My first time with another guy

[loupstein]

Hi community,

Last week I had my first sexual experience with another guy, which means I'm now no longer bicurious but, heh, "really bi" (that's how it works, right? lol :tongue:). That said, I found out a couple of things about myself, but I'm still a bit confused about others so I'd like some friendly input.

One thing I noticed was that while I was excited, I didn't get a (full) erection. It could be the case that the other guy's body was not as awesome as I'd fantasized, or it could be that I was somewhat drunk, or that it was my first time. However, I'm a bit troubled: is it going to be the case that with other men I'll be a "bottom"? It's not that I have a problem with that (in fact, the "little bitch" in me had real fun sucking and rubbing on his cock), it's just that I had fantasized me being much more active. Plus, sex is also about having orgasms...

Another thing I'd like some advice on is about condoms. I was really really careful about it, I even had the guy wear a condom while I was sucking his dick. Although that makes me feel really safe, I don't know if that was a bit too much and if I came out as irritating. Is oral sex without condoms safe?

Finally, it being my first time sucking cock, I accidentally ended up hurting him a bunch of times. It could be that I was, ehm, eager, but my skills are not advanced anyway. What does one do to avoid causing pain while at the same time being stimulating enough?

Thanks for any replies!

:bipride:

[fredtyg]

Sucking cock is supposed to be relatively low risk for transfer of AIDS, but not necessarily other STDs like herpes. I never use condoms for oral. Anal is a little different. I consider myself a barebacker, but that's easy to say if you can count all the guys you've had anal sex with over the last 10 years on one hand and I inseminated them. They didn't put any in me.

If this guy is someone you're planning on doing this regularly with, and he's not screwing all the other guys in town, I'd recommend both of you go down together and get tested for STDs. If you're both clean, see if you can't make a commitment to at least tell each other if you end up having sex outside your relationship so you can get tested again and/or use protection.

As far as hurting the guy, I'm not sure what you might of done unless you bit into him or scraped him with your teeth. Try and make sure only your lips and tongue touch his cock. With me, most of my activity is massaging the bottom of the guy's cock with my tongue and sliding my lips up and down on the cock. I rarely let my teeth touch him, at least I try not to.

[Rudy75]

Don't worry about not getting a full erection. It was your first time. You were nervous, and a little drunk. Next time you will probably more comfortable with it.

By the way, many guys lose their erections during anal sex. Keep that in mind if you choose to bottom. :male::male:

[thatcher29]

Think about the first time you had sex with a woman. If you were like most people, you were nervous and everything was a bit awkward. Sex with men is no different. Believe me, it improves with practice. And like with women, the best sex is when you have a steady partner and both of you get to know what the other likes.

[AdamKadmon43]

Why do I even bother to read this crap???

[oldbone]

Why do I even bother to read this crap???

Well that was a helpful reply...

[cliffordmontero]

Everyones first time is akward, throw in alcohol and it really is no suprise you didnt get a full erection.

Oral sex is generally considered a safer sex activity, though there is still some risk. A condom is safest, obviously, so good choice. When and if you do decide to wrap you lips around a cock bare here are some things I learned volunteering at a safer sex community center for gay/bi guys.

"Swallow or spit, get rid of that shit!" Your mouth is a mucous membrane. If left in your mouth it will absorb things into the bloodstream. Maybe swish your mouth out with something too. Dont worry if you swallow. Your stomach acid took care of it.

Try not to perform oral right after brushing your teeth. Brushing can cause microtears in the surface of your gums, increasing risk.

Be like a porn star. Take the moneyshot on your face. Just avoid the eyes and nostrils (mucous membranes). Its not a perfect method, but its lower risk than taking it internally.

As far has hurting him, I have noticed in my day a few things that could be the culprit. Teeth, stubble, being too eager with the balls. Teeth and balls come with practice, stubble with planning.

Happy Humping!

[mrplayfuluk]

Why do I even bother to read this crap???

with comments like that no wonder you describe yourself as the unwanted member. Jaded more like....

I suppose when it was your first time you didn't have the internet! :tong:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Adam, go sit in the cornr and have a cookie, you'll feel better...

