Any Gay Guys here who have turned BI?

[AsianDream]

Id be very interested to hear from any people here who have started out gay and turned BI – mostly to know if this is really possible – or has happened to anyone else?

Ive always been a “pure” Gay Guy – but very recently had an experience with girls as well (a MMFF foursome) which as well as being an amazing experience – has left me feeling quite a strong sexual interest in women.

This is more complicated – in that we all had a shared fetish – so I don’t know if this is the major factor – or if Im actually turning BI.

Id hasten to add that Ive got no interest at all in being “cured” of being Gay – but guess Im starting to realize that the ideas Ive held of me “being born Gay” are maybe wrong.

[DuckiesDarling]

I think there is one guy you might wanna talk to...

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/member.php?u=101270


Other than that, welcome to the site :) We have all types here.

[citystyleguy]

cannot answer your main point; i am now and always have been a bi-male, however the road to answering the age old question, what art thou, was a rough and damn confusing trip.

much of your initial thread is questioning your original understanding, and in some terms asking what actually; so in general terms, it less that you or anyone esle is turning from one into the other, but realizing that from any vantage point, there is a measure of fluidity to each individual sexual type.

while the definitive ends are typically interpreted as either gay/lesbing or straight, that many will find an ability to appreciate the richness that comes with an expanded interpretation, and once again, fluidity.

as your site provides nada for who you are and where you are in your journey of self-discovery, i hope that you can draw something from the above.

in ending, you will soon discover a wealth of experience among this diverse group!

[AsianDream]

I think there is one guy you might wanna talk to...
http://main.bisexual.com/forum/member.php?u=101270
Other than that, welcome to the site :) We have all types here.

Thanks - I've looked at his profile - a bit shy about sending a private message to him (only just joined) - but hope he sees this thread.

I didn't place an "Advert" here - not what Im after - but even my brief look through does show a lot of interesting people.

As a side question - Ive censored my usual Avatar PIC - not sure what the protocol on this site is for explicit pictures?

[DuckiesDarling]

I believe explicit pictures are allowed on profiles as long as you mark them as such. There is a box to check when you post pictures.

[AsianDream]

I believe explicit pictures are allowed on profiles as long as you mark them as such. There is a box to check when you post pictures.

OK - but not for Avatars? - guess I'll take the oportunity to make the blacked out part a bit longer :)

[DuckiesDarling]

Not sure plenty have very explicit pics for avatars I would say that is personal choice.

[AsianDream]

Not sure plenty have very explicit pics for avatars I would say that is personal choice.

Thanks - I liked reading your profile - interesting ideas - anyway will change to my (less impresive) uncensored avatar :)

[AsianDream]

cannot answer your main point; i am now and always have been a bi-male, however the road to answering the age old question, what art thou, was a rough and damn confusing trip.

much of your initial thread is questioning your original understanding, and in some terms asking what actually; so in general terms, it less that you or anyone esle is turning from one into the other, but realizing that from any vantage point, there is a measure of fluidity to each individual sexual type.

while the definitive ends are typically interpreted as either gay/lesbing or straight, that many will find an ability to appreciate the richness that comes with an expanded interpretation, and once again, fluidity.

as your site provides nada for who you are and where you are in your journey of self-discovery, i hope that you can draw something from the above.

in ending, you will soon discover a wealth of experience among this diverse group!

Thanks citystyleguy,

I'm interested in finding out more about myself - though a journey of self-discovery maybe sounds a bit grander than what Im after.

Though similar journeys by others is what I want to hear about

[tristancir]

In a sense, this is a question of labels. Labels are useful. Are you gay? Are you straight? etc. But they usually do not encompass 100% of what they are intended to categorize.

Gay, bi, straight? Which are you? Are you gay but occasionally enjoy sex with women? Or are you straight but occasionally do things with men? Are you bisexual but don't have any same sex partners?
In the end, the definition should be up to the individual. You decide what you are, not someone else.

And while I'm here, let's talk about intention. It is your intention that truly defines you, not what you do. A person who has interest in both sexes and has the intent to act on it is bisexual not bicurious. I've seen some that claim they aren't bisexual because they have only been with opposite sex partners. A bi-curious person is one who is considering it as a possibility. I've met gay people who engaged in heterosexual activity at one point. And I've known straight people who engaged in homosexual activity at one point.

Know yourself. If you are interested in both sexes, then so be it. Don't worry so much about the label.

[AsianDream]

In a sense, this is a question of labels. Labels are useful. Are you gay? Are you straight? etc. But they usually do not encompass 100% of what they are intended to categorize.

Gay, bi, straight? Which are you? Are you gay but occasionally enjoy sex with women? Or are you straight but occasionally do things with men? Are you bisexual but don't have any same sex partners?
In the end, the definition should be up to the individual. You decide what you are, not someone else.

