Who Is Your Greatest Influence?

[darkeyes]

A few weeks back, Canticle and I discussed briefly in another thread our respective fathers, and the immense contribution they made to turn us into the people we are today. There is no doubt of all the people who influenced me, my father is by some distance the greatest, yet there are others who helped shape me into the Fran u all know and love.. or hate.. you pay your money and make your choice..:tong:

While dad may have been my greatest influence it was not always so.. his father, who I briefly touched on in the other thread was probably the first great influence on my life. It was he who taught my father about so many things, and in my childhood taught me how to ride a bicycle, how to swim, when not to be huffy (a failure I think that one). He taught me to love the world about me, and to treasure the other inhabitants of this beautiful planet. He caught me and my sister destroying the nest of a pheasant and throwing the eggs at each other. He didnt shout, but asked us to follow him. He took us to our tree house which he promptly demolished as a lesson in pain, vandalism and murder. We got the message pretty quickly. Our long chats about the world and our environment, about preserving the world we have didn't fall on stony ground.

It was my grandfather who first articulated to me what homosexuality truly was about. That it is but a natural thing which many of us will be, and that we should not be ashamed of it. I was only about 9 or 10 and didnt know too much about same sex love except that there were people who spurned the opposite sex; people known to many intolerant fools as poofs,queers, and perversions of nature. He explained that they were none of those things, simply that they were people following their nature and instincts. It was he I first confessed my then bisexual feelings to when I was about 13. The lovely old goat smiled and said little except to say "I'm no blind wee lassie.. hae a wee word wi' yer mum and dad.. they're no blind either..".

It still took me some time to tell mum and dad, because no matter how much we think our parents will be ok with something, we are young, lack confidence and self belief to some degree at least and so we sit on things and let them smoulder. When I did finally pluck up the courage to tell them he was as ever right.

I know I am mushy about my family at times. It contains some right shitebags like any other but the ones that mean most to me I adore..and my Granpa after my dad was special. I post this because today is the anniversary of his death and I think about him and miss him today as I do every anniversary. He was a very special man, and any who think me a mysandrist, don't know just how much these two men, my dad and granpa mean to me and how they helped shape me into who I am.

[Realist]

Fran, that is a wonderful story! You are extremely lucky to have a family, like that!

I'm afraid, that although my parent's loved me and I was never abused, they did not provide me with the basics needed to enter adulthood and deal with my many issues. Nothing, the least bit controversial was ever discussed in my home. Questions about sexuality, especially, were responded to with, "you're too young to know that, or we don't discuss things like that with children", etc, etc. The time when I was old enough never came, when those things could be discussed.

They were stern, hard working, and very inflexible in their beliefs and morals. I assume they figured I'd learn as they did...however that was. Maybe they never did learn, themselves, and didn't know how to deal with providing that information!

From a early age, I was filled with curiosity about both genders, but learned to be extremely cautious about revealing my thoughts. Basically, I lived one life, as an exhibit of how well-behaved I was, and one life deep within my mind. I could have easily been two people, then. It was some time before I was able to be myself.

Anyway, fast forward through my introduction to sex, by an older male neighbor, some inept sexual escapades, with both genders, over the years of 14 through 21.

At 21, I met and fell in love with an older retired nurse, who saw something within me that she understood more than I did. Being bisexual, also, gave her the insight she needed to help me get my life on track. For 2 years, I lived with and loved her in ways few others could have.

She helped me overcome most of the guilt I felt, because of being attracted to both sexes, and taught me that being bisexual did not mean I was a perverted, evil, person, but one who has the capacity for loving both genders.

She also taught me how to love her, while instilling in me the fact that everyone's different. If I'd listen to them, each person would tell/show me how they needed to be loved. She also taught me that I should reveal my needs and desires to any I entered a relationship with. One concept that really shook me was, the fact that some people are perfectly capable of being in love with more than one person.

I'm sure I would have stayed with her until her end, as she knew many more things I needed to learn. As odd as it may sound, I loved her, too.

But, Vietnam disrupted my life about that time. I never saw her again, but her patience, love, and the things she instilled in me, will be with me always.

