Why we fight over silly things...

[just4mefc]

The more I respond to various posts here the more I have come to realize two things, overall this is one very intelligent group of people. But we get so caught up in some really silly fights. As I say to my kids "you two can fight over an agreement" so to that I post this video link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ralgm95jeM&feature=player_embedded

Just something for all of us to ponder. Yes I include myself in the US

:grouphug:

[tenni]

First, a person would have to accept psychiatry and the Freudian approach to the mind. I don't.

There are so many other approaches to examine or explain human interaction and the mind. Human action and the causes for that action may be examined from a variety of other approaches such as an Adlerian approach where the personality is perceived as a whole rather than component Freudian or Jungian approaches. Behavioral Theories, Cognitive Theories, Developmental Theories, Personality Theories, Social Psychology Theories are all out their to explain human behaviour. They certainly seem more logical explanations to me than some term such as Ego.

As far as conflict between humans, there are many approaches that seem to hold humans more responsible for their actions and not some ID, Ego, Super Ego explanation. Past experiences may play a role in how a person handles conflict. What a person values is formed by many external factors as well as internal factors. A person may hold a value and when another person holds a differing value there is a potential for conflict over what you or I may consider "silly".

Then there are the conditions of psychopathology and abnormality such as anti social personality disorder (good ol sociopath). People who create their own world where they are always correct based upon their internal needs regardless of external values, perception of "truth" or "lies" and other external factors.

[Annika L]

Do we get to have a silly fight now over why we have silly fights? I can hardly wait. :rolleyes:

[tenni]

If you chose to see it as a fight rather than a discussion, what does that indicate ?:bigrin:

[Annika L]

*smile* If you choose to see my post as a viewpoint rather than as a question, what does that indicate?

[tenni]

We're having fun:bigrin:

but a different form of fun than how some may see fun...perhaps due to their past experiences.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Becuz its the nature of humans, Hon. Its becuz its how we be...its in our DNA. :tongue:
Cat

[just4mefc]

First, a person would have to accept psychiatry and the Freudian approach to the mind. I don't.

There are so many other approaches to examine or explain human interaction and the mind. Human action and the causes for that action may be examined from a variety of other approaches such as an Adlerian approach where the personality is perceived as a whole rather than component Freudian or Jungian approaches. Behavioral Theories, Cognitive Theories, Developmental Theories, Personality Theories, Social Psychology Theories are all out their to explain human behaviour. They certainly seem more logical explanations to me than some term such as Ego.

As far as conflict between humans, there are many approaches that seem to hold humans more responsible for their actions and not some ID, Ego, Super Ego explanation. Past experiences may play a role in how a person handles conflict. What a person values is formed by many external factors as well as internal factors. A person may hold a value and when another person holds a differing value there is a potential for conflict over what you or I may consider "silly".

Then there are the conditions of psychopathology and abnormality such as anti social personality disorder (good ol sociopath). People who create their own world where they are always correct based upon their internal needs regardless of external values, perception of "truth" or "lies" and other external factors.

I totally knew you would be the first to start a fight. This is like a situation comedy... "people with hurt ego often lash out at others" say I, you reply "fuck you I don't have an ego" ROFLMFAO

You saw the video, your ego got its typical panties in a wad and here we go again. I posted this for people to PONDER but your ego would have none of it. So entrenched as to not even consider that your typical slam everyone who dis-agrees with you approach might be your ego speaking? I am not suggesting that we as humans are not responsible for our actions simply because we have an ego. I am agreeing with freud et al that the ego is often hurt insecure little guy with constant need to be right, to be affirmed etc. So do you assert that all the other theories believe the ego is non-exsistent? I don't see it that way. I see all the various additional theories as attempting to apply additional and perhaps alternative answers. But then again I am not invested in what the answers might be. I think each has a place. Being more logical is often not the answer in my opinion. Since most of these address the emotional well being. I personally feel a more integrated approach that includes the various options and theories is of the greatest value. I agree that freud is not the end all of all things psych and that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. But that does not mean freud was completely wrong on everything. In my view freudian psych does have its place and to simply discard his work is naive.

