Some Southern Humor.....:}

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Now this might make perfect sense to some'a ya'll....:}



Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas,
beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in:
"Going to town, be back drekly (directly)."
_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.

If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
"a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related,
even if only by marriage.
_____

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea".

_____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies
who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"... and go your own way.

_____

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff...
bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southerness as a second language!


Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they
had been!

And, if you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it.

We know you got here as fast as you could.

Ya'll have a great day now, ya hear? ;):cool:

[NakedInSeattle]

Bless your heart and God love ya, Cat...I didn't know y'all was a southern gal. Sho nuff? I was raised in Ginny. How 'bout choo?

[FalconAngel]

Actually, in Florida, it's Key Lime pie, not banana puddin'.:tong:

[cliffordmontero]

that was cute . . . though i dont know about the sweet tea part . . . cause mcdonalds carries it now in my area . . . and upstate ny isnt exactly southern of much

[Caaveman]

Actually, in Florida, it's Key Lime pie, not banana puddin'.:tong:

FalconAngel, I thaught all american born floridians, were just snow birds (pun intended) LOL :tong:

And thanks Cat, I only understood everyone of those!!! :bigrin:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol Mississippi and Rez property in Ark. :}
Cat

[Long Duck Dong]

apparently this is true....

An American woman whose hair caught fire when her hairspray-coated follicles ignited as she lit a cigarette, is now a southern Indiana town's reigning "Village Idiot."

Dani Hamm earned the honorary title this month by getting the most votes from regulars at the Story Inn, a restaurant and bar near Bloomington where she's a bartender.

The title awarded every April comes with a US$100 bar tab at the rural inn.

Hamm was driving to work in February when she lit up a cigarette and then heard a "whoosh" as her hair ignited.

She wasn't injured because she used her hands to douse her hair, which she had coated with a liberal layer of hairspray.

[TwylaTwobits]

Babe that's funny but even if it's Southern Indiana it ain't southern :tong:

[roy m cox]

grits yummmmmm ,

i have family all over the south :)

[cliffordmontero]

Thats cute and all but i decided to look some up from where i grew up . . . jersey and where i live now . . . upstate ny

you might be from jersey if . . .

* You don't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country.

* You know what a Wawa is, and know the location of at least 15 of them.

* You think a mountain is that big freakin' hill in Atlantic Highlands.* Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April and May.

* You buy Shop-Rite brand food at Shop-Rite.

* You can smell and know when it's low tide.

* The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or local bar.

* There are no self serve gas stations and you like it that freakin' way... "yous gotta problem wit dat?"

* You've had sex on the beach, and I'm not talking about the beverage.

* You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle.

* You've run out of money on the Parkway.

* You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and fires, but have never seen a tornado, earthquake, tsunami or volcano.

* You can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights.

* You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros.creation.

* You only go to New York City for day trips.

* You know what a "jug handle" is.



and now you might be from upstate ny . . .


If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Upstate New York.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Upstate New York.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you measure distance in hours.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

If you see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).

If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

The sad thing is i know all these things to be true! lol

[TwylaTwobits]

LOL, Cliff, there are basically the same stories about all the states and regions across the US and even around the world. Humor plays a big part in people's lives and if even a tiny smile is cracked over any of the jokes, it's a job well done for whoever set out to put them online for us to find.

[12voltman59]

Cat----funny posting--very good.

In Savannah though---to help someone out--you'd know what the person's favorite libation is, so ya'd bring a bottle of that--and instead of banana pudding, you might bring a desert like a "Carolina Truffle" a yummy desert that depending upon the person's particular recipe---would have some sort of liquore like Grand Marnier, or a good Brandy. You'd probably also bring a pot of cooked shrimp too!!

[Bluebiyou]

Chatham artillery punch, served with some low country dishes.
Savanna must truly be the most beautiful southern city.

But, we lack in our manners.
In southern Scotland a man was walking a road in a kilt. He'd had a few too many at the pub, and only makes it a short way before fallin' asleep on the lawn. A bonnie lass of tender but mature age came along and wondered if it was true about what lads wore beneath their kilts. She pulls up the plaid on the sleeping lad and finds it is true. Not to be ungrateful, the lass ties a red ribbon on the lads member as a token, and then is on her way. The next morn, the lad awakes, heads on his way, then having to relieve himself lifts his kilt. Seeing the ribbon, he addresses his member "I don't know where you've been, but I'm glad to see you took first place."

[12voltman59]

Chatham artillery punch, served with some low country dishes.
Savanna must truly be the most beautiful southern city.

."

Wow---you know about that stuff!! I am impressed!!! It is guuuuddd stuff!!

I was thinking about the one line in Cats list--about "yonder"--its not just "yonder" that ya say----it's: "OVER YONDER" and it could even be "OVER YONDER A SPELL!"

I do have to say---I never could quite "EXAKLY" tell ya how long a "SPELL" is either in distance or time---but I know it when I see it!!! :bigrin::bigrin:

Here is one recipe I found online for the punch and man---this punch will give ya a couple of combo left/right uppercuts and some punches to the gut too---I don't have at hand my copies of my two main Savannah Recipe books--Savannah Style put out by the Junior League of Savannah and the Pirate's House Cookbook--both have recipes for this kick ass drink:

http://www.recipezaar.com/recipe/Chatham-Artillery-Punch-121495

PS---reading that site---this recipe is the one from Savannah Style--so its official---this is the true Savannah version---if ya ever do it----enjoy!!!

[rissababynta]

Thats cute and all but i decided to look some up from where i grew up . . . jersey and where i live now . . . upstate ny

you might be from jersey if . . .

* You don't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country.

* You know what a Wawa is, and know the location of at least 15 of them.

* You think a mountain is that big freakin' hill in Atlantic Highlands.* Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April and May.

* You buy Shop-Rite brand food at Shop-Rite.

* You can smell and know when it's low tide.

* The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or local bar.

* There are no self serve gas stations and you like it that freakin' way... "yous gotta problem wit dat?"

* You've had sex on the beach, and I'm not talking about the beverage.

* You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle.

* You've run out of money on the Parkway.

* You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and fires, but have never seen a tornado, earthquake, tsunami or volcano.

* You can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights.

* You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros.creation.

* You only go to New York City for day trips.

* You know what a "jug handle" is.



and now you might be from upstate ny . . .


If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Upstate New York.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Upstate New York.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you measure distance in hours.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

If you see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).

If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

The sad thing is i know all these things to be true! lol

Hubby worked as one of the managers at Wawa...but that was in PA haha. Actually this list looks like the one for PA...

[cliffordmontero]

LOL well jersey and pa are neighbors . . . and i currently live 20 miles from the pa border in ny lol