Just came "out"

[maxxcrash]

Hello everyone. My name is max and I am new here. Last night I told my wife that I am bisexual and have decided I am no longer going to hide that part of me. Surprisingly she took it well and said it actually excited her. I was prepared for all hell. I have always known I was bisexual but denied it for years and when I finally excepted myself I hid it from others. I have grown very tired of this emotionally and knew now is the time to be me. I feel like a new man. I would love to hear from others that have been or are in a similar situation and get any advise that might be helpful. I think I am more nervous of what my friends will think. But I can't hide it anymore.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Welcome Home Sweetie. And welcome to You. :}
Cat
Everybodys Feline...

[maxxcrash]

Thank You Cat!

[Vikkster230]

It's great that you were able to be honest with your wife... It's a BONUS that she has seemed to take it well. Who knows where this will take you. Welcome to the site, there are some really cool people here...

[RobUK]

Sorry - can't really give any advice (I'm not brave enough to have come out like that!)

but

Well Done, Mate!

:flag2::flag3::flag2::bipride::flag2::flag3::flag2 :

[maxxcrash]

Thank you all for the kind welcome. It feels good to be among people who have been or are going down similar paths.

[dman82]

Welcome Max! Glad to hear you have that weight of your sholders. Verry good that your wife excepts you for who you are, kudos to her. I told my wife I am bi before we ever started dating, and we have been married five years now. She knows I will not be sexual with anyone with out her permission. But interesting enough with in the last year she has come to me about being bi-courious herself, but she doesn't know if she would try. Feel free to contact me if you wish to chat, because I know my thoughts and opinions differ from alot of peoples and I don't want to start an online arguement because someone doesn't like what I say.

:three:

[Realist]

You are extremely lucky to have your wife at your side! Congratulations on your honesty and for having such a wonderful wife!

After hiding my bisexuality for most of my life, I came out to a few close friends and decided to never attempt to be with anyone one again, without telling them. Having done that and, joining this site in 2008, I met and became lovers with the most magnificent bisexual lady I've ever known.

What a load off of my shoulders and a boost to my love life!

I noticed your entry date is 2009, not 2010.......misprint, or have you just been lurking?

No matter, welcome aboard!

[rutemptedalso]

Congrats Max! I'm in the same boat as you. I told my wife a few months ago. She freaked out at first but I've finally helped her understand that it's not something to be afraid of. I don't know if she'll ever approve of me having a friend that I can be with but at least I can talk to her about it now. If nothing else it's brought her and I a lot closer together. I didn't relize how much it affected my personality being all bottled up inside.
Take Care!

[Herbwoman39]

Wow! Congratulations to you and your wife Max! That's wonderful that she took it so well!

May I suggest you both read an excellent book called "The Bisexual's Guide To The Universe"? It's a great book that goes from coming out to guidelines for sex outside the primary relationship. Or inside if you and your wife want to explore that.

And welcome home :-)

[Bibearcub]

came out to my wife tonight, she wasn't all about heading off and finding me a man, but she took it really, really well.

Huge load off my mind.

[bisocialnudist]

Congratulations Max and the others who have joined us, The best thing I have ever done for myself was to come out of the closet three years ago at the age of 53 as the bisexual I really am. It feels wonderful to have gone from no one must know this about me to not caring who knows. I know where the expression light in the loafers comes from because that's how I feel, I wake up everyday with joy that I can at last live my day authentically. As far as advice goes time and communication are your friend , I found lots of two steps forward one back. My wife and I had to work really hard to find a way to talk about my bisexuality and how our marriage would look with a bisexual husband. I feel we have reached an understanding that results in our both being very happy. My wife has actually discovered that my gay side is part of what makes me such a good husband. I also found that keeping a journal helped show the progress I was making.

I came out to the rest of the world gradually over the course of almost a year, starting with those who would be most supportive. Id come out wait to see that it went well and move on. My theory was build up sort of a posse so that if one of my coming out moments went badly Id have a support network to help pickup thepieces. Im fortunate to live in Massachusetts which has laws to protect my job so I am also out at work. By the time I came out to my mid eighties Mom and Dad I had the self confidence and internal belief that there was absolutely nothing wrong with being a bisexual. Its ok to take your time I had this I want to be done with it but it turns out we have new opportunities to come out everyday. We meet new people , new circumstances come up etc. I could write a book on all the ways my life is better living it authentically and openly.