And while I'm here, let's talk about intention. It is your intention that truly defines you, not what you do. A person who has interest in both sexes and has the intent to act on it is bisexual not bicurious. I've seen some that claim they aren't bisexual because they have only been with opposite sex partners. A bi-curious person is one who is considering it as a possibility. I've met gay people who engaged in heterosexual activity at one point. And I've known straight people who engaged in homosexual activity at one point.

Know yourself. If you are interested in both sexes, then so be it. Don't worry so much about the label.

"Know thyself" is good advice

Maybe my problem is that I don't know myself - just know that my first opposite sex experience - which was a bit of an experiment at first - has made me not at all sure about my own desires.

I guess part of this being the "Gay" lable I've attached to myself

[AsianDream]

In a sense, this is a question of labels. Labels are useful. Are you gay? Are you straight? etc. But they usually do not encompass 100% of what they are intended to categorize.


The idea of Labels and how they can restrict people is an interesting one

Thinking about it - part of my "self image" is to do with labels - rather than what I really am

[AsianDream]

much of your initial thread is questioning your original understanding, and in some terms asking what actually; so in general terms, it less that you or anyone esle is turning from one into the other, but realizing that from any vantage point, there is a measure of fluidity to each individual sexual type.


Have you experienced fluidity in your own sexual identity or preferences?

[H0wardmoon]

I say enjoy yourself. And welcome to the club! :):tongue:

[kinsey4]

I came out 'gay' nearly ten years ago after really struggling with religious issues and same-sex attraction, and once I'd started calling myself gay, exposing myself to gay culture and associating mostly with gay guys that became the hard and fast reality of it - I was only attracted to guys.

But then I started hanging out with regular straight folks more eventually, and with some really awesome lesbian/bi girls, and I found my opposite-sex attractions coming back quite strongly (I'd only ever had crushes on girls through school, and had a couple of girlfriends, nothing sexual really) -- and women became a lot more appealing sexually. So I came out 'bi' and have mostly called myself that ever since.

Except that I also find trans-guys and the occasional transwoman attractive, so I also go by 'queer'.

I think we can all expand our erotic potential by being sexually and romantically inquisitive - I hear a lot of gay guys saying 'Oh, I could never find a woman attractive' but I have to wonder if they've ever really investigated the possibility. Now, I'm not denying that some people are far more strongly attracted to members of their own sex, and I absolutely reject pseudoscientific/religiously motivated claims that gay people 'should' change their orientation, but I am a firm believer that sexualities are shaped by or possibly even created by individual psychological processes, learned sexual habits and behaviours, and family and social environment.

Example: anal sex of any kind had never even occurred to me as a possibility until my exposure to porn, but after my initial disgust, through repeated exposure it became something I found arousing, and eventually incorporated into my sexual repertoire, and then for a while something that was actually *necessary* for my arousal. Same with oral sex on men. Prior to that I'd only ever really thought of holding and touching men, and that was sufficient. I later got into the whole male muscle worship thing, and the emphasis on nipple play focused my attention on that aspect of the male body, so that that became a required stimulus. However, with my increased association with some awesome women this nipple-focus was expanded to women, and to breasts, and with education and curiosity about women's clits, labia etc, I became increasingly able to enjoy women's bodies. I'm still a little more attracted to guys than women, but I can now see myself with either or both in future.

Now, maybe I'm just a little more flexible in my attractions than some other people, or maybe I had more bisexual potential to begin with than most gay guys, but I maintain that we condition ourselves to be aroused by certain sexual stimuli and that we can each expand those to a greater or lesser extent.

Hope that helps, anyhow :)

[elian]

Before I started participating on this site I thought relationships and attraction were in black and white. I wanted very much to "prove" one way or the other that I was either gay or straight..because I did not want to marry a straight spouse only to find that the attraction I felt for men would later lead to a divorce.

It opened my eyes to learn that there are all manner of love and attraction - then again if you look very carefully at nature nothing in real life is as black and white as the flat two dimensional media driven culture we are exposed to on a daily basis.

I honestly believe it is media's intent to drive insecurity into the populous, if they can expose insecurities they have something to market to - manufacture the problem and sell you the solution.

I only chafe a little at my imagined notion that the whole white male institutionalized unearned power system seems geared toward forcing men into the "Dick, Jane and 2.5 kids" mode of survival. My apologies to anyone who isn't a white male for whining too loudly - all things considered I don't have very much to really complain about. I'll only say that some of us DO resent being pushed into boxes - or likewise feel anger at watching OTHER people being forced into boxes against their will.