[tenni]

Instead of entering a discussion, you have chose to attack. Interesting and revealing motivation. Our values are different. cheers

[just4mefc]

Instead of entering a discussion, you have chose to attack. Interesting and revealing motivation. Our values are different. cheers

Hmm perhaps I have read your post wrong and you meant this as a discussion and not to start a fight? Well there goes my little ego jumping up and down in my pants. I apologize I actually thought from the tone of your post that YOU were starting another fight. :confused:

Sorry guess I have been in too many wars here lately. Ok someone spank me
:bowdown:

Guess I better go watch my own post a few more times arghhhhh

[DuckiesDarling]

Hmm perhaps I have read your post wrong and you meant this as a discussion and not to start a fight? Well there goes my little ego jumping up and down in my pants. I apologize I actually thought from the tone of your post that YOU were starting another fight. :confused:

Sorry guess I have been in too many wars here lately. Ok someone spank me
:bowdown:

Guess I better go watch my own post a few more times arghhhhh

*Spanks Just* and no I will not kiss it and make it better :tong:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Ooo,ooo! I gots a big soft lap you can bend him over his spankin! lol
(Getting back at Just for the 'kiss' incident) :tongue:
Cat, laughing

[citystyleguy]

....and they're off! once again, a self-fullfilling title, so i am outta here, and off to the gym! :tongue:

[darkeyes]

Silly fites?? Neva..not on ya Nellie.. jus cos u lot say suga an me says shite..wots silly bout that???? :bigrin:

[void()]

Void picks up bong again, ensures it isn't tobacco ... tokes ... ponders, reflects, slowly exhales.

"Sorry, I just keep concluding tenni is the anti-christ, not that I believe in christ, yet tenni is the anti. We must abolish this tenni being ... get in the ship, go into orbit and nuke the whole planet ... only way to be sure."

Void goes back to trying out a function to make cheesey poofs.

[tenni]

Void
LOL

[just4mefc]

Just want to say publicly in spite of my "way to quick" to perceive a fight on this post. I inherently like Tenni. I sometimes feel a tone to his posts but I really think it comes more from writing style and the occasional frustration that "forum speak" brings. I am certain there will be many more a disagreement between us, but he brings many a good fight.

My post of the video came from seeing so many fights in threads that were started as light and fun. Hell we had full blown insults going on in a thread about puzzles.

The ego is ever present in my opinion. I say "when ones ego is hurt or perceives it is, the person will attack" usual reply "Fuck you I don't have an ego" THAT is our ego. Ego can be like Gollum vs Smeagol from Lord of the rings...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJkiN4-eo8I&feature=related

AT this point in the film Smeagol is ok, he is fine all is well. He has been accepted by the group, but Gollum (his ego) will have non of that. Gollum goes to work once again to take control of Smeagol. But this time Smeagol fights back (ponders really) and banishes Gollum forever. Of course as the film continues we discover that Gollum (the ego) is never really gone, always lurking just off camera at the ready to take over in a moments notice. This is such a great scene showing the constant battles that exist within us all. But just like the end of this scene we can win battles with our ego. But the ego never really goes away.

So here is how I think my ego was exposed on this post. I was having a reflective moment "what is up with all this fighting" kind of thing and I came across the video on ego and thought I should post this. My ego said "whoa there partner don't post it, someone will start a fight with you for sure"..."oh shutup ego no one would start a fight over this", ego "yes they will, they don't really like you they know you are an idiot", me "oh stop it already" ego "fine but I warned you... but then again perhaps they will see us as brilliant and love us... ok go ahead", me "omg do you ever stop? who cares if a few people don't like it, or if some think its great relax already, others might see the point so I am gonna post it, now go away ego and leave me alone"... I Post the video and something like 14 people view it with no reply "cool people are watching the video" say I but ego is there to interject "but no one has posted a reply, see I told you it's of no value"... "Dude shutup already I see what you are doing" so ego loses his strength, puts his tail between his legs walk's off to hide in the corner. Hey look a post , no two posts cool... Ego creeps back into the center of the room, I start to read Tenni's post is there a tone to this reply, ego whispers "of course there is a tone" I think calm down ego and read the next post that says "looks like the start of a fight" Now ego seizes the moment "see I told you there IS a tone, she sees it why don't you... I knew some one would start a fight.. i told you sooo.. you are stupid... they all see it... you gonna let him do that to you?... quick strike back... look out, move over let me type... you should have listened to me in the first place..." to this I am overwhelmed, ego is now in charge! I try to argue back "just another opinion, chill out" but too late ego as been feeding in the corner for too long.

