren't really interested in much beyond that.

I guess it is one of those things, just like in finding a compatible person of the same gender to be with--it just takes time, luck and patience and as much as anything--"being in the right place at the right time" or something along those lines.

In whatever way that you are framing your desire to find someone--from what I gather about you on here---you are a neat guy, a caring person and such---and in time----you will find someone who you get along with, you care for and appreciate each other.

Good luck, buddy. I hope ya find what you are looking for sooner than later, the same goes to everyone else reading this if that is what you seek.

[Falling Leaves]

Have done, and do...all of the above.

I have checked every site that has been suggested here. The only problem is that you can join for "free" but the majority of them you have to pay a monthly fee to be able to view profiles, or to contact persons of interest. Any more suggestions on truly "free" sites would be most welcome. THANKS

[csreef]

I think my best advice to would be just to get out there and try to find someone...

Do you know any Bi or Gay friends that you could network with, in trying to find someone. :2cents:

Good luck,
A

[Flounder1967]

I think my best advice to would be just to get out there and try to find someone...

Do you know any Bi or Gay friends that you could network with, in trying to find someone. :2cents:

Good luck,
A

I have a couple of gay friends and I don't want to put them in a position where they know I'm looking. Maybe I'll talk to them some more. My two gay friends are lovers to each other and in a commited relationship with each other.

[Flounder1967]

Some ideas-

Try OKCupid, somefolks have been known to have good luck there.

Get involved with an activity where you will meet people you will be atracted to. Doesnt have to be physical - art class or cooking class might work. Or something else might work as well, be creative.

Smile and greet people as you go about your daily life. If someone sees you aproaching with a frown or an angry glare they are less likely to interact with you.

This is above all a numbers game, the more people you meet the more chance you have of finding the person (or persons) that you can fall in love with.

I havet hought of that but OKCupid is more of a public site and I keep my sexuality to my self. BP well the name of the site says enough. I know my sexuality is "safe" there.

[Flounder1967]

I know that feeling. Sometimes you have to take drastic measures to handle them. Good luck.

*Taylor*

What do you mean "drastic measures". I have an idea, nut you kinow my elevator dosen't go to the top floor any more.

Sometimes i just want it, but i don't want the used feeling anymore.

[Flounder1967]

Well if they cant see what the rest of us see, and know about you then its their loss, Hon. I'm betting they see a very sweet man who emits a shyish aura when you are out looking, but they dont take time to know the man underneath, and that's their dilemma not yours. One'll come along one of these days sweetie. You could always join a yahoo group for Bikers and meet friends that could in turn, someday turn into a lover, ya never know.
You just take care of you and Mrs Flounder, and let it happen when it does.
Big hugs to ya Sugar.;):cool:
Cat

I start talking to people but I just don't know how to close the deal. I'm always missing something that i just don't see or catch on too.

[the sacred night]

It's not that they don't like you, it's just like you said, you're shy and private. I'm the same, an attractive in-shape 23 year old woman who can't get a date because I'm shy. I'd suggest joining groups or going to functions in your area that match your interests. I'm part of a swing dance group and a writers' group. That way you can meet people with common interests and if it goes in a sexual direction, so be it.

[Realist]

Hey, nice bike, by the way! I've ridden most of my life and only recently sold my old Beemer. I do miss it, though.

I think the advice above is about as good as anyone can give you. Most of my relationships began when I least expected it and, often it started with those I'd known for years. I don't have very good gay/bidar so I'm more often surprised, than not, when someone lets it be known they're interested.

I do understand your desires; it's like a hole in your heart, isn't it? I hope you meet someone who will fill your needs, soon.

[Flounder1967]

Hey, nice bike, by the way! I've ridden most of my life and only recently sold my old Beemer. I do miss it, though.

I think the advice above is about as good as anyone can give you. Most of my relationships began when I least expected it and, often it started with those I'd known for years. I don't have very good gay/bidar so I'm more often surprised, than not, when someone lets it be known they're interested.

I do understand your desires; it's like a hole in your heart, isn't it? I hope you meet someone who will fill your needs, soon.