The argument I hear most often against coming out is our sexuality is our business why does anyone need to know. I dont know about others but the fact that I am sexually attracted to men and women is an important part of who I am yet it is invisible. Its who I am not always what I do. How will I get the you? me too and I understand that I crave. Straight people announce their sexuality everyday because by default it is just assumed they are heterosexual. All that happens by my silence is I am mistakenly assumed to be someone I am not. I want to be a role model and show others by example that life can be wonderful living life openly so that perhaps someone else wont suffer in silence any longer and will join us. I wish I had the courage when I was 22 to accept my bisexuality instead I suffered alone in silence for 30 some years.

Note this is how it worked for me. My marriage and my life was ready for me to come out everyone's circumstances are different So all Im saying is coming out worked for me, I understand its not for everyone after all I spent 30 years as far in the closet as one can go, while I regret it I don't really see how I had any choice. I hope to make it easier for those that follow. Certainly my children know I will be proud of them no matter who they are attracted to.

Once again congratulations enjoy the journey.

Mark



Hello everyone. My name is max and I am new here. Last night I told my wife that I am bisexual and have decided I am no longer going to hide that part of me. Surprisingly she took it well and said it actually excited her. I was prepared for all hell. I have always known I was bisexual but denied it for years and when I finally excepted myself I hid it from others. I have grown very tired of this emotionally and knew now is the time to be me. I feel like a new man. I would love to hear from others that have been or are in a similar situation and get any advise that might be helpful. I think I am more nervous of what my friends will think. But I can't hide it anymore.

[JP1986UM]

Max and other men, you've take a brave step to lighten your consciousness as to what and who you are. You will find a world of freedom in that, but don't go posting bi-banners over your house just yet.

Take the time to figure things out, let your wife know you love her and will stand with her in sickness and health. That's what they ultimately want to know...are you going to be there for me? Or are you going to abandon me and go find a playmate?

I suggest you join the group Husbands Out to Wives, PM me for information on it and the spouse can join a women's support group on Yahoo called Alternate Path and it IS for women looking to stay into their marriage when the husband is gay or bi.

[maxxcrash]

Thank you everyone for the kind words of encouragement. This truly is a community that cares.

[julbug]

Congrats Max,

My husband came out to me not to long ago. It was a great relief to him that I took it well. Just remember to let her ask questions and be as honest in your answers as you were in telling her. I know I have my ups and downs right now, but I love him more than anything and he tells me the same. We talk and joke around alot and it helps. She may have some insecurities at first about what you now want out of your relationship. Be honest with her.
I wish you the best of luck, if she is interested, I am always willing to talk.

[TwylaTwobits]

Congrats to both you and your wife, I wish you luck as you journey forward together.

[guynice]

Why come out to others? Do they explain their sex lives to you & the rest of the world? It seems to me you would be giving people who may want to hurt you a way to do it. How would it affect your job & future employment? I came out to my sister & she got drunk & told the world & I thought At the time we were really close & I could confide in her. I,m really glad your wife is cool. I think you're both fortunate in that respect. Wishing you the best. Joe

[csreef]

Congrats to you and your wife...I hope I am as lucky to find someone who is as accepting as she is....:three:

[CRAZMIN4EVERER]

I wish my wife would take it well like yours. I am too afraid to loose our relationship when she finds out about this. We have four children. I do not want my children to find out about this either. Whenever we have intercouse, I like her to finger my anus; especially when I cum. She has been fingering and licking my ass lately .... I am not sure she get some hints or not .... shall I tell her?

[bisocialnudist]

It would have been a huge help to me if I had known that bisexuality and same sex attraction ran in my family for generations. Instead as a teenager I looked in the mirror with a where the hell did this come from. Everything in due course but it was important for my kids to know I was fine with whatever orientation they were and heres why?. Yes most studies show same sex attraction seems to pass down from the mothers side but Im not so sure.

I might have never gone in the closet for 30 years if I had been told A) No surprise it runs in the family and B) we love you no matter what parts of the GLBT equation you fall into. Of course first we need to deal with our wives.

Good luck
Mark



I wish my wife would take it well like yours. I am too afraid to loose our relationship when she finds out about this. We have four children. I do not want my children to find out about this either. Whenever we have intercouse, I like her to finger my anus; especially when I cum. She has been fingering and licking my ass lately .... I am not sure she get some hints or not .... shall I tell her?

[maxxcrash]

I can't speak for everyone else but I personally could not keep it a secret any longer.



I wish my wife would take it well like yours. I am too afraid to loose our relationship when she finds out about this. We have four children. I do not want my children to find out about this either. Whenever we have intercouse, I like her to finger my anus; especially when I cum. She has been fingering and licking my ass lately .... I am not sure she get some hints or not .... shall I tell her?

[js8281016]

Good for you I just came out as bi to my wife last october she also took it well. We're in the process of searching for a guy for a threesom :tongue:

[maxxcrash]

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive. It's a great feeling to know I am not alone.