Relationship seperations

[Justin Chad Taylor]

:)My wife and I are separated for the moment and are going through marriage thearpy. Last Wednesday after our therapy session we went back to my place to have dinner and talk;howver, besides dinner and talking we made love! We love each other very much but are having difficulties with our bisexuality. It seems that I sometimes want to be with a man and my wife wants to be with a women but we still are in love with one another. Is there anyone who is going through the same thing. If so how are you coping? :flag3: Thanks and take care.:)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Good luck to you both, Darlin. Some friends of mine were having the same problem, and decided to try and work their hardest to be able to sate their desires and still remain together. So, they joined the Lifestyle group that I am in, and play together with others, and with each other with others, and still go home together at the end of the night. They are very happy with it and it works for them. I hope ya'll find a solution that's right for you too..:}
Best of luck,
Cat.

[Long Duck Dong]

when I was doing counseling, I used to deal with a lot of couples that struggled with the one bi / one not relationship and marriage issue....what was not as common, was both people dealing with the both bi aspect......

my advice is still the same, you desire with your bodies, but love with your hearts, passion is fleeting, but when the sex is no longer, the love still goes on

if you and your wife were in front of me, I would be asking questions like " holidays within the marriage ? " a bit like a time out from the marriage but not each other so that way you both have the security of knowing that your partner still loves you, needs you, wants you but is walking the wild side for a time and they are coming back to you...

I would also ask, what ways have been tried that allow you both to live in and share the same house, yet drift as your bisexuality desires ebb and flow... what ways could work for you... and how do you feel about trying that....
its actually something that you and your wife would need to talk about in private as its a matter between you and your wife, and as a counselor, my role is to offer advice, not tell you what will work......

I would talk to you about polyarmory and open exclusive relationships that are mutually agreed upon and as cat has suggested, lifestyle groups that are supportive and safer than casual hook ups.... they can help with the desires, plus be a support and help group for when you both are * taking a breather *

honestly, I am reading between the lines and its as if you are both saying, we want our marriage, we love each other, but we can not reconcile the different feelings we have about ourselves and our partners when we are at different points in our bisexuality.....but under all of that, we do not want to lose each other just cos we are both bisexual.....

well bisexual is a aspect of who you both are, over and above that, you both are loving people, try a romantic dinner once a week, to enforce that solid foundation of love and caring..... provide a anchor for the marriage.... and remind yourself and your partner that some things last longer than sex

[FalconAngel]

:)My wife and I are separated for the moment and are going through marriage thearpy. Last Wednesday after our therapy session we went back to my place to have dinner and talk;howver, besides dinner and talking we made love! We love each other very much but are having difficulties with our bisexuality. It seems that I sometimes want to be with a man and my wife wants to be with a women but we still are in love with one another. Is there anyone who is going through the same thing. If so how are you coping? :flag3: Thanks and take care.:)

I am pretty sure that there are at least 3 threads here on the subject of how BI couples and M/O couples work out the issues.

There are any number of options in this regard and a read through the archived threads on the subject may yield some possibilities for you to help with that particular problem.

Good luck to you both.

[mikey3000]

Excellent. excellent advice. Every word.

when I was doing counseling, I used to deal with a lot of couples that struggled with the one bi / one not relationship and marriage issue....what was not as common, was both people dealing with the both bi aspect......

my advice is still the same, you desire with your bodies, but love with your hearts, passion is fleeting, but when the sex is no longer, the love still goes on

if you and your wife were in front of me, I would be asking questions like " holidays within the marriage ? " a bit like a time out from the marriage but not each other so that way you both have the security of knowing that your partner still loves you, needs you, wants you but is walking the wild side for a time and they are coming back to you...

I would also ask, what ways have been tried that allow you both to live in and share the same house, yet drift as your bisexuality desires ebb and flow... what ways could work for you... and how do you feel about trying that....
its actually something that you and your wife would need to talk about in private as its a matter between you and your wife, and as a counselor, my role is to offer advice, not tell you what will work......

I would talk to you about polyarmory and open exclusive relationships that are mutually agreed upon and as cat has suggested, lifestyle groups that are supportive and safer than casual hook ups.... they can help with the desires, plus be a support and help group for when you both are * taking a breather *

honestly, I am reading between the lines and its as if you are both saying, we want our marriage, we love each other, but we can not reconcile the different feelings we have about ourselves and our partners when we are at different points in our bisexuality.....but under all of that, we do not want to lose each other just cos we are both bisexual.....

well bisexual is a aspect of who you both are, over and above that, you both are loving people, try a romantic dinner once a week, to enforce that solid foundation of love and caring..... provide a anchor for the marriage.... and remind yourself and your partner that some things last longer than sex

[onewhocares]

Hi there,

Working through all the emotional and sexual elements in a marriage between bisexual is not always easy. Therapy can help and in my estimation TALKING and expressing you open and honest thoughts are key. My husband and I are members of HUGS, a Yahoo Group where both partners must join. There are also Alternate Path for the women married to bi and or gay men and HOW the group for husbands out to their wives. The group require acceptance but once you have become a member, the amount of information and support is immense. I suggest you both take a look at the sites. Wishing you well.

Belle

[69luvr]

Good luck to you both, Darlin. Some friends of mine were having the same problem, and decided to try and work their hardest to be able to sate their desires and still remain together. So, they joined the Lifestyle group that I am in, and play together with others, and with each other with others, and still go home together at the end of the night. They are very happy with it and it works for them. I hope ya'll find a solution that's right for you too..:}
Best of luck,
Cat.


Great advice .