my desire is like a roller coaster [Archive]

glansandlabia

Jan 22, 2010, 4:27 PM

I'm a 37yo bisexual man. My experiance with men is limited to a little oral a few years ago. The odd thing is my desire for sex with a man comes and goes. I haven't given it much thought for about 3+ weeks until the last couple of days now it all I can think about. This will last about a week or two then another desire "dry spell" anyone out there (man or woman) go through the same thing?

bidaddy1960

Jan 22, 2010, 5:11 PM

I'm 49 and bi curious. But I have the same thing going on. I can go months without thinking about it and then bam I'm on Xhamster feeding my fantasies.
Don't know why. It's not that my libido is off and on - thanks to Androgel it is pretty much always on - so I don't what is going on.

pelokwin

Jan 23, 2010, 8:06 AM

I go for weeks without not only thinking about it, I don't want to do it at all. It has been this way since I was a teen. (so i know it ain't old age;)). Never gave it much thought though. But when I come back and want it again, LOOK OUT!!!:bigrin:

tenni

Jan 23, 2010, 10:44 AM

I think that is a perfectly normal bisexual reaction. The desire may be cyclical and even unpredictable for some. For others it may be more even and constant.

fredtyg

Jan 23, 2010, 11:02 AM

I think that is a perfectly normal bisexual reaction. The desire may be cyclical and even unpredictable for some. For others it may be more even and constant.

Yep, it varies within individuals and within the individual.

Bravobi

Jan 23, 2010, 3:24 PM

I have had the same type of feeling for as long as I can remember. A strong desire to be with another male....actually an overwhelming desire which lasts for a couple of weeks, then it passes for a couple of weeks. But as I have gotten older, and into my mid 40's the desire seems more consistent, and feels like it is becoming almost permanent. It is possible for your sexuality to change with age?

tenni

Jan 23, 2010, 4:03 PM

I wouldn't say that your sexuality changes as you would still be bisexual. Perhaps for some, their preference may change. Are you attracted only on a physical level or also an emotional level to men?

It would be interesting if this is purely a physical reaction such as testoterone hormonal levels changing as men age? It may also have environmental and sociological factors in some cases. I don't think this has ever been studied?

I have had the same type of feeling for as long as I can remember. A strong desire to be with another male....actually an overwhelming desire which lasts for a couple of weeks, then it passes for a couple of weeks. But as I have gotten older, and into my mid 40's the desire seems more consistent, and feels like it is becoming almost permanent. It is possible for your sexuality to change with age?

Bravobi

Jan 23, 2010, 4:34 PM

I wouldn't say that your sexuality changes as you would still be bisexual. Perhaps for some, their preference may change. Are you attracted only on a physical level or also an emotional level to men?

It would be interesting if this is purely a physical reaction such as testoterone hormonal levels changing as men age? It may also have environmental and sociological factors in some cases. I don't think this has ever been studied?

I never used to be that attracted to men, but over the last few years I have become very attracted (physically) to men. As for the emotional portion, I have not had a relationship with a male to determine that aspect. The physical reaction to loss of testosterone has some interesting prospects. Thanks for your reply.

fredtyg

Jan 23, 2010, 5:15 PM

It is possible for your sexuality to change with age?

We've actually had similar threads here before. Seems to me the consensus seemed to be that most people's sexual desires changed fairly often with homosexual desires coming out more as and likely increasing as one gets older. I tend to think a lot of that is just coming to grips with bi/homo desires, accepting them more and feeling more at ease with them.

The testosterone idea is interesting, though.

tenni

Jan 23, 2010, 5:15 PM

I never used to be that attracted to men, but over the last few years I have become very attracted (physically) to men. As for the emotional portion, I have not had a relationship with a male to determine that aspect. The physical reaction to loss of testosterone has some interesting prospects. Thanks for your reply.

I wouldn't put much faith into my testosterone comment. I was reading something this morning and I was just free thinking. I don't think that there is any evidence and so no doctor is going to say ya....just free think'ng but who knows.

wildwestgoob

Jan 23, 2010, 5:46 PM

I can go along with this,... I have periods too where I go for weeks without even thinking about a male sexually.... then... well.. yeah, it's like a druggie needing a fix.

Chemical imbalance I am sure.

:rolleyes:

wildwestgoob

Jan 24, 2010, 1:07 AM

Long Duck Dong

Jan 24, 2010, 4:34 AM

Now see, there is where *I* differ... I can have days without even thinking about sex with a woman, just as I have days without thinking of sex with guys.

Some days even (shock) I wont even think about sex at all... lol :rolleyes:

I love you dude.... you can understand how its possible for a person to not be driven by sex unless there is sexual stimuli......

I wish I could get others to understand its that simple..... I just do not think about sex......

bistraightpat

Jan 24, 2010, 5:13 PM

I am the same way. Recently though it has been much more consistent. I think it may be because I've told all my close friends so I am more comfortable with who I am so I accept it more. When only one person knew I was just bi curious but as I expressed it I found I am really bisexual.

jamieknyc

Jan 24, 2010, 7:18 PM

I also go in and out of desire for it. Sometimes I feel like I have no interest at all. Other times I could do it on the spot.

TwylaTwobits

Jan 24, 2010, 10:30 PM

Long Duck Dong you are forgetting that not everