What to do about bicuriousity

[biphuninab]

Ok, So I thought I was just curious because I was single and not getting laid on a conistant basis. Now Im dating and more curious then ever. All I wanna do is suck a cock. I have no interest in kissing other guys or even sex. But I crave cock. But I only wanna do this with another masculine kinda guy. Am I bi ? Can I try it and it not be cheating? Cause I dont wanna break up I just wanna suck a cock.

[fredtyg]

You're certainly bi- curious. If you end up finally sucking a cock and enjoying it, I'd say you're also bisexual.

As far as whether it would be cheating to suck on a guy when you're seeing a girl, I don't know. Depends on what kind of relationship you have with the girl. I'd say it's not cheating if you never made any commitment to the girl to not get sexual with someone else.

[Realist]

I disagree....and here's the way I feel about it:

If you are in a relationship with anyone, you should not be intimate with anyone else, unless your lover's OK with it.

What if you end up getting some "BUG"; do you want to share it with your GF?

If she's seeing you and is happy in the relationship, there's a commitment, whether it's declared, or not. If you're not happy, let her go and do whatever you like.

Of course, you may do whatever you want, anyway. But, unless you tell her of your desires and find out how she feels about this, seeing another is wrong in my book.

You asked!

[FalconAngel]

I disagree....and here's the way I feel about it:

If you are in a relationship with anyone, you should not be intimate with anyone else, unless your lover's OK with it.

What if you end up getting some "BUG"; do you want to share it with your GF?

If she's seeing you and is happy in the relationship, there's a commitment, whether it's declared, or not. If you're not happy, let her go and do whatever you like.

Of course, you may do whatever you want, anyway. But, unless you tell her of your desires and find out how she feels about this, seeing another is wrong in my book.

You asked!


Well said.

[rissababynta]

I disagree....and here's the way I feel about it:

If you are in a relationship with anyone, you should not be intimate with anyone else, unless your lover's OK with it.

What if you end up getting some "BUG"; do you want to share it with your GF?

If she's seeing you and is happy in the relationship, there's a commitment, whether it's declared, or not. If you're not happy, let her go and do whatever you like.

Of course, you may do whatever you want, anyway. But, unless you tell her of your desires and find out how she feels about this, seeing another is wrong in my book.

You asked!

I agree.

[tenni]

Ok, So I thought I was just curious because I was single and not getting laid on a conistant basis. Now Im dating and more curious then ever. All I wanna do is suck a cock. I have no interest in kissing other guys or even sex. But I crave cock. But I only wanna do this with another masculine kinda guy. Am I bi ? Can I try it and it not be cheating? Cause I dont wanna break up I just wanna suck a cock.


Well, as expected, the fanatic couplings theorist are out posting here because it has worked for them....:rolleyes: So predictable..:bigrin:

Since you were interested before you began dating this woman and you are still interested, I'd guess that you are interested in going further whether you're dating continues or not. You describe a fairly common bisexual starting point. A lot of guys are not interested in kissng another guy (at the beginning or forever) and more fascinated with the cock. Some are so interested that the person attached to the cock is not relevant to them. You point out that the guy should be masculine...again a common desire but not always.

I'd almost bet that you are bisexual but you won't know until you have tried it. I can almost guarantee you that the desire will not vanish. Even after you try it, you may have some guilt feeling. if you do, let the guilt go. If that doesn't work, of course you will stop. The desire may come back though and you want to try again. Then you will know that you are bi. You may enjoy sucking dick. Either way, then you will know.

As one poster wrote, you will have to decide what to do next. If you are only dating this woman and not sexually involved with her, when the opportunity knocks, you may want to try a guy. If you are sexually involved with her, only you can decide if the opportunity knocks. It is better to resolve your curiousity before "becoming in a relationship" with her. You decide at what point that it is a "relationship" and not "dating". Then the other "coupledom' s position is probably the best route about disclosure before it is a relationship. Until then, you are not committed to this woman that you are dating. Only you can decide whether to end it and just try a guy or keep dating her and try a guy. If you have read some of the threads, you will discover that whether to disclose to all women that you are dating is the best route or not. There is no one answer. For some, it is best. For others, it ends the date(ing). Straight women tend to reject/accepts a guy that they date differently than a straight guy accepts/rejects a bi chic....but there are no hard lines or signs of predicting in either case..yet.

Bottom line is that you will want to try a guy's cock and it won't go away...for long until you do try it. Some bi guys have the urge and then it goes away. It comes back though and so don't be surprised if this happens too.

[allbimyself]

Only YOU can answer the question of whether or not it is cheating. And the question is rather simple. Would the understanding you have with your GF now make it cheating on her if you were with another woman?

If so, then it is cheating even if it's with a man.

