Well, I'm officially a loser!

[rissababynta]

I began taking steps to withdraw from school today. My husband is disapointed in me. I'm disapointed in myself. But I just can't do it right now.

The military is REALLY pulling a mind screw for his unit right now with this whole Haiti thing. His order dates keep changing. I've already dropped him off by the airstrip twice, cried, explained what was happening to the kids, and said our goodbyes just to get a phone call later in the day saying that things aren't quite ready to leave yet and he needs to get picked up and brought back home. Now, it's gotten to the point where everyone involved isn't even allowed to talk openly about some of the things happening, so I'm restricted with what I say here and to my family. That is how crazy things have gotten. His orders are also going haywire with his expected time gone. Originally, he was to be away for a couple of months. Then it was undetermeined. Now it's 6 months to a year. Who knows what it will be the next time I talk to him. I don't even know how long my husband is even going to be away from us, and I probably won't know for a while yet...ugh. My life has been turned upside down by this and every minute after I have no idea what is happening and I'm starting to have panic attacks again. I haven't had those regularly in about a year.

Now, having a 4 year old, a 3 year old, and a 1 year old, my life was already pretty hectic, whether I was alone or not. In the next few months, between myself and all of my kids, we have quite a few different doctors appointments (all of them long for the types of appointments), registration for schools, and traveling for various reasons. We even just recently had a death on my husbands side of the family, and now I have to figure out how to get myself and the kids down to TX for that.

I have been an active student in school since Tuesday. Yes...that's FOUR DAYS...pathetic I know. But in those four days, I have missed two classes and haven't even begun to do schoolwork that is do on tuesday. I haven't had the time and frankly, I am SO not in the mindset right now to even focus on it. Believe me, I tried yesterday, and after a few minutes I had to give up because I just couldn't do it. I have so many things and emotions going on right now and I just feel that school right now is something that I can't handle. I would much rather prefer to drop out now before I get too involved into it and just try to enroll again later on in the year when things calm down a bit or next year when all of this is over.

A very good friend of mine told me that I shouldn't feel ashamed about dropping out because I am doing it in order to better take care of my family and scrape a bit of the stuff off of my plate, not because I am being lazy and just don't feel like doing the work. And as much as I can see her point, I still can't help but feeling like such a loser right now.

But oh well, if I'm gonna be a loser, at least I'll be a loser with a lot less stress :rolleyes:

[fredtyg]

Maybe you could work in some online classes. More and more colleges and universities are offering them. I believe you can even enroll for those in other states.

[rissababynta]

Maybe you could work in some online classes. More and more colleges and universities are offering them. I believe you can even enroll for those in other states.

That's what I was doing. I knew that with my current lifestyle, there was no way I'd be able to go to a traditional school. But sometimes online is harder than traditional because the majority of the learning process is all on you. And if your mind is not in the right place, that puts a gigantic damper on how well you'll do.

[still_shy]

Oh hun, you have to do what you have to do to take care of your family. If you're completely stressed out about life in general, then try to go to school on top of that and take care of three small kids......whew I'm stressed out just thinking about all of it! My life is relatively easy compared to yours and school totally stresses me out! I can't imagine what it would be like with all you have on your plate!

If you need to talk, let me know!

[fredtyg]

Well, remember, there's always next year, or the year after that.

[tenni]

Rissa
Sorry to read that you need to drop out. On the other hand, it may be better to drop out than stay only to fail because of other things going on in your life. Withdraw is better than "Fail" on your transcript. Plus, you will probably get most of your money back due to early withdrawal?

It is really a matter of priorities. As you report what is going on, I think that you are making a good decision for yourself. With three young kids under five, they demand a great deal of your time. In a few years when the youngest one gets into school may be a better time to resume your education.

[mikey3000]

There's nothing wrong with admitting that you can't do it all, especially all at the same time. Prioritize.

[darkeyes]

Ris.. Ris me luffly.. yas nev a loser me my book.. sumtims we jus pik the rong time 2 start summat.. the rite time will cum 'long forya...:)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Good grief Girlfriend. Dont feel bad about that. School will always be there, your children wont. They are in their formitive years and need their Mother at their side to teach and guide, so dont feel bad about it. Keep your books and read when you can, learn on your own, that way when the time comes you'll be that much more familiar with the subjects. Thats what I did.

You've got too much going on right now Sweetie to be able to concentrate on Anything but your home life. Go in and talk to your counsilor and explain what's happening, he/she will definately understand.. :}

Hang in there, it'll happen, just take care of those kidlettes And you!
Hugs from someone who's been there, done that.
Cat

[cannibal4]

Rissa;
take a deep breath and relax. Things will work out, you have to do what is necessary for you and your family. If your like my wife, you'll do just fine and get back in to the swing of things and I know you'll get back to school. For 11 years I was in the service, a special unit, we would get deployed on a moments notice, not even knowing where we were going until it was time to land or jump out of a plane. My wife was always on pins and neddles and upset, not knowing where I was, what we were doing, how long I'd be gone or when she would hear from me. But she knew that was the carreer I chose until I got hurt in Grenada. But, she always kept things together, took good care of the kids, put her plans on hold till I got back. You seem like a strong person and you'll do fine and you'll get back on track with your schooling.

