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Giggles100
Jan 24, 2010, 8:48 PM
Bit of a story and question.....

Was in Macdonalds (classy boy :bigrin:) on my own as just parted company with a mate cos he had to get back to work. Anyway I was in the line waiting and this beacon of gayness called to me from the corner.

Sure enough this young boy perhaps 18/19 was sat there with his mates and I just kinda knew? It's very odd It's not something I can switch off my mind just goes "yep he's possibly gay".

Said young boy looked at me and stared for a bit. Eventually smiled and I smiled back.

A straight girl asked me today how gaydar works. I can't explain it to her for me it's a gut feeling I get when I meet someone. This young lad in Macdonalds wasn't wearing any particular clothing.... Infact he looked like most of his friends..... perhaps it was his mannerisms or the look in his eye but I couldn't put a finger on it. Thing is my body involuntarily feels something when it happens.... it's not something I do deliberately my brain just kinda flips on a person and I get a feeling In my tummy...... God I'm wierd!

Anyone else out there possess a gaydar? Who would you explain it?

Long Duck Dong
Jan 24, 2010, 11:03 PM
empathic sensing is the best way I can explain it

think of it like the maternal instinct of a mother.... when they *sense * something is up with their kids.....

there is no real way i can think to define it in simple terms, other than its just a * gift * and a form of intuition that is focussed more in some people than others

djones
Jan 25, 2010, 1:13 AM
Can't explain gaydar - it just works !

I just wish there was BIDAR - can't always tell if that "straight guy" is maybe Bi, or if that "gay guy" might be Bi instead (and therefor more interesting to me !).

fredtyg
Jan 25, 2010, 9:01 AM
I used to think I had a well functioning gaydar, but I guess I don't. A lesbian couple I know and I share some mutual acquaintances. If I were a betting man I would of bet money those two acquaintances were lezzies. If finally asked one of the gals in the couple if she knew if the other two gals were lezzies.

Turned out neither of the gals were lezzies, although Kathy told me that her and Diane thought the first one I asked about was lezzie, too, until they found out otherwise. Kathy said, "Sometimes my gaydar is off, too".

I did pick out two lezzie and two homo couples once, but it was fairly obvious to me:

My wife's sister and her girlfriend were lezzies, unbeknownst to me, until they came over and were wandering around my back yard one time. I noticed they both seemed to be wearing the same type clothes. They also wore wedding rings. After they left I asked my wife if they were lezzie and she told me they were.

The gay couple you could just tell because they always wore the same kind of clothes- if one wore shorts, so did the other- and you'd never see them alone. They were always together.

As for me, I've had a few people in my life tell me they knew I was queer and some say they had no idea.

In a different forum someone suggested eye contact is the best way to tell. If a guy keeps direct eye contact for more than a few seconds, he said they were likely homo. Another guy pointed out that you could easily tell if a guy wasn't homo by talking to him. If the guy is straight he'll likely mention his wife or girlfriend within 5 minutes.

Realist
Jan 25, 2010, 11:06 AM
djones:

I've been bi my whole life, but still people I least expect to be bi, appear from out of the blue!

Actually, I think bisexuals are more difficult to recognize than straight, or gay folks.

Case in point: My 2nd wife's best friend's husband. For about 6 years, while our wives went shopping, craft fairs, visit relatives, etc, etc, he and I went fishing, rode our motorcycles, helped each other do different projects. I never had the slightest idea that he'd be interested in being with a man.

One evening, over a few scotch-n-rocks, we began discussing different people's sexuality. He admitted to me that he'd wondered how it'd be to have sex with a guy! When I responded that I'd had a few male lovers, he was very surprised....and pleased.

Soon after that conversation, we began a sexual relationship, that lasted nearly 10 years!

rissababynta
Jan 25, 2010, 11:16 AM
I think I have pretty good gaydar. There has only been a few times where I've been wrong that I know of.

When we were at a work party for hubby, one of the soldiers in his company caught my eye. She had lopped off all of her hair since the last time I saw her and had a very cute pixie kind of cut. She looked very pretty. For some reason I was sitting there going "ooooh she's bi. I just know it." So when it was time to go I said to my husband "it's about time, all I've been doing the whole time is checking people out." He said "Who the hell were you checking out?" I began to laugh and I told him. He lost it and started laughing so hard saying "What, did your gaydar just switch itself on tonight or what?"

Apparently, I was slightly wrong though. She was married at the time, which is why I assumed she was bi, but at that moment he told me that she related more as lesbian than bi. Supposedly when she first got there, she labeled herself as bi, but not anymore.

He refused to set me up with her. I was sad lol.

Giggles100
Jan 25, 2010, 1:05 PM
I think I have pretty good gaydar. There has only been a few times where I've been wrong that I know of.

When we were at a work party for hubby, one of the soldiers in his company caught my eye. She had lopped off all of her hair since the last time I saw her and had a very cute pixie kind of cut. She looked very pretty. For some reason I was sitting there going "ooooh she's bi. I just know it." So when it was time to go I said to my husband "it's about time, all I've been doing the whole time is checking people out." He said "Who the hell were you checking out?" I began to laugh and I told him. He lost it and started laughing so hard saying "What, did your gaydar just switch itself on tonight or what?"

Apparently, I was slightly wrong though. She was married at the time, which is why I assumed she was bi, but at that moment he told me that she related more as lesbian than bi. Supposedly when she first got there, she labeled herself as bi, but not anymore.

He refused to set me up with her. I was sad lol.

Awww that's so sad! I hate it when your gaydar fires off and the person identifies as straight..... even if deep down they might not be and they are closetted :(.

rissababynta
Jan 25, 2010, 1:29 PM
Awww that's so sad! I hate it when your gaydar fires off and the person identifies as straight..... even if deep down they might not be and they are closetted :(.

Thank goodness in my case, she was adament about not being straight haha.

Giggles100
Jan 25, 2010, 1:35 PM
Thank goodness in my case, she was adament about not being straight haha.

True..... :bigrin:

Cherokee_Mountaincat
Jan 25, 2010, 3:23 PM
Ok, this isnt so much about Gaydar as it is Bidar. I must have it tatooed all across my damn forehead, or something. I'm told I just have this...aura...about me that attracts men, and women both. I dont know why, I dont actively persue women, (welll.. there's a couple that I would pounce on in a heartbeat) but they seem to pick up that I am bi. I give no indication that I am, altho I openly flirt with men..lol

Women automatically snuggle up to me, and I kid that its my "Matronly figure" that causes this. Its that whole soft, warm, cuddly, silky, thing I guess. lol
Bidar, I has it, or it has Me....lol
Silly Cat

MarieDelta
Jan 25, 2010, 3:55 PM
Its more who you are , Cat. You are one of those people that just *feel* safe, I mean that in the best possible sense. I feel that I could tell you most anything.

As far as gaydar goes, I have it. I can also spot a transgender person miles away.

Just a gut thing. Something in the way they move.

astimegoesbi
Jan 25, 2010, 4:56 PM
The first and only time I've felt my "gaydar" (turned out to be bidar) senses go off, someone caught my eye and made my head turn, not in a "That person's hot!" way (no offense to the person), but instinctively. At the time I had no clue and wondered what it was.

I mess with other people's gaydars though. When I first came out as bi, some of my friends replied, "You were so confusing."

Cherokee_Mountaincat
Jan 25, 2010, 8:56 PM
My Marie...thank you Sweet Baby.;)
Muah!
Yer Cat

BLCHGK777
Jan 26, 2010, 11:17 AM
My gaydar is pretty good I can be sitting anywhere and it will go off it's quite fun to see who I spot so know I make it a game to see how many people my gaydar spots :)

Giggles100
Jan 26, 2010, 11:29 AM
My gaydar is pretty good I can be sitting anywhere and it will go off it's quite fun to see who I spot so know I make it a game to see how many people my gaydar spots :)

I play that game too. It's fun ain't it ha ha :bigrin:......

I picked up a gaydar feeling from this girl in Tesco's today. Sure enough she paid for her groceries walked outside and kissed her girlfriend lmao! It's totally wierd how it just....... works :eek:.

I'm sure LGBT people must have a 6th sense? There has to be something in it?

Jackal
Jan 26, 2010, 12:24 PM
Most of the time I think that it's a crap concept. So many people think they have it and that it is infallible. Many of them straight people who only know queer stereotypes. "That woman has short hair and pants, she must be a lesbian!" But there are times when mine has gone off and it tends to be right. My mom thinks everyone is gay for XYZ reasons. My thinking has always been, if you have to explain the feeling, it's probably wrong. You just know. Its more of an instinct. Unless of course there are really, really obvious people, you know the kind of walking stereotypes that make you wonder if they're for real. I do have some bidar apparently. My 'friend' told me that one of her friends (Read: girl she idolizes and tries to be in every way possible, no matter how unsuccessfully) was bi, and I said, "I know." and she was taken a back and wanted to know how I knew, since I really don't know this girl. I just did, it wasn't hard to figure out.

chris2962
Jan 29, 2010, 2:28 PM
Except for the most obvious people, who really want to be identified, I can't tell. I wish I could. Now, I think I'm totally straight looking and acting, but I've been approached twice in the last couple of months by guys at the gym and ended up going out with each. How did they know? I can't explain it, but I'm glad they did.