Bad pickup lines

[coyotedude]

Hey, anyone got any cheesy, obnoxious, or all-around bad pickup lines? Post them here!

Peace

[Laken]

Two that are terrible...yet I have seen them actually work.

1. Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

2. Look, I'm just tryin' to get my dick wet.

Ohhhh yeah. Those ladies were classy. :tong:

[TwylaTwobits]

Did heaven lose someone cause you're an angel.....delivered by someone who really looked like he needed a bath.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

1. Heaven must be very unhappy tonight, cuz they are missing one of their Angels.

2. I lost my heart, can you help me find it?

3. I have a headache, may I lay on your pillows for the rest of my life?

4. You're so sweet you give me a tooth ache...

5. I done picked this flower for you, and my love must be strong for how could I pick it with the whole wide world holding on to the other end..?(That one was used on Me) lmao
Cat

[cliffordmontero]

Can I borrow your cell? . . . Thanks! I promised my mom I would call her the second I fell in love!

[coyotedude]

Here are a few:

Hey baby, pluck my chicken...

Hey baby, chew my gum...

Hey baby, suck my lollipop...

Need to work on some more.

[cliffordmontero]

Baby you must have fallen from heaven! It would explain how you messed up your face!

Can I lick that film off your teeth?

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.

ok, so a couple of them i got from a weird al song but its ok lol

[rissababynta]

"That shirt is very becoming on you...and if you weren't wearing it I'd be cumming on you too..."

[Laken]

Did you use windex on your pants? Cause I can see myself in them.

[mikey3000]

"can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the $5?"

[Long Duck Dong]

hey babe, ever done a turkey shoot.... cos if you wanna gobble, I am happy to shoot

[johnnyeasy]

Hi! want to get a pizza and fuck? NO!? Why not? you don't like Pizza??

If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

"I must have 2nd sight, cuz I could Really see me doing you....."
"Never before have I ever wished I was a straw til I saw you sipping your drink"

And my personal favorite that I hit on guys and girls in here with: "Hey Lover..wanna go play Cowboys and Indians?" lol
Cat

[flame&psyc]

ok got a few for you.

"hey baby, wanna go back to my place get butt naked and wrestle"

"damn baby, you must wash your pants with windex cause i can sure see myself in them"

"if your left leg was christmas, and your right leg was new years could i kiss you in between the holidays"


"hey baby, im a certified sex instructor and the first lesson's free"

"oh my those boobs look heavy, may i hold them for you"

"hey what time do you get off"................"can i watch"

[bityme]

"You must be a candlemaker "cause your sure make me want to dip my wick."

[FalconAngel]

This one was used by some "Guido" in a movie once:

"nice dress.....it would look good in a pile next to my bed."

[Jackal]

Here are a few:

Hey baby, pluck my chicken...

Hey baby, chew my gum...

Hey baby, suck my lollipop...

Need to work on some more.



"Pluck my chicken" sounds like, "forcefully remove my pubic hair"
I've never gotten any pick up lines. Kind of makes me sad. I'd still say 'no' but it's nice to have the option. Oh well, I'll just go make uncomfortable memories for other people :bigrin:

[HarleneQuinnzel]

I havnt gotten hertbies yet...and you look like just the girl to give it to me....yeah a friend of a friend actually tried that....

look at you, you just radiate sex. lets do it here *points at counter*

If i said i would cook you breakfast in bed tomorrow would you fuck me tonight??

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

How about this one...
If you won't respect me in the morning...
Let's sleep in until noon! =)

My body is a carvival, and guess what? All the rides are free!:bigrin:
Cat

[BiPride1]

My friend tried this one at a party.

He made the finger motion "come here" to a girl and she came over to him. He said "I made you come with one finger; imagine what I could do with ten fingers ;)"

He got kicked in the balls:eek:

[Emotional Masochist]

so i have a few
My personal favourite "Girl your body's like a temple, whens the service."
"If you were a booger i'd pick you first."
"You must be tired, cause you've been running through my mind all day."


And the magical one that doesn't make any sense in how it worked
"Girl you are so beautiful if you were dead i would take your skull and fuck your brains out."----Said by my drunken brother to a very drunken girl and verified as true by many shocked friends. He actually picked her up and got her number. and this is why i still bow to his greatness.

[rdy2go]

"Do you have only metal chairs, cause you're so hot you would set wooden ones on fire."

I convinced a co worker to use this once on a woman he met in a bar, the results were hilarious, and no it didn't work!

[Lady_Passion]

When introduced, a former bf said, "Sorry, I think I just forgot my name", but it worked :.)

[darkeyes]

A few choice lines...


1.To me

Hey babe.. u ne tits in there?

I'm telt yer a dyke.. kin I try ye oot onyhoo?

Yer a bit wee for my taste cos I'm sae huge.. ye fancy it?

Ye fancy being belle o my ba's (balls)?:rolleyes:

Yea I'm from Oz.. I'm used to playin' down unda..you'll love it..

