If you had to choose sex or intimacy?

[DareMe]

if you had to choose, is it sex or is it intimacy with another same sex person that you prefer?

DM

[Annika L]

I don't understand the question.

To me, sex is a form of intimacy (I know it's not for everyone)...one of my favorites in fact!

Are you asking if I had to choose between sex without intimacy and intimacy without sex, which would I choose?

If so, I would definitely take the intimacy. Sex without intimacy is somewhere between unappealing and scary to me.

[Aristede]

If you mean, intimacy as in the sense of being close or connected to someone, I would choose intimacy. I like that feeling you get when you snuggle up with someone you like or how they rub your hair or playfully jab at you. To me that will always be more important than the sensual experience of sex.

[djones]

No fair making it one or the other.

Sex, Intimate Sex, or Intimate (?) - conversation ? basket weaving ? auto maintenance ? - what exactly are you intimating ?

[Jade Pecker]

Sex. Without a doubt. Any Honest Men out there?

[HarleneQuinnzel]

I wish you would have worded this more clearly DM ...because yes sex can be apart of intimacy but for me emotional intimacy is more important in a relationship then sexual because if you base a relationship souly on sex it fizzles in dies unless both partners know this is just a 'friends with benefits' thing. But being a very affectionate and loving person, though sex would be hard to say no absolutely not to would be difficult i would rather have that intimate connection with some one this feral sex

[12voltman59]

I know "the answer" is supposed to be---"ohh--I'd chose the intimacy over the sex!"--but I have to say----I have quite often in my life had sex with someone before I became intimate with them in non-physical ways----and those relationshisps tended to be the ones that did the best for me----because I have had it go the other way---where my interests in someone started out being non-sexual and even though we became quite fond of each other---for some reason---it became nearly impossible for us to get intimate sexually---and when we tried to have sex----it just messed everything up----I always tried to figure out why some relationships worked out that way--its not that they were physically unattractive in some way---they weren't--heck from the purely physical aspect of things----by the standards of someone like Musafa or whatever his name was--the people I had awesome sex with may not have been the best physical specimens-------it just doesn't make any sense the way things work like that----

Honestly---to start with----in a good number of cases---NOT ALL mind you----to start out--I'd probably chose to start with sex first then work towards developing "intimacy" in other ways!!

Before I do have sex with someone---I do have to feel comfortable with them in some degree---it is really something almost impossible to say what my real criteria are for being with someone---it is more a sense I get of someone that they are OK to be with---and for the most part----things worked out fine.

[mikey3000]

If I had to choose between the two, either sex or intimacty with the same sex person I would choose the intimacy. For me sex was never the end all to be all, though I probably had/have more then my fair share. But it is not the deciding factor at all.

For me, a hot kiss is better that a blow job any day.;)

[Lonewolf76]

If I had to choose between the two, either sex or intimacty with the same sex person I would choose the intimacy. For me sex was never the end all to be all, though I probably had/have more then my fair share. But it is not the deciding factor at all.

For me, a hot kiss is better that a blow job any day.;)

I agree 100% - Very nicely said. It's definitely the intimacy for me. Wolfie

[mikey3000]

Thanks. Funny thing is that on here, I've taken quite a bit of flack for call myself a bi man because of my desires for intimacy with other men. I've been told that I'm actually gay and just scared to admit it. Not so. I crave intimacy from both, but moreso from men now, because it was something I lacked through my whole life. Now it's the goal. Not sex, but intimacy.:bigrin:

[Lonewolf76]

Thanks. Funny thing is that on here, I've taken quite a bit of flack for call myself a bi man because of my desires for intimacy with other men. I've been told that I'm actually gay and just scared to admit it. Not so. I crave intimacy from both, but moreso from men now, because it was something I lacked through my whole life. Now it's the goal. Not sex, but intimacy.:bigrin:

Exactly. I've been told the same thing - handed the BS line by gay friends that Bisexuality isn't real it's just a stepping stone to realizing that you are gay. NOT SO! I am equally attracted to men and women. Like you, I am at a period in my life where I am searching for intimacy with a man. I have had a few relationships with women that didn't last. I am now discovering more of myself in the hopes that I can eventually have a LTR with a man and see what happens. One never knows if one never tries. Good luck! Wolfie

[dafydd]

what is this thing you humans call intimacy?

d

[boca.openminded]

if you had to choose, is it sex or is it intimacy with another same sex person that you prefer?