Now all of this happened in a flash, in the background more sub-consious kind of thing. Then I see Tenni's surprise at my reply and ego trying to sneak out of the room "where do you think you are going" ego reply's "not my fault tenni started it.. it was him.. we were right... he.. no she... I" oh shut up you pain in my ass now back to your corner to lick your wounds

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

LOL Just, I luffs ya dispite the fact that you're a wicked wicked man, but Dayummm, you gotta cut back on them Cappuccinos, Sweetie..lol:bigrin:;)
Cat

[just4mefc]

LOL Just, I luffs ya dispite the fact that you're a wicked wicked man, but Dayummm, you gotta cut back on them Cappuccinos, Sweetie..lol:bigrin:;)
Cat

Must be something in the green tea? :bigrin:

[Canticle]

Very amusing post, just4mefc. Good sense of humour.

[Annika L]

...I Post the video and something like 14 people view it with no reply "cool people are watching the video" say I but ego is there to interject "but no one has posted a reply, see I told you it's of no value"... "Dude shutup already I see what you are doing" so ego loses his strength, puts his tail between his legs walk's off to hide in the corner. Hey look a post , no two posts cool... Ego creeps back into the center of the room, I start to read Tenni's post is there a tone to this reply, ego whispers "of course there is a tone" I think calm down ego and read the next post that says "looks like the start of a fight" Now ego seizes the moment "see I told you there IS a tone, she sees it why don't you... I knew some one would start a fight.. i told you sooo.. you are stupid... they all see it... you gonna let him do that to you?... quick strike back... look out, move over let me type... you should have listened to me in the first place..." to this I am overwhelmed, ego is now in charge! I try to argue back "just another opinion, chill out" but too late ego as been feeding in the corner for too long.

Now all of this happened in a flash, in the background more sub-consious kind of thing. Then I see Tenni's surprise at my reply and ego trying to sneak out of the room "where do you think you are going" ego reply's "not my fault tenni started it.. it was him.. we were right... he.. no she... I" oh shut up you pain in my ass now back to your corner to lick your wounds

OMG!! Y'mean my little "Do we get to have a silly fight now over why we have silly fights? I can hardly wait. :rolleyes:" caused all that?? I feel so powerful as to be dangerous! *makes a note to restrain self in future*

Just4me, don't let anyone call you stupid...especially your stupid ego! You are genuinely insightful, reflective, and well-spoken (not to mention diplomatic at a level I envy).

Void, tenni isn't the anti-christ...just the anti-void.

Tenni...tag, you're it! :tong:

[just4mefc]

OMG!! Y'mean my little "Do we get to have a silly fight now over why we have silly fights? I can hardly wait. :rolleyes:" caused all that?? I feel so powerful as to be dangerous! *makes a note to restrain self in future*

Just4me, don't let anyone call you stupid...especially your stupid ego! You are genuinely insightful, reflective, and well-spoken (not to mention diplomatic at a level I envy).

Void, tenni isn't the anti-christ...just the anti-void.

