fredtyg
Feb 2, 2010, 4:52 PM
I recently posted a Craigslist ad looking for bi folks who might want to chat. One fellow responded and we've exchanged a few e-mails. This is actually the one I just sent him and then realized it might make a decent post here. I pasted it below and made a few changes.
As an aside, they pulled my Craigslist ad, despite it being in the MfM category where people go for hook ups and I just wanted chat:
*******
I'll have to say, when I get to talking or writing about bi or homosexuality, I find it exciting. So, on days like today when there's nothing going on and I'm focused on it, I'm always trying to find somewhere else to out myself, at least in subtle ways.
One thing I'd really like to do is add a link for bisexual.com to my Facebook page. Maybe join a Bisexual Facebook group, too, which I believe would also show up on my page. Problem is, the vast majority of Facebook friends I have are straight and most are the wife's family which is pretty anti- homo for the most part.
Not sure what I'll do with that. Need more courage but it's really not just about me. It might be embarrassing for the wife if all her family knows I'm homo. At least two of her family know for sure, maybe a few others.
Not sure if I've mentioned here some of the other things I've done toward outing myself:
I have an account at Gay.com. I used to use a different username for that account. Finally, a few years ago I opened one under my regular, public Yahoo ID. If someone went to Gay.com and saw my profile they might be able to figure out it's me. That's kind of what I want.
Did the same with an old homo web site, guys4men.com, I frequented off and on years ago. Even added a picture to myself on that one. Ended up leaving that site for good after some of the homos in the forums accused me of child molest and attempted incest when I mentioned I was trying to seduce my nephew who's in his mid 30s.
I'm in silverdaddies.com, too, but still use a phony. Forget why. I just started on that site again after a long absence and managed to log in on my old account. Maybe I'll change that to my Yahoo ID now, too.
Found a MySpace page for NorCalQueers yesterday. Joined that with my photo and real personal info included. Then I got nervous about that and decided to quit the group, especially since it didn't seem very active.
I've been with the Humboldt Pride Yahoo Group for years now under my regular Yahoo ID. Pretty proud of that but I also have an easy out if someone I didn't want to know confronted me with being in a queer Yahoo Group. I'm known locally as a Libertarian Party activist, so, I just tell them I'm on all kinds of mail lists and groups where we might share common political interests.
Other than that, I've added myself to just about every gay and bi mailing list I can find, although I'll admit to dropping most of the e- mail lists for lack of interest.
So now, I'm sitting here trying to find more homo outlets for me to add my name to. Maybe I'll go change my silverdaddies account name, if they'll let me do it. I think I'll definitely add a picture of myself to my bisexual.com account, too, as soon as I can find a good one so stay tuned.
~~~~~~~~~~
As an aside, I outed myself to a whole bunch of people partly by accident some years ago. I might of mentioned it here before:
I used to work at the local Power Plant as a security guard. One of my fellow workers was a guy my age, Gary. I had a suppressed crush on him when we were working together. Back then I was suppressing my homosexuality, although it came out often enough, especially when I was drinking.
Years later, after I left the power plant, I was becoming more and more overtly homo. One night I'd had a few beers and was lamenting the fact I hadn't made a move on Gary when we worked together. I ended up calling the power plant- he still worked there- and flat out told him I was homo and was attracted to him. I tried to convince him to we should get together, so to speak.
Well, I did two stupid things: First, calling him at work about something like that was major stupid. Second, talking to him on the phone about it, rather than in person was dumb because I knew Gary had a big mouth. I should of seen him in person so I could be smoother in my approach and also to try and convince him not to say anything to anyone about me being queer. I'm sure if I would approached him properly we might of been able to start a little bit of a relationship although I can't say how long it might have lasted.
(There's actually little doubt in my mind if I'd of tried to seduce him under the right conditions back when we still worked together, I would of succeeded)
As it was, I scared him off and he ended up telling everyone about me, at least the fellow guards I used to work with. I'm sure other plant workers heard about it, too.
But, I'll have to say, truth be told, there really wasn't anything bad that came out of it. Gary and I are still friends. A couple of the guards he told (that I was still friends with) made some references to it, but that's as far as it went. I wish I would of handled it better and succeeded with Gary, but I'm actually glad that those people found out I'm homo. No harm done.