[AsianDream]

I think we can all expand our erotic potential by being sexually and romantically inquisitive - I hear a lot of gay guys saying 'Oh, I could never find a woman attractive' but I have to wonder if they've ever really investigated the possibility. Now, I'm not denying that some people are far more strongly attracted to members of their own sex, and I absolutely reject pseudoscientific/religiously motivated claims that gay people 'should' change their orientation, but I am a firm believer that sexualities are shaped by or possibly even created by individual psychological processes, learned sexual habits and behaviours, and family and social environment.

Thanks Kinsey - I'm fairly sure my previous lack of interest in women was real. I had a week between agreeing to this foursome and doing it (I almost chickened out).

During this waiting period I did quite a lot of searching about MF sexual activities and pictures of women - and can honestly say I found none of it at all arousing.

I think I must be someone that picks up learned sexual responses very easily (maybe why Ive got quite a few fetishes). Following my "initiation" I've actually looked at some of the same pictures and did find them making me horny.

Only a slight effect from female breasts - but a strong effect from female genitals - partuclary with semen coming out of them - which was one of the sights that got me highly aroused last week.

I guess a lot of what I though i knew - about peoples sexuality being fixed at birth etc is maybe not true.

Also - I have sex with quite a few BI guys - but have always thought that really "underneath it all" they were Gay (I think other gay guys hold this view). But this idea is probably wrong as well.

Though I guess I'm still puzzled by Guys who insist that they're STR8 - not BI - just after they've had sex with me :confused:

[Robinium]

Id be very interested to hear from any people here who have started out gay and turned BI – mostly to know if this is really possible – or has happened to anyone else?

Ive always been a “pure” Gay Guy – but very recently had an experience with girls as well (a MMFF foursome) which as well as being an amazing experience – has left me feeling quite a strong sexual interest in women.

This is more complicated – in that we all had a shared fetish – so I don’t know if this is the major factor – or if Im actually turning BI.

Id hasten to add that Ive got no interest at all in being “cured” of being Gay – but guess Im starting to realize that the ideas Ive held of me “being born Gay” are maybe wrong.

Sorry, I am not gay turned bi, but always been bi. More attracted to males than females, though. Hope you can appreciate my suggestions nevertheless.

Being gay does not necessarily mean that you cannot ever ever be attracted to a woman no matter how favorable the circumstances are. It does not mean either that you cannot have (even good) sex with a sex/gender you are not attracted to. Even the most unattractive people can rock in bed if they get it "right". I guess even the most gay male could have good or at least ok sex with a woman if she gets it really right. She would not be attractive to him, but if she sucks well etc... I had sex with a lot of people I found rather unattractive, and some of that sex was fabulous. But I'm kinky and it was kinky sex and they got it right... Maybe I over-generalize here.

Your fetish might play a big role here, as it transports "sexyness" for you anyway even if you find the participants not attractive (still don't know what fetish that was - you are making me curious ;-)).

I have heard about a couple of gays who became fathers after a bottle of wodka or something like this and having sex with a woman drunk (lesbian in one case I knew personally). Seems like after enough alcohol, many people seem to occasionally forget that they are gay or straight or whatever or they don't care any more. And I would say, if a fetish whatever it is played a role in what you experienced, and the fetish is important to you... then yes the gender of the participants may be secondary.

Doesn't mean you're bi. Just means you are maybe not 100% gay, or at least not disgusted by doing ... (insert action) with females no matter if they turn you on or not.

Wouldn't that be nice, by the way, feeling attracted to women as well? More to look at on hot summer days in the city... You can still go on having a gay lifestyle. If you are not attracted to women, however, you will not miss it.

Whatever you are, whatever happens, just take care that you feel good about yourself the way you are, and do not fool yourself into something weird which does not fit you. Maybe women can attract you under certain circumstances, maybe not. None of both makes you a better or worse person or disqualifies you as who you are. I don't think so from what you write, doesn't sound like a closeted bi guy trying to pass as gay, but in the extreme case (!), you might (!) be a bisexual in denial. But whatever you are, that's just you. You are you. Adorable as the person you are. You probably know these sayings from your gay coming out times...

In case of doubt, spend your leisure time the next days sitting on a bench in the city with an ice-cream. It's summer, the ideal season to see a lot of skin. And look at guys and girls. Who do you find sexually attractive? Who could you imagine having sex with or dating? Who do you feel like cuddling? But be polite and wear sunglasses so nobody sees you staring. That's a good, cheap and primitive bi-detection test to start with...

[AsianDream]

Your fetish might play a big role here, as it transports "sexyness" for you anyway even if you find the participants not attractive (still don't know what fetish that was - you are making me curious ;-)).