Tenni...tag, you're it! :tong:

Wish I could blame you Annika, this self responsibility crap wears me out :bigrin: Please do not ever restrain your complicated self, that would be a true tragedy. Thanks for the kind words, I will aspire to live up to them :)

[Annika L]

Wish I could blame you Annika, this self responsibility crap wears me out :bigrin: Please do not ever restrain your complicated self, that would be a true tragedy. Thanks for the kind words, I will aspire to live up to them :)

Hey! Are you calling me complicated?? I said I was complex (in the labels thread)...there's a difference, y'know! ;)

In all seriousness, though...there are plenty who would like to see me in restraints...for various reasons. But as always our only shackles are the ones we choose...at least until the Man gets to you.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

LOL I'm not complex...I'm just oddly unique unto myself. :bigrin:
Cat

[Bluebiyou]

I think the Gollum vs Smeagol conflict went beyond a personal conflict with the ego. It more closely resembled (formerly referred to as schitzophrenia) Dissociative identity disorder. I'm afraid it's thorizine for Gollum/Smeagol.


AT this point in the film Smeagol is ok, he is fine all is well. He has been accepted by the group, but Gollum (his ego) will have non of that. Gollum goes to work once again to take control of Smeagol. But this time Smeagol fights back (ponders really) and banishes Gollum forever. Of course as the film continues we discover that Gollum (the ego) is never really gone, always lurking just off camera at the ready to take over in a moments notice. This is such a great scene showing the constant battles that exist within us all. But just like the end of this scene we can win battles with our ego. But the ego never really goes away.

*Asking Gollum/Smeagol*
So who are we today, Sybil?

(actually pretty good post just4me)

[just4mefc]

I think the Gollum vs Smeagol conflict went beyond a personal conflict with the ego. It more closely resembled (formerly referred to as schitzophrenia) Dissociative identity disorder. I'm afraid it's thorizine for Gollum/Smeagol.

*Asking Gollum/Smeagol*
So who are we today, Sybil?

(actually pretty good post just4me)

Yeah could certainly be used to demonstrate dissociative identity disorder (aka multiple personality disorder) as well. But we all do, at times have rather grand internal ego conflicts. One thing is sure poor Smeagol better up the dosage!

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have multiple personality disorder
and so do I... and me too :bigrin:

[tenni]

Ok I'm going to try to articulate my thoughts on this why we fight topic. As I stated and have been PMing with Just4, I find it difficult to accept that the Freudian "Ego" is responsible. Just4's explanation was really good though. I find that Hollywood, some artists and such writers as Tolkens lean heavily towards Freudian and Jungian explanations about our reality and how we live in our reality.

What I think is going on is about a threat to self whether it is an internal or external threat. In particular, I wonder if our personal "right and wrong" codes are being challenged. Now, I don't completely buy into the Adlerian approach either but at least the Adlerian approach includes an understanding of the whole person. There is no "Ego" separate from the rest of us but there are perceptions of self and an idealized perception of how others see us / how we perceive the world functions even if it doesn't align with how we see ourselves.

Now, that is a bit confusing. I think that if we focus on our personal "right and wrong" codes, we may travel further along. If we use the Gollum/Smeagol one is our internal "right" and the other our internal "wrong" aspect of our personal codes. Whether we have an internal struggle about how we should interact in the world or a more overt external force , we find our basic core challenged. We try to keep an equilibrium and maintain our personal codes to avoid stress.

When the threat to self and our codes come from outside such as a person holding a different persepective, we stand up. Our alarms go off. We may feel threatened as far as how and who we are inside. We may fight or flee. We may enter into a conflict resolution approach but I'm guessing that since our personal codes are being challenged we can not act neutral enough fo that to work without a third party. We may try to reason with the force that is challenging our perception of ourself and our internal/external realities. Now, someone else may not be threatened and see us as acting silly. Until we re assure ourself that there is not real threat, we fight...or flee. It is also possible that through conflict that we reset or alter our personal codes about right and wrong. Many bisexuals have gone through such a process to maintain a personal right and wrong code that may not align with the mainstream codes. Rejection of external mainstream codes may be necessary to reduce our internal stress.

[just4mefc]

Ok I'm going to try to articulate my thoughts on this why we fight topic. As I stated and have been PMing with Just4, I find it difficult to accept that the Freudian "Ego" is responsible. Just4's explanation was really good though. I find that Hollywood, some artists and such writers as Tolkens lean heavily towards Freudian and Jungian explanations about our reality and how we live in our reality.