As an aside, they pulled my Craigslist ad, despite it being in the MfM category where people go for hook ups and I just wanted chat:
*******
I'll have to say, when I get to talking or writing about bi or homosexuality, I find it exciting. So, on days like today when there's nothing going on and I'm focused on it, I'm always trying to find somewhere else to out myself, at least in subtle ways.
One thing I'd really like to do is add a link for bisexual.com to my Facebook page. Maybe join a Bisexual Facebook group, too, which I believe would also show up on my page. Problem is, the vast majority of Facebook friends I have are straight and most are the wife's family which is pretty anti- homo for the most part.
Not sure what I'll do with that. Need more courage but it's really not just about me. It might be embarrassing for the wife if all her family knows I'm homo. At least two of her family know for sure, maybe a few others.
Not sure if I've mentioned here some of the other things I've done toward outing myself:
I have an account at Gay.com. I used to use a different username for that account. Finally, a few years ago I opened one under my regular, public Yahoo ID. If someone went to Gay.com and saw my profile they might be able to figure out it's me. That's kind of what I want.
Did the same with an old homo web site, guys4men.com, I frequented off and on years ago. Even added a picture to myself on that one. Ended up leaving that site for good after some of the homos in the forums accused me of child molest and attempted incest when I mentioned I was trying to seduce my nephew who's in his mid 30s.
I'm in silverdaddies.com, too, but still use a phony. Forget why. I just started on that site again after a long absence and managed to log in on my old account. Maybe I'll change that to my Yahoo ID now, too.
Found a MySpace page for NorCalQueers yesterday. Joined that with my photo and real personal info included. Then I got nervous about that and decided to quit the group, especially since it didn't seem very active.
I've been with the Humboldt Pride Yahoo Group for years now under my regular Yahoo ID. Pretty proud of that but I also have an easy out if someone I didn't want to know confronted me with being in a queer Yahoo Group. I'm known locally as a Libertarian Party activist, so, I just tell them I'm on all kinds of mail lists and groups where we might share common political interests.
Other than that, I've added myself to just about every gay and bi mailing list I can find, although I'll admit to dropping most of the e- mail lists for lack of interest.
So now, I'm sitting here trying to find more homo outlets for me to add my name to. Maybe I'll go change my silverdaddies account name, if they'll let me do it. I think I'll definitely add a picture of myself to my bisexual.com account, too, as soon as I can find a good one so stay tuned.
~~~~~~~~~~
As an aside, I outed myself to a whole bunch of people partly by accident some years ago. I might of mentioned it here before:
I used to work at the local Power Plant as a security guard. One of my fellow workers was a guy my age, Gary. I had a suppressed crush on him when we were working together. Back then I was suppressing my homosexuality, although it came out often enough, especially when I was drinking.
Years later, after I left the power plant, I was becoming more and more overtly homo. One night I'd had a few beers and was lamenting the fact I hadn't made a move on Gary when we worked together. I ended up calling the power plant- he still worked there- and flat out told him I was homo and was attracted to him. I tried to convince him to we should get together, so to speak.
Well, I did two stupid things: First, calling him at work about something like that was major stupid. Second, talking to him on the phone about it, rather than in person was dumb because I knew Gary had a big mouth. I should of seen him in person so I could be smoother in my approach and also to try and convince him not to say anything to anyone about me being queer. I'm sure if I would approached him properly we might of been able to start a little bit of a relationship although I can't say how long it might have lasted.
(There's actually little doubt in my mind if I'd of tried to seduce him under the right conditions back when we still worked together, I would of succeeded)
As it was, I scared him off and he ended up telling everyone about me, at least the fellow guards I used to work with. I'm sure other plant workers heard about it, too.
But, I'll have to say, truth be told, there really wasn't anything bad that came out of it. Gary and I are still friends. A couple of the guards he told (that I was still friends with) made some references to it, but that's as far as it went. I wish I would of handled it better and succeeded with Gary, but I'm actually glad that those people found out I'm homo. No harm done.