Cannibal4

[elian]

It sounds like you are going through an awful lot right now - Just because circumstances aren't right doesn't make you a loser, you are being responsible by taking care of your family and other obligations. The good news is if you only attended 4 days of classes hopefully the folks at school will understand that and they will refund your tuition.

You can always go back when the timing is better.

[TwylaTwobits]

Rissa, honey you are not a loser. You have to do what you have to do for yourself at this moment. You have missed classes and that's understandable you are dealing with a lot of things in your life that most people don't even have to dream about interfering with school. Just ask yourself, would you get the most out of school right now if you didn't have the mindset for it? No. So withdrawing now is a strategic retreat not a giving in. Someday you'll be able to go back to finish your school, but for now you have a future to worry about with not knowing when and how long your husband will be gone. You have kids that need you to be able to be rock steady for them and you have every right to just sit down and fucking cry if you want to. It's a release you badly need right now, girlfriend.

So you take care of you and your family and everything will work out as it is meant to do so.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Is this the failure/excuse example you want your children to follow?
C'mon bitch. I've got huge balls but I know people enough to know you've got bigger than me. Use them.
Ciao.[/QUOTE]

Its a good thing you Did call my Rissa a bitch with tongue in cheek. Rissa is a very smart, capable, and hectic young lady right now, and has more than a heap on her platter. Unless you've been a young wife with a husband going off to war, or being deployed to another land, then you wouldnt understand what is going on with her at the moment. Raising kids alone isnt easy for Anybody, let alone a military wife. I know, becaue "I" did it too.
I do, however, kinda/sorta/maybe/ perhaps applaude your left-handed praise and attempts at encouragement to her. See? That didnt hurt your brain all that bad, now did it! Keep up the good effort. Just be careful in calling my girls bitches, alright?

Rissa, you GO girl!
Cat.

[rissababynta]

Well, you're officially a loser.
Interesting.
In order to be a winner in what is truly important, you voluntarily lose in another (important, but less important) because you come face to face with your human limitations.
Yet, you present the equation (here on this site) in a format that you know will be agreed with by most/all.
Sincerely not meaning to harm, but challenge; is this so different from other issues in your life?
I'm going to go out on a limb and be an absolute asshole to state a nearly absolute truth.
Rissa, decide then do.
All other fanfare/attempts is just mental masturbation, and setting yourself with a nice pattern/parachute to escape from your next problem.
Is this the failure/excuse example you want your children to follow?
C'mon bitch. I've got huge balls but I know people enough to know you've got bigger than me. Use them.
You can read textbooks while taking care of family. There are more than sufficient textbooks available for free at the public library. In two years you can read all the books necessary for your degree. And when you finally take the classes for official certification/degree, you'll ace or nearly ace every test up to your final year or two (depending if you go for your Masters or Doctorate).
I'm off to the bathroom to go masturbate, and feel good for 7 seconds.
Ciao.

Congratulations, you look like a bigger loser than me now;)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

LOl High Paw, Rissa. Want I should have Eegie go bite his ankles? LMAO:bigrin::eek::cool::tongue:
Cat

[rissababynta]

LOl High Paw, Rissa. Want I should have Eegie go bite his ankles? LMAO:bigrin::eek::cool::tongue:
Cat

Sure thing Cat. Might as well get some use out of that little snapper haha.

[darkeyes]

I'm off to the bathroom to go masturbate, and feel good for 7 seconds.
Ciao.

Me thinks ya post is o so luffly.. yas reely quite a nice guy aintcha?? But think feelin gud for 7 secs wile ya hav a lil tweak mus b bout as bad as it gets.. reminds me a the guy who ('ventually) took 'way me virginity... stikky legs an knickers an an intact hymen wer no fun...:(

.. mind u...wen 'e finally did manage that wos no fun eitha...:(

[MarieDelta]

You arent a loser at all.

Dealing with the military and trying to study can push all those buttons and make you feel like it though.

In the meantime, do what reading you can on the subjects that you are majoring in and just relax.

*hugs*

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Riss, empty your email box, Girlfriend! I cant send you emails because it says your box is full. (And not in a fun way) lol
Bad Cat

[rissababynta]

Riss, empty your email box, Girlfriend! I cant send you emails because it says your box is full. (And not in a fun way) lol
Bad Cat

Damn it, way too many people send me emails lmfao.

[void()]

Void books a ticket to ride. He arrives ready to kick ass.

"Somebody say Ris is a loser?"

D'oh. Nah you aren't a loser hon. A loser is someone like me who is relying on others who said they would help. In the process of my waiting I hear all sorts of nasty voices inside, get really sad, then pissed. I don't like doubting myself. It ends up causing a person to not dream. You need to dream.