What I think is going on is about a threat to self whether it is an internal or external threat. In particular, I wonder if our personal "right and wrong" codes are being challenged. Now, I don't completely buy into the Adlerian approach either but at least the Adlerian approach includes an understanding of the whole person. There is no "Ego" separate from the rest of us but there are perceptions of self and an idealized perception of how others see us / how we perceive the world functions even if it doesn't align with how we see ourselves.

Now, that is a bit confusing. I think that if we focus on our personal "right and wrong" codes, we may travel further along. If we use the Gollum/Smeagol one is our internal "right" and the other our internal "wrong" aspect of our personal codes. Whether we have an internal struggle about how we should interact in the world or a more overt external force , we find our basic core challenged. We try to keep an equilibrium and maintain our personal codes to avoid stress.

When the threat to self and our codes come from outside such as a person holding a different persepective, we stand up. Our alarms go off. We may feel threatened as far as how and who we are inside. We may fight or flee. We may enter into a conflict resolution approach but I'm guessing that since our personal codes are being challenged we can not act neutral enough fo that to work without a third party. We may try to reason with the force that is challenging our perception of ourself and our internal/external realities. Now, someone else may not be threatened and see us as acting silly. Until we re assure ourself that there is not real threat, we fight...or flee. It is also possible that through conflict that we reset or alter our personal codes about right and wrong. Many bisexuals have gone through such a process to maintain a personal right and wrong code that may not align with the mainstream codes. Rejection of external mainstream codes may be necessary to reduce our internal stress.

Great Points Tenni,

I am certainly NOT saying that EGO is the only thing working here, nor am I saying ego is some perfect excuse for our actions, far from it in fact. But ego is part of all the scenarios you point out. So by facing our ego's we can acknowledge and calm them. I feel, often our hidden egos or (concept of self, et al) are secretly pulling our strings. We think ourselves peaceful and yet flip off some asshole that cut me off while driving.. there is a disconnect of self image and self actualization. Lord help the significant other who says something at the moment too (whats the big deal honey... ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID DIDN'T YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID TO ME...) often the inflamed ego is covertly overwhelming the self image. I only suggest these things as points to ponder for our own self enlightenment if you will. By evaluating my ego I might be able to calm it sooner, the next time I read something or get cut off. This understanding of our egos can be part of the process for what the behaviorist might ask "how did that work out" kind of thing. So ego concept does not have to be restricted to the pure Freudian model.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

When the threat to self and our codes come from outside such as a person holding a different persepective, we stand up. Our alarms go off. We may feel threatened as far as how and who we are inside. We may fight or flee. We may enter into a conflict resolution approach but I'm guessing that since our personal codes are being challenged we can not act neutral enough fo that to work without a third party. We may try to reason with the force that is challenging our perception of ourself and our internal/external realities. Now, someone else may not be threatened and see us as acting silly. Until we re assure ourself that there is not real threat, we fight...or flee. It is also possible that through conflict that we reset or alter our personal codes about right and wrong.

Wow. Something we actually agree on for once. Good show.
And it can also be said that if someone does the attack or constant insult or harassing thing, some of us get down right tetchy about it and take a stand. Some of us are just scrappy by nature, too. Either way, its human emotions and as long as there's humans, its gunna happen. lol It's how we deal with it that matters most.
Cat

[just4mefc]

When the threat to self and our codes come from outside such as a person holding a different persepective, we stand up. Our alarms go off. We may feel threatened as far as how and who we are inside. We may fight or flee. We may enter into a conflict resolution approach but I'm guessing that since our personal codes are being challenged we can not act neutral enough fo that to work without a third party. We may try to reason with the force that is challenging our perception of ourself and our internal/external realities. Now, someone else may not be threatened and see us as acting silly. Until we re assure ourself that there is not real threat, we fight...or flee. It is also possible that through conflict that we reset or alter our personal codes about right and wrong.

