Laughter is the best medicine.

[Darkside2009]

In Ireland we tend not to take Life too seriously. With this in mind I think we should start a joke thread that you can dip into when you are feeling blue. Feel free to add your own joke.

Two dyslexic Leprachauns, Seamus and Peter are driving down the road.

Peter turns to Seamus and asks, 'Can you smell petrol?' To which Seamus replies, 'I can't even spell my own name, let alone yours.'

[jem_is_bi]

I can't smell my own name either but I can definitely smell this joke.

[Darkside2009]

Bill Clinton whilst flying back from London to Washington, finds himself seated beside Rev Ian Paisley,( a fundamentalist Christian Minister and Politician).

They are in the middle of making small-talk when the Stewardess arrives at their seats with the drinks.

Bill Clinton has a whisky and soda and the stewardess turns to Ian Paisley and asks him what would he like to drink?

Paisley replies, 'I'd rather be ravaged by the Whore of Babylon, than let one drop of the Devil's buttermilk touch my lips.

Bill Clinton on hearing this gives the stewardess back his drink saying, ' Sorry! Miss, I didn't realise their was a choice.'

********************************

A little girl and her grandmother were walking through the park when they came across a couple of dogs shagging on the pavement.

'What are they doing?' Asks the little girl innocently. The Grandmother is obviously embarrassed about having to give an answer to this naïve question.

'Um...Well...the dog on top has hurt his paw and the dog on the bottom is just trying to help him home.'

The little girl frowns and grunts, 'Men!'

'What do you mean?'Said the Grandmother.

'Try to help one of the bastards out and they'll F**k you every time.

[graniteman1953]

I was at the ATM the other day, when an elderly woman approached and asked me if I could help check her balance. So, I pushed her!!

[Donkey_burger]

One day, shortly after Bush Jr. was elected, Bush and Clinton were talking about being president. At point, Bush needed to use the toilet. He went across the hall, which, after all, had the sign "authorized personal only", and was excited to find a golden toilet! He was so excited about it that he went home after finishing the conversation with Clinton, and told Laura all about this golden toilet!

Shortly after the presidents spoke, Laura and Hillary had a conversation about being a first lady. At one point, Laura blushed and said "Oh, Hillary, I know who peed in your husbands trombone a couple days ago...".

DB :bipride: