I need your opinions

[Lonewolf76]

Hey gang,

I just had a very aggravating thing happen (for the umpteenth time). I need honest input into what you all think. Here goes: I am done with the bar scene/meat market, live in a city where it is very hard to meet gay/bi-men. I have fallen back on the old standard of "Outpersonals" adult site. I live alone and I'm always conscious of my safety. I've tried to meet a lot of guys at a safe area such as a coffee house etc. Most of them don't want to meet there they only want to come to my place,play and leave. I really have no problem with that either - but for my safety I've developed a system.

Both of my adult daughters know of my lifestyle and are very open and accepting of it. So when someone I am not that familiar with wants to come over to play - I take a face pic and send it along with their name to my daughters cellphone. Then on the off chance anything ever happens - they at least have a lead. I am amazed at how many say no to this. To me - its simple -If i can't feel safe - I can't/won't play in my home. I let them know this way before they ever show up - I usually get "Goodbye-don't contact me again." So here's my questions - (1) Is this overboard or sensible? and (2) Taking bars out of the equation - where do you meet people?? I'm frustrated and frankly very horny!!! I welcome your honest input. Wolfie

[Doggie_Wood]

Well Wolfie - instead of taking a pic and sending it to yer daughter(s) you could set up a digital security system, let the daughter(s) know about it and if something did happen, they could turn it over to the cops and they would have the proof positive of what transpired. Just don't tell yer play mates know about it. If everything goes well, you'll have you're own library of erotic porn. :bigrin:

Doggie :doggie:

[MarieDelta]

Safe calls are very sensible hon.

Its reasonable to protect your safety.

Denver has a couple of male bathhouses, if you just want sex and or play.

Other than that you have Bars and internet. Both of these have problems..

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Sweet Baby, you arent wrong in your thinking. We All have to be safe and careful these days with play partners. If they cannot understand this, then thats too bad for them. I agree with Doggie, but taking someones pic without their knowledge is a duel edged sword. It could be constrewed as a blackmail attempt, so please be careful. Just let your girls know when you are going to have someone over, and tell them that you will contact them in X amount of hours after the play date leaves. I do that with my adopted kids, I contact them and let them know I am home safe and sound, and if I dont..they are calling me! lol
Have fun but Please take it easy and be safe, Darlin. EEgie and I luffs ya! lol
Cat

[TwylaTwobits]

Being safe is first and foremost the priority, Lone. I gather you tell them about the pic and safety line to your kids long before it gets to the meet and greet stage. If that's the case, then no worries. You have a right to be wary and they have the choice to proceed or not. Hugs to ya hon

[Lonewolf76]

Thanks to all of you. You have made me feel better about my insistence on safety. I'll stand by my orignal thought - my safety first - let them know about the pic far in advance of the meet/greet and then pic ok = play. Dog I love the way you think! LOL Marie - Do you have more info on those Denver Bathhouses?? - that sounds interesting and I'm back and forth to Denver quite often. Thanks again for the honest responses. Hugs and love to you all. Wolfie

[Samantha Sabrina]

You are thinking with a clear head here Sweetie.

I fully understand your frustration with trying to find someone to have some fun and play with, uggggggggggggggs.

However no matter how horny or frustrated I or you might get, ALWAYS look out for number one first.

I know some people have a valid reason for not wanting their pic taken and or give up their name, such as being outed, blckmailed, ect, and that is fine, but one thing you might want to bring to their attenion is this..

This is for your protection as much as it is mine, if it will make you feel any better take my pic as well.

In todays world one can just not be too careful.

Good luck to you sugar.

With Love

Samantha

[Lonewolf76]

You are thinking with a clear head here Sweetie.

This is for your protection as much as it is mine, if it will make you feel any better take my pic as well.

Good luck to you sugar.

