Please say a prayer...

[mikey3000]

A friend's husband decided to end his life a few days ago, and we are all hurting terribly for the man he left behind. Please take a moment to learn what pain suicide causes to the loved ones you leave.

http://www.beaupedia.org/2010/05/07/dustin-take-your-bow/

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I wish more people would see this and understand the impact it has on those left behind. What a horribly selfish, hurtful thing to do to your friends and loved ones. Not to mention the trauma it inflicts on the children of those the person leaves behind too. I talked to one gal and mentioned this to her. She says "So what? I dont care what happens to them after I'm gone. I'll be dead, what does it matter..they'll forget me in time"
Thats just so wrong...:(
Cat

[Canticle]

Prayers are said and healing for wounded souls sent, most especially that of your deceased friend, who must have been in some sort of emotional turmoil and torment, to have ended his life and at such a young age. The same heartfelt sympathy and gentle thoughts, I also send out, to his partner, wider family and friends.

So often, the act of suicide takes place, when a person is suffering greatly and sadly, those around him/her, may not realise what is tormenting their friend and loved one. The suicide can be an attempt to cry for help, with a man, or woman, not meaning to take their life, or even having the desire to die. I have read so many inquest reports, in newspapers, where the coroner has set the verdict as, ''taking their life whilst the balance of the mind was disturbed.'' An extremely good description, of the plight and actions of a desperately unhappy person.

Locally, we have had such a case, recently, where a loving husband and father, was driven to the edge, by the job he was doing and how more and more work and hours were demanded. Perhaps, at such times, a man/woman in a certain state of mind, gets it into their head, albeit briefly, that there would be no problems, if he/she was no longer around. Not a selfish act.....a desperate one.

Alas, others will always suffer, especially if no particular reason is dicovered, which may have driven the person to such desperate measures.

Your friend was so young and he had the most beautiful face. Such a gentle face. I hope a reason is found, for what he did...an answer...which...though not giving his loved ones too much comfort, will at least allow them to come to terms with their loss.

My love goes out to all those involved.

[tenni]

Mikey
My thoughts are with your family and friends. You have dealt with so much this past year or so. Just know that the person who commits suicide has lost their balance and centre. They were not in a position to understand the impact on their loved ones. They were in pain and wanted escape to the point of not seeing all the aspects of their actions. It is one of those unexplainable experiences that brings sadness to those who they left behind.

[Falling Leaves]

You are all in my prayers...suicide may seemingly end one's suffering but it breaks the hearts, and tears the souls of those around the person...may you all find peace and receive healing through this difficult time.....
J

[slipnslide]

This makes me sad on so many levels. One for the people he left behind, and for the intense pain he must have felt. I've learned more than once in my life, no matter how bad it seems, there's always a friend waiting to listen and remind you that you're not alone.

[TwylaTwobits]

I've always considered suicide the ultimate "Fuck You" to anyone that ever cared about you. But I will be sending healing energy to the family and friends.

[Long Duck Dong]

please do not think badly of those that take their own lives, its too easy to judge them when people lack the understanding of why they do

hugs mikey.. and the ones left behind......

I understand both sides, more than I can express

[mikey3000]

Thanks all for your kind words. I guess we are all just wondering how someone can do that when they know they are loved. Everyone is just so shocked.

[gfofbiguy]

Mikey, I know firsthand how horrible suicide can be - my uncle committed suicide about 14 years ago, and although I understand why he did it (he left our family a lengthy note), I am still shocked, hurt and even angry about it. It devastates everyone who cares about that individual and leaves lasting questions of "why, why, why didn't you ask us for help, come to us, tell us you were feeling this way?". I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and I will keep you and your family and his family in my thoughts and prayers.

~~Gfofbiguy

[bigbadmax]

many big hugs....

LDD is correct, too many people judge the attempter/deceased. People forget the altered staes of reality that can affect your judgement.

Having worked on accident and emergeny units(ER) and acute admission wards, i have seen all forms of attempted suicide ranging from pills/potions/drugs and gunshot wounds to attempted drowning,jumping etc.

I will agree that anumber of them were utter time wasters, however many had altered frames of mind. They would state that life is the only commodity they have control over and that "love" is the one thing they will never have, or it is a false hope....they would also argue the opposite, that it is a VERY courageous thing to do amd not a cowards way out.

my heartfelt thoughts are with you at this very difficult time.....no can be to blame if mental health was an issue.

phil

may your guiding spirit shelter you from all harm and comfort you in this time of need

[elian]

I think Bob Marley had the right idea when he said "Light up the darkness". So many people seem to face terrible stress every day that just wears away at the grace of the soul.