As a confirmed person who adores giving head, I can tell you that slow and easy is the best way to go when sucking a sweet, hard cock. No scrapings of teeth is a Very important thing. Do get so over eager to have that delightful morsel in your mouth, use alot of tongue up and down that large vein there to get him excited further, (and to get increased blood flow to going on)
Tighten your lips a bit, and mouth stroke gently, moving up and down whilst grasping the shaft nicely. Jack gently as you suckle, causing him intense pleasure but at the same time, dont be in such a hurry. Make it build and grow, let him savor the feel of your hand, and warm moist mouth and tongue on him. Key point: Treat it like You'd want to have Yours done. Dont just mouth fuck him, make love to that cock. You'll be pleased with the results, and he Surely will as well..lol
Cat

[cliffordmontero]

Just for reference, nowhere did I mention HIV, I am refering to all infection prevention in general. There is a long list of STDs outside of HIV to worry about, all of which are unpleasant at best. And I wouldn't be to worried about disrespecting others by chosing sex acts of any kind. If they don't want to engage in the acts you do, find someone who will. There are lots of horny people in the world, you just gotta look in the right place.

[fredtyg]

If you're sucking cock just swallow the cum don't do a facial or let him cum on you as you're wasting the cum.

Lots of guys find it rude and disrespectful if the person sucking them does not swallow and many men who are only into oral sex get offended if the person they are sucking does not allow them to swallow.

Cum in the mouth is almost a moot point with me as the tip of the cock is nearly always at the back of my mouth when the guy cums and it goes right into my throat.

I'll have to admit, in regards to not swallowing, I was bit surprised to say the least, when a full blown homo sucked me off one time. After I came he quickly reached over, grabbed a wash cloth and spit my cum into it.

Not sure I'd call it rude, although it does seem like a bit of a slight when someone doesn't like your cum. He said he always gagged on cum, so I just thought it weird, not really rude.

On the other side of the issue, my ex brother in law seemed rather pleased the first time I sucked him and swallowed. I noticed the content look on his face and remarked it's something special having someone swallow his most intimate fluid.

He replied that it was and related that, while his wife sucked him off now and then, she'd always run to the bathroom after he came and spit his cum out in the toilet. He made it sound like she sounded like she was almost throwing up.

You can imagine that would make a guy feel a bit unhappy. Maybe that's why he let me suck him off more than once?

[letstalkhealth]

ok oooooooook!!! Please don't listen to nonprofessionals about disease and it's passage from human contact. You can most certainly get HIV, herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, and HPV from oral. HIV presence in semen is VERY concentrated. That's why it's an STD. You can still get food poisoning from bacteria infested food-- where was your stomach acid in that moment? You cannot count on your stomach acid to kill the HIV virus, that's just idiotic. I have seen 100s of patients get oral gonorrhea due to oral sex without a condom- which is not fun by the way, worst sore throat of your life. You made the right choice if you didn't know this guy-- You have to look out for yourself first.

Also, to those who ARE HIV positive. Wrap it-- ALWAYS. Even if both partners are positive!!! There are multiple strains of HIV and some kill much faster than others!!!

And yeah, if you find someone to be exclusive with then get tested together and go condom free if your both clean. :)

[citystyleguy]

Adam, go sit in the cornr and have a cookie, you'll feel better...

As a confirmed person who adores giving head, I can tell you that slow and easy is the best way to go when sucking a sweet, hard cock. No scrapings of teeth is a Very important thing. Do get so over eager to have that delightful morsel in your mouth, use alot of tongue up and down that large vein there to get him excited further, (and to get increased blood flow to going on)
Tighten your lips a bit, and mouth stroke gently, moving up and down whilst grasping the shaft nicely. Jack gently as you suckle, causing him intense pleasure but at the same time, dont be in such a hurry. Make it build and grow, let him savor the feel of your hand, and warm moist mouth and tongue on him. Key point: Treat it like You'd want to have Yours done. Dont just mouth fuck him, make love to that cock. You'll be pleased with the results, and he Surely will as well..lol
Cat

O, sweet mother of god, thank you! thank you! thank you! :rolleyes:

...now getting back on track, read the above quote (you can ignore my commentary! ;) and as all the coaches in my life have said, practice, practice, practice!

...as to bottoming and topping roles, to hell with them! sex isnt for role playing, any dude that comes at me with that attitude is kicked out of my bed faster than he can suck in air to ask a question!

refuse to bareback, much too much dangerous, but i dont use a condom when giving head; also, i dont swallow, prefer to pull back and let it fly!

however, with the people i fuck, i know the people they fuck, so it tends to be a closed circle of friends, and i keep it that way.

as for the limp dick issue, keep off the liquid, good for getting over the initial fears, but not good for long lasting foreplay, hot sex, and afterplay;

otherwise, just relax, go with the flow of the moment, and if you feel that you are being forced to go along, back off, take in the consideration of who is asking what, and why, then make an intelligent choice!

welcome to the initiated, you be hitting yourself over the head for having delayed for so long!!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol And thats your opinion. You live with your thoughts, but I havent had any complaints in my Lifestyle. ;)
Have a good day.
Cat

[TempeAZGuy]

My experience sucking and being sucked without a condom is not a placebo controlled double blind study so all I can say is what happend to me.

