Bisexual Male Attitude(s)

[tenni]

"Even though I believe that he sleeps only with men, he has more of a bisexual male attitude than a gay male attitude."

I read this recently in reference to the author of marksimpson.com
It got me pondering the following.

Although potentially touching upon stereotypes, how are bisexual male attitudes unique?

Are there attitudes that tend to be more commonly found amongst bisexual males? (and not gay males or hetero males)

Please no judgement (positive or negative) about the attitude(s)...just the facts.. or attitude ;)

[Long Duck Dong]

mmmm its hard to really say..... but there is one common factor that I notice more amongst bisexual males than gay males and that is the constant justifying and excuse making for actions

gay and hetero males tend not to make excuses for their actions, they just do them without justifying them.....

now I am not saying that in a judgmental and critical stance..... its just something I have noticed a lot.....

I have not looked at the site, but judging from the fact its concerning a site, and you have a open question..... then I am quessing you are seeking answers about traits in sexualities more than dealing with somebody that is posting controversial posts lol

[tenni]

My question is about attitudes of male bisexuals. Examination of those attitudes may happen in a different thread. It just might be interesting to see if bisexual males have any common attitudes or attitudes more common to male bisexuals.

I read it on a different site that seems to focus a bit more on male bisexuality. All posters are men who see themselves as or wonder about their bisexuality. The person whom I quoted referred to this other website but my thoughts (point of creating this thread) are not about marksimpson website. It is that a male bisexual saw or was struggling to determine an attitude commonality. I would note though that the man that I quoted seemed to be referring to seeing it as positive point of distinguishing himself and this marksimpson.

For example, someone posted recently that they saw male bisexuals as more compassionate than hetero males but made no reference to gay males.

I'm not sure if I would see what LDD has written as an attitude..this justification of actions aspect. How might it be described as an attitude? Guilt ridden? Defensive?

[Long Duck Dong]

if I based it around every day life and not forum posts.... then, honestly, tenni, I am fucked if I can see a difference between bis and gays and heteros....

we do have the classes like bears and twinks and stuff.... but yeah.... I do not know any real difference between gay / hetero and bi males outside of who they are attracted to

[RobUK]

From what I've read, bi men are more paranoid/insecure. So, yeah, LDD is partly right - being insecure, people are going to think out load, ponder if what they're doing is right/wrong, moral/immoral. It is a very complicated way of life, and one that doesn't seem to be understood by the majority...

Add to that the biphobia from the straight and gay camps (the constant arguing that "bisexuality is a lie - they're just closet gays"). Combine a desire for sexual contact with BOTH sexes, a society that frowns upon non-monogamous relationships, and people like LDD decrying such attempts to understand as "making excuses", and it's no wonder bisexual men seem paranoid.

[just4mefc]

From what I've read, bi men are more paranoid/insecure. So, yeah, LDD is partly right - being insecure, people are going to think out load, ponder if what they're doing is right/wrong, moral/immoral. It is a very complicated way of life, and one that doesn't seem to be understood by the majority... no wonder bisexual men seem paranoid.

Interesting observation. However, speaking for myself, I became much more secure and I am not the least bit paranoid after the self discovery that I am indeed bi....

If we delineate the question just a bit, it is my belief that bisexual men who are "out" with their partners and themselves are generally more stable and content with their orientation and might tend to be more "Popeye sexual" - I am what I am :bigrin:! Especially if they have been out for some significant period of time. To clarify I do not mean "out" to the world, just to self and partners. Not certain if monogamy plays a part here? Perhaps monogamous or at least informed consent males might be more open and secure all around?? This is conjecture of course. Perhaps just being out with self is enough but I have my doubts.

Then we have str8s and gays who dabble in bisexual contact. This group might be more paranoid and insecure? This group MIGHT be less settled in terms of self concept? Or they might not be Bisexual at all, but enjoy the sex for sex sake? Or there might be 1000's of other stories? Bisexual's are such a diverse group... So diverse that I am sure you will find every attitude in this group as you will in str8's and gays.

I certainly don't see a common ground amongst bisexual males attitudes. In fact, I have the worst "BiDar" ever. I can not spot a bisexual person to save my life. However, here in socal I have a pretty good "gaydar" but that is USA based behaviors and mannerisms and of course never 100% right.

I think LDD is on the right track, that bisexual attitudes might be different on forum's then in real life? Perhaps there is a tone or attitude that Bi males have in the context of "internet balls" versus gay and str8 males?
:2cents:

[void()]

Glad I'm not named Most, All, Every, Some.

I'm a bisexual male but not paranoid about the morality of that. I live by live and let live. If it feels right then more than likely it is. I don't need to please everyone or even someone, just myself. Don't need to worry much over what the 'in crowd' thinks either. Not in their circle, their standards do not apply to me.

Happy to be me.

[80guitarguy]

As a Bi guy,

I'd say that Bi guys tend to see and feel into the emotional more so than hetero guys. When we're talking to someone we're not just focused on the content of the conversation but also on the whole person - what sort of mood are they in? What else can I read about them?

As well, I'd also say that we tend to be more artistic/metaphoric than straight guys. Because of our dual nature it is easy for us to enter a different state of thoughts/ideas/analyses. We are often poets, dancers, writers, actors, musicians...but can also be found in all fields of life. What makes us unique from gays and heteros is that we have seemingly opposite sides to draw from - we can be direct, linear and forceful when necessary...or soft, sensitive and creative as well.

Now, try combining the complex nature of bisexuality with the impossible complex nature of being adopted and you have the ultimate ball of knotted yarn....ME!!!!