Am I bi or straight?

[doorbell]

I am very unsure about this... I will experience the certainty of that I am straight, but then later on during the day I'll feel sure that I am bi... I experience this daily, and I don't like it.

I'm a guy and I love women, it's been this way since I was a child, but only recently I have doubts about my sexuality. I have never had any experience with men. I tried watching gay porn and see if I enjoy it, as it turned out I did. People on this forum said getting turned on by gay sex doesn't mean I am gay or bi. Sometimes I do appreciate men's style and body, but everyone I know say that I am very unlikely to be bi, I might just be checking guys out like women check out other women just to appreciate their looks.

People say that I'll never know until I try it, but I'm scared about finding out that I am bi... I think I am more scared that what if I fall in love with a straight guy or even worse a stright friend; Or what if I get in a relationship with a girl not knowing my sexuality, and end up with another guy and breaking her heart... Or I might turn very camp...

I feel like I am losing my identity, I don't even know who I am any more. Guys, I need some help. How should I deal with this, and what attitude should I have for this issue?

[void()]

Too many variables. Will not compute. Apologies, try later.

[Long Duck Dong]

I am very unsure about this... I will experience the certainty of that I am straight, but then later on during the day I'll feel sure that I am bi... I experience this daily, and I don't like it.

I'm a guy and I love women, it's been this way since I was a child, but only recently I have doubts about my sexuality. I have never had any experience with men. I tried watching gay porn and see if I enjoy it, as it turned out I did. People on this forum said getting turned on by gay sex doesn't mean I am gay or bi. Sometimes I do appreciate men's style and body, but everyone I know say that I am very unlikely to be bi, I might just be checking guys out like women check out other women just to appreciate their looks.

People say that I'll never know until I try it, but I'm scared about finding out that I am bi... I think I am more scared that what if I fall in love with a straight guy or even worse a stright friend; Or what if I get in a relationship with a girl not knowing my sexuality, and end up with another guy and breaking her heart... Or I might turn very camp...

I feel like I am losing my identity, I don't even know who I am any more. Guys, I need some help. How should I deal with this, and what attitude should I have for this issue?

apply the same rule to the rest of your life..... what if you feel in love with a female that was married and not interested.......

what if you get in to a relationship with a female and end up with another female and break hearts......

dude your sexuality doesn't dictate your life, it can influence your actions.....
and bisexuals are no different to the rest of the human race..... we face the same issues and problems as everybody else..... the only difference is that often our troubles can cross the gender boundaries..... so we can apply the same formula of love and emotions to most scenerios.....

there is no set measurement for being bisexual, so use the straight label until you are ready to decide what label best suits you..... even bisexuals adjust their labels at times....

remember there is no hurry to label who you are, you have a lifetime to learn about you.... and every path starts with the first step....

[biblkman]

Relax........I know its taxing on you, most of us have been were you are now so your not alone. yes u can get turned on by gay porn and not be gay or bi, I know people who get turned on watching bestiality(I can't spell for shit) but don't want to fuck animals themselves. If you fantasize about being with a man than pick apart the fantasi, analyze it what do like, why, would it be something you would want to try. Then you might get a better understanding of your sexual identity. As for being with a women and later finding out you like men aswell, its good you want to figure this out now rather than deal with it after your in a relationship. But I have to be real wit you self discovery is a long and ever changing path. You could be in a relationship when you finaly figure this out. A lot of us didn't come to terms with who we are til later in life, but don't be discouraged or feel overwhelmed, be patient, and above all be honest with yourself. I wish u the best

[flame&psyc]

I am very unsure about this... I will experience the certainty of that I am straight, but then later on during the day I'll feel sure that I am bi... I experience this daily, and I don't like it.

I'm a guy and I love women, it's been this way since I was a child, but only recently I have doubts about my sexuality. I have never had any experience with men. I tried watching gay porn and see if I enjoy it, as it turned out I did. People on this forum said getting turned on by gay sex doesn't mean I am gay or bi. Sometimes I do appreciate men's style and body, but everyone I know say that I am very unlikely to be bi, I might just be checking guys out like women check out other women just to appreciate their looks.

People say that I'll never know until I try it, but I'm scared about finding out that I am bi... I think I am more scared that what if I fall in love with a straight guy or even worse a stright friend; Or what if I get in a relationship with a girl not knowing my sexuality, and end up with another guy and breaking her heart... Or I might turn very camp...

I feel like I am losing my identity, I don't even know who I am any more. Guys, I need some help. How should I deal with this, and what attitude should I have for this issue?