I have heard about a couple of gays who became fathers after a bottle of wodka or something like this and having sex with a woman drunk (lesbian in one case I knew personally). Seems like after enough alcohol, many people seem to occasionally forget that they are gay or straight or whatever or they don't care any more. And I would say, if a fetish whatever it is played a role in what you experienced, and the fetish is important to you... then yes the gender of the participants may be secondary.


Thanks Robinium

My Fetish (maybe obsession) is Watersports - the experience was with a BI guy and a Lesbian couple (one also BI).

I have described what happened on a Gay Site I've been a member of for a long time - it is rather explicit - but if interested - it's in 2 parts (couldn't write it all in one go) at:

Bivirgin Watersports Foursome - Getting Started (http://www.justusboys.com/forum/view.php?blog=234466&id=19390&title=bivirgin-watersports-foursome-getting-started)
Bivirgin Watersports Foursome - What Happened Next (http://www.justusboys.com/forum/view.php?blog=234466&id=19398&title=bivirgin-watersports-foursome-what-happened-next)

I am confused in my own mind if it's just the activity and the novelty of doing it with Girls - or if I've actually changed since.

In some ways - having the label "Gay" also covers identity - not just sexual preference - plus the idea that it can change so easily is rather disturbing for me

[elian]

Thanks Robinium

In some ways - having the label "Gay" also covers identity - not just sexual preference - plus the idea that it can change so easily is rather disturbing for me

If your mind is programmed in such a way as to believe that sexual and romantic relationships are only ever either/or (as most of us are) then yes, it can be very confusing, to one day see a cute guy jogging down the road and the next day be just as turned on watching a woman masturbating herself to orgasm.

The only way I've made peace with what I've been taught vs. what I am capable of feeling is to not focus so much on the label. My sexuality is only one part of who I am, not my whole being. It may sound like a cliche but I really do believe that being bisexual means that you can love someone for more than just what is between their legs.

Part of the issue at least here in the US that bothers me is I think two people of the same gender ought to be able to show love and affection toward each other in a non sexual way but it seems like any time that happens people attach homoerotic overtones to it whether warranted or not.

May be stating the obvious but being bisexual is not easy for some people, and it does not automatically mean simply being able to "double your chances to get lucky" on a date.

[Gay2Bi]

I think there is one guy you might wanna talk to...

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/member.php?u=101270


Other than that, welcome to the site :) We have all types here.

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match - although what I'd do with it, I'm not sure, since I don't smoke... ;)

[Gay2Bi]

Thanks - I've looked at his profile - a bit shy about sending a private message to him (only just joined) - but hope he sees this thread.

"Too shy, shy, hush, hush..."

Sorry, 80's flashback there. As the saying goes, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Welcome to the site! And if you have questions, don't be afraid to ask.


As a side question - Ive censored my usual Avatar PIC - not sure what the protocol on this site is for explicit pictures?

I think cute Asian guys should be required to have explicit avatars, but maybe that's just me... ;)

[AsianDream]

"Too shy, shy, hush, hush..."

Sorry, 80's flashback there. As the saying goes, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Welcome to the site! And if you have questions, don't be afraid to ask.

I think cute Asian guys should be required to have explicit avatars, but maybe that's just me... ;)

Hi Gay2Bi

Guess I’m more of the “Hedonistic” Gay stereotype :) – so am sort of coming to terms with the idea of being BI on the basis that if I have a desire to do something – that must be what I want?

But I do see the logistical problems in actually finding regular BI male & female partners. Finding guy partners also into watersports is already a hassle – the situation a couple of weeks back was quite unusual – so probably no chance of being a regular thing.

Have you had any luck in finding Male/Female Couples / Groups?

Also I’m not sure how to go about meeting girls for sex anyway – with guys there’s saunas and sex clubs – but with women it’s more the whole dating / nightclub thing?

The few times I’ve been in a relationship with a guy – it’s always been sex first – then getting to know each other. While it seems for women normally it’s the other way round.

I’m planning to go to the monthly “Swingers” party (actually held at a sauna I go to) with the same BI guy and Lesbian couple (you have to be a M/F couple to get in). He’s been before and says there’s quite a few BI people there.

I guess there's always internet hookups - In the past I've tried this with Guys - never turned out good and often rather embarrasing :( .

I guess I've got a contradiction - I hate socially awkward situations (maybe a cultural thing) - but have no hesitation (OK - love :) ) doing things like semi-public sex - where it's acceptable (sauna etc).

But for arranged hookups for sex - I can't tell if I like a guy sexually till I actually meet him (even those with accurate pics) - but I'm too polite to change my mind. Not that I have to be totally wild about a guy to have sex with him - but for a couple of hours one-on-one it's hard (well - soft being more the problem).