DM

I understand exactly what you are asking. I think you will see that more bi men are into sex with other men and leave the intimacy for their female partners.

This is how I felt and in order to fully understand what I was feeling I asked many many (at least hundred) men the same question. Even today when I first meet someone in the early stages of our chatting the same intimacy question comes up.

Its just a cock with other bi men. The men that were gay or were more interested in being with men then women loved being intimate with their male partners.

Yes (for those who will attack me) there are those that are not that way but I believe the majority of bi men are only into sex / cock!

[daewoo69]

This may sound funny to most or even all, but i prefer intimacy with a lady or a couple. AND just sex with a male on male. As the boss prefers intimacy with all.
:tongue::tongue::tongue::tongue::tongue:

But a friend of mine, who i was his first male /male experence - perfered the intimacy side.? Go figure we are all different!

[elian]

You must mean the difference between the physical act of sex vs. romance.

Sex for the sake of sex just fills a momentary lustful desire, feelings of intimacy can last a lifetime.

For me it's the romance, hands down - there will come a time when I'm old and sex may just not work out - but I will always be interested in "intimacy" - most humans I know love to be touched in that way.

[Alaskan Couple]

Thanks. Funny thing is that on here, I've taken quite a bit of flack for call myself a bi man because of my desires for intimacy with other men. I've been told that I'm actually gay and just scared to admit it. Not so. I crave intimacy from both, but moreso from men now, because it was something I lacked through my whole life. Now it's the goal. Not sex, but intimacy.:bigrin:


Exactly. I've been told the same thing - handed the BS line by gay friends that Bisexuality isn't real it's just a stepping stone to realizing that you are gay. NOT SO! I am equally attracted to men and women. Like you, I am at a period in my life where I am searching for intimacy with a man. I have had a few relationships with women that didn't last. I am now discovering more of myself in the hopes that I can eventually have a LTR with a man and see what happens. One never knows if one never tries. Good luck! Wolfie

This is also where I'm at. I've experienced casual sex (with both genders), and frankly it does little more for me that I can do with my hand - actually, the hand coupled with my vivid imagination is a bit better - haha.

Fact is, I'm looking for a lover - another man who is not afraid to love. But like all love, it does not come with searching but appears as a gift when least expected. All I can do is open myself to know it when he comes my way....

[someotherguy]

I would choose sex because it's a lot easier to make sex intimate than it is to turn intimacy into sex acts. Once you are having sex, the proximity alone promotes intimacy. That is an advantage in favor of choosing sex. In contrast, starting with intimacy usually leads in all kinds of directions other than sex, such as sharing secrets, or toothbrushes, or knowing where their birthmark is but being in no position to venture either left or right of it for fun.

[Lady_Passion]

Everyone is different, so I say each to his own. Intimacy may be all some people have. Sex without intimacy is all some people are capable of.

[Annika L]

Everyone is different, so I say each to his own. Intimacy may be all some people have. Sex without intimacy is all some people are capable of.

Certainly, m'lady. But the question wasn't about which is better...it was which *you* prefer!

[Long Duck Dong]

intimacy..... a personal relationship and contact, doesn't need to end just cos the cock stops working.....

I am quessing that a married / long term relationship person, may understand what i am refering to, more than a casual sex person..... as its hard to explain in words.....but I also am not implying that casual sex people will not understand

[TaylorMade]

Sex with women. . .intimacy with men.

*Taylor*

[Devin]

Intimacy and closeness are most important to me now... I think sex without intimacy becomes meaningless and a sort of singlehandedly erotic activity.