I was wondering......

[WntsAdvntr]

Why is that so many up-until-then straight 50 to 60-something year old men start to explore bisexuality?

Is it because they have mellowed enough to accept alternatives in behavior?
Or because they still have strong libidos and cannot find female partners? Or because they were otherwise always closeted something or others?

All I know is, that what would have been anathema to me a few years ago, now seems like a real sweet ride.

Any ideas?

[IndyBiFun]

For myself, it was a matter of denial. My "little inner voice" began questioning my sexuality in my late 20's. I can remember the exact moment this happened. I won't bore you with the story.

Unfortunately, I didn't stop to listen. I kept saying "no way" and denied the growing feelings. That voice eventually got so loud that I finally HAD to listen. This was in my 30's.

Although I am closeted I didn't fully accept my sexuality until my 40's. Now, I wish I had heard that little voice when it first began talking.

So I guess I am a late bloomer but better late than never. Right?

[fredtyg]

I think Indy is pretty much in there. We tend to be closeted- especially from the societal pressures of the old days- and often in denial. As we get older and bi and homosexuality becomes more acceptable, we come to accept it, as well.

I finally accepted my bi/ homosexuality in my mid 30s, although I'd had periods where I fagged off a lot when I was younger. After one particular encounter I realized I really enjoyed sex with men, although I don't know that I put a name on it at the time. Maybe there's more honest self- realization that comes with age, too?

Added to that, I think, is the "mid- life crisis" most of us experience. When I got into my mid to late 40s and realized time was slipping away, I wanted to make up for lost time. Sex with men was one thing I wished I'd had a lot more of in my life so I've put a lot more energy into being an active bi, if not homo, sexual.

[biblkman]

To me its a matter of denial.....I denied my bisexuality until I was 31 and had been sexually attracted to men since I was a kid. It took a lot to accept who I realy am. Some older men have just denied who they are sexually longer, and they get to a point were they are tired of lying to themselves.

[1tgtass]

I always had a strong sex drive. I had encounters with my cousins and some friends as young as ten. Little at the time i had no idea what homosexuality was. I even played with one of my sisters. Then the two girls who lived next door were playmates too at around 12. I started masturbating as soon as i had my first hardon. My buddy next door, same age helped explore this new activity. Then with the help of my dads penthouse and playboy got a real education. good christain upbringing homosexuality was a sin. But, for some reason always wanted to fondle the boys. Even after i was having sex with my girl friends always wondered what it would be like to suck another guys cock. After all the girls liked it and I loved them doing it. Now that bi and homosexuality isnt the taboo it use to be I am more comfortable with my desires and fantasy about other guys. One thing i never liked was when a woman especially the wife would use sex as a weapon. Wasnt going to stop me. The womwn seem to lose interest in sexafter a while and become more carreer minded. we guys by this time are usually established by now and have more time for such things. I really am going on to long here. Oh yes, im not from west VA.

[XYZ Man]

I feel it a combination of being a good little boy all or most of your married life. Now all of the women you know and can hit on she also knows. So much for that. Then she reaches the point where she says "I don't want to do that any more." Now what? You don't know any free women, she won't do "that", so you turn to what is left - - guys.

[fredtyg]

I can remember the exact moment this happened. I won't bore you with the story.


I'd actually be more than interested in hearing the story. If you don't feel like posting it here, how about sending me a private e-mail. Or, start a new thread where we can all tell when it was we realized we are happy bisexuals or at least that we were bisexual. I'd be more than happy to tell mine, although I might have posted it somewhere in one of these threads before.

Have we had a thread yet on moments of "realization"?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

This topic was brought up not long back babe, but I cant remember the name of it...
Cat

[shaftmngr]

As a young boy and teenager I enjoyed playing with other boys hard cocks but never sucked any. At the time, 50's and 60's, being called a queer could be quite devastating to a young man so I followed the rule of the day. I admitted to my wife some 10 to 15 years ago that I wanted to suck a dick, preferably with her in a mmf. She wasn't comfortable with the idea. So, in the past few years I gave in to my desires and have a suck buddy that she doesn't know about. I still prefer pussy but need an occasional taste of cock.

