Friends vs. partners

[smokey]

I have found as a bisexual over the years that it is often easier to get laid than it is to make friends, that it is easier to open legs than it is to open hearts. What are everybody elses experinces and opinions on this? I have had at my best estimate in 30+ years of sexuality several hundred sexual partners both male and female yet I can count my friends, my true friends on one hand. They are few but they are dear.

[FatGirl]

yes I do believe that it is easier to open legs then make friends, but the opening of a couple legs sometimes is the gate way to friendship! :bounce: FG

[rumple4skin]

Smokey,
I do not have the background of lovers that you have had (but I am working on it :tongue: ). I find it easier to get laid then make a “true” friend. Some friendships last a long time and some are short-lived just like playmates. I find that there is more "vulnerability" in opening my heart then opening my pants but I tend to do both on a selective basis. Sometimes we can find someone who can be a friend and a lover. That is great no matter how long it lasts in my opinion. I think that any lasting relationship takes work weather it is a friendship or something deeper. It does not take much work to just play with someone. I have had more true friends over the years than I have had lovers. I think that has a lot to do with the “risk” I am willing to take in regards to both and the amount of effort I am willing to put into it. That is just how I see it. Thank you for posting the thread and giving me a chance to reflect on this.

Rumple

[innaminka]

I think what you're saying is true of any person - not just a bi.

Most people, who have social skills, are ok looking and have a real determintaion to "get laid," find it reasonably easy, as there are a lot of people out there who enjoy the excitement of casual or buddy-sex.

Finding a real friend is far more difficult. A true friendship is something that is quite rare and should be treasured.
I think most people could count really "true" friends on their fingers. Good, friendly acquaintences are far more numerous.

Generally i find you don't shag your real friends. Acquaintences will do nicely, however! :bigrin:

[smokey]

At one point in the 70's i tried to go a whole month with a different partner each night and exceeded my goal :bigrin: but then that was the 70's when sex was easy and drugs were cheap...or was it the other way around? I can't remember, either way if you couldn't ge laid in the 70's something was seriously wrong. At one point I thought of removing my legs and putting in a revolving door :eek: :bigrin:

[onewhocares]

Smokey,

How right you are. It certainly appears to be much easier to attract a lover than it is to develop and nurture a true friendship. But it is without question that there must be a level of attractiveness to both, whether it be intellectual, physical, spiritual or yes have the sexual component. I can honestly say that this site is the perfect venue to attract both which we have had the pleasure of doing. As much as there is a wonderful sexual advantage, the building of a friendship is to be treasured. I am so grateful and appreciative of the many friends whom I have had the pleasure of meeting. Some people come into your lives for "A Reason, A Season or if you are lucky A Lifetime" and to me, you should cherish each and every relationship, be it sexual or not.

Belle

[smokey]

Oh I most certianly do cherish my friends deeply as I do my partners and lovers both current and ex...they are all the crown jewels of my life.

[ambi53mm]

Hi Smokey,

I lived through the 70's as well and survived it with great memories(when my memory works LOL) of both the sex, drugs, and the parties we'd have Both were plentiful. Different times, different attitudes towards both then and now. I still have a friend or two that survived those times and old friends where time and memories are involved seem to make the best friends.
Only one was ever bi and we wound up hooking up together after not seeing one another for almost 28 years a couple of years back. Twenty-eight years of not communicating with one another and it was like nothing had ever changed.
Friendships take time and effort...Partners on the other hand take a willing desire. My wife is both my friend and partner..nothing wrong with having your cake and eating it too :bigrin: but I could could always use another friendly partner So..........Howdy Partner :cowboy:

Ambi :)