Cycling sexuality

[BiCycler]

Forgive me if this has been discussed before. Does anyone else experience cycles in their sexuality? My nick really does have thought behind it. I ride a bicycle (I don't own a car). So that's a part of it. But the big part, really, is that I cycle in regards to my sexuality. I call myself bisexual (or is that 'a bisexual'?). I am certainly not gay, nor am I straight. And I am really not happy with those that insist I need to "choose" one or the other or better yet, that "being bi is the weigh station on the way to gay". I think the latter is an insult of intelligence as well. There are times I am very attracted to one and not so much the other. Mostly I am attracted to women; even during the not so much stage. Then there are other times I have an attraction to women and men equally. And alas, during previous depression, I was not attracted to anyone. When I was a teen, I was confused. Not by my attraction to boys and girls, but by my shifting desires. I never know when the cycle is going to happen nor, of course, how long a particular part of a cycle will last. (It's been between weeks and years). I realized my confusion was about the changing attractions not about the actual attractions themselves. What a relief that was. I have since just gotten on with it and enjoyed myself immensely and am in a relationship with someone who cherishes my sexuality as much as she cherishes any other part of me. We all have our own story. I'd love to read about yours.:flag2:

[just4mefc]

Forgive me if this has been discussed before. Does anyone else experience cycles in their sexuality? My nick really does have thought behind it. I ride a bicycle (I don't own a car). So that's a part of it. But the big part, really, is that I cycle in regards to my sexuality. I call myself bisexual (or is that 'a bisexual'?). I am certainly not gay, nor am I straight. And I am really not happy with those that insist I need to "choose" one or the other or better yet, that "being bi is the weigh station on the way to gay". I think the latter is an insult of intelligence as well. There are times I am very attracted to one and not so much the other. Mostly I am attracted to women; even during the not so much stage. Then there are other times I have an attraction to women and men equally. And alas, during previous depression, I was not attracted to anyone. When I was a teen, I was confused. Not by my attraction to boys and girls, but by my shifting desires. I never know when the cycle is going to happen nor, of course, how long a particular part of a cycle will last. (It's been between weeks and years). I realized my confusion was about the changing attractions not about the actual attractions themselves. What a relief that was. I have since just gotten on with it and enjoyed myself immensely and am in a relationship with someone who cherishes my sexuality as much as she cherishes any other part of me. We all have our own story. I'd love to read about yours.:flag2:

The latest term for this is "fluidity" and seems to work for many people to describe how their desires seem to move about. For me this fluidity is a very small fluctuation. Sexual desire is pretty equal in my case. :tong:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I hear ya, Darlin. With me, its complications from menopause and a damn fibroid tumor that has caused 8 months of continueal bleeding. :( My sex drive used to be very high, but in the last year its been kind of 'ehhh'. (Shrugging shoulders)
There was one point where I Could play back in March for one week, and man oh man, did I indulge. lol But now I'm back in the ehhh stage. Sigh.
It's different for everybody, Hon. Its going to flucuate(sp) But worry not, it'll all work out for you. ;)
Cat, in a slump. :}

[citystyleguy]

...as said before, fluidity is the key here; frankly, a common state for many, and seemingly a norm for a great many. as for myself, there is little of this fluidity, as i find a highly developed sense of interest in both sexes, at once equal, balanced, and focused, all at the same time!

[fred fencesitter]

My sexuality has been *very* fluid over the lifespan. And few things are as weird as when you identify as gay, are proud of it, are comfortable with it, and then realize that you are increasingly attracted to the opposite sex.

[Hockey Girl]

...And few things are as weird as when you identify as gay, are proud of it, are comfortable with it, and then realize that you are increasingly attracted to the opposite sex.

Amen brother...

[tenni]

Yes, my attraction is fluid but still unexplanable to me at times. There are a few variances that may have some other things going on in my head though. I'm a rather big failure at relationships with women. Been in love with many..really deeply. I seem to have decided that guys are easier to play with. Set up the rules of the game and go for it. I prefer to see it as an intimate friendship. I'm avoiding getting too close to women emotionally. I do not think that I am alone for a guy in my age bracket and more than one failed relationship.

I do look at everybody's ass that appeals to me though...woman or man...lol I find it strangely funny how either will turn my head. I think that either gender can turn my head sharper now than when I was a teen or in my 20's. I love summer as I get to check out the women in the grocery store. Its a northern thing that people from the south may not experience...all about the unwrapping after a snowy winter. Just yesterday, as I passed a check out counter my eyes floated down a woman's low cut top as she bent to pick something out of her cart. What can I say..pervert...unintentional. I just couldn't help myself...well I didn't know that my eyes were going there..:bigrin: I may check out a guy's calves but rarely his crotch unless extremely obvious and still don't really care...must still think that is forbidden or I'm not really cockcentric.

Sexually, I find that what I seem to want from a guy doesn't fit the stereotypical menu though. I don't want to have some guy in me at all. I will suck only to get sucked generally. It doesn't really turn me on to have oral with a guy. Kissing is kewl on the other hand and body exploration is extremely interesting.

I think that my ebb and flow was a bit wider at one time but never over the top for men. On the other hand, I am capable of developing emotional attachment to men...just not quite as strong as women. If the rules of the game are no emotional attachment, I can do that with a guy but not a woman. It seems a bit more than a fluidness but it comes out of the left corner and surprises me sometimes.