Jealousy - a sign of love?

[DareMe]

I had a debate the other day on the subject of Jealousy. Personally, I am not the jealous type, to the point that it sometimes annoys my wife.

The subject came up as she was talking about a friend of hers whose husband happens to be very jealous.

So, I ask you this, is jealousy a sign of love?

fun quotes on the subject:
http://www.quotegarden.com/jealousy.html


DM

[MarieDelta]

No- Jealousy springs more from fear of loss than love, in my opinion.

Love is a state of wanting the other person to be happy (short term and long term.)

Jealousy is a fear that the other person will become more enchanted with someone else and stems from fear of being alone or unwanted.

Of course, this is only my opinion.

[Long Duck Dong]

it can be, depending on the way the jealousy is expressed......

jealousy leads to sharing, enjoying, experiencing. deeper loving and caring etc if its not a destructive form of jealousy.....
kinda like your partner is paid a compliment about being good looking and attractive by another male..... and instead of taking offense, you glow with pride cos shes your partner... even tho you are a lil unsettled about another males possible flirting with your partner

then yeah... there is a possessive and destructive jealousy.... where, you beat the fuck out of anybody that dares look at your partner, you control who they can see and what they can do.... and that can kill a persons personality.....

I view it as a rough diamond... I could hold it in my hand and see a rough diamond and get jealous of the way people admire it.... but the way they admire it, can lead to it being cut into a faceted diamond that shines ...or one that can remain dull and lacklustre..... but I hold it in my hand cos its a diamond... not a cubic zirconia....

[allbimyself]

A quote on the subject I like:

"Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often confuses one for the other, or assumes the greater the love, the greater the jealousy. In fact they are almost incompatible; both at once produce unbearable turmoil." -RAH

[darkeyes]

A quote on the subject I like:

"Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often confuses one for the other, or assumes the greater the love, the greater the jealousy. In fact they are almost incompatible; both at once produce unbearable turmoil." -RAH

When Kate and I split up, and I found out that she was seeing a guy.. the pangs of sheer jealousy which I felt then were not out of love, Allbi? And when a little later the gut wretching I felt when I heard she was pregnant were not born out of the same emotion? When she married the father of her child.. the grief and pangs of envy, almost hatred for the man were not born out of love for her? The green mist which came over my eyes when I saw them together was not from the love I held for her?

Jealousy is a disease, yet love is not always a healthy condition, for the two are not incompatible.. they are often synonymous, for it can all too easily be contaminated by a jealousy which if left unchecked can ruin us, and even ruin what we feel for the object of our desire.. I was lucky in the end.. yet Lou's dad felt those same pangs of jealousy when we got back together.. those too were out of love, not simply for her mother, but for Lou herself.. double the grief..double the envy.. but he managed something I never could quite.. he fought through it, and became the bigger person for it in my eyes.. he learned not to have contempt for me in a way that I never quite could for him until relatively recently..:)

Jealousy often has nothing to do with love Allbi darlin'.. but not always.. it may indeed also be born out of immaturity or insecurity.. love is not a simple matter.. we are not simple creatures..

[12voltman59]

In some cases--what might appear to be jealousy may also be the other person's way of trying exert their control over the other----no matter what---the jealousy or whatever it is--comes from the other person's sense of insecurity----a bit of true jealousy is always gonna come up and that is natural---but if it goes to extreme levels--that is not healthy and can of course---be a potentially dangerous thing.

That is why for police--if a person goes missing or is found dead----if they have a long term intimate partner or spouse---that person is most often is suspect number one in a criminal investigation until that person can be positively cleared of having done something nefarious to the victim.

Like in most things----a very light amount of jealousy may not be a bad thing---it is certainly natural---just as long as it doesn't go too far and be allowed to become a dominant element in a relationship.

[still_shy]

The first girlfriend that I had after marrying my husband was really strange about jealousy. She would do absolutely stupid things just to get a rise out of me. When I finally reached the end of my rope after she told me she made out with a couple of girls at a party, I asked her why she wanted so badly to make me jealous. Her response surprised me, she said she couldn't believe that I cared for her unless I was jealous of other people. By trying to make me prove my love for her, she lost me. What a screwy way to show you care for someone. Now she's with a girl who won't let her talk to anyone, go anywhere or do anything and she's the happiest I've ever seen her. Weird.

[12voltman59]

The first girlfriend that I had after marrying my husband was really strange about jealousy. She would do absolutely stupid things just to get a rise out of me. When I finally reached the end of my rope after she told me she made out with a couple of girls at a party, I asked her why she wanted so badly to make me jealous. Her response surprised me, she said she couldn't believe that I cared for her unless I was jealous of other people. By trying to make me prove my love for her, she lost me. What a screwy way to show you care for someone. Now she's with a girl who won't let her talk to anyone, go anywhere or do anything and she's the happiest I've ever seen her. Weird.

That ex of yours has, as they say, has: "ISSUES"---you are much better without her I dare say!!!! Wheeeewwwww!!!

[richarddennis]

Jealousy is strictly a control issue. Some feel they must always be the center of attention, if they're not, they're not happy. They can only be happy by controlling others.

[darkeyes]

Jealousy is strictly a control issue. Some feel they must always be the center of attention, if they're not, they're not happy. They can only be happy by controlling others.

Bollox! Sumtimes.. often even.. not always.. its a natural emotion wich occurs for reasons far away from a need 2 control!!!

[allbimyself]

Fran,

You were jealous because you wanted her and couldn't have her. It's not the same as an open relationship. Furthermore, your emotion was more than jealousy. It was fueled by your own guilt.

Love ya, sweetie, but there was more going on there than simple love and jealousy.

[bemyonlyone]

When Kate and I split up, and I found out that she was seeing a guy.. the pangs of sheer jealousy which I felt then were not out of love, Allbi? And when a little later the gut wretching I felt when I heard she was pregnant were not born out of the same emotion? When she married the father of her child.. the grief and pangs of envy, almost hatred for the man were not born out of love for her? The green mist which came over my eyes when I saw them together was not from the love I held for her?


I'm so sorry...that sucks!

Did she want to end it, or did you? Honestly I'm so anti-kid I would just laugh and be like, "have fun changing diapers." lol. But that's not you, that's me.

I would be more jealous being left for another woman, for sure. Other women are where my jealousy lies.

[TwylaTwobits]

Jealousy is not about control. Jealousy is an emotion. It's how we react to feeling that emotion that can make it about control. That's a destructive aspect of it, but as was posted earlier it can also be constructive. It can make you appreciate more what you have and be a better caretaker of what you have been given by another person's trust in you.

[Canticle]

Bollox! Sumtimes.. often even.. not always.. its a natural emotion wich occurs for reasons far away from a need 2 control!!!

Indeed......Bollocks

[Volley]

No.

Voll

[darkeyes]

Fran,

You were jealous because you wanted her and couldn't have her. It's not the same as an open relationship. Furthermore, your emotion was more than jealousy. It was fueled by your own guilt.

Love ya, sweetie, but there was more going on there than simple love and jealousy.

Guilt sure played its part, you're right, and even now some years down the line after everything thats happened, it still fiddles away in the background playing its merry tune.... and there was more to it than love and jealousy (neither of course being that simple)... but it was jealousy nonetheless.. because I couldn't have her? Yes.. and that was the unhappiest time of my life Allbi.. something not to be repeated... :)

Love u an all.. :)