bi-curious-bi-sexual???

[blueeyed_blondie]

Hello I stumbled upon this site and was hoping others might be able to help that have gone through or are going through what I'm feeling. I have always identified as hetro sexual, dating strictly men. I am currently in a 2 year relationship with a man whom I live with. Recently I have finding my self fantasizing about being sexual with another women, the idea turns me on hugely! I have been watching some girl-girl porn and I get so turned on. Without getting to personal, let's just say it can make me orgasm. I have talked to my bf about the possibilty of me experimenting with the same sex he said he wasn't comfortable with that (or) even the idea of a 3some senerio, which I can understand. My question is what can I do about these feelings and wondering, am a bi-sexual and how will I ever know unless I experiment? This probably sounds idiotic but is there a way other then that to figure out if I am just bi-curious or infact truely bi-sexual? Thanks to any and all input I feel so lost right now and I have noone I can trust or that could relate to talk to.

[Long Duck Dong]

mmm its a bit like not knowing if you really like coffee until you drink it

ok lol bisexual is a dual meaning, bisexual as in to have sex with both genders and bisexual as is to be attracted to both genders..
depending on who you talk to, people have different understandings of the term bisexual

you define yourself as a bicurious bisexual, and the way you put it is that you are attracted to males on a emotional and sexual level.. and females on a sexual level....
the bicurious part tells me that you are curious about the level of interest, if it is just sexually or more than just sexually....

thats fine.... and yes, there is only one real way to find out if being intimate with a lady is for you in reality and thats to be with a lady..

now you have a partner that is not keen on it....and its good to see that you understand his feelings and opinion, but what concerns does he have about it.... the loss of you to another lady, sharing you, relationship difficulties, or a strong sense of fidelity in relationships ???
they are issues that will affect most bisexuals in relationships... and working thru them can be hard....

there are some people that will say its your body, your right, cheat if you have to
there are some that will say respect your partner and the relationship
there are some that will say, give it time and work towards a compromise
and there are some that will say if your partner doesn't understand, leave them...

me, lol... I am a old stick in the mud... I will say a lil of all 4...
experiment privately by yourself and learn how you find about the ladies around you and learn if its a sexual, emotional or both, attraction...thats to say experiment with porn and fantasies and your everyday relationship with people around you....
talk with you partner about your feelings and thoughts as you develop a better understanding of things....
allow your partner to talk with you freely....
if the relationship fails for any reason, do not force it to go on... just take the memories and cry the tears, then use that time of being single to experiment

one bit of advice tho, its a old saying, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence... and thats true.... porn is like the grass on the other side of the fence, except its been air brushed and scented and tweaked to look good....
it gives a image of great sex ( actually it looks like robots fucking ) but you never see a lot of the issues that happen in real life... arguments between partners and lovers, body self image, meeting potential lovers, dirty sheets, that time of the month, people with bad hygiene etc etc

all that stuff is a reality of the bisexual lifestyle.. so yeah good luck with your experimenting and exploration of the bisexual world... and with your partner, I hope that time does bring a compromise and a more open chance to experiment....

ps... the other thing porn never shows, is a person farting when you are going down on them.... its also a reality of the bisexual lifestyle...and one we never talk about

[Realist]

BB, I'm afraid no one will be able to answer your questions for you. Only YOU can do what needs to be done to fill your needs. I would venture to say that you certainly exhibit the signs of being bisexual. If you have that desire, do not allow anyone to decide for you, what is best for you.

I'm no professional psychologist and never played one on TV, but as a bisexual male, who is dating a bisexual girl, I can tell you that you'll never know, unless you try it.

If I may suggest: If you choose to experiment, that you wait until you can meet someone who you can be totally yourself with. Look for someone who shares the same interests and desires. If you settle for less than you hope for, you may be disappointed and never realize the full potential that a loving, caring relationship can bring.

My GF tried twice with ladies who were pushy, self-centered and did not share mutual interest with her. She was very frustrated and unfulfilled. Luckily, on her third try, she met a very loving, passionate girl, who was her emotional and physical equal. The ensuing relationship was rewarding and passionate. To her their union was exquisite and she admits one of the highlights of her life.

