Attraction

[2fucked]

Is it possible that a guy would want to have sex with another guy, but not be attracted to men in any way (other than their obvious bits)?

[fredtyg]

I think so. I believe I've been like that to some extent all my life. I've nearly always (and think I still do now) preferred women for emotional intimacy and for just plain looking at.

Yet I've always had sexual desires for guys. Sometimes I might be equally interested in guys and girls, sexually. Other periods of my life I might have been more interested more in one over the other.

At this point in my life I'm sexually interested 100% in guys, and have been for years, but I'm not sure I've found much other reason to be attracted to them. I'd like to think I could get a strong emotional attachment to one, thus my man to man marriage fantasies.

I don't know that I've felt that way with any man, so far, with the exception of one. I realized after the fact I might well have married that guy, if the opportunity presented itself. But most other guys I seem to only be interested in sexually.

[citystyleguy]

hell, no! i want the whole and complete guy; if i'm only horny, i'll hire an escort!

[fredtyg]

Why would you want to hire an escort when you know someone who might be able to take care of you for free?

Hey, I'd love to be attracted to a guy for reasons other than sex, but I think I've only known a handful of guys I've been sexual with where there was more to the relation than just sex. Heck, maybe only one or two guys.

Most of the guys I've been with, I was with for only one reason: sex, and I'd never see them for anything else but that.

Sounds cheap, and I suppose it is, but that's also the way it was (and is?).

[just4mefc]

I would suspect this is the single largest section of the bisexual community.

I once thought of myself as part of this group. I called myself Tri-sexual at that time. Try anything.

I still tend to be more "attracted" to women. But love sex with both just about equally.

[wrzwldo69]

all of us cum from different places
for me the broader feeling of my sexuality evolved overtime
earlier in my life, occasional experience with other guys was what worked for resolving my need to grasp my nature ;)

then there was some time where I just did not want to entertain these ideas

as I have become a BIt more reconciled to my nature, what i find interesting has broadened

while always having a preference to mfm action, mm action has gotten more interesting

these days i find myself enjoying the image of a very hard cock doing what it does best as much as parts it typically does it to

so i think for bi guys it is both a transition and a range


wudi

[Gay2Bi]

I come at it from the opposite side - I used to be exclusively gay, but as I moved into my 30's, that started to change. At the same time, I don't find myself attracted to women romantically beyond friendship. So, yes, I guess I want to have sex with women, but I'm not attracted to them beyond the obvious bits. Why this is, I haven't a clue. I'm still trying to work it out myself. (That's part of the reason I joined this site.)

Part of it, I think, is that I spent so much of my adult life viewing myself as gay, that the idea of romantic attraction to women is still something I can't quite wrap my mind around. I've made peace with the sex part, but love...well, I guess I still consider myself "mostly gay," so that's going to take more time.

[fredtyg]

. At the same time, I don't find myself attracted to women romantically beyond friendship. So, yes, I guess I want to have sex with women, but I'm not attracted to them beyond the obvious bits.

Part of it, I think, is that I spent so much of my adult life viewing myself as gay, that the idea of romantic attraction to women is still something I can't quite wrap my mind around.

I'm thinking that the key to finding love and romance between two guys probably has to do with prior knowledge of each other and not coming in to the relationship with love or romance as a goal.

That one guy I fell in love with (and still love) I'd known for years before the relationship really got going. I knew him quite well already. Then I outed myself to him and he accepted me, even to the point of sexual activity. I ended up deeply in love with him before I chased him off.

The vast majority of other guys I've been with it was for sex only so no relationship ever developed.

[Biboz49]

Is it possible that a guy would want to have sex with another guy, but not be attracted to men in any way (other than their obvious bits)?

For me it started out as just for sex but quickly found I needed to know the guy more before becoming sexual and developing a friendship. This would start through emails and chatting. After gaining some familiarity and eventually meeting to make sure there was a "click" then it became sexual. For me all that preliminary stuff is sort of like foreplay lol.

[Realist]

I feel the same way.

When I discovered my sexuality, I was very selfish and took more than I gave. But, during my 3rd relationship, I fell in love and soon learned how caring for someone magnified every emotion, every feeling. Orgasms were no longer pleasurable, but mind-numbing!

I am not interested in having sex with either gender without knowing what makes them tick. I want to know that I can please them as well as be pleased by them. Better yet, if we have mutual interests and can communicate reasonably well, too.

But, that's just me..................

[Gay2Bi]

I'm thinking that the key to finding love and romance between two guys probably has to do with prior knowledge of each other and not coming in to the relationship with love or romance as a goal.

