Vanilla wife, Feeldoe, Bend over Boyfriend 1&2

[BaskinRobbins]

I recently purchased all of the above. My wife is pretty vanilla. She won't talk a/b her fantasies and won't initiate kinky sex for the most part. I scored a 525 on the kink test. She scored a 230 and wouldn't let me watch her take the test!

I told her I ordered a toy and a DVD or two. She opened the DVD and didn't freak out, but didn't really acknowledge it either.

Does anyone have any advice on getting a Vanilla wife to open up and possibly put the feeldoe to use?

I REALLY want her to open up and give it a shot, but am not sure how to approach it. We've been married ten years and have done anal on her, but she has only touched my ass once when I prompted her.

I think she thinks I'll "turn gay"! :rolleyes:

[innaminka]

Don't forget, toys are butthat - toys!
You play with them.

I think you may be on the wrong track if you think an hour with a plasrtic dick will have the same effect as St paul had on the road to Damascus.

"I have seen the light.!!!" etc etc etc.

be yourself - talk, communicate - love her. If you want her to be a bit less vanilla, .......ask.

It may work.

Toys will only make it better - more fun. They won't change her outlook by themselves.
Only you and your body will.

[csrakate]

BaskinRobbins,
Your situation is a very frustrating one I am sure, but the conundrum lies in the possibility that your enthusiasm for such activity is what keeps her from doing so. I don't know your situation, whether one or the both of you are bi, or whether or not she is fully aware of your sexual nature, but as a woman who faced a similar situation herself, I found myself worried that if I crossed that line, then perhaps he would only want more afterwards. I already had fears that I would never totally satisfy him sexually, and the prospect of simulating anal sex with the use of toys only made that fear more realistic, not to mention the fact that I knew absolutely nothing about performing such things. You have to understand that she just may not be ready right now and to push the issue will only make her more resistant and also exacerbate her possible fears that nothing will ever be enough. Talk to her...help her understand that by doing so she is fulfilling a fantasy for you...a fantasy that SHE can be a part of and in doing so, will only increase your love and desire for her. Encourage her to share her fantasies as well, incorporate those fantasies in things that you do together and continue to grow as a couple as a result of such open and loving talk. But to shove a Feeldoe at her and say, "use this" is not the way to go and there aren't enough videos created to make her feel at ease unless you talk about how you feel while watching them. Lucky for me, my spouse didn't push the issue and in doing so, allowed me to become more comfortable about it on my own and in my own time. I hope that you will be able to arrive at this point as well!

Hugs,
Kate

[nubiwoman]

... I wonder if trust is an issue here?

....For me, sex needs to start with being, rather than doing....

.... and if your wife is being so passive i.e. receiving anal from you but never initiating touch or responding to your toys dvds etc then i wonder if she feels intimidated and a little out of her depth?

.....maybe, as the others have hinted, just being with your wife and perhaps exploring what she wants from being intimate with you.. may help her to feel a little bit safer and more in control?

.....probably just a woman thing,but, if all else fails just try a little tenderness..

..... :2cents: julie :female:

[tom_uk]

I told her I ordered a toy and a DVD or two. She opened the DVD and didn't freak out, but didn't really acknowledge it either.



if all else fails you can sell them cheap on here :bigrin:

tom_uk

[funtimebiman47]

I bid 5 dollars tom :bigrin:

[tom_uk]

$10 inc delivery

tom_uk

[chook]

Well that takes care of you..............but what did you buy for your wife???????????


Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[BaskinRobbins]

Perhaps I should preface this with some info about us.

We met when we were sophomores in HS. She was very "conservative" then. She still is very conservative 16 years later. She likes to think she's not, but she is.

We got into a small arguement last week b/c I asked her to take a kink test and she wouldn't until I left the room. She won't share her fantasies, even though I've asked her to and told her mine.

When I ask her a/b her fantasies she says, "Don't go there."

I'm obviously open. I have asked her repeatedly to open up and she won't.

[BaskinRobbins]

I'm not hung up a/b sex obviously and like all sex...