Unsure what to do

[serenstar]

Hey everyone,
Just needed to open up as I can't talk to anyone about how I'm feeling at the moment.
I'm seeing the most amazing girl at the moment, we spend a lot of our time together and I'm beginning to (slowly) accept the idea that I enjoy being with a woman. I've recently split up from my male partner of 4 years but still remain good friends.
It might seem ridiculous but I don't feel ready to be open and honest about it...she doesn't either and so is happy to continue as we are, just having a great time in each other's company. I've introduced her to my dad as my friend and I play it down, basically not making a fuss so that it seems she is like any other female friend I have. But today we got onto the subject of another friend and he began to ask about this girl. He said she doesn't seem very lively(???) and I said well that's because you met her for a whole 5 seconds. This sounds silly but even though he knows nothing of my feelings for her and I don't intend on mentioning it at all, I still want him to like her and not to question her. I had to be careful not to immediately jump to her defence.
I think the true issue behind all of this is my dad is getting older and becoming a bit cynical - he lost my mother when I was 7 years old and has devoted his life to bringing my brother and I up...
I get on very well with my girl's father, he likes me, we chat, I enjoy being in their home and I'm always made to feel welcome. My girl and I very rarely spend any time at my house, generally because it's a mad house but I think because it's not as laid back for some reason?? We never have people visiting really.
I don't really know where I'm going with this but it helps to write things down...I feel very happy at the moment - maybe I should just enjoy the time I'm having with her...at the end of the day that's all that matters right? And as much as it upsets me to say, I'm 23 now, old enough really to make choices about my life and perhaps they are personal that have nothing to do with anyone else?

[BLCHGK777]

Well you both say you don't feel comfortable about telling them that your more than just friends so I would say this: When you BOTH get to the level of being comfortable telling them then by all means do so. Since you are not at this level though I would say try to get there. Don't feel the need to rush into things and tell because you have a lot of time for that (your 23 so you got A LOT of time :bigrin: ). The whole defending her shouldn't drop hints of "other love" if anything it would show strong friendship so don't worry about that part. I am sorry if any of what I typed is not useful.

I wish you both the best and if something happens post it.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Then take your time Darlin. Let the relationship grow and build stronger, then when both of you are feeling like letting the world see and know that you are a couple, then let it be seen and known. ;}
Cat

[pelokwin]

I wish I had some helpful things to say but I got nuttin.All I can say is ask yourself "what do I really want?"
When you can answer that, you will know what to do.

[locotom]

i would have thought that only when you and your friend become comfortable with who you are and where you decide your relationship is going can you progress from there as for family unfortunately there's no guarantees its a sad fact but you can only live your life the way you want to regardless of others cos at the end of the day it is only yours and your partners life that matters i know that sounds cold but who else can live your life for except you? i hope and pray it works out for you both xxx

p.s but at the end of the the day if you can have your family with you that would be great i can only think of one expression that fits which is slowly slowly catchee monkey lol

[Rudy75]

I think your dad kind of knows. Parents usually know kids pretty well.

You and your girl should take him to dinner, but not make a big deal about it. See what happens.

[12voltman59]

I have to second what others have said---since you are rather early along in your relationship--let it develop and settle in a bit---no sense in telling your family yet----but if it goes on and you two feel you want to make a go of it--of course you need to tell your family-----but no need to rush it yet.

Enjoy being together and have fun. Good luck to you both no matter what.