Flakes and Liars

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Why is it that people cannot be themselves? Is it for vicarious thrills, or are they just looking to get off pretending to be something/someone that they arent? Some dork recently contacted one of our new members and engaged in some conversation. This person (and I use this term rather loosely) pretended to be female when they are actually a male. During the course of this convo, the person slipped and said something about "my cock," thus blowing his cover of pretending to be a woman. I checked out his profile and it said female, and that he is fairly new to the site. When confronted he stated "Well, I just like hearing about 2 women being together and what they do to each other"

Thats all fine and dandy, but did he have to lie about it? If someone asks openly and honestly, a lady (if she feels so inclined to sit there and talk about what she likes while some yahoo beats his meat) might actually talk to and let you know, but if you lie and pretend to be something that what you arent, that makes you no better than the Trolls that we have in here. It makes you a liar, and liars arent to be trusted or counted as friends. And that's too bad for you, for if you befriended a Bi or Lesbain lady, they may talk to you openly and frankly. But if you lie, you dont even deserve to talk to my girls, or to the men who participate here either.

He made this lady feel degraded and insecure, and that's a horrible way for a new member to have to feel. I recommended that she send a letter to Drew and let him know the persons name. I hope she does. :} He doesnt deserve to be here if he cant be open, and honest. I'm honestly hoping I see this person in chat and that he hits on Me. *Evil Cat grin*
Cat

[BLCHGK777]

Very understandable Cat but sadly they will probably still have a profile because losers are everywhere and they will always pop up to mess with stuff because bottom line is they are trolls but just a different breed(?) then the obvious rude and obnoxious trollers. Luckily there is the iggy list :bigrin:

[Realist]

Cat,

I envision those people with sad lives, little initiative, poor self esteem. Maybe they've been beat down, or are dullards, who are wallowing in a situation that they may not have made for themselves, but are too listless to drag themselves out of. They make up in fantasies the things they can never attain in reality. I think they may even, sometimes, come to believe the things they lie about.

[graytwo]

Why is it that people cannot be themselves? Is it for vicarious thrills, or are they just looking to get off pretending to be something/someone that they arent?.... ...If someone asks openly and honestly, a lady (if she feels so inclined to sit there and talk about what she likes while some yahoo beats his meat) might actually talk to and let you know, but if you lie and pretend to be something that what you arent, that makes you no better than the Trolls that we have in here. .... I'm honestly hoping I see this person in chat and that he hits on Me. *Evil Cat grin*
Cat

Cat, take a big yawn, pull in the claws, for AT LEAST NOW, and understand there are trolls everywhere - not that you didn't know that already. I'd hate to be that person, newbie or not, with your signoff of *Evil Cat Grin*. [not sure if there's any Smilies that comes close to that on this site to reflect.]

Chill and wait. Patience is a virtue that cats know well.

-gray

[TwylaTwobits]

Cat, honey, there are simply idiots everywhere. No matter what site you are on if there is a way for two people to interact in real time you will have liars and fakes and people who want to pass themselves off as something they aren't. It's the only way some people can survive a lonely life they have set up for themselves.

[roy m cox]

id get then on SKYPE they say there a girl and they want to talk on the web cam and when you accept it bada bing its a guy playing with his goody's . so yeah cat they are every wear :/ sucks some times

[transcendMental]

Why is it that people cannot be themselves?

To give another perspective here, I present as a woman every day, and I have also done it in internet chat rooms. I don't do it for sexual kicks, I do it because I consider myself a woman, and because presenting as a man feels to me like pretending, feels like I'm not being myself, feels like I'm letting myself be trapped depressingly and invisibly in a body that doesn't really belong to me, makes my skin crawl. I present here as TG, and that makes me sad, because I feel like people don't really get to know me - they see me as TG, whereas I see myself as a woman.

But some people, including many on this site, don't accept that I am a woman. They feel that I am just pretending. They feel that I am fooling myself and or others. But I know what it feels like to be me and they don't.

I don't know why this person you're all berating was pretending to be a woman. Maybe he really did just want sexual kicks. If that's the case, then I agree he was wrong to do it. But some transsexuals also "pretend" to be the opposite sex, and for them it's therapeutic, it doesn't feel like pretending, it's a way of exploring who they really are. Most of them don't consider themselves liars or flakes or idiots.

