Facebook or fake book?

[Bicuriousity]

I hate to admit it, but one reason I don't like Facebook is that I don't feel I can be the real me. Since I'm not out to family or even most of my straight friends, I don't feel comfortable using it much. For one thing I don't want my two worlds to collide, which could easily happen if one of my friends who knows made a slip.

I hate this. Obviously I know most of my bi friends are as closeted as me, but it would take only one slip of the tongue so to speak to potentially out us. Am I the only one in this boat?

This will be resolved one day when I have the courage to come out as bi.

[TaylorMade]

The more concerned you are, the more likely you will be to let it slip. It's like the cousin to Murphy's law. The more nervous you are about something happening, the more likely it will happen.

*Taylor*

[SophiaBee]

why not have a "bi profile" and a "regular" one, at least until you decide to out yourself?

[slipnslide]

I'm starting to think the best approach is just to be yourself and if they figure it out they figure it out. If they ask, you can point out it's kind of a personal question and elaborate if you wish. When I told one friend her reaction was pretty much "so?". She then pointed out to me that of all the friends we'd just been socializing with not a one would care. Plus, if an individual finds out, or figures it out, or you tell them or whatever and it changes how they feel about you, do you want them around anyhow?

I guess I'm a laissez faire kinda guy. . .

[Aristede]

The most important thing to consider is that if you plan to have a Facebook page you need to have an idea about what kinds of things your friends would actually post on your page. On Facebook you can easily disable your wall so that no one can post directly to it. Though I find that my friends simply won't post any questionable material on my Facebook, whether it be of a personal concerns, sexual orientation, etc. You control who you add as friends on your Facebook and if they are indeed your friends that won't post particular content.

For example, I have many gay and straight friends, but we don't post things about orientation on each other's pages. Additionally they know that I don't want any foul language or such on my Facebook.

Facebook is what you make of it. It's not necessarily about hiding things, but it's about being wise about what you share with the world.

Aristede

[Lenore]

I have to admit that I am a Facebook junkie. I spend way to much time on there and probably share way to much information sometimes, however, i do not discuss my sexuality because I have not told all of my friends and family. Those who do know about it are respectful. If they weren't I wouldn't have told them in the first place, or allowed that to be my "friend" on Facebook.

[fredtyg]

I'm starting to think the best approach is just to be yourself and if they figure it out they figure it out.

That's kind of what I try to do with Facebook but, as I've wrote before, there are some people I'd rather not know about my queerness- the wife's family and some old military friends being two groups I'd rather not flaunt myself to, although there's a number the wife's family that already know about me.

I do make an effort to drop hints, though, as I've said before, joining gay marriage groups, and such, but don't have the courage just yet to join the I Am Gay or Bisexuality groups yet. A little too obvious, although I'm dying to have those groups on my Facebook list.

Another thing I made an effort at this last week is to add openly gay folk to my Facebook friends list. Problem is I don't know many openly gay guys. I only have one on my list now but am looking for more. You'd think it would be easier to do than it's been.

I just added an old internet buddy of mine to my friends and noticed he his interests listed and both men and women. I'd never thought of doing that until I saw he did it (and had no idea until now he was bi- I'm assuming that's what "Interested in men and women" means).

I'm biting at the bit to do that now. Right now I don't have any sexual interests listed. Maybe I'll do that in stages? Add men and women to my interests for a day, then remove it. Add it another couple days and then remove it. Then maybe try it for a week. Eventually, might I feel comfortable publicly declaring myself queer/ bisexual?

Hmmm??? I still don't know that I'd want everybody to know about me.

[fredtyg]

Those who do know about it are respectful. If they weren't I wouldn't have told them in the first place, or allowed that to be my "friend" on Facebook.

I haven't had a problem with that, either. The one gay guy I have as my Facebook friend has been very discreet. We may get nasty while using chat, or in phone conversations, but he never even writes on my wall.

I ended up having a gal from a local sex club added as a friend after we chatted briefly in the club's Yahoo Group and said she might be interested in doing some watersport stuff with me. I asked her when I added her to my list to keep it clean as there are a lot of vanilla people on my Friends list and she agreed saying her Friends list consisted of pretty much vanilla, straight people, too.

[diB4u]

I hate to admit it, but one reason I don't like Facebook is that I don't feel I can be the real me. Since I'm not out to family or even most of my straight friends, I don't feel comfortable using it much. For one thing I don't want my two worlds to collide, which could easily happen if one of my friends who knows made a slip.

I hate this. Obviously I know most of my bi friends are as closeted as me, but it would take only one slip of the tongue so to speak to potentially out us. Am I the only one in this boat?

This will be resolved one day when I have the courage to come out as bi.

Hi hon,

Dont worry so much that facebook isnt the site for you, its hard enough to come out etc without having the whole world knowing about it. so dont worry, like others have mentioned maybe have one account for family and friends adn the other one for your private life.

I personally only use it for friends etc keeping in touch and not so much looking for relationships and other forms of contacts.

[FalconAngel]

Facebook also sells member profile info to spammers and phishers without regard as to how it is used.

Whatever you put there will be out there forever......more so than most other sites.