With Love

Samantha

Thanks Samantha! I like the idea of your comment above - offering up my pic as well is an excellent idea. Hugs Wolfie

[MarieDelta]

Thanks to all of you. You have made me feel better about my insistence on safety. I'll stand by my orignal thought - my safety first - let them know about the pic far in advance of the meet/greet and then pic ok = play. Dog I love the way you think! LOL Marie - Do you have more info on those Denver Bathhouses?? - that sounds interesting and I'm back and forth to Denver quite often. Thanks again for the honest responses. Hugs and love to you all. Wolfie

Midtowne Spa - http://www.midtowne.com/index.php?fuseaction=dsp_city&c_city=denver

Been here, mostly the guys are guys. It's clean and condoms are provided.


Denver Swim Club - http://www.denverswimclub.com/ - Haven't ever been here, have heard people are "aggressive" there.

CCC Community Country Club - http://www.thetriplec.com/ - Haven't been here or heard anything about it.

[Lonewolf76]

Thanks for the link Marie. It looks awesome - I'll definitely have to check it out! Hugs babe. Wolfie

[mrplayfuluk]

Wolfie I have an S&M friend who has done safe calls on occasions so he doesn't get into trouble. It works that I call him at a certain time within 24 hours or he calls to say all is good. So don't feel weird about it, your lucky you can involve family unconditionally.

[flyer]

Hi lonewolf - I am surprised that you are so trusting. Admitedly, some guys like to have some quick fun but the place to meet is definitely the local sauna (UK) or bathhouse (US). In fact, check out the two sites mentioned - you may be in for a nice surprise! :tongue:

[Doggie_Wood]

Midtowne Spa - http://www.midtowne.com/index.php?fuseaction=dsp_city&c_city=denver

Been here, mostly the guys are guys. It's clean and condoms are provided.


Denver Swim Club - http://www.denverswimclub.com/ - Haven't ever been here, have heard people are "aggressive" there.

CCC Community Country Club - http://www.thetriplec.com/ - Haven't been here or heard anything about it.

Don't know anything of the second two, but I have a membership with Midtowne.
I have been to the Denver, Dallas and Houston locations. Denver was the better of the three.

Doggie :doggie:

[Lonewolf76]

Don't know anything of the second two, but I have a membership with Midtowne.
I have been to the Denver, Dallas and Houston locations. Denver was the better of the three.

Doggie :doggie:

Thanks to all for their comments - Thanks Doggie for the thumbs up on midtowne - Next Sat is my birthday - I think I'll give myslef a little present and go check it out!! LOL

[Doggie_Wood]

Thanks to all for their comments - Thanks Doggie for the thumbs up on midtowne - Next Sat is my birthday - I think I'll give myslef a little present and go check it out!! LOL

Well happy upcoming birthday Wolfie - huggz and kisses

Doggie :doggie:

[Annika L]

Since when is being bisexual, gay, or just hooking up and sleeping with random dudes a "lifestyle"? :rolleyes:

Being bisexual or gay is not a lifestyle...they are sexualities...well spotted. :rolleyes:;)

But how is "just hooking up and sleeping with random dudes" *not* a lifestyle?

And where did "sleeping with random dudes" come from anyway? Lonewolf never said he did that. We have no information about what criteria he uses to select his partners or how well he gets to know them before trying to get together...nor is it any of our business.

Let's take a lesson from recent events and try to show a tadge of respect for another's situation and feelings, shall we? At least where it wouldn't actually hurt us to do so?

[thatcher29]

I've done some of the same things as the OP and I know that trying to meet people online can be extremely frustrating. A whole lot of those guys are probably married or in relationships. I'm sure the request for a face pic is pretty terrifying to them and they think you're a group of right-wing fundamentalists who are going to out them. My suggestion would be to find some way you can talk to them ahead of time and get an idea of who they are and why they're doing what they're doing. Always ask for a phone call and be suspicious if the caller ID is blocked. Another possibility would be to meet them at a public place first and then go to your place if you both feel comfortable. If these guys are serious about meeting you, they will work things out. But I understand why they're paranoid about the face pic requirement.