[Robinium]

Hi AsianDream,

thank you for posting the link and your openness. I hope you don't mind me not having read it carefully, as watersports and me, I have big trouble even reading about it. No offense meant, if it's fine for you, that's okay.


I am confused in my own mind if it's just the activity and the novelty of doing it with Girls - or if I've actually changed since.

In some ways - having the label "Gay" also covers identity - not just sexual preference - plus the idea that it can change so easily is rather disturbing for me

I see what you mean. Maybe what puzzles you most is not that your sexual response to women has changed, but that it has changed so extremely fast. Must be a very confusing, intense phase with a lot of emotional rollercoast you are going through right now, hope you get through it well.

If that happened to me, it would be very very confusing and it would make me feel very insecure also about other aspects of myself and even make me fear "losing myself". Like, if so much happened in me in just one day or two, might I change from a vegetarian atheist gay communist pacifist into a beef-eating christian straight right-wing marine officer in only 3 months? (Or vice versa) :eek:

Plus, gay identity has so much to it, which is so very emotional, and so many good and bad memories burned into each gay's personal biography - ranging from great experiences, to romantic and social life, to coming out, struggling with homophobia etc. Suddenly not falling neatly into this category any more may make you wonder whether you are invalidating all these memories or treating your own biography like it is based on a lie, at least at the beginning. Don't know if that's how you feel, I think I would feel like this if I were in your shoes.

As the label "gay" is quite strictly defined, it can happen easily that one falls out of the category fast. Plus there is a lot of biphobia and silly prejudices against bi people, so "becoming bi" is not the most popular wish on the face of the planet.

A friend of mine is basically lesbian but has been dating a guy for about 2 years now. Otherwise, she is almost only attracted to girls, he is really the exception. She went through all this "my biography and my lesbian coming out issues etc. are not valid" thing and felt like a betrayer to herself for quite a while. It's somewhat different from your situation, but just to tell you you are not alone.

Wish you a lot of courage for the next weeks or months, AsianDream. And of fun as well. ;)

[mikey3000]

I have met several guys who were "very actively gay" for many years before they discovered they liked women too. Three have gone on to marry and start families, and yes they are bi now.

[AsianDream]

Hi AsianDream,

thank you for posting the link and your openness. I hope you don't mind me not having read it carefully, as watersports and me, I have big trouble even reading about it. No offense meant, if it's fine for you, that's okay.



I see what you mean. Maybe what puzzles you most is not that your sexual response to women has changed, but that it has changed so extremely fast. Must be a very confusing, intense phase with a lot of emotional rollercoast you are going through right now, hope you get through it well.

If that happened to me, it would be very very confusing and it would make me feel very insecure also about other aspects of myself and even make me fear "losing myself". Like, if so much happened in me in just one day or two, might I change from a vegetarian atheist gay communist pacifist into a beef-eating christian straight right-wing marine officer in only 3 months? (Or vice versa) :eek:

Plus, gay identity has so much to it, which is so very emotional, and so many good and bad memories burned into each gay's personal biography - ranging from great experiences, to romantic and social life, to coming out, struggling with homophobia etc. Suddenly not falling neatly into this category any more may make you wonder whether you are invalidating all these memories or treating your own biography like it is based on a lie, at least at the beginning. Don't know if that's how you feel, I think I would feel like this if I were in your shoes.

As the label "gay" is quite strictly defined, it can happen easily that one falls out of the category fast. Plus there is a lot of biphobia and silly prejudices against bi people, so "becoming bi" is not the most popular wish on the face of the planet.

A friend of mine is basically lesbian but has been dating a guy for about 2 years now. Otherwise, she is almost only attracted to girls, he is really the exception. She went through all this "my biography and my lesbian coming out issues etc. are not valid" thing and felt like a betrayer to herself for quite a while. It's somewhat different from your situation, but just to tell you you are not alone.

Wish you a lot of courage for the next weeks or months, AsianDream. And of fun as well. ;)

Hi Robinium

Thanks for the insight

I’ve met quite a few guys who’ve changed political views from radical left to conservative capitalists (I often go for older guys). But this has usually taken many years and they don’t seem to think of themselfs as if they’d become a different person.

I do have the feeling that my identity isn’t very solid – especially for something important like being Gay. I do tend to change my ideas quite suddenly – but in this case – I’ve still got doubts about how “real” the change is.

Some of my insecurity may come from leading a double life. I’m in Australia at the moment and have got permanent residency – but still unsure if I’ll got back to HK when I finish my thesis. Here I’m totally out as Gay – but none of my family or (non gay) friends in HK have any idea. Though some Westerners think of this as “living a lie” – it’s the case with almost all my Gay Asian friends.

