Looking for suggestions

[chrisjb99]

OK, so I'm 38, living in Houston, single and in pretty good shape. So far, I've only experienced straight relationships. Never had a gay experience and I'm not particularly interested in gay erotica.

But, now that the internet affords me instant access to every type of porn I could wish for, it seems that the one category which does it for me more than any other is the bi-mmf scenario.

In particular- anything which has elements of this fantasy:

A confidant uninhibited girl gets her male friend or bf, who's a shy-guy to try gay sex for the first time. It could be a MMF, or it could be MM, but she makes it happen even though he seems a little reluctant at first and protests that he's straight. She knew best!

e.g. my favorite literotica story: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=387576

I'm completely obsessed with this sex-fantasy, so what have I got to lose? I admit, I am scared that I would feel dirty and ashamed if I ever did have gay sex, but I think about it so much that I'm starting to think I owe it to myself to at least try it once. After all, about 50% of the male population has done it once in their lives and they somehow survived, so it's not as though I'd be that unusual and if I'm honest with myself I'm probably something like 40%/60% gay/straight, which is to say I prefer girls, but I'm basically bi.

I don't have the courage to even visit a gay bar by myself. I've been thinking about it though, and I thought maybe I could fulfill a large part of my fantasy by finding a 'fag-hag' to confide in and who can come with me to a local gay bar and encourage me to go looking and dancing with cute guys and bring one back to the table. And, if the guy seemed OK and met with her approval, she would then tell me to go for it, that I was going to have a great time and that she was so excited that I was going to get laid. Finally, I'd call her up the next day for a debriefing and let her know all the sex details.

So, I need advice. I'm already stuck. How the hell do I find a fag-hag? Sure, there's craigslist, but which category? And aren't many of the posters there scammers? I don't want some freak girl off the internet who weirds me out- I want someone who's reasonably together and someone I can trust.

And am I asking too much from her? Yeah, I'm basically being a pussy and asking someone else to be my cheerleader because I'm too much of a coward to do anything myself, but it's also the fact that I find it to be erotic when I'm playing the partly submissive role in which my lover or friend cajoles me into exploring my sexual boundaries.

Oh, and what would the girl be getting out of the deal? I fantasize that if I could find a 'fag-hag' that she would find it cool to help a guy have his first gay experience, but maybe I'm wrong- maybe most fag-hags would find it offensive or demeaning.

Yup, I overanalyze everything, but if anyone did read this far, then I'd be interested if your suggestions and advice.

[Realist]

Chris, I've understood that I was bisexual, since before I ever heard the word. In the 55 years since that discovery, I have had 9 relationships with guys, one was a MFM (13 months) and one MFF (2 years).......so, compared to some others, I haven't had that many experiences.

But, I will share a few thoughts, regarding your question:

Each experience began in a different way and most of them just appeared out of the blue. But, if I review how they happened, I'd say that being open, observant and honest, probably allowed others feel they could to share things with me. I'm very guarded about being indiscreet, but open about my own interests and desires; if I feel comfortable with the subject and who I'm discussing them with, I will initiate the process of communication.

I think people feel they can trust me and therefore will open up in private about their inner-most thoughts. 4, of the 9 paramours I've had were virgins, so I'm sure they felt safe with me. So, putting others at ease and gaining their confidence is important.

So, I think that if you know what you want, you should mix and mingle with those you suspect are interested. In some locations, it's easier to meet like-minded folks, than in others. I met my lover right here, in 2008! If you answer an ad, or place one, I suggest meeting in a public place, for the first time, at least. If the person fails to open up and you cannot compare interests, dreams and desires....or if your gut feeling is they're lying, I'd say that you're wasting your time.

I'm sorry, but that as definitive as I can get. I'm sure more viable suggestions will be forthcoming.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Ya know, just a word of advise, Son. We women who like bi and gay men REALLY take offence at being called "Fag Hags" Its disrespectful, and old fashioned. And it would look really awkward on Craigs list to go 'Wanted: Fag Hag to go with me to my first Gay Bar/Event."
Have you ever considered going to a Gay Pride event? Those are really cool, and you can meet some fantastic peple as well. Walk around, watch how people interact with each other. You may even get turned on at watching same sex couples(and moresomes) opening kissing and touching. ;)
Good luck.
Cat