And of course it's a lifestyle. Everything we do is lifestyle. If being celibate is a lifestyle then why is having sex not one?

[thatcher29]

"Add white rabbit to your ignore list" Hey, this stuff works!

[Annika L]

Hooking up with people online or in bars is just sex!

Nothing more. It's not a lifestyle.

Lone said how he has random guys from the site who jump through his security hoops and who actually want him, go to his place fuck his ass and then leave.

Hooking up with a person online or in a bar is not a lifestyle...it is just an isolated behavior.

What you wrote, however was "just hooking up and sleeping with random dudes"...that sounds like more than one isolated behavior...I read it as "a pattern of hooking up with guys whenever you feel a bit horny"...which is one style of living your life (hence a lifestyle).

Lonewolf never said anything about "random guys" or about anyone "fucking his ass"...am I blind, are you getting this from another thread, or are you just making it up?

[Annika L]

Bisexual and even gay men who are or were partnered or married to women before they come out later in life after living most of their life in the closet and in denial about their sexuality are usually always big into receptive anal sex.

It's the nature of the beast.

Even if the OP does have lots of hook ups that still does not make it a lifestyle at all.

He's just a horny guy getting online or going to bars, hooking up, and getting off.

Ok, so you are *assuming* he's "big into receptive anal sex", and this is in fact nothing Lonewolf said...so why say he said it? Nope, don't bother answering...it was a rhetorical question, and your responses so far tell us all we need to know.

One wonders what you do consider as a "lifestyle".

Is it a lifestyle for a person to lurk about on websites, taking on various profiles, and posting things for the primary purpose of baiting members, until they finally get banned yet again?

Or is that just a hobby? :tong:

[tg Shannon]

I think you got an AWESOME idea, this way if someone is serious about playing then they should not have a prob, the ones that say good bye were either never serious about meeting or they are married and afraid you will tell on them, so ya dont need that anyway.
as far as your other prob, I have the same myself, so I'm open for sugestions on where to meet guys to

[Annika L]

Awwww, the big bunny wabbit disappeauwed! Fancy dat! :tong:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Yep, just another Hydra head, Annika. He goes on the "Click" list along with a couple of others..:}
Cat

[by~his~side]

Lonewolf, in the mood for another opinion?
I'm the wife of a bi man and I am 100% understanding and accepting.

Hubby is not a game player and treats others with the same respect that he would want. Of course my husband wants to be safe during these encounters and he would understand his partners concerns as well. But the idea of having his picture taken and sent to someone else--that would be a deal breaker.
I'm just throwing ideas out here for you now. Can you write down the guys phone number (a tried and true number) and leave it at your place? If you've met through the computer, can't a person be traced that way? I mean, seriously, if you are missing the cops are going to go through your home, car, records....they will find a cyber trail or a paper trail.
As kooky as this may sound, I text my husband several times during his meetings. I always know where he is going and he knows he needs to answer me immediately or risk seeing me walk in on him:tong:. Seriously, if he doesn't answer me I know it's because he can't and that would mean trouble.

[Lonewolf76]

Thanks to all for your comments. I've Iggied - The white rabbit or should I say troll in rabbits clothing! Thanks for all that defended me. I didn't say anything about what I did in the privacy of my bedroom - white rabby only wishes!!!! Dirty old bunny! These are also not just "Random" guys like you would pick up in a bar. They are men I've chatted with a great deal - but that still doesn't make me feel 100% secure -- I'm still going to protect myself. I work in a correctional facility - I am VERY aware that serial killers are EXPERTS at chatting and making you feel comfortable - their charm is what disarms their victims. I just don't want to be the next vivtim - but I do want to continue with my LIFESTYLE (oh did that upset you wabbit???) I appreciate all the feedback. Huggzzzz Wolfie