I've had this window open for at least 45 minutes now because I'm struggling to find words to express a profound sadness for those who suffer with broken hearts and spirits.

I believe that each of us is a spark of the divine and each life is like a petal on a flower.. It is easy to overlook what it means to appreciate the potential in that beauty. How can a loving God (or a compassionate universe) hate itself? It doesn't, it can't - but people often hold themselves hostage mentally, emotionally, spiritually - sometimes it doesn't seem fair or right. When you are in deep depression it is easy to imagine that you have no options. Secrets, fear and self-loathing do terrible things to people.

I will say a prayer for your family, and for all of those who are suffering.

You ARE loved - although there are times when you may feel lonely, you are never truly alone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0lEtJAS_QQ

[ricocourious]

I have been sitting here for about an hour trying to find a way to tell you how truly sorry I am for your loss. There is not a thing I can say to ease your pain or anyone who loved your friend.

It's easy for people to sit in judgement of your friend not knowing what he was going through. You know depression is and ugly creature and when he gets a hold of you he will do his very best to break you and any cost. No one knows the pain you feel when your wrold has turned dark and it seems there is no way to find the light no matter how hard you try. Unless you have ever been in a state of deep depression you will never know what he went through. Everything just seems to get deeper and darker no matter what anyone says you see no other way out. Its like something takes a hold or your heart and you can just feel it being crushed.

All you and the family can do at this point is pray that he found the happness he was searching for. I pray that God will give you and the family the strangh to get through this and try to make sence of what happend.

The reason I decided to write you is because I know what depression can do and I have the scars to prove it. There a constant reminder everyday of what could have been. God bless and keep you all.... stay strong

[elian]

Maybe my message above makes it sound like depressed people are somehow weak, but I know that strong, courageous people ALSO struggle with depression - it doesn't mean they are loved any less. I have no right to judge other people, and I meant no disrespect.

Rico is right, we should celebrate the life of every person.

[darkeyes]

please do not think badly of those that take their own lives, its too easy to judge them when people lack the understanding of why they do

hugs mikey.. and the ones left behind......

I understand both sides, more than I can express

As one who suffers occasional bouts of severe clinical depression I think it is all too easy to accuse those who take their own lives of selfishness by not thinking of those left behind. I know just how the depths of despair can affect people and I find it impossible to condemn those who make an attempt on their life, whether it be successful or otherwise. The ones left behind are the hapless sufferers of a suicide for they have to live with it, with many feeling guilt needlessly and believing they should have done more to relieve the suffering of the dead. My heart goes out to all the victims of a suicide and know that being human, we are sufficiently flawed not always to see the depth of another's pain, and sufficiently in despair not always to avoid being the cause of such an unbearable tragedy..

Huggles and kissies, Mikey.. to u and all left behind..:)

[csreef]

Eight years ago I found my neighbor after he had shot himself...It was very sad for all involved...

[Lady_Passion]

Too useful to ever be a cliche, it keeps going through my mind:

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

[mikey3000]

We all are still having a very difficult time coping with Dustin's death, especially as his memorial approaches. He was such an incredible guy. Here's a little video of him just to show you what the world will miss:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WTjD4EPUus&feature=related

Please God, rest his soul.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Mikey-Honey. I hope your friend walked the path in peace, and that his tortured soul has finally found peace and serenity. Many hugs and blessing upon you, and the family of your friend. Please remember him in laughter and light.
Spirits bless...
Cat

[bigbadmax]

mikey,

I have only sympathy for you and his loved ones left behind.....

i can also fully understand what your friend was feeling from personal standpoint and a professional one.

may your guiding spirit help you through the barriers on the road to happiness.

phil

[mikey3000]

Thank you all. Very much.

[Bluebiyou]

Hey Mikey,
I really don't like you and really disagree with half of what you say, but...
Some things are a magnitude deeper and more serious.
I'm sincerely sorry about your friend.
Please be aware (especially of his significant other) of feelings and behaviors of those close to him (siblings, friends, etc).
It is a very human thing, if one chooses to leave by his/her own means that the same option becomes more attractive to those close to him or someone already contemplating the same (in depression) who were 'just friends'.
Please move forward alertly and careingly. Keep your antenna up. Take depression (and odd comments) seriously.
Again, you are clearly moved by this loss.
Je'regrets.
In deepest sympathy,
Blue

[mikey3000]

Merci de votre honnêteté. Oui, je me rends très compte des mauvaises pensées maintenant.