sex toys and sexuality

[Long Duck Dong]

I was asked by a close friend about my sexuality and sex toys

the question was a interesting one and simple

if a female uses a dildo or a strap on, on a male, does that make him bi sexual

my answer was no... at the start...lol

it raises a interesting question tho once i sat and thought about it
the usage of a strap on with another person doesn't make a person bi sexual in the sense that the person is not actively sexually makng contact with another person of the same sex , but they are entertaining and indulging in a form of sexual contact that normally can be done with another person of the same sex
BUT does bisexual mean having active or inactive sexual conections with both sexes, or does it mean that the person is attracted to both sexes without having to indulge in sexual contact

its in the same sense of a nun that is celibate her full life, in general terms most people would refer to her as heterosexual..... but noting the fact that that was no sexual contact to define her sexuality, how can she be truely defined as heterosexual

I have a friend that for all intents and purposes is hetero ( never slept with a people of the same sex ) but has his partner use a strap on on him, they both watch straight, gay and bi dvds and they both define themselves as bisexuals as they both entertain the ideas of sexual practises with the same sex but both have never been with the same sex

how do other people view this ???

[Tx46M]

Toys are just toys and have multiple uses and places to use them and the use of them there of does not change ones gender preference. Just my :2cents: ...

[texasman6172003]

The fact that a woman may use a strapon on a man in my opinion in no way makes that person bi. They are just enjoying that particular sex act. Toys are toys,like Txm46 said,there there for our enjoyment,,Charles,,,Tex....

[coknballiker]

In my view, a woman using a strap on does NOT make HER bisexual as this would require an attraction on her part toward other women. It may be a hint that the man is bisexual but just enjoying anal sex doesn't mean this either. Bisexual is the attraction to both sexes. This can be a latent attraction that is never acted on so just because someone hasn't slept with someone of the same sex doesn't mean they are not bisexual. It is a mindset. nothing more. I agree with Tx. toys are toys and nothing more....

[costablanca]

A but is a but!
Looks pretty much the same, same nerve endings, same glands, same feelings.
If we see a dildo in a girls ass, nobody thinks she is gay
but if you see the same picture with a guy, then he has to be gay or bi.
It is time to change some points of view.

Assholes of the world unite and speak out against male repression.
We love our ass pounded as much as the chicks enjoy it...

:bigrin:

[Driver 8]

Seems to me that, in general, if you just want to have sex with people of the opposite gender you're straight, if you just want to have sex with people of the same gender you're gay or lesbian, and if you want to have sex with people of both genders you're bisexual. Doesn't matter what kind of sex you want to have.

[Tx46M]

Seems to me that, in general, if you just want to have sex with people of the opposite gender you're straight, if you just want to have sex with people of the same gender you're gay or lesbian, and if you want to have sex with people of both genders you're bisexual. Doesn't matter what kind of sex you want to have.

Yes, insightfull as ever....but toys are fun for all!!! Crosses all lines of gender in my opinion!!!!!

Muah driver-8
:cool:

[bijingles]

how do other people view this ???[/QUOTE]

If a bi guy or gay guy who is a topper has never played with toys does that make him straight?

I think not. :2cents:

[innaminka]

Toys are just toys and have multiple uses and places to use them and the use of them there of does not change ones gender preference. Just my :2cents: ...

Agree totally. toys are things you play/have fun with.
Nothing to do with bisexuality.

[DÆMØN]

On Toys and Sexuality

THE MOST BASIC thing about bisexuality is that it unlinks what most cultures see as a fundamental connection: sex and gender. If you can understand that for some people sexual attraction is not tied to a specific gender, then you understand the most important thing about bisexuality.


coknballiker:Bisexual is the attraction to both sexes. This can be a latent attraction that is never acted on so just because someone hasn't slept with someone of the same sex doesn't mean they are not bisexual. It is a mindset. nothing more.

Strap ons, dildo's, anero's , feeldoes and what ever other toy you care to name in themselves do not impart a sexuality. Sex toys complement sex by extending one's palette beyond its usual range. On top of that, they're terribly seductive; anticipating an orgasm delivered by a remote control vibrator awakens the senses as surely as a piece of chocolate truffle cake.

[Mimi]

i think LDD may be mixing up sexual orientation (e.g., gay, straight, bi, etc.) with sexual practice (kinky, vanilla, BDSM, etc.). there are bi people out there who wouldn't dare touch a dildo in their love-making and there are straight people who use everything under the sun.


its in the same sense of a nun that is celibate her full life, in general terms most people would refer to her as heterosexual..... but noting the fact that that was no sexual contact to define her sexuality, how can she be truely defined as heterosexual

again you are confusing 2 things here. you are mixing up sexual attraction (e.g., feelings of desire for men, women, or both) with sexual behavior (e.g., intercourse, foreplay, celibacy). a person can be straight AND celibate, bi AND celibate, or gay AND celibate. just because they don't actively have sex doesn't mean that they don't find get turned on by certain people or certain body parts.


they both define themselves as bisexuals as they both entertain the ideas of sexual practises with the same sex but both have never been with the same sex

again, you're mixing things up. your friends know within their heart of hearts that they're bi because they're attracted to men and women. some people realize they're bi before they have sex with both genders. that's why you can never judge whether someone is bi just by looking at who they're having sex with!

mimi :flag1:

[csrakate]

I have a friend that for all intents and purposes is hetero ( never slept with a people of the same sex ) but has his partner use a strap on on him, they both watch straight, gay and bi dvds and they both define themselves as bisexuals as they both entertain the ideas of sexual practises with the same sex but both have never been with the same sex

how do other people view this ???