Wow. Something we actually agree on for once. Good show.
And it can also be said that if someone does the attack or constant insult or harassing thing, some of us get down right tetchy about it and take a stand. Some of us are just scrappy by nature, too. Either way, its human emotions and as long as there's humans, its gunna happen. lol It's how we deal with it that matters most.
Cat


My feet are so damn cold and now I know why, cat and tenni agreeing on something must mean hell has frozen over :tongue:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Hey, stranger things can happen. I could look at him and said "Kissie kissie" but that woulda been a stretch. Dont wanna traumatize the man Too much.:bigrin:
Just because people dont always agree doesnt mean that they Wont. Its like winning the lottery..it can happen. He wont always agree with me, I wont always agree with Him. So cherish the moment..LMAO
Cat

[void()]

Hm. tenni is the anti-void?

Oh well not everyone can be void. You must obtain first rubber sticker from guv-mint saying you is reject.Young grasshopper / Luke be you void only then.

[Annika L]

I think we fight over silly things because we like silly things so much. Consider the simple logic:

Why do we fight over cookies? Because we like cookies!
Why do we fight over money? Because we like money!
Why do we fight over fertile river valleys? Because we like fertile river valleys!
Why do we fight over silly things? Because we like silly things!

And yet there must be more to it, mustn't there? I mean, clown noses are pretty silly, right? But put a bunch of us in a room and toss in a clown nose, and the reaction would be something like, "um...ok, I guess you can have that, tenni." But you can bet that if there *was* a fight, it would be because more than one person fancied that nose!

Ok, on the ego thing...I don't think you have to swallow the pop-psych version of Freud in order to realize that what he was proposing was a useful *model* for considering internal behavior. He wasn't actually proposing that we have little people inside us who carry out gollum-like dialogs (and tenni, Tolkien wrote nothing vaguely Freudian/Jungian...that whole scene, brilliant as it was, was invented by Fran Walsh and Phillipa Boyens...Tolkien didn't offer explanations...just wonderful story).

I think it's fairly clear-cut that we respond with hostility when we find something of value to us under attack, whether that thing of value is a favored political ideology, our favorite breed of dog, our intelligence, or the cookies, and whether or not said thing is *actually* under attack (we don't tend to stop long enough to determine that). This follows the Freudian model pretty closely...just without Freud's jargon.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

*Leering@Annika* Wanna plate'a cookies Lil Girl? lol:bigrin:
Bad Cat

[darkeyes]

Me jus a simple girl.. no need for big complex analysis a wy we hav gobby fites.. we r peeps.. an we disagree .. big issue or small matta.. we disagree.. thats all..

Now that wosn so hard 2 undastand wos it? :)

[just4mefc]

Me jus a simple girl.. no need for big complex analysis a wy we hav gobby fites.. we r peeps.. an we disagree .. big issue or small matta.. we disagree.. thats all..

Now that wosn so hard 2 undastand wos it? :)

An excellent Taoist reply :) (what is... is!)

Understand when I say "fight" I don't mean disagree or argue, I mean attack each other on a personal level.

But being the Taoist I am, I must always ask what is my true nature and why am I not in tune with that at this moment? Great example is many ppl here seem to have issue with Tenni. I have had more then a few disagreements with him for sure. But when I feel the energy of ego, when I am in touch with the fact ego is always lurking in the corner I can stop get my ego out of the way and see that Tenni is a sharp passionate guy. His apparent attempt at a fight, might just be my ego. If it is a fight I don't have to let my ego fight back. But when I think I am totally in charge ego sneaks back to center stage.

Example, last night I was driving and I was severely cut off by another driver. I flashed my headlights as I made an evasive lane change. As I pulled along side the 80 year old female driver flips me off.... I started laughing it was so funny. She could barely see over the steering wheel and she was emphatically flipping me off. Now at other times I might have gone ape shit, flip her off get angry be cussing like a crazy man. What is the difference between this event and others. NOTHING the event is the same but my response was different. Some say "well you were in a better mood" ok but what is at the core of that moment? For whatever reason my ego did not feel threatened at that time. My ego had no need to "prove itself", it saw the situation as a near-hit and a funny image. Of course that is exactly what it was.