No worries about you not being into Watersports – it’s something I’m very open about (except in HK!) but don’t normally discuss except where it’s appropriate. This was also a strong interest I acquired very quickly – so I guess I may have a naturally “Fluid” personality (pun not really intended :) ).

I have had a subsequent BI sexual experience (last night) and I think you’re right that I may enjoy the added dimension if I can overcome my misgivings.

[AsianDream]

I have met several guys who were "very actively gay" for many years before they discovered they liked women too. Three have gone on to marry and start families, and yes they are bi now.

Hi Mikey

I have vaugly thought about the "now I could have children" angle in the last couple of weeks. Which is something I'd sort of resigned myself to being impossible for me.

But I'd so hate to be even a statistic to give support to the "Right Wing Evangalists" that say people can be "Cured" of being gay.

I do still know for certain that I'm never going to give up being attracted to - nor having sex with guys.

[Robinium]

Hi Robinium

Thanks for the insight

I’ve met quite a few guys who’ve changed political views from radical left to conservative capitalists (I often go for older guys). But this has usually taken many years and they don’t seem to think of themselfs as if they’d become a different person.

Well apart from what I think of conservative capitalists (each person has a right to their kink ;))... that's the point. It happened over many years, not a couple of days.


I do have the feeling that my identity isn’t very solid – especially for something important like being Gay. I do tend to change my ideas quite suddenly – but in this case – I’ve still got doubts about how “real” the change is.

A non-solid identity is okay. I don't know your age but you seem to be young still, it's okay. Well wait a couple of weeks or months to see if women still turn you on. You can do nothing else than wait, stay open-minded and see what happens over time here.


Some of my insecurity may come from leading a double life. I’m in Australia at the moment and have got permanent residency – but still unsure if I’ll got back to HK when I finish my thesis. Here I’m totally out as Gay – but none of my family or (non gay) friends in HK have any idea. Though some Westerners think of this as “living a lie” – it’s the case with almost all my Gay Asian friends.

I see what you mean. If you're not out to your family, it may make you quite insecure. However, I don't think it may make you horny about women in watersports. Sounds like a big challenge if coming-out is not easy or possible. Don't know about HK and gay issues. But sounds not easy. HK means Hong Kong, right?


No worries about you not being into Watersports – it’s something I’m very open about (except in HK!) but don’t normally discuss except where it’s appropriate. This was also a strong interest I acquired very quickly – so I guess I may have a naturally “Fluid” personality (pun not really intended :) ).

Unfortunately, I've tried watersports twice in my life even though I was really not thrilled at the idea before and well it really does not work for me. Have dozens of other kinks though, so what the heck.

Maybe you just pick up kinks and sexual interests easily. Which is great. It gives you more facets of sexuality to enjoy every week or month. I'd love to be that flexible.


I have had a subsequent BI sexual experience (last night) and I think you’re right that I may enjoy the added dimension if I can overcome my misgivings.

Now you made me look up what "misgivings" means. Never thought that this forum could be that educational :bigrin: Well if you pick up additional sources of pleasure easily, that's great for you.

I had a couple of great kinky experiences where before I thought: "what the heck..." - or was surprised with what the top did and it either did not bother me or was great. Although I found it silly or a turn-down before from hearing about it.

By the way, a rubber mask always looks silly unless you wear it yourself and cannot see yourself in the mirror to burst out laughing :bigrin: Otherwise I would have messed up a fabulous threesome bondage session. I still don't get off on rubber stuff, but it's no problem for me any more. As long as I don't have to see it while keeping serious. :bigrin:

Just to tell you that your watersports kink does not bother me in the way of "eeek, thats pervert". ;)

Well and you wrote about maybe becoming a father and stuff... just don't let right wing Evangelists influence you in your lifestyle choice, no matter which way. You are not just a number in a right-wing statistic, above all, you are yourself. Maybe one day it might work out for you, having a woman and 2.5 children, and if not, it's fine as well.

Greetings

Robinium

[AsianDream]

Well apart from what I think of conservative capitalists (each person has a right to their kink ;))... that's the point. It happened over many years, not a couple of days.

Don't agree with conservative capitalists - but do accept some of their ideas



A non-solid identity is okay. I don't know your age but you seem to be young still, it's okay. Well wait a couple of weeks or months to see if women still turn you on. You can do nothing else than wait, stay open-minded and see what happens over time here.

29 - but look younger



I see what you mean. If you're not out to your family, it may make you quite insecure. However, I don't think it may make you horny about women in watersports. Sounds like a big challenge if coming-out is not easy or possible. Don't know about HK and gay issues. But sounds not easy. HK means Hong Kong, right?

HK does mean Hong Kong - but Im actually in Australia at the moment



Unfortunately, I've tried watersports twice in my life even though I was really not thrilled at the idea before and well it really does not work for me. Have dozens of other kinks though, so what the heck.