No offense Long Duck Dong...but you think wayyyy too much! If I may paraphrase a well known saying..."sometimes a cigar is just a cigar"....sometimes a strap on is just a strap on....nothing more..nothing hidden...nothing to question.

Hugs,
Kate

[Bothbi_cpl813]

Well if nothing else, it proves your not anal retentive...... Jerr

[Driver 8]

there are bi people out there who wouldn't dare touch a dildo in their love-making and there are straight people who use everything under the sun [...] a person can be straight AND celibate, bi AND celibate, or gay AND celibate.
Yes, but those people are sick. I think some sort of Constitutional amendment is called for.

[Mimi]

orginally posted by driver 8: Yes, but those people are sick. I think some sort of Constitutional amendment is called for.

lmao!! :cutelaugh and while we're at it, maybe the ten commandments too -- "thou shalt not abstain from a little something-something every now and then."

[Long Duck Dong]

No offense Long Duck Dong...but you think wayyyy too much! If I may paraphrase a well known saying..."sometimes a cigar is just a cigar"....sometimes a strap on is just a strap on....nothing more..nothing hidden...nothing to question.

Hugs,
Kate

roflmao.... i think with one head and ... mmm... well you can quess what I do with the other :P:P

actually i do think a lot...lol and i am always amused by peoples lack of understanding about different aspects of human behievour lol

I showed my friends the posts in this thread... and said to them.. * does it truely matter what sexuality you are ??? ... cos if you need to define your sexuality... then you need to question if the person asking you to define your sexuality, really needs to know * lol

in my eyes I am bisexual..... but as to am i a macho bi, feminine bi, confused straight, undecided straight etc etc... the rest of the world can argue over that one lol

[csrakate]

I showed my friends the posts in this thread... and said to them.. * does it truely matter what sexuality you are ??? ... cos if you need to define your sexuality... then you need to question if the person asking you to define your sexuality, really needs to know * lol

You are so correct!!! I have said it before and I will say it again...I would no more share the details of a hot and heavy heterosexual romp with my hubby to my mother than I would the details of his bisexuality. What we share between the two of us is our business and our business alone! (and knowing my mother, she would be quite happy not to know of our business and I am sure my children would concur!!! LOL!!)

Hugs,
Kate

[Driver 8]

You are so correct!!! I have said it before and I will say it again...I would no more share the details of a hot and heavy heterosexual romp with my hubby to my mother than I would the details of his bisexuality. What we share between the two of us is our business and our business alone! (and knowing my mother, she would be quite happy not to know of our business and I am sure my children would concur!!! LOL!!)
Kate, I'm out to my mom, and I don't see that as her "knowing my business." I think there's a world of difference between being out and sharing details.

If you've dated men and women, you can let people assume that you're lesbian (or gay), or that you're straight, or that you can't make up your mind. You can keep some or all of your relationships secret, which I don't recommend. Or you can say something like "Yes, I'm bisexual" or "I've dated both men and women" when the subject comes up.

The fact is, you ARE already sharing something about your sexuality with your mother. She presumably knows you're married - i.e., that you're in a romantic relationship with someone of the opposite sex.

Letting people assume you're straight just isn't the same as keeping your sexuality secret. If you're bi, that's being closeted. Now there are many excellent reasons for people to remain closeted, and I'm not about to demand that everyone come out to everyone else in their lives.

But I keep running into the idea that if you're out, you're oversharing. And I find it even more frustrated when it's coupled with the idea that this is some sort of universal standard of discretion that applies to everyone, straight, gay, or bi. The fact is that if a woman mentions her husband, her boyfriend, or her ex-boyfriend, no one will ever say she's flaunting her sexuality; but if a woman mentions her wife, her girlfriend, or her ex-girlfriend - no matter how casual the reference - lots of people will say just that.

[bigregory]

Im bi so i cant answer this post.
Its like asking that nun whether she likes men cut or uncut.
All i know is that toys are fun and can keep a relationship
humming along when the inevitable lull in bed happens.
St8/gay or bi, toys should be in everyones(toybox). Oh and
with toys dont forget the lube....and batteries!!!!
Im pretty sure sliding some toy up a st8 guys ass will not make him gay, and if he do's not like it he would say so.Just as a girl (bi/st8 or gay) might not like it.
In my house we LOVE toys.. play on.

[csrakate]

Kate, I'm out to my mom, and I don't see that as her "knowing my business." I think there's a world of difference between being out and sharing details.

If you've dated men and women, you can let people assume that you're lesbian (or gay), or that you're straight, or that you can't make up your mind. You can keep some or all of your relationships secret, which I don't recommend. Or you can say something like "Yes, I'm bisexual" or "I've dated both men and women" when the subject comes up.

The fact is, you ARE already sharing something about your sexuality with your mother. She presumably knows you're married - i.e., that you're in a romantic relationship with someone of the opposite sex.

Letting people assume you're straight just isn't the same as keeping your sexuality secret. If you're bi, that's being closeted. Now there are many excellent reasons for people to remain closeted, and I'm not about to demand that everyone come out to everyone else in their lives.

But I keep running into the idea that if you're out, you're oversharing. And I find it even more frustrated when it's coupled with the idea that this is some sort of universal standard of discretion that applies to everyone, straight, gay, or bi. The fact is that if a woman mentions her husband, her boyfriend, or her ex-boyfriend, no one will ever say she's flaunting her sexuality; but if a woman mentions her wife, her girlfriend, or her ex-girlfriend - no matter how casual the reference - lots of people will say just that.

Driver,
I never meant to indicate that anything should be kept secret if you're bi..and I think it is wonderful that you can be open with your mom and I applaud both of you for having that sort of relationship...I was merely agreeing with the notion that if sharing such information is difficult, then why do it...that's all.

Hugs,
Kate