Now Darkeyes, I would observe, you are far from being a "simple gurl" In my humble opinion, you are a deep well indeed!

[just4mefc]

I think we fight over silly things because we like silly things so much. Consider the simple logic:

Why do we fight over cookies? Because we like cookies!
Why do we fight over money? Because we like money!
Why do we fight over fertile river valleys? Because we like fertile river valleys!
Why do we fight over silly things? Because we like silly things!

And yet there must be more to it, mustn't there? I mean, clown noses are pretty silly, right? But put a bunch of us in a room and toss in a clown nose, and the reaction would be something like, "um...ok, I guess you can have that, tenni." But you can bet that if there *was* a fight, it would be because more than one person fancied that nose!

Ok, on the ego thing...I don't think you have to swallow the pop-psych version of Freud in order to realize that what he was proposing was a useful *model* for considering internal behavior...

I think it's fairly clear-cut that we respond with hostility when we find something of value to us under attack, whether that thing of value is a favored political ideology, our favorite breed of dog, our intelligence, or the cookies, and whether or not said thing is *actually* under attack (we don't tend to stop long enough to determine that). This follows the Freudian model pretty closely...just without Freud's jargon.

Excellent points! But let me expand on this, the problem is we often think we are fighting over something silly. She fancies the clown nose, I appear to want the clown nose. She fights for the clown nose, I too fight for the clown nose... We are consciously fighting for the silly clown nose. But internally we couldn't care less about the clown nose. But at my core (my ego), I must win just to show everyone else I am better then her. She fights cause her father gave her such a nose when she was young, it means she is loved to have the nose. At her core she sees the clown nose as a statement to her worth as a human being. If she loses the nose then she is clearly not worthy of love. I need it to uphold my personal image as the strongest person in the room. If I lose I am exposed for the internal weak man I fear I am. So not only are we not fighting over the clown nose, we are not even fighting over the same thing.

Of course sometimes all that is BS. It is just a clown nose and we are both clowns who could use it for work. :rotate:

[Annika L]

Excellent points! But let me expand on this, the problem is we often think we are fighting over something silly. She fancies the clown nose, I appear to want the clown nose. She fights for the clown nose, I too fight for the clown nose... We are consciously fighting for the silly clown nose. But internally we couldn't care less about the clown nose. But at my core (my ego), I must win just to show everyone else I am better then her. She fights cause her father gave her such a nose when she was young, it means she is loved to have the nose. At her core she sees the clown nose as a statement to her worth as a human being. If she loses the nose then she is clearly not worthy of love. I need it to uphold my personal image as the strongest person in the room. If I lose I am exposed for the internal weak man I fear I am. So not only are we not fighting over the clown nose, we are not even fighting over the same thing.

Of course sometimes all that is BS. It is just a clown nose and we are both clowns who could use it for work. :rotate:

*sobs, lip quivering* b-but...how did you know about daddy? When I lost that nose when I was 11, I was devastated, and n-now...you're gonna take it away from me again??? Just to make your stupid nasty point??? *collapses in tears, utterly unworthy of love*

[just4mefc]

*sobs, lip quivering* b-but...how did you know about daddy? When I lost that nose when I was 11, I was devastated, and n-now...you're gonna take it away from me again??? Just to make your stupid nasty point??? *collapses in tears, utterly unworthy of love*

Offers her a shiny new clown nose, in fact a whole box cause she is indeed very worthy of love :tongue:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Annika?? You want I should boob bop him for ya! I will if ya wants me to! lol
Cat:bigrin:

[Annika L]

Offers her a shiny new clown nose, in fact a whole box cause she is indeed very worthy of love :tongue:

*throws her arms around just4me's neck and gives him a big appreciative hug* Do we now need a thread about "Why we make up over silly things"? :tong:

[void()]

Void stumbles by whistling something illogical. "Nope, I been poking 'round, got irrefutable proof tenni is the anti. Oh, yeah ... anti-void. Hm ..."

Void implodes in a paradox, only to return as TermiVoid. "Autobots, roll out!"

[mikey3000]

You's all are over thinking this. Simple answer?...

Internet balls.