Good luck and I hope whatever you choose to do, that it will meet all of your expectations.

[indio]

Yes, you are bisexual; it may be only by a few degrees on the Kinsey Scale, but if you can orgasm by fantasizing about it -- you can expect to be competently aroused by the actual same sex sexual intercourse.

My advice: take all the advice given in the above reply from Long Duck Dong, and apply it to the degrees that you would be comfortable with. To do otherwise is sort of like learning to swim by practicing it on the ground without ever entering the water.

Can you live comfortably without ever having sex with a woman? The answer to that will direct your future actions...

Good luck.

[freshfun]

I absolutely agree with the previous post...

You probably won't know whether this is only fun for you in fantasy or you want the reality without going a little further to find out.

A wise friend asked me what it would mean for me to deny that part of myself and my answer was that I would feel like I had lost a limb. This helped me clarify that it was a significant part of who I am and that I needed to acknowledge and accept that part of myself.

Keep in mind that you may not need to have all the answers today...there is time to work through the process. By taking some time you will have the opportunity to understand yourself better and the time for your relationship to adjust to the idea.

I believe you can have whatever relationship you can negotiate. You can, of course, have whatever relationship you choose too. Within your relationship, I find that challenging your relationship gives it the opportunity to grow. If it's a good relationship already you may want to give it that chance.

Let us know how it goes.

[Donkey_burger]

First and foremost, I believe it is best that you stay faithful and committed to your boyfriend. This means different things in different relationships. If that means that you don't have a female friends with benefits, so be it.

Talk a lot more, though. Maybe you can date other females, alongside dating him? Maybe the two of you can watch girl-on-girl porn together?

DB :flag3:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Hi Sweetie. Welcome to the site. I think you're Bi-curious, Hon. You are immensely turned on by thse prospect of being with another woman, so thats a great indication..lol The only way you'll ever know for sure is to have your first Bi situation. It can be an aquired 'taste' (no pun intended) but like Duck said, you'll never know until you discover for yourself. It's too bad your honey cant support you on this more, but maybe he'll come around sometime. :}
Goos luck sugar. Pop into chat sometime and get to know us. ;)
Cat, everyones Feline

[MarieDelta]

one bit of advice tho, its a old saying, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence... and thats true.... porn is like the grass on the other side of the fence, except its been air brushed and scented and tweaked to look good....
it gives a image of great sex ( actually it looks like robots fucking ) but you never see a lot of the issues that happen in real life... arguments between partners and lovers, body self image, meeting potential lovers, dirty sheets, that time of the month, people with bad hygiene etc etc

all that stuff is a reality of the bisexual lifestyle.. so yeah good luck with your experimenting and exploration of the bisexual world... and with your partner, I hope that time does bring a compromise and a more open chance to experiment....

ps... the other thing porn never shows, is a person farting when you are going down on them.... its also a reality of the bisexual lifestyle...and one we never talk about

So very true!

Never had anyone fart yet, thank God(knock on wood.)

But yes, all that other stuff applies.

[blueeyed_blondie]

Thanks everyone, so far all of your advice has been very insightful and extremly helpful:) I feel very welcome and comfortable on this site already. Your kindess and understanding is much appreicated!!

[still_shy]

Welcome to the site :) I hope you find it as wonderful as I have and maybe find some answers to your questions. I agree with everything said above...the only way you'll ever really know for sure is to try it. But....like the others, I see the problems you are encountering with your boyfriend as a roadblock. Possibly by incorporating your desires into the bedroom he will grow to accept this part of you and allow you to experiment within the relationship. I've seen the situation go both ways (bad pun intended :P) and only you can decide how you want to proceed. My personal experience was such that once I decided I wanted to have sex with a woman, it drove me crazy until I did it. It wasn't a matter of wanting to, it was a have to situation. I hope things become clearer to you and you are able to figure out how to handle your newfound desires!