Ye fancy bein the bike ti my cyclist?

You're Scottish? So you wear nowt under your kilt then. May I see?


2. To Kate

I'll take yaize baith (you both) on an get you back on the straight and narrow and her screaming her heid off beggin for mair...

Good arse, nice legs.. kin I see whits roond the front?

Hi.. fancy a drink? Then you and me can fuck off back to your place...

You're from Edinburgh? I shagged a girl on Calton Hill once and I'm sure you are her..:eek:

I've the cock just for you babe..:rolleyes:


..and finally one I overheard at school just before xmas..

First date, first kiss, first fuck.. it'll jist mak' yer day bitch..

The boy was 13.. the girl 16..;) Its nice to see the flower of Scottish manhood is safe and secure in its banality and is in no danger of ever getting any subtlety and romance in its soul......:bigrin:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Hey Baby? Can I be the jam in your jellyroll?

How bout we have a pick nic? I have my own Mayo....And if your girlfriend wants to come along, I can be the meat in the middle..:}

[12voltman59]

This one was used on me and it sure did work---I have posted it before. It is a damn good one--not bad--so forgive me not sticking to topic!! LOL

Short version:
I had been at a party, don't really recall how--but met this very smoking hot lady---don't recall how it started--but she was hugging and kissing on me, getting pretty hot---she was smooth---slipped her hand down my outer and inner shorts----her hand wrapped on my cock (If it was not hard from her hot kissing and nibbling on my neck and ears--my dick got hard when her hand wrapped around it)---and in her very sexy voice--she whispered: "your dick feels great in my hand--but there are a few more places I have that I want ya to put it!!!"

Well-- I could not resist that---could anyone???? We left the party---found like what had to be the last room for rent on Cocoa Beach, Fla on Memorial Day Weekend and we had ourselves a great weekend!!! We hardly came up for air!!

[CuddlyKate]

Once I shared a flat with a rather spoilt girl who liked to get things her own way. She warned me she was bisexual and that was fine since I had a boy friend and really wasn't interested in this cock-sure little madam. The evening I moved in she asked me if I fancied a trip down to the local pub for a drink and she would introduce me to the staff and regulars.

"C'mon Kate. I'll buy you a drink", said she. "Don't worry you'll get back safe and sound. I don't bite." Then came the wide eyed and innocent grin. "At least not unless you want me too. I'm not easily persuaded but with you I'll make an exception - but only if you insist."

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Hmmm, that has a Tartish sound to it, Kate. T'would she be anyone that we know? lol
Cat

[csrakate]

Hmmm, that has a Tartish sound to it, Kate. T'would she be anyone that we know? lol
Cat

If it walks like a tart and talks like a tart..then it's a TART!.....and a luffly one at that! That's our Franny!

[darkeyes]

If it walks like a tart and talks like a tart..then it's a TART!.....and a luffly one at that! That's our Franny!

Aaaah Mumsie... 'magine puttin that unda bad chat up lines.. bloody shockin... cos only hav cuppla teensy weensy wickle things 2 say... wers Droopy Drawers... an wers me??? Dreeps nev win wen it cums 2 competin 'gainst a luffly wickle tart!!! Spoilt cock sure lil madam or no.....:bigrin:

... an all me can say is jus who 1st asked who 2 kiss who??? Don look at me... me innocent... well 'part from plyin the plonk me innocent...;):tong:

[crazy_cat_lady]

I only got ones from the Weird Al song "Wanna B UR Lovr"

"I dont have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?"

"do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by again?"

"stop drop and roll baby, cause girl your on fire."

"your eyes are even bluer, than the water in my toilet."

"I wanna be your Krackatoa, and let my lava flow all over you."

"how did yu get threw security, cause baby your the bomb."

And of coarse my favorate

"girl you must be Jamacan because your jamakin me crazy!"

[tg Shannon]

This is where Mr.Cool (ME) gets shot right out of the saddle...

My Grandfather had passed away up north and they shipped him down here to Tennessee, I was at the funeral home, now anyone that has ever been to a funeral home knows that alot of times they have more than 1 temporary guest in there, there was another visitation goin on at the same time as grandpas, well there was this girl there for the other person and she was standing alone in the lobby and crying, Damn she looked good, all in black, tight dress, heels the whole get up (no she wasnt the widow) so me being the consoling caring person that I am walked up to her to offer comfort (and maybe get a phone number) I had completely forgoten where I was, and of ALL THE DAMN LINES IN THE WORLD, I had ta open my big mouth and say "Come here often?" I relized what I said after it had already got out, well needless to say, she did stop cryin, and gave me this go to hell you weird ass creepy mother fucker look, I said sorry and went to the bathroom, I cried for an hour over my stupidity, cool thing was , everyone thought I was upset over grandpa. true story

[TwylaTwobits]

"You don't look like a geek in those glasses"