[citystyleguy]

This topic was brought up not long back babe, but I cant remember the name of it...
Cat

yea! same here, cat?! ...and also drawing a blank on the thread title; went looking but didnt find the thread. anyone else remember the topic line?!

[goldenfinger]

yea! same here, cat?! ...and also drawing a blank on the thread title; went looking but didnt find the thread. anyone else remember the topic line?!
On page 2
http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9691

Read somewhere that women between 15 and 40 was more likely to have a same sex experience then men, but after 40, men was more likely to have a same sex experience. Of cause, by 40, women have already done it.

[ErosUrge]

Being bi all my life and admittedly so in my youth, then freaking out about it later and denying to myself and others (which then caused complications), and then finally arriving and accepting it like others did here in my 40's, it has made all the difference. Though throughout all my life I have enjoyed the sensual qualities of my experiences, opening up to myself and others about my sexuality finally brought a peace and confidence that I didn't enjoy in my youth. And too bad as the quality of my experiences then would have multiplied. Even though I lived a great many years in denial doesn't mean the quality of experiences weren't great then. My focus for a great many years was always with the women in my life and the majority of my experiences with women were always incredibly sensual and beautiful. Though I was having experiences with males still during those years too, I was always fighting myself about it then. I just wasn't as relaxed about it and in great turmoil for far too long. No doubt there would have been greater joy had I accepted it. But all did finally change in my 40's as I came to terms with my sexuality and it has continued up to the present. I often run into men who are older and for the first time they are exploring with men either because it is something latent that they chose for whatever reasons not to explore in their youth and now have decided to. For me it is somewhat a mystery since this is how I've lived all my life, but for whatever reason they have at this late point in their lives, as long as they are enjoying themselves then good for them regardless of the reason for it as long as they are at peace with it.

[Conran]

I also think it's there in most already, they just have more dedication to their image and are more concerned about what others might think.
I firmly believe that most are naturally bisexual, and that 100% heterosexual or homosexual are actually the minority.

I wrote about this in "Seven Pints - Self-Identified Heterosexual Men and the Male/Male Masturbation Fetish."

Things are definitely changing though. The data I give in Seven Pints suggests that younger men are more open to male/male masturbation as an experience rather than a just a fantasy.
Most accept that sexuality is far more diverse than the three labels, even if they don't publicly follow their opinions.
They don't seem to recognize that other men think the same, and so they don't have experiences and share their desires openly.

It shows that social restrictions and self-imposed sexual labels are self-enforcing in society. The only reason they exist is because too many men (and women) are too scared of the opinions of others and what a sexual act implies.

Basically, many men who call themselves straight want to enjoy sexual activity with other men, they just think they're weird or that they'll be called gay.

[Wolf_Sr]

For myself, it was a matter of denial. My "little inner voice" began questioning my sexuality in my late 20's. I can remember the exact moment this happened. I won't bore you with the story.

Unfortunately, I didn't stop to listen. I kept saying "no way" and denied the growing feelings. That voice eventually got so loud that I finally HAD to listen.

hummm the voice started speaking louder to me in my 40's and is becoming louder and louder now that I am in the 50's. I need to listen, I need to listen... so many of us do need to listen.
Hugs

[Warren63]

When I was a young teenager I played around with a couple friends.Had a cock in my mouth twice but never finished.One buddy had a beautiful cock. I always regret not sucking him off. Then I moved to another town and discovered girls, and they discovered me. But when I masturbated I Still thought about my buddys cock often, just never got lucky enough to meet anyone who I could try it with. After years of marriage ,I started using guys in sex talk to get my wife off. It worked really well and I got to thinking of it often. She knows I want suck and I want to have a cock cum in my ass. Hopefully it will happen soon.