The guy under question here may not know himself why he was doing this. It is possible he is trans, and was experimenting for reasons he didn't completely understand, and he happened to get caught, and it was easier to say he was looking for thrills than to admit he feels like woman. It's hard to unravel the fact that you're transsexual, hard to accept about yourself, it's something we cover over and deny for years and years until it forces itself out. This guy might have been a creep, or he might need our support and understanding.

Cherokee Mountaincat, for some "men", presenting as a woman is being ourselves. You don't have to buy that. But since you ask why people do it, I thought I'd give you one reason.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

NoNo Baby, thats not what I meant. I Meant is that this idjet that is doing this is Lying to women for the sole purpose of getting his kicks by listening to women talk about themsellves being with other women. He does by Pretending to be a woman. I have no prob with Trans-folk, and they arent the focus of my rant. My rant was about liars, and people who feel they Have to lie just to get their rocks off. That to me is stupid and childish. You dont play with the feelings and emotions of people just to get your rocks off. Its thoughtless, and cruel.
Just my humble:2cents:
Cat

[graytwo]

Troll.
A troll pretends to be normal, female, male, both, neither.... lies and truth, whatever is needed to get the troll's objective... often to jealously harm those who have feelings/depth/life that the troll is incapable of reaching.
A plague since the beginning and until the end of mankind; a diseased percentage of the population.
If only there were a sociopath chromosone... we could engineer a virus to continuously wipe out that diseased part of the human existence.

Time out! Don't confuse troll with a lurker. Nothing bad about trolling. Toss out a hook and see who bites, same as in fishing. Problem occurs when the bait is not real, nor the fisher person and the game has feelings. Same as connect and let go to the happy rejoice of the game and fisher person.

The lurker is 90%+ major problem. Those types spend most of their time flaming everyone and nit pick everything in hopes that they can get a response. Why? So they can flame again, change their log names and keep their 15 global minutes running every day. Then watch everyone else respond so they can do it again.

I'd drather be called a troll, [Yooper's in Michigan call everyone that lives under the Bridge trolls :-) ], it is much better than being a lurker.

Look up the def of troll vs lurker. Lurkers provide most of the flames to most boards. Guess that's why most boards have 10k+ users but only 200 or so active past 15 posts over 6 months. Makes you wonder, don't it?

"Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level, then try to beat you with pseudo-experience." - anon

[Canticle]

''Cat, honey, there are simply idiots everywhere. No matter what site you are on if there is a way for two people to interact in real time you will have liars and fakes and people who want to pass themselves off as something they aren't. It's the only way some people can survive a lonely life they have set up for themselves.''
Twyla

''My rant was about liars, and people who feel they Have to lie just to get their rocks off. That to me is stupid and childish. You dont play with the feelings and emotions of people just to get your rocks off. Its thoughtless, and cruel. Just my humble''
Cat

''Troll.
A troll pretends to be normal, female, male, both, neither.... lies and truth, whatever is needed to get the troll's objective... often to jealously harm those who have feelings/depth/life that the troll is incapable of reaching.
A plague since the beginning and until the end of mankind; a diseased percentage of the population.
If only there were a sociopath chromosone... we could engineer a virus to continuously wipe out that diseased part of the human existence.''
Ontheside

''Time out! Don't confuse troll with a lurker. Nothing bad about trolling. Toss out a hook and see who bites, same as in fishing. Problem occurs when the bait is not real, nor the fisher person and the game has feelings. Same as connect and let go to the happy rejoice of the game and fisher person.

The lurker is 90%+ major problem. Those types spend most of their time flaming everyone and nit pick everything in hopes that they can get a response. Why? So they can flame again, change their log names and keep their 15 global minutes running every day. Then watch everyone else respond so they can do it again.

I'd drather be called a troll, [Yooper's in Michigan call everyone that lives under the Bridge trolls :-) ], it is much better than being a lurker.

