seeking practical advice for having sex with a women

[curiositykilleddacat]

I have recently come out as bisexual - I managed to ignore it for a crazily long time, thinking my attraction to girls was teenage stuff or convenient ruses for a commitment phobic, but in the last year something happened and some very lovely girls just started hitting on me - taking me completely by surprise but i couldn't (and won't!!)ignore the chemistry I discovered there! Then recently a friend who had thought of herself as straight told me that she is very attracted to me and would like to be with me, and we spent a(drunken) and wonderful night kissing like we could never stop. Then she wanted to take things further and asked me what I wanted her to do, and I had no idea! I am generally not very sexually experienced, but it seems with guys its more straightforward...or the girl *can* be more passive...now I have a maybe a stupid but vital question: how do women have sex? I would really like to be a good and generous and passionate lover... if anyone has any practical advice/links/etc. it would be much appreciated!!

[just4mefc]

I have recently come out as bisexual - I managed to ignore it for a crazily long time, thinking my attraction to girls was teenage stuff or convenient ruses for a commitment phobic, but in the last year something happened and some very lovely girls just started hitting on me - taking me completely by surprise but i couldn't (and won't!!)ignore the chemistry I discovered there! Then recently a friend who had thought of herself as straight told me that she is very attracted to me and would like to be with me, and we spent a(drunken) and wonderful night kissing like we could never stop. Then she wanted to take things further and asked me what I wanted her to do, and I had no idea! I am generally not very sexually experienced, but it seems with guys its more straightforward...or the girl *can* be more passive...now I have a maybe a stupid but vital question: how do women have sex? I would really like to be a good and generous and passionate lover... if anyone has any practical advice/links/etc. it would be much appreciated!!

I can't tell you, I would have to show you :tong:

[Jackofalltrades]

Oh dear god:eek: you are in the perfect spot.
Then recently a friend who had thought of herself as straight told me that she is very attracted to me and would like to be with me, and we spent a(drunken) and wonderful night kissing like we could never stop. Then she wanted to take things further and asked me what I wanted her to do, and I had no idea! I am generally not very sexually experienced, but it seems with guys its more straightforward...or the girl *can* be more passive...
Both of you are "inexperienced" with same sex, sex. Do you remember you first kiss, first trip to what we used to call 2nd base. You get to relive that feeling. The innocence, the fondling for far too long just because it feels so damn good. You have a chance to relive the BEST part of youth with out the pimples!
OK now that I am done with all the OMG you lucky girl stuff. I have had many friends, lovers, and one wife all have sex with women. from what I have learned, do to her what you like, and not what you do for your partner, but what really gets YOU off. Start very slow kiss parts of her body that one you like and want to touch, for me if it is a girl, the back, a man, the chest. Touch the parts of her body that when someone touches you there, you get that spark and tingle.
At this point ask her what makes her feel good and do it. Do you use toys? Does she? If so bring them you never know;)
Look I am NOT a woman so trust me givin enough time a bunch of the fine women on this site will chime in with some better advice. I just like to be helpful if I can.
Have fun, enjoy, and tell us how it went.
Jack

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Ahhhh Babygirl. There are So many ways for making love to/with a woman, delightful and different from making love with a man. Its sometimes softer and gentler, sometimes not. Women love to take their time and make sure the desire is warmed up properly, and alot of foreplay is Wonderful. There's tons of kissing, touching, arousing, tantalizing. That slow delicious build-up that arouses the mind and tingles the sense. There's toys and tongues, and lips aplenty, fingers probing and exciting, and lots of exploding if all is right.
I recommend it whole heartedly!
Cat, who now hasta have a cold shower...LOL:bigrin:

[TulsaTriad1]

I have a maybe a stupid but vital question: how do women have sex? I would really like to be a good and generous and passionate lover... if anyone has any practical advice/links/etc. it would be much appreciated!!

My experience as a late-blooming-bi with a generous and patient (though more experienced) lover would be to follow your own guidance, rather than looking for "how to have sex" tips.

Maybe you don't need practical advice as much as you need sweet time alone. What's the hurry?

I do identify, though, with your wish to be a "good and generous and passionate lover," and also with your anxiety over creating a fulfilling experience for your partner.

I think the one thing I would suggest you do differently is to tell your partner not to ask stupid questions during lovemaking! Or, if she asks it again, provide a non-verbal response.

You are definitely in a position to re-experience that first-time thrill you first had as a teen/young adult. Not just one thrill , actually, but many.

Make it last. Enjoy it. Don't be in a hurry to flip to the end of the book and see what the "right answer" is. Maybe that's not your answer, anyways....

And I would echo the previous comment that same-sex lovemaking has the advantage of having a first-person clue about what feels good to your partner. Do what you do when you're alone, or what you dream about, or what you remember from your best experiences, or what you always wished would happen.

But not all at once! Take it slow. And don't be afraid to laugh. Sex is fun, but it's also funny.

[darkeyes]

Do what you do when you're alone, or what you dream about, or what you remember from your best experiences, or what you always wished would happen.

But not all at once! Take it slow. And don't be afraid to laugh. Sex is fun, but it's also funny.

..and this is the best advice you can get..for a man Tulsa hun.. not bad..not bad at all..:) Do unto a lover what u wish a lover to do unto you, how you have always dreamt being made love to should be like, your wildest fantasy.. that is merely the starting point.. for the journey of discovery is only just beginning...

[curiositykilleddacat]

thank you everyone for your lovely and helpful responses...
this really is an amazing forum that you can ask things like this openly.
I have a couple of lesbian friends I could have spoken to but I felt somehow awkward about it...like it is taken for granted that you just know what to do.

This being bi thing is quite a trip! The other night I went to a queer party with a mixed crowd and I saw men and women I was attracted to and there were all these signals flying around and it was quite overwhelming!(and wonderful) don't know how I managed to block out all these possibilities for so long...

at the same time now I realise how skewed EVERYTHING is towards heterosexuality(heteronormative) every magazine tv program etc. so in any cosmo you can get tips for how to give the perfect blowjob but not, say, 10 tips for how to have crazily good sex with a women if you are a recently discovered bisexual girl...and then not even to mention the focus on homosexuality rather than multiple sexualities as has been commented on often on this site...

no wonder i couldn't recognise myself there are no "mirrors" anywhere!

anyway I see what you are all saying that this when it happens will be a sweet imperfect exploration with no "right way"...I guess I'll have to be vulnerable or something.

If there is any more advice/links to sites that ARE aimed at us with "10 tip" type sections, all would be welcome.

[kitten]

I agree that a good place to start is with what you like and to move gently and slowly. Always keep one hand or finger or leg or something touching your partner. Never lose contact. And above all else, look and listen.
Is she showing pleasure on her face and in her body movements? How is she responding? Ask and listen - Is this ok? Do you like it this way? Please guide me to the perfect spot...I like this and want to share it with you...
softer?...harder?
I realized my bi side in my early thirties and then it was overload and sensory stimulation to the max. It took a while before I could regain my senses and be in calm control to be the passionate lover I wanted to be. It ALL felt good! And some days that control just isnt there because I am so aroused in some form or another. Give yourself time to enjoy the new experiences and don't be too hard on yourself. Take time to find out what you enjoy as a giver as well as a reciever. The fact that you are asking and wanting to learn before you are with your partner shows an enormous amount of passion and care. Hugs,
Kitten