My "friend" and I had an understanding that we would only play with each other and with our partner or in my case wife. We had a "closed loop". I have sex with my wife and was afraid of passing the "gift that keeps on giving" to her. My friend and I usually used condoms for oral because we had not been tested. He said he was not having sex with his partner. He took a long vacationa dn upon his return we got together and he sucked me after we had kissed and were cuddling and before I could put my condom on. We had fun. Then 10 days later I had a burning one morning when I peed and pus discharge from my penis. Immediately was seen at our county STD clinic and was treated for Chlamydia, an STD. I read a lot about Chlamydia (google it). Learned that 50% of men and 75% of women do not have any symptoms so I am sure my friend did not know he had anything. Fortunately I had not had sex with my wife in the 10 days from contact to symptoms and the antibiotics I got at the clinic cured me in ten more days. I avoided sex with my wife.

If you are single or married and don't have sex with a friend or wife. Your have less to worry about. Having regular sex with my wife and I fully expect she would out me and divorce me if she got some STD or worse I am very careful. This limits my opportunities but I make choices based on my sitution.

Suck his cock with love and do avoid having your teeth contact him.

Have fun and enjoy.

Arizona

[loupstein]

Thank you all very very much for the comments!! You've given me much food for thought. (And, Cherokee_Mountaincat, you blew my mind away!!)

Cheers! :bipride:

[open2both]

Congratulations on getting your CHERRY popped!
Sex is rarely perfect but always enjoyable.
Now get back in there honey and keep practicing!

[dickhand]

Having been blessed with extremely weak teeth and dental problems and pain all during my youthful life , I had the last of them pulled more than 20 years ago . That took care of that problem while giving head . My cousin said that his enjoyment of my cocksucking improved alot (he was the only guy I'd been with back then). I was able to be much more aggressive at it without having to worry about the tooth factor and found that I could take him all the way in and still slip my tongue out and lick his balls too . It was many years before I had the chance to enjoy receiving toothless oral and found it to be most enjoyable .

[void()]

Why do I even bother to read this crap???

Void smirks and raspberries Adam.

"Because you love it and us. C'mon don't deny it, you know you do."

Seriously, what else could you be doing? You're needed here to provide public relations for the midgets. No just anyone can keep me from tossing those buggers, you know?

Void turns up the dial on his trans-dimensional super freaky space monkey radio receiver.

[coyotedude]

As a confirmed person who adores giving head, I can tell you that slow and easy is the best way to go when sucking a sweet, hard cock. No scrapings of teeth is a Very important thing. Do get so over eager to have that delightful morsel in your mouth, use alot of tongue up and down that large vein there to get him excited further, (and to get increased blood flow to going on)
Tighten your lips a bit, and mouth stroke gently, moving up and down whilst grasping the shaft nicely. Jack gently as you suckle, causing him intense pleasure but at the same time, dont be in such a hurry. Make it build and grow, let him savor the feel of your hand, and warm moist mouth and tongue on him. Key point: Treat it like You'd want to have Yours done. Dont just mouth fuck him, make love to that cock. You'll be pleased with the results, and he Surely will as well..lol
Cat

I know there are those who say that women can never give head as well as a man. To which I say: bullshit! A woman with experience pleasing her lover(s) orally has an edge over a guy with little to no experience. And if you are an experienced man, then I propose an experiment: you give me head, and then have the experienced woman give me head. Then repeat. And repeat. And repeat... (Donating myself to science is hard work!)

Have no fear, loupstein! Like anything else, perfect practice makes perfect. Everyone has to have a first time, right? Just glad you got the chance.

Stay safe and have fun!

Peace

[oldcalhippie]

My first time with a guy was 40 years ago and believe me...I didnt even think about safe sex. I couldnt get pregnant and thats all that mattered. I enjoyed the feeling of a guy cumming deep inside of me. Even more each cum. Im married these days,and havent been with a man for many years,but if I was to find myself with a large cock inside of me,Id sure love to feel him cum in me.

[ironresolve]

It sounds like you are trying to hard. A relaxed atmosphere where you can go with the flow makes a big difference.

As far a hurting your partner, this may sound silly, but i had a former g/f who was really good at oral. she said she refined her technique with a bannana practicing to not leave teeth marks; if you try this dont deep throat it i would not want you to get choked, if it breaks.Another pointer is cover your teeth with your lips and cradle the shaft with your toungue. start slow and easy and pick up the pace as your partner wishes