I do belong to groups, but most if not all really, really, frown on gay or even bi issues. Such as ABATE (A Brotherhood Aimed Toward Education) motorcycle rights group, and the NRA. I'm no conserveritive I just like my rights. But I can't dance, sketch, sit, or stand. Tha dosen't leave much to do (besides drink, thats another story). Gay.com isn't for me either It's just really frustrating.

[MarieDelta]

I do belong to groups, but most if not all really, really, frown on gay or even bi issues. Such as ABATE (A Brotherhood Aimed Toward Education) motorcycle rights group, and the NRA. I'm no conserveritive I just like my rights. But I can't dance, sketch, sit, or stand. Tha dosen't leave much to do (besides drink, thats another story). Gay.com isn't for me either It's just really frustrating.

OK so what are you looking for?

What about going to the local glbt center? or perhaps pflag -one doesnt have to be "gay" to go to pflag, just be a "friend" to one. Plus like many support groups anything you say there is held in confidence.

And all you have to do is talk and be friendly...

[citystyleguy]

...okay, finding myself faced with much the same scenario, i have found all my ltr's not even trying. they just walked into my life, and things just grew from there.

my most ardent bit of advice would be to stop thinking so low of yourself; carrying that kind of burden shows when not even aware of the fact, and when encountering others they will most definitely pick up on the low self-esteem.

you will find your best luck doing the things that you like doing the most; just keep your head up, look everyone in the eye, and always go for the comic side of things, i.e. if you mess up, laugh it off, and forge ahead!

know that you can overcome anything; know that everyone here is on your side, you've got a whole website of souls rooting for you! :)

[ricocourious]

You just need a little more confidence in yourselld. Your a good looking If I lived closer to you I'd be checking you out. You just need to take the bull by the horns and go for it... Hell what have you got to lose?

[onewhocares]

Smile and greet people as you go about your daily life. If someone sees you aproaching with a frown or an angry glare they are less likely to interact with you.


I agree Marie. I would also like to add that SELF CONFIDENCE is such an attractor of people. Believe me I know. I never ever thought that anyone would be attracted to at really tall chubby blonde but when I, that is right I began to believe in myself and put myself out there, no matter where it was be it the Home Depot, the dentist office, the local coffee shop, people responded. I am not always saying in a sexual way mind you, but in just being receptive and welcoming to this mamoth that was before them. Then when I put an ad on Craig's List looking for a man...holy cow I never EVER imagined that there were that many people looking for a friend.

So I guess my thoughts are...toss away the self doubt, get yourself groomed and smelling nice, and open your mind and your heart and I am sure there is a man out there for you.

Belle

[TaylorMade]

What do you mean "drastic measures". I have an idea, nut you kinow my elevator dosen't go to the top floor any more.

Sometimes i just want it, but i don't want the used feeling anymore.

Not letting geography bind you. Maybe that's not the risk you need to take, but at least contemplate it.

*Taylor*

[Samantha Sabrina]

Hey Sweetie,

Here is my experience, (just so you know you are not alone).

As a guy I can or always have been able to get women left and right, (not bragging here folks, just the facts, lol), but as Samantha I am finding that trying to get a guy is ummmmmmmm, IMPOSSIBLE.

I know it is not my looks, I am very passable, and I get compliments on how I look everyday, always have women comment on my nails, have guys do a double take trying to get another look at my legs in the stores, have guys open doors for me, blah blah blah.

But when it comes to the serious stuff, (yea we are talking sex here), it seems impossible, I have been searching for 3.5 years now, and in all that time I have managed to get like 5 or 6 hit and runs, and those were all this time last year, go figure.

So ya see it is not just you sweetie, we all have the same problem.

Yea guys will talk up a storm on the net, promise me the world, and everything else but all they want is a cyber nut, or to collect a bunch of my pictures to yank their puds to.

As a guy I never in a million years would have guessed what women go through with men, but now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you figure out the secret hun, PLEASE share it with me, smiles.

Best of luck in your search.

Hugggggggggs

Samantha