That one guy I fell in love with (and still love) I'd known for years before the relationship really got going. I knew him quite well already. Then I outed myself to him and he accepted me, even to the point of sexual activity. I ended up deeply in love with him before I chased him off.

The vast majority of other guys I've been with it was for sex only so no relationship ever developed.

That really is the key to success with any relationship. If you don't know someone well enought to be friends with them, romance is out of the question. I think for me, I'm just resisting going beyond friendship with women because on some level I still think of myself as gay, even though a glance at my porn collection would indicate otherwise.

It's sort of like coming out all over again - I first had to accept my sexual attraction to men, then I had to accept my emotional attraction. In my mind, it was okay to "fool around" with guys at the start, but it had to be no-strings because I wasn't comfortable with having an emotional attachment to another guy. Only when I got past that was I able to have meaningful relationships with men. With women, I've accepted the sexual attraction, but I still haven't quite accepted that a relationship might also be on the table.

As a writer, I've learned that what I resist is what I have to write about. I think the same thing applies to my life in general. Right now, I'm still holding onto my "gay identity" even though it's no longer accurate and I'm resisting the possibility of a relationship with a woman. But I keep pushing the limits of my comfort zone, and slowly but surely those limits are expanding. It'll be nice one day to be able to look back on all of this resistance and wonder what the big deal was about.

[RockGardener]

I am equally able to fall in love with a man or a woman. I have had relationships with both that were just sex. I have been in love with a few guys in my life, and am madly in love with a wonderful woman right now.

On the other hand, a former lover of mine loves women but loves sex with men. He feels nothing in his heart for men, the only feelings are in his loins.

I hope this added to the conversation. Whatever you feel, that's the right thing for you.

[newyorker]

i love women. But I long for sex with men. I never find men attractive until their cock is in my face. Then I can't get enough of them. Wish I could find a steady men to have sex with. Not really interested in one night stands.

[bikiniman]

Is it possible that a guy would want to have sex with another guy, but not be attracted to men in any way (other than their obvious bits)?

Yes it is possible, I want to have sex with another guy but I am not attracted to men like I am attracted to women. I have no desire for a relationship I just want to have sex with another guy. I love the feeling of anal stimulation and reckon another guys cock up my ass would feel great.

[Realist]

Like Rock Gardner said,

"I am equally able to fall in love with a man or a woman. I have had relationships with both that were just sex. I have been in love with a few guys in my life, and am madly in love with a wonderful woman right now."

I've been in love with 3 guys in my life and feel I could have lived happily with them, forever. However, the era and area, in which those relationships occurred, were not conducive to that happening. I have had more mostly sexual relationships, 6 other men. But, I've never had, nor wanted, a one night stand, or sex with a stranger of either gender. Whether I'm attracted to a male, or female, I cannot function well without knowing a person well and trusting them, first.

I've truly loved a few ladies in my day as well. Even married three of them!

Now, I find that I am in the most rewarding relationship of my life, with a fantastic bisexual lady, who I met right here on this site. Our attractions were begun with mutual interests, thoughts, and desires. They continued until we met, then an emotional bond, physicality, and sensuousness followed.

Although I am very attracted to her voluptuousness, intellect, open- mindedness, and demeanor, there is a mental connection that is far more powerful than any I've experienced before.

So, I'd say that our cerebral compatibility is the most powerful attraction we share.

[pabicur27]

I have no desire to have a relationship with a man (meaning, I am not attracted to them), but I do want to have sex with one.

[berryhard]

yes, for sure. personally im only interested in the "obvious bits". cock, balls, nipples, ass etc. not into kissing face. That said the rest of the body should be pleaseing or apealing or the attraction is lost.
and anything is possible !

[by~his~side]

My husband is bi and has never entered into a relationship with another guy with the idea that love, romance or an emotional attachment could be forthcoming. That mindset is 99% of the reason that I am able to accept his bi realtionship. I know he thinks his (bi) friend is attractive, intelligent, passionate, funny and has excellent technique....but none of that makes him emotionally attached to his friend. He'd miss this guys physical attention should something happen and he (the bi friend) one day not be around but my husband would be devastated if something should happen to his best friend and he (the best friend) one day was not around. There has never been nor will there ever be anything sexual between hubby and his best bud-and it is an emotional attachment. I can handle the best friend with the emotional attachment and I can handle the lover who is there for sex but I'd never be able to handle my husband having a lover with whom he has an emotional attachment.
Thanks for reading...
~D~