Maybe you just pick up kinks and sexual interests easily. Which is great. It gives you more facets of sexuality to enjoy every week or month. I'd love to be that flexible.

Sad watersports does not work for you - but I guess - such is life - don't think I could say anything to you to make you like it :(



Now you made me look up what "misgivings" means. Never thought that this forum could be that educational :bigrin: Well if you pick up additional sources of pleasure easily, that's great for you.

Hope you don't mind me saying that your English Writing sounds like a total native speaker :)

Engish is a second language for me to - I'd have to admit to taking a certain pride in using longer English words than many of the Australian (Native speaker) Guys I talk (and have sex) with. A sort of paradox being both a "Cute Asian Twink" and (in German terms) a "HERR DR DIPL ING" as well! :) (one really hot German guy told me that was how I should be addressed in Germany)

[Robinium]

Sad watersports does not work for you - but I guess - such is life - don't think I could say anything to you to make you like it :(

Maybe in 10 years or so it might work? No idea.


Hope you don't mind me saying that your English Writing sounds like a total native speaker :)

Thank you very much, you made my day! :cool:.


Engish is a second language for me to - I'd have to admit to taking a certain pride in using longer English words than many of the Australian (Native speaker) Guys I talk (and have sex) with. A sort of paradox being both a "Cute Asian Twink" and (in German terms) a "HERR DR DIPL ING" as well! :) (one really hot German guy told me that was how I should be addressed in Germany)

:bigrin:

Well in Germany you either say "Herr Doktor" or "Herr Diplom-Ingenieur" but combining both is very unusual.

Otherwise, if you like long words, German is the perfect language for it. Ours are the longest :bigrin:. We can stick words together almost infinitely.

Our parliament in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern (part of Germany) once created a law called:

Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübert ragungsgesetz

When this name was read out lout, though, the whole parliament burst out laughing. Finally, they changed the name into

"Rinderkennzeichnungs- und Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübert ragungsgesetz."

which is not much better... (the space between the t and the r should go away, but I can't edit it.)

Wonder what would take longer? Having sex or saying this word?

[AsianDream]

Otherwise, if you like long words, German is the perfect language for it. Ours are the longest :bigrin:. We can stick words together almost infinitely.

Our parliament in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern (part of Germany) once created a law called:

Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübe rtragungsgesetz

When this name was read out lout, though, the whole parliament burst out laughing. Finally, they changed the name into

"Rinderkennzeichnungs- und Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübe rtragungsgesetz."


WOW - that beats "Supercalifragalisticexpialidocious" any day - plus is a real word!

[fred fencesitter]

If you're interested in becoming sexually active with women, the long-ish word you should learn is ... cunnilingus. Many women come more from that than from intercourse. Check out "Box Lunch" and "The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus."

[AsianDream]

If you're interested in becoming sexually active with women, the long-ish word you should learn is ... cunnilingus. Many women come more from that than from intercourse. Check out "Box Lunch" and "The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus."

The first Orgasm I gave a girl was through cunnilingus - only a few weeks ago - so I've still got a lot to learn about how to do this well.

Luckily I've had a lot of practice in anilingus with guys - and woman seem to enjoy this just as much as guys and respond to much the same techniques.

Will do a search fro the Guide you mentioned - though suspect becoming good at oral sex with women is more a matter of practical experience (which I think will be rather enjoyable!)

[Robinium]

Will do a search fro the Guide you mentioned - though suspect becoming good at oral sex with women is more a matter of practical experience (which I think will be rather enjoyable!)

Some theory is never wrong to help in practical matters, too, e. g. did you ever hear that there is something like the female prostate? ;)

A very good informative website I know on the topic of female anatomy etc is this one:

http://www.the-clitoris.com/

Whether you learn it practically, theoretically or both, here German rules again and offers you another nice long word: Cunnilingustechnik. :bigrin:

[AsianDream]

Some theory is never wrong to help in practical matters, too, e. g. did you ever hear that there is something like the female prostate? ;)

A very good informative website I know on the topic of female anatomy etc is this one:

http://www.the-clitoris.com/

Whether you learn it practically, theoretically or both, here German rules again and offers you another nice long word: Cunnilingustechnik. :bigrin:

Cunnilingustechnik sounds good as an English word as well :)

Thanks for the link – I am keen to learn more of the theory as well.

In terms of learning what to do with women - I was quite lucky to have had an “Instructor” present as well the first time. I guess more like learning to drive – where you’re doing it practically – but have a teacher to guide you.

While doing virginal intercourse from behind (doggy style) – I was told to point my penis downwards – so it rubbed more against the front wall of her virgina. This is very similar to what you do during anal intercourse with a guy to stimulate his prostate - and the position of the virgina actually make this easier (at least for those of us with short legs).