You've done far more than me with a goal. You actually started school again. I've not even gotten that far. People need to get back in touch with me, before I make a more informed call on how to proceed.

Do what you need for family babe. Without that you got nothing. And in my case it seems even with it I got nothing but that's another horse. Be safe.

[PolyLoveTriad]

Hi Rissa! I know, long time no see eh? I thought I would just remind you, that Americans are allowed to go to Haiti on their own so if you know where your hubby is after he gets there if it got to be too much you could always go there. I know, not the best of circumstances but sometimes when you have the knowledge that you can do something, it makes you feel better even if you dont plan on actually doing it. Anyhoot, hang in there, its rough all around for all of us *hug*

[Hephaestion]

Have I got it right that your are mother to 3 children (1,3,4 yrs old) and your fella's an active service man?

What the dickens convinces you that you are a loser / failure, don't you realise that you are the hub of 4 people's lives (any pets, then add them also).

You should seriously consider embroiding an 'S' insingia on some clothing.

[crazy_cat_lady]

Dont worry about it sweet heart. I could only manage 3 classes a semester and I wasn't even working or had kids! So please compared to me you have all the reason in the world to quite now and start at a much better time.

[pelokwin]

Well, I'm officially a loser!
:banghead:
Wait, let me see if I got this. You feel like a loser cause you made a choice to put school on the back burner until you family life is more stable? Ok look you don't know me from Adam but I got some points ya might want to think about.

1) You are an ARMY WIFE! ANY, and I mean ANY spouse of someone in our MILITARY is a big time 100% winner in my book. I can't even muster the words to explain how I feel about what you, your kids, and your hubby sacrifice for all of us in the USA.:bowdown:

2) THREE SMALL KIDS!! I know folks that can't handle ONE.

3)"LOSERS" are folks that "GIVE UP COMPLETELY" and in your own words;

I would much rather prefer to drop out now before I get too involved into it and just try to enroll again later on in the year when things calm down a bit or next year when all of this is over
My point is you are already thinking ahead. With all that is going on YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT GOING BACK.

4)A "loser" would not have tried at all.

:soapbox:So, with all that, you are not a loser!!
PELOKWIN HAS SPOKEN!!!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Stands up and gives Pell a standing ovation. Well said Darlin.;)
Cat

[rissababynta]

:banghead:
Wait, let me see if I got this. You feel like a loser cause you made a choice to put school on the back burner until you family life is more stable? Ok look you don't know me from Adam but I got some points ya might want to think about.

1) You are an ARMY WIFE! ANY, and I mean ANY spouse of someone in our MILITARY is a big time 100% winner in my book. I can't even muster the words to explain how I feel about what you, your kids, and your hubby sacrifice for all of us in the USA.:bowdown:

2) THREE SMALL KIDS!! I know folks that can't handle ONE.

3)"LOSERS" are folks that "GIVE UP COMPLETELY" and in your own words;

My point is you are already thinking ahead. With all that is going on YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT GOING BACK.

4)A "loser" would not have tried at all.

:soapbox:So, with all that, you are not a loser!!
PELOKWIN HAS SPOKEN!!!

Yes, you and others truly have made some good points and have made me feel much better. Thanks. By the way, the whole "pelokwin has spoken" had me dying lol.

[citystyleguy]

whoa!, girl, dont come down on yourself so damn hard! when the demands of life rear there needful heads, back off, take a breather, but dont self condemn! as said some where up this chain, prioritize!

when my beautiful wife got sick, our life dropped out from underneath us, and when i took on the chief caregiver role, as well as all the other things i needed to be for her, life didnt come to a screaming halt; people at work depended on me to keep my head on straight, clients still needed their projects completed, the mortgage needed to be kept current, the family finances didnt take a recess, blah, blah blah, so i sat down and prioritized! there were plenty of obvious things that got ditched, and one was school. my business needs me to keep current on the industry, so i'm always in the "...school room..."; it cost me a small fortune to drop out at the time, but i paid it and moved on with what needed to be done!

you'll know when the time is right, you now need to fix on your life with the family, there seems to be enough people here to hang your head on a soft shoulder, and talk things out!

wishing you a better future ahead!

[pelokwin]

Cherokee_Mountaincat; THANK YOU
rissababynta; glad I could bring on a smile:)

[onewhocares]

Rissa,

You are so NOT a loser. I have watched a fine young woman grow and care for her young family and more often than not be alone in doing so. The family army life is not easy to say the least and having a loving and supportive wife is amazing to be sure.

A loser who not have attempted to add something else to her plate. The is just not right at the moment, but will come soon and then you can go forward.

...and to the seven second man...to bad the length of your orgasm is reflective of the size of your brain...pea brain.

Belle

[rissababynta]

...and to the seven second man...to bad the length of your orgasm is reflective of the size of your brain...pea brain.

Belle

Oh snap lmfao. Luff you Belle. You always make me feel warm and fuzzy inside haha.