Look up the def of troll vs lurker. Lurkers provide most of the flames to most boards. Guess that's why most boards have 10k+ users but only 200 or so active past 15 posts over 6 months. Makes you wonder, don't it?''
graytwo


I drafted a post last night, which was actually a reply to most of the other replies and particularly to Twyla's. I hit submit and lost my connection. So much for being in a part of the house (on my sick bed..lol), where the signal is bad. I'll try again and things having moved on, by a few posts, I may want to say more this time. hence the copied and pasted posts.

As I have said, my lost post was addressed to Twyla, whilst including agreement with most, of what others had said. Twyla, you are so right. Whatever the site, whichever area of life and the ''real'' world, one visits, one will always find those who will be fakes, pass themselves off. for what they are not and who will lie through their teeth. It's not funny. It's not clever. It certainly is downright cruel and yet these people are the first ones to turn themselves into the victim. Indeed, these very people, will twist the words and actions, of others around and they will use these for their own benefit.

Such characters will most definitely pretend to be, who or what they are not and because they do not have a consience, they will feel no guilt, no shame, for what is done by them. Sometimes, to curry favour, these types will express caring words, which they do not actually mean. It just makes them feel good about themselves. It fills an emptiness within their heart and life, thinking that they have done a good deed. or said the right thing. What they know people want to hear.

It's a game to them. The touble is, these games usually backfire and the liar, user, abuser of people, does get found out in the end. Not having a leg to stand upon, these people usually turn tail and run, proving what cowards they really are. And...because they live this half life....nothing...no chastisement...no showing them the error of their ways....makes any difference to them. They do not see the world through spectacles of reality and so they continue to convince themselves, that the world is against them and everyone on that globe, hates them.

I think that what you quote, Ontheside, probably describes the kind of people I write of, but I would not call such people, ''Trolls.'' Just those lacking any capability of feeling true compassion or guilt, unable to see what pain and hurt they cause. People with an inability to break free from the dungeon, which probably imprisons a reasonably decent person, within it's walls. Some of them will never, ever have any hope of redemption and perhaps these are the sociopaths.....but ''Trolls''.......No.

Too many people are called ''Trolls,'' merely because they do not agree with others, or because some may think, that they do not fit in. It is said that one man's terrorist, is another man's freedom fighter. Perhaps the same can be said of those, who many will call ''Trolls''....the person who may annoy and sem disagreeable to one, may speak sense and truth to another.

Insteading of calling ''Troll,'' every time something is said, that is not agreed with.....people should be dealt with on an individual basis.

I think graytwo speaks excellent words of wisdom. I don't think that there is anything to add......10/10 for insight there.

Coming back to the kind of people Cat and Twyla were referring to. To sum them up. They are jerks and losers......and by their actions, THEY become, very much THE loser, in most situations.

[tenni]

graytwo
You were confusing me with your definitions of troll and lurker. You state that it is the lurker who is the danger. Below are wiki definitions and they seem to disagree with your thought?

A troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.

A lurker is a person who reads discussions on a message board, newsgroup, chatroom, file sharing or other interactive system, but rarely or never participates actively.

It seems to me that people who present themselves as someone that they are not are closer to being a troll because they may be provoking an emotional response. Maybe, they are neither troll nor lurker....but just as the thread states...liars?

[transcendMental]

NoNo Baby, thats not what I meant. I Meant is that this idjet that is doing this is Lying to women for the sole purpose of getting his kicks by listening to women talk about themsellves being with other women. He does by Pretending to be a woman. I have no prob with Trans-folk, and they arent the focus of my rant. My rant was about liars, and people who feel they Have to lie just to get their rocks off. That to me is stupid and childish. You dont play with the feelings and emotions of people just to get your rocks off. Its thoughtless, and cruel.
Just my humble:2cents:
Cat

I'm glad to hear you weren't talking about transpeople.

And I agree with you 100% that IF a person is lying just for kicks or for power or for manipulation, that is terrible, thoughtless, and cruel.

But what I was trying to say in my post is that you can't know whether this or any person is really just lying for kicks or whether there is a gender issue going on. Even they may not know it. And even if they do know they are dealing with a gender issue, they may still SAY they are doing it for kicks, because that statement is easier for them than admitting that they are transsexual.

I understand everyone's anger when these things happen, but it's just more complicated than saying that everyone who does this is a troll, liar, or flake.