Anyway - this seemed to work well for her – I have since looked up about the G-Spot / Female Prostate – though some sources say this does not exist ?

[fred fencesitter]

So how was your first time with a woman?

[AsianDream]

So how was your first time with a woman?

Awesome :bigrin: – though wasn’t exactly a traditional “boy meets Girl” romantic encounter (M+M+F+F).

Not sure I’d class myself as BI yet – but was a life changing experience (and the reason why I’ve joined this site)

[fred fencesitter]

Tell us more!

Don't worry about labels right now. Or ever, if you so choose. Just enjoy yourself.

[AsianDream]

Tell us more!

Don't worry about labels right now. Or ever, if you so choose. Just enjoy yourself.

I have told about what happened on a Gay Site I'm a member of - it's in 2 parts (couldn't write it all in one go) at:

Bivirgin Watersports Foursome - Getting Started (http://www.justusboys.com/forum/view.php?blog=234466&id=19390&title=bivirgin-watersports-foursome-getting-started)
Bivirgin Watersports Foursome - What Happened Next (http://www.justusboys.com/forum/view.php?blog=234466&id=19398&title=bivirgin-watersports-foursome-what-happened-next)

But this is very explicit about what we did - all four of us are into watersports - so don't read it if this is a real turn-off for you :)

One frustration I've had is that none of my Gay friends think I'm really turning BI - while to me it feels real. These are guys I've known a long time - but their real belief is that Bi sexual men are just repressed Gays - who won't admit it to themsleves.

I guess I did share this idea in my own mind before - but no longer think it's true.

[fred fencesitter]

Nice story! Loved the boy/girl angle.

[AsianDream]

Nice story! Loved the boy/girl angle.

It was another friend that suggested "Show and tell" which did sort of work.

I couldn't say our real names - did start off trying to tell what happened using false names - but just sounded silly to me.

The Boy/girl role play was very hot - though the doctor gear didn't quite fit in with this.

I actually wrote it down in Chinese first (which takes up a lot less space) and is my native language - then typed it back in English.

Anyway - glad to get no "YUK" comments on the watersports aspects of this :)

[Robinium]

While doing virginal intercourse from behind (doggy style) – I was told to point my penis downwards – so it rubbed more against the front wall of her virgina. This is very similar to what you do during anal intercourse with a guy to stimulate his prostate - and the position of the virgina actually make this easier (at least for those of us with short legs).

Anyway - this seemed to work well for her – I have since looked up about the G-Spot / Female Prostate – though some sources say this does not exist ?

Vaginal intercourse, you mean? ;)

The female prostate indeed does exist. It's some tissue wrapped around the urethra, and much smaller than a man's prostate, but very sensitive as well. When a woman gets hot, it swells, which protects her urethra during intercourse. So when God created women, he was clever enough to think about these little practical details.

Some women during orgasm can even come so that a lot of liquid comes out then, like a shot. You can tell it from urine as it smells and tastes different. It's very much like what comes out of a guy when there's no sperm in it. Males and females are not that different.

By the way, when a transguy gets on male hormones, the prostate even tends to grow so much that it becomes quite visible on ultrasound.

And you're right, Chinese takes much less space than English, which is awesome.

[AsianDream]

Vaginal intercourse, you mean? ;)

The female prostate indeed does exist. It's some tissue wrapped around the urethra, and much smaller than a man's prostate, but very sensitive as well. When a woman gets hot, it swells, which protects her urethra during intercourse. So when God created women, he was clever enough to think about these little practical details.

Some women during orgasm can even come so that a lot of liquid comes out then, like a shot. You can tell it from urine as it smells and tastes different. It's very much like what comes out of a guy when there's no sperm in it. Males and females are not that different.

By the way, when a transguy gets on male hormones, the prostate even tends to grow so much that it becomes quite visible on ultrasound.

And you're right, Chinese takes much less space than English, which is awesome.

I did mean Vaginal intercourse - but cum to think of it - it was also viginal (in terms of the opposite sex) as well :)

Next time I do cunnilingus I'll see if there's a different taste :)

[Whispering woods]

I've fucked, and eaten pussy before but i didn't turn bi. I would have to be attracted to women, and want to be with them in order to be bi!

[NMCowboys]

If someone is actually gay or lesbian then they don't "turn" bisexual or become bisexual over time, and the other way is true too that if someone's bisexual they don't turn or become gay or lesbian. I have gay male friends who have had sex with women and it was like the poster above me said they're not sexually attracted to women at all, and never have been. The lesbian women I am friends with who have had boyfriends or a husband said how even though they've had sex with a man they've never had sexual attraction to men or the male gender.