[KDaddy23]

Why is that so many up-until-then straight 50 to 60-something year old men start to explore bisexuality?

Is it because they have mellowed enough to accept alternatives in behavior?
Or because they still have strong libidos and cannot find female partners? Or because they were otherwise always closeted something or others?

All I know is, that what would have been anathema to me a few years ago, now seems like a real sweet ride.

Any ideas?

It can be "all of the above." I've thought that even when a guy feels the pull early on in his life, that whole "this is what men do" thing is at the front of the line and shoves the attraction to the back of the line - then things seem to come together where the desire comes back to the front of the line. Sometimes, it's libido - powerful, ultra-strong, and even with female partners, eh, it's not enough and more has to be had. Some guys go along, no thoughts or feelings about playing with a dick and then - boom! - playing with a dick shows up "out of nowhere" and now they're trying to figure out where this urge came from. I know guys who've always said they'd never do anything like this - then they're doing it. And no one really seems to know why some guys are just late to the party.

[fredward]

I had a mix of straight and gay fantasies when I was a teen, but mostly straight. I didn't have my first same sex physical experience until I was almost 50 tho. For me, the turning point was the realization that I was playing the back nine now, and maybe it was OK to explore those things I had only thought of before I died.

[imariver]

TRUE STORY;

Back in the day, I hooked up with a guy that was at least twice my age. He put it to me, (no pun intended) like this . . . .

"I've always thought about having sex with another guy, after being propositioned in college. I was too shocked, at the time to accept, but as the years went by, I began to think about it more and more. Now I can't get it out of my mind and if I don't do it, I'll keep on regretting it and it'll end up driving me crazy."

My wife and I had a very satisfying relationship with him for a couple of years, until he was involve in a very serious car accident, which he never recovered from. The very last e-mail I received from him, all it said was . . . . THANK YOU

[zbi73]

For myself, it was a matter of denial. My "little inner voice" began questioning my sexuality in my late 20's. I can remember the exact moment this happened. I won't bore you with the story.

Unfortunately, I didn't stop to listen. I kept saying "no way" and denied the growing feelings. That voice eventually got so loud that I finally HAD to listen. This was in my 30's.

Although I am closeted I didn't fully accept my sexuality until my 40's. Now, I wish I had heard that little voice when it first began talking.

So I guess I am a late bloomer but better late than never. Right?

Pretty much this. Times have changed and in many places bisexual or gay is no longer seen as the condemnation it used to be but it still has a long way to go. Perhaps religion has lost some of it's grip on society allowing more freedom to explore. I would've continued to suppress and ignore as I have most of my life had it not been for one single moment. I call that my catalyst, a feeling that was too strong I could not ignore. Nature always wins in the end, it's just some of us put up quite a fight so it takes longer but I for one are happy that I accepted who I always been. It's quite draining and takes far more energy and time to fight it than it does to accept.

[john441963]

I had a mix of straight and gay fantasies when I was a teen, but mostly straight. I didn't have my first same sex physical experience until I was almost 50 tho. For me, the turning point was the realization that I was playing the back nine now, and maybe it was OK to explore those things I had only thought of before I died.

I too, had dreams in my late 20's about m2m sex. I worked with a gay man and started having dreams about him. Then i had several gay guys hit on me. They said their "gaydar" was going off about me. I just shugged it off. Then in my 30's, the desire /curiousity started. I was married with children and had this desire. My wife started to loose interest in sex, the desire grew more. Finally after a move across country, i started to explore. In the summer of 2000 i was 37 and sucked my first cock. Afterwards i realized i still enjoyed women but men were just something else i enjoyed. At 56 y.o. i consider myself a closeted bisexual. Scratch the itch a few times a year.
As far as later in life realization, ive read testosterone decreases and estrogen may rise as men age. This could be why some guys desire changes.

[cleves]

I just started sucking cock in my late sixties. My wife teases and denies my orgasms, so I am horny 24 hours a day. Once I started sucking cock, I just could not get enough of it.