PSYC>> my freind i understand exactly what you are going through the confusion and doubt that any person has to deal with when questioning there sexuality is enough to drive you insane.
due to society's close minded veiw of homo, and bi-sexuality over the generations in this country we still get the idea that it is something to be ashamed of or hidden, although we are alot better off now than just a few short years ago, most still struggle to understand and except what is "in reality a perfectly natural attraction to the desirable traits that trigger our sexual hormones, and despite concept that men attract women, and vise versa ,all people find sexualy attractive features in our same sex group, men, and women will ,dress, cut there hair, or workout to have the same look as there favorite actor,model, or athlete....thinking its what the other sex finds attractive, while they are really picking out what they find sexualy attractive in the same sex" ((from pshycological studies of subconcious attraction,2009))


I struggeled to accept my bi-sexuality for most of my youth and into my adult life, the fear of losing my family, and freinds if they did'nt accept it still prevents me from being totally honest with most in my life, while i had personaly accepted my attraction to the same sex i hid it from the world

even when i met the love of my life my beautiful wife flame,who has always been openly bi-sexual i did not reveal that i was to her for almost 4 years even though i knew it would'nt matter to her that fear still stoped me , i am now openly bi too a small select number of freinds but still hide it from the rest
accepting your sexuality is the simple part getting past social veiw you where raised with is not, however the fear of falling for a freind is possable little usually changes in your veiw of freinds

you are in no way losing your identity, you are discovering who you really are, instead of being who you needed to be to feel accepted ,its better to be your true self than live misrable faking
just hang in there if the time comes you decide to sleep with another man do it because it feels right not because you need an answer

[fredtyg]

I'm a guy and I love women, it's been this way since I was a child, but only recently I have doubts about my sexuality. I have never had any experience with men. I tried watching gay porn and see if I enjoy it, as it turned out I did. People on this forum said getting turned on by gay sex doesn't mean I am gay or bi. Sometimes I do appreciate men's style and body, but everyone I know say that I am very unlikely to be bi, I might just be checking guys out like women check out other women just to appreciate their looks.


Something I'm not too clear about here: I know you appreciate "men's style and body", but do you or have you fantasized about being sexual with another guy? Have you ever seen a good looking guy and thought maybe you'd like to touch his genitals or maybe suck on them?

If so, I'd say you're at least some level of bisexual. You may be one of those mostly straight guys, or you may find out later you're more interested in guys than you thought possible. I'd say if someone fantasizes about sex with people of their own sex- even if only rarely- they're at the very least latent bisexuals. It just needs time to come out in you.

That said, just because a guy appreciates a good looking other guy's physical features, I wouldn't say he's necessarily bisexual. I've appreciated good looks on other guys I know and yet had no sexual attraction to them. Then again, I'm bisexual, so I'm not sure if that makes any sense for purposes of this discussion.:bigrin:

[TulsaTriad1]

Or I might turn very camp...

Do you have a strong affinity to one-name celebrities? (Think: Cher, Madonna, Prince, Bette (Midler or Davis, depending on pronunciation.)

If so, camp could be part of your personal makeup. It doesn't have anything to do with bi-, necessarily, but you might want to take precautions.

As to whether your personal attractions, and whether that means you are bi-, or will break someone's heart in new and unwelcome ways, no, it's not necessary to label yourself, now or ever, and even if "bisexual" turns out to be the one you feel is most appropriate for your own feelings, it doesn't mean you must act on it (is a celibate straight person not straight? Just ask one and you will get an earful).

My advice is to not fear or hate the feelings you have, but rather to explore them. Not necessarily in a physical way (does not sound like you are ready to do that), but in an emotional way, and perhaps in ways that don't involve interpersonal physical exchanges. Porn is one of these, but I don't have much affinity for that media, one way or the other. Books, stories, film that touch on gay or bi- themes. Reaching out to communities like this. There are lots of ways to explore your orientation that do not require physical sexual interactions, and these are less frightening, maybe, than what you are thinking about.

If you decide to take action, it does not have to be out of fear. And maybe, if you do, perhaps you should avoid starting out by going after straight guys (though many here will affirm, you can't tell a book by its cover). :2cents:

TT1

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Quit worrying over "People say". Decide what works the best for You, then proceed from there, Hon. ;)
Cat

[Coastocoast]

I never really thought much about guys sexually when I was younger. There was a guy I knew in my 30’s that was bi. I was neither interested nor threatened by him; he was just another person in my circle of acquaintances. I was asked to give him a ride home once when he had too much to drink to drive home. When I got him home he made a move on my belt buckle and I had a split second decision. It had never crossed my mind, but I had been on my own for a while and I relaxed and I allowed him to go down on me. I never considered that the turning point for me but I felt half way through it that I needed to reciprocate as I would have with any woman. He did not allow me to return the favor, he went in the house and I went home. That is where I started questioning "am I bi?” I had thoughts after that about how would I have been had he allowed me and what would my reaction have been when I was just about to. After that I saw things occur between guys and it was interesting to me to a degree but I was never sure. Several years later I had an encounter with another guy. He made the move on me and I let it happen and when I went to reciprocate he was all too eager. When I looked at his naked male anatomy I decided I will know within in a couple minutes if I am bi. Although I know now that I am bisexual he never let me finish it so that is still unknown to me. I think many people who are "bi-curious" use that term for the same reason I did when I was wondering. When I was faced with my moment of truth and did not hesitate or regret it afterwards so I found out for sure at that point. I am single and open to more now although it has never happened. You likely will never know until after your first encounter if it is you or not.