BTW, despite what Bill Clinton might have you believe, oral sex IS sex, and if you have or want sex with both genders, you are bisexual.

[fredtyg]

I can almost guarantee you that the desire will not vanish.

Good point. That seems to be a common thing here: Some think their same- sex desires will go away eventually, but they ever do. They might be suppressed, but they never really go away.

As has been mentioned in these forums before, it's probably best to be honest with yourself about your sexuality before getting involved in relationships, especially long term ones.

[open2both]

YES you are!
Quit agonizing over the LABEL of being BISEXUAL and embrace the "new"/"free-er" you!
D.:bipride:

[IndyBiFun]

I'd say you are bi as well. I was "curious" for a long time and then once I finally allowed myself to experiment I discovered that I WAS and AM bisexual. I dsicovered that I enjoyed giving oral and being intimate with a guy.

And, I also discovered that I enjoy kissing a guy too. It's just like a woman; if he or she enjoys kissing and is good at it it's a great feeling.

Allow yourself to explore (safely of course) and I bet you'll like it.

As others have said, if you suppress everything that feeling and desire will forever knaw at you.

[Pandora8902]

I am not entirely sure that bicuriosity is something that has to have something done about it. We are who we are. I wouldn't even say that the bicuriosity is even the issue here, but the fact that you are in a relationship now and wanting to explore your own sexuality.

I find it surprising that no one has mentioned discussing this and the feelings that you are having with your partner. Lets be honest, if you are indeed bi this is something that eventually would need to tell them. And knowing off the bat, before years of commitment are on the table, how accepting (or not) this woman would be of your sexuality could save you a lot of grief in the long run - or you may discover that you have found someone to be a true friend through your exploration process.

Cheating is not something that has a universal definition. That being said, the only way to define cheating within your own relationship is to communicate.

[citystyleguy]

I disagree....and here's the way I feel about it:

If you are in a relationship with anyone, you should not be intimate with anyone else, unless your lover's OK with it.

What if you end up getting some "BUG"; do you want to share it with your GF?

If she's seeing you and is happy in the relationship, there's a commitment, whether it's declared, or not. If you're not happy, let her go and do whatever you like.

Of course, you may do whatever you want, anyway. But, unless you tell her of your desires and find out how she feels about this, seeing another is wrong in my book.

You asked!

...and from this corner, a big AMEN!

[Donkey_burger]

Ok, So I thought I was just curious because I was single and not getting laid on a conistant basis. Now Im dating and more curious then ever. All I wanna do is suck a cock. I have no interest in kissing other guys or even sex. But I crave cock. But I only wanna do this with another masculine kinda guy. Am I bi ? Can I try it and it not be cheating? Cause I dont wanna break up I just wanna suck a cock.

You can't and shouldn't "try it" without being cheating unless and until you speak with your girlfriend at minimum. I would also recommend you and your girlfriend get tested for STDs' before you start having sex, or at least shortly after.

DB :flag3:

[xtopherix]

Speaking as someone who started his experimentation in a relationship, the more communication you have with your partner about this the better. I was give permission to fool around with a guy a little, but because I didn't talk enough with my girlfriend while I was experimenting, the relationship fell apart. Additionally, I wouldn't discredit emotion in this whole process either. I'm a firm believer that there is no such thing as "casual sex." It's been my experience that no matter what you do and who you do it with, it's going to affect anyone involved on an emotional level. It's hard to have sex without feeling. If you do, you run the chance of seriously messing yourself up later with guilt and ill-feelings. Do it with someone you trust.

[Donkey_burger]

Go out and have sex with a guy and suck his cock since that's what you want to do.

If the woman is your girlfriend break up with her before you cheat on her.

If you are just casually dating her and having sex with her there's no need to break up since you are not cheating on her by having sex with another person even if they are a man and not a woman since you're not in a serious or comitted relationship with her.

Getting tested for STDs is pointless since you will not get anything deadly and horrible from giving oral sex or from getting it. You don't make women get tested before you have sex with them, do you?

Giving and getting oral sex is very low risk for HIV even if you do swallow.

You can try telling your GF or this woman you're dating about how you are bisexual or want sex with men but in my experience this will frighten her and she'll probably break up with you or not be supportive of you.

Yes it is possible for sex to be just sex.

I couldn't disagree more.

For one thing, it's not a good idea to break up with somebody just so you get a @*$&. And what's the definition of "casual sex" or "casual dating", anyway? Everyone has a different answer. If you're having sex, you're having sex. If you're dating, you're dating. End of discussion.

If the relationship is "meant to be", then it'll survive coming out. If it doesn't, it wouldn't be worth dating that person.

And yes, oral sex is low risk, but there's still risk. Why would you risk death or sterility so you can fun?

DB :flag4: