Gay Orgasm more Satisfactory

[jasa75]

Hello I'm new here but as far as I can see on the web this is the best site for bisexuals.

I am going through a bit of a rough time at the moment. Let me start. I am 35 married with a 3 1/2 year old son. I have always been aware of my bi side and it has been difficult for me to accept I guess. I was always unsure with girls and quite shi as a young man. I had a couple of same sex experiences as a young men but couldn't really enjoy them because I think I was too scared. I was always interested in girls and had alot of crushes, never with boys. I Eventually Igot into girls and though wow this is great i'm not Gay. I then went a bit girl crazy and really enjoyed sex. The same sex attract has always been there in my fantasy life but has ebbed and flowed. Stangely when i'm depressed my Hetro side deminshes and vice versa when i'm feeling good. I got together with my then girl friend 7 1/2 years ago I told her that I was bi/confused about my sexuality ( she is supportive to me but I think she doesn't really believe I'm bi because I am a bit of a sex maniac and am always checking girls and want sex all the time).

I have recently been going through a period (again of questioning my sexuality) what I have discovered is that my feelings after orgasm are different when I fantasise about having sex with a man or woman. With a man it is a lot more gentle feeling (more difficult to get hard) my whole body feels relaxed and I get a nice warm after effect and feel quite happy. When I fantasis about a woman it is a much stronger feeling in terms of arousal and the orgasms are much stronger but after I orgasm I sometimes feel tensing in my genitals like i'm not completly satisfied- this usually means I need to masterbate again to get more satisfied and then again.

I am worried that this means I am more satisfied by same sex fantasys than straight one. I am freeking about this at the moment. Is my body telling me I should be with a man? I don't know whether I'm a kinsey 2,3,4 or 5.

I should add that when I make love to my wife I get a mixture of both of these feelings and am generally satisfied although I do need alot of sex and she is sometimes angry about this.

I know this is a bit of a ramble but does anyone feel anything similar?
Love the site especially because bi men and women are on same forum.

[tenni]

I'm not sure if I have felt exactly the same feelings and emotions. Well, your post has no major sign sticking out to me except that you are curious about your sexuality and sex drive. They may not be linked as much as you may think or they may be.

1/ Do not worry about what Kinsey number to assign your self. It is not that important and you may change yourself and where you see yourself at different points in your life. Right now, you don't know it seems. That's ok.

2/ I haven't felt this but wonder if some guys that I know have similar feelings as you. The feeling of being more relaxed and not as hard when fantasizing about a man may be a couple of things. One may be that you are not that familiar with sex with men and not as sure about how the fantasy should be for you? You may not be giving yourself permission to explore. Another might be that you perceive any sexual experience with a man as a more passive sexual expression and less aggressive than with a woman. I know a couple of guys who see it that way. Think about those ideas and reject them if they seem way off. Explore them when you masturbate as to how you see the sexual fantasy (ie with a man). Do you see yourself having anal sexual fantasies? You may just need to give yourself permission to explore those male fantasies a bit more?

Sex Drive
You may just be a horndog and need lots of sex regardless whether it is a man or woman...lol You're only 35.

[Robinium]

tenni wrote a very good answer in my opinion.

I just want to add a point. The Kinsey scale is very uncomplete, even Kinsey admitted to it, and it only serves to to get a first little clue about oneself. There are many things which are not reflected in the Kinsey score. For example, if you were one of those bi people where sexual and emotional attractions are at odds, i. e. they are sexually attracted almost only to guys but a romantic relationship only works with women for them - or vice versa.

Plus there may always be the exception to the rule, Mr. or Mrs. Right, and the Kinsey score does not matter any more then anyway. Your partner is not just "a man" or "a woman", but the one individual person you share your live with.

The important thing here is that you wrote that with your girlfriend or wife, sex works best for you and that she can give you best of both worlds which is marvellous (albeit not as often as you want or need it). :three:

[bikiniman]

I have been through a stage myself where I have been freaked out by the intensity of my same sexual fantasies and wondered whether or not I'm gay. Where I have done the Kinsey test over and over again looking for answers. Some times after sex with my wife I do not feel completely satisfied and I need to masturbate to a same sex fantasy.

Sexual fantasies are not reality. Sexuality is so complex and very confusing and you can over analyze it which will drive you nuts. There is an inherent level of uncertainty in being bisexual because sexuality is fluid.

I have kept my sanity by focusing on what I am certain about, which is that I love my wife, I am sexually attracted to her and enjoy having sex with her.

It sounds like you are sexually attracted to your wife and enjoy having sex with her. Thats the most important thing. You might question your sexuality on and off for the rest of your life.

[citystyleguy]

...as for the kinsey thing, or for that matter, any of the many available sexual rating tools, i wouldnt fixate on any of them; great for an excercise, sort of fun, but too inconclusive be definitive.

read any of the threads here, and you will see the great people that populate this site, could always tell when they came to understand what in truth was their definitive sexuality. confused, hell yes, many questions to be asked, hell yes, but we all knew, no matter what.

you have many vital concerns and issues that cause great confusion, and with that state of being, raises a great many questions. in brief, and limited to what you stated in your initail thread, also no profile to work with, i would say you are most likely bi-courious.

you seem to have emotional strength with the women in your life, along with a powerful libido for female sexual encounters; your couriosity regarding men seems to be more of strong identification of emotional desire, than the physicial.

i would say, so long as anyone you are involved with in any degree of intimacy is fully knowing and comfortable, that you strongly give into developing more intimate relationships with a man, and see what comes of it.

best of wishes,

[jasa75]

Yes I explored my sexuality a bit about 5 years ago. I was not turned on to the point of an erection in about the 5 experiences I had(oral sex only). I did have one experience where I came in a sauna to a hand job and it felt great. I'm not sure whether it's fear or giving myself permission to explore as Tenni insightfully suggested. The one time I have come (hand job) I did seem to let myself go more. Maybe it was my mood /the situation. Generally my feelings about my exploration was that It didn't feel highly erotic. I had some oral sex with male a escort and I got the feeling "there is a cock in my mouth what is it doing there". It did'nt feel sexy. My main Gay fantasy is being sucked off by a guy but in real life I have been too tense/scared or not able to get it up. I find Gay porn bit boring. I'm sorry no profile I will work on one.