[rissababynta]

My biggest influences to becoming the person I am today was my grandmother, my mother, my father and Barry Manilow. Yeah...I said it...Barry Manilow...but it's true so leave me alone :-P

I can't provide any big story or anything else, but all I can say is that these were my influences in life.

[TwylaTwobits]

This might seem sad in a way but some of the greatest influences in my life only exist in the minds of literary giants. From them I learned about passion and compassion, about love and about hate, about greed and philanthropy. That being said I have to thank my father for my love of books. He passed on to me one of his most treasured hobbies along with teaching me how to shoot and how to fix a car.

[MarieDelta]

There are a couple of them. Although My aunt Marie probably was my earliest inspiration, the one I spent the most time with was my uncle Gary.

As many of you may(or may not know) I had some rather rough early school years including one rather abusive first grade teacher. That teacher tried to have me marked down as "retarded" (due to my dyslexia) and my aunt Marie went into the school office and raised holy hell with them. She is now an instructor at one of the universities teaching biological sciences to graduate students.

My uncle Gary was more present in my life. He was a paraplegic and his work was teaching other disabled individuals to survive on their own. He taught me that although life is sometimes difficult, you can survive. He was someone who taught me to think outside the box and introduced me to debate and literature. Regretfully, Gary passed away in a fire about twelve years ago. However, I think of him often.

[mikey3000]

For me, I really didn't have anyone who influenced me. Rather it was their absense that did it, set the examples of what not to do. I really am a self raised kid. Both parents were alcoholics who weren't around much for me growing up. And when they were, it was always an embarassment. My dad died very young and from then on it was me keeping my mom out of trouble. My BPD sister hated me and wished me dead from an early age. Even as I worked to put myself through college, I graduated second in my class and my mother went into a depression for months cause I wasn't Validictorian.

I got my greatest joy from the tv, The Carol Burnett show, Little House, The Brady Bunch. Those were my families.

[Canticle]

Biggest influence. My Dad, who would be 102, if still alive. My Dad, who had to leave school at 13, go to work in the cotton mill, escaped that by joining his father's regiment, The Royal Horse Artillery, with which he spent nearly 7 years in India.

He learned to ride a horse, with just a blanket over the animal's back. He had to eat curry every midday, which put him off Indian food, for the rest of his life. He saw things, as a young man, that still happen today, in that vast country and it coloured his way of thinking.

He would tell us about India, many times and Yes, it has left me with a fascination for the country. I like novels set in India and Indian sub continent foreign language films.

He was not educated, but he was not stupid. He was a skilled man, he definitely had artistic talents and he was the best man in the whole wide world.

He made bloody good Victoria Sandwiches, the best cup of tea and he is remembered by everyone who knew him, as a wonderful man.

I miss him, because, I'd like to hear about India again and I wish my sons could remember him. My younger son is exactly like him. The resemblance is remarkable.

My mother.....No!

My children, Yes...because it is fascinating to watch a helpless baby, very soon, understand it's surroundings and develop a personality. It's joyous and at times frustrating, being a parent, but ultimately rewarding.

Happy Birthday to my beloved daughter, who is 21 today.

Two men, but not the one I married. The first, a man who I only knew, from the persona he allowed people to see...but he understood me...Yes, he did,

The second, an amazing man, who inspired me, and triggered my very fast spiritual growth over the last four years. Yes, he did, but there are always things, which are an illusion and with every blessing, there comes a curse and nought comes of it.

Various people who I have known, for many different reasons. Books, art, history. I don't have heroes. I have anti-heroes. Richard III, Edward I and Edward VIII (my eldest child, has two of his names).

A rabbit called Smudge, who loved her guinea pigs and never could understand why their ears did not grow. She was the most gentle animal, I have known and I will never forget, watching her lift her body up, so that an ailing guinea pig, could creep underneath her, to keep warm. She outlived four guinea pigs and the died of a broken heart, it was just too much for her. Nice to think of her in Bunny heaven, black as soot, with a white smudge on her nose and on one paw. RIP Smudge.

And a guinea pig, born to our very first GP. She was the runt of the litter and had no eyes. She was always the first to come squeaking for food and she would sleep by the dry food bowl. Kipper.....a plucky little pig, who often bumped into things and was sometimes in pain, but she was a treasure.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

My Mother and brothers were my greatest influances. My Father, I just considered a sperm donor, thats all.
Cat

[topheavynurse]

I have had what some might call a very interesting and sometimes difficult life. My parents are not my heros due to the fact that i never truely knew them. They both were too young and messed up to have a kid. My mom liked drugs and my dad liked other women and his band. Dont get me wrong i love/d them both. The death of my mother impacted me greatly. It changes me as a person and a nurse. I also credit the horrible nurses she had in hospice as aiding in my change as a nurse. I never wanted to be like that. My dad was great at first and never missed a birthday, holiday or summer til i was around 14 then he moved and dropped off the face of the earth. He has resently kinda talked to me. I'm trying. well on to my influences.

My grandmother no matter how much she pisses me off has made a major impact on my life. My grandparents(moms parents) raised me. My grandmother is a nurse and thus layed the ground floor of my career choice. She is a very loving and compassionate person. Although not so much toward me... she holds a lot of expectations for me that i don't live up to. but nonetheless she helped shape me. I never realized how much she did to make me feel like i was loved. Other than her there are some friends that have helped me to develop my mommyness thanks to being there mother when they went out...lol. As far as men go there have been 2 significant men to touch my life. The first was my best friend and on again off again interest in high school. He was everything i wanted in a man. He was perfect for me but i was several years younger and scared. He taught me what it was like to feel loved in that way. it ended poorly because i was insecure like any other single teenage mom at the time. I regret how i treated him and that he loved me as much as he did and never knew it was mutual. the second man i married. He is patient with me. He knows im uptight and a little more than a little spoiled but he truely loves me he has mellowed me a lot. He loves my children as if they were his flesh and blood. I learn from him everyday and thank the stars i found him and fought for him. He showed me that fighting for what you want no matter how far away it seems can work. Better than you can imagine. I am sure the influences on my life are still making changes in me and showing me how to be better. I know that my children are doing just that as is my sweet babydoll girlfriend. my life is ever changing and i like that. i sould not change my family or my loves for all the world.

I hope this makes sence... not sure if it makes complete sence to me

:male::female::female:

[void()]

Influences, huh?

Well let me start by not starting. Honestly I feel it almost better to not say.
But here I am.

My mother has greatly influenced my life. Through her I learned so many a lesson. First, of all that courage truly truly does take strength, the kind she never had.

She had me by a guy that ran off. He was a real piece of work. Never talk to him now. Met him when I was 17 for a bit. He doesn't handle responsibility.

But mom let me go visit him. I was given free will. She also got married to the next guy. He was an abusive maniac. I didn't need to do a thing to get a beating.

Of course, mom got pregnant real fast. Then again right after the first one. He had his hooks in her then, fear.

I learned love is a person's greatest weakness and strength. When you think it won't get worse, it does. If you want and need to break, you won't.

Not breaking came in handy in the service. I outlasted some of the nastiest nasty, and came back for more. But love kept me from vanishing into a life of service. I wanted to tell mom good bye. That's not how things like that are done, though.

I still try washing it off my hands. But it is there to stay. You do what you need to do when your told it's the right. And now, I come and realize a very unsettled person inside.

I tell my mom I could kill her and my brothers if need came to pass. She doesn't even flinch. She knew all along how to push the buttons, to forge the monster. I keep it locked up safely away, the spartan.

She raised me as a wolf. The world/s now don't need wolves. Oh, that's right America is just modern Rome. Guess I'm Roman then, through and through. So yeah, mom, who reveals after years she too is bisexual, created me.

Any wonder I get so lost?

[Darkside2009]

Very sad and elegant stories, I hardly know what to say, except, Barry Manilow? Put that woman back in the closet immediately and don't let her out again. Lol

[Falling Leaves]

My Greatest Influence is all of you.