Open-minded, supportive pastoral response

[TheBisexualProfessor]

Sometimes it can be common for forums like this to include ridicule of religious persons. I'm glad that this isn't a problem on this forum, and for that, I thank everyone! I came across this very open-minded pastoral response on a blog and want to share it with everyone. Enjoy!

http://hugoschwyzer.net/2008/10/22/a-very-long-post-about-bisexuality-fidelity-fantasy-masturbation-and-desire-a-response-to-neil/

[tenni]

Sorry, but I find this is written by a Christian who does not accept or understand all aspects of bisexuality and the reality of bisexuality. It is placing a religious dogma as a higher priority than a natural biological and psychological reality. It enforces a Christian heterosexual fidelity and morality concept that is well ingrained in western societies on to bisexuals. That is fine for those who find such thoughts compatible and comfortable. His thoughts deny other possibilities because it conflicts with his religious beliefs. I find his thoughts too narrow minded and an unnatural if not illogical approach to bisexuality.

I believe that eventually bisexuals will place this interpretation in the same container as the concept that masturbation is a sin and bad for you. I believe that this is not appropriate for all bisexuals whether in a partnership or single. I think that on this site that there is far too little positive discussion on the aspects of a long term threesome/foursome polyamour as a good choice for bisexuals. With studies reporting that 60% of men in marriages will have an affair during the marriage and 40% of women, his views are not realistic. He seems to be on his fifth marriage as well and so his views have not really worked for him personally. If we can get over our concept that masturbation is bad, why not get over the concept that monogomy is the the best approach for bisexuals?

[rissababynta]

That was a nice read. Thanks for sharing.

[fredtyg]

Sorry, but I find this is written by a Christian who does not accept or understand all aspects of bisexuality and the reality of bisexuality. It is placing a religious dogma as a higher priority than a natural biological and psychological reality. It enforces a Christian heterosexual fidelity and morality concept that is well ingrained in western societies on to bisexuals. That is fine for those who find such thoughts compatible and comfortable.

I don't think the author himself would deny it was written at least partly from a Christian perspective. There's nothing wrong, imo, with making observations from a religious perspective.

I thought it was a fairly nice read and I'm not a Christian (although my brother is an Episcopalian priest). My only complaint would be that he used a lot of words to basically say bisexuality is no more a threat to monogamy than anything else.

[fredtyg]

Oh, and that it's ok to jack off.

[12voltman59]

I thought that the person writing this essay did a pretty good job and he or she shows the kind of way being that I consider to be a "good Christian" in that he or she is not dogmatic---and is realistic--doesn't live in some notion of the way the world "ought to be" but really is and has a loving, caring approach to the ministry, counselling, etc he or she provides to the members of that church.

Thanks for posting this link so we can read it and make our own minds up.

[12voltman59]

I also liked the essay because the person writing it-coming from a Christian background--- did not either try to say that bisexuality doesn't exist or more typically--that bisexuality is another behavior or state of being that "is an abomination before God" and as such---anyone who engages in it--just as gays are--are irretrievably doomed to hell!!

I can see the person's focusing on "fidelty" to one partner no matter the nature of the makeup of the partners--that is pretty consistent with Christian views and as a person providing counseling to couples coming from a Christian perspective---they are working well within the context of the world in which they operate.

[Long Duck Dong]

I enjoyed reading that ... it was very interesting and enjoyable to see a ( I am assuming hetero ) male christian talking openly about their understanding of bisexuality in relationships

as a ex christian, I understand what they are saying with fidelity and monogamy.... if you are bisexual, you will have desires, but do not treat your partner like they are a added extra in your life, they are a person too and you need to remember that they will be there for you and with you, if you let them be a part of your life....
if you cannot be totally with them with your body, at least be with them with your heart and treat them like they really matter to you even when you are outside of the marriage / relationship and in the arms / bed of another....

I enjoyed reading the remark * And if one has a history of having slept with folks of many races, or of both sexes, all it means is that in the act of marrying, you may have a few extra doors to shut. But the basic principle is the same: in pledging fidelity, we make a conscious choice to do what is often difficult and unnatural. *

he openly acknowledges a part of human nature and admits that yes it is differcult and unnatural not to want to taste * forbidden * fruits.... but that in marriage, you can choose to be with your partner heart and soul, or you can choose the easier option, which is not to commit heat and soul

I can relate to that, as I choose to commit fully and monogamously to one person, as going outside of the relationship causes a internal conflict in me, I end up feeling like i have betrayed my partner and not given her the right and the chance to enjoy a sexual experience with me...

I need to shut up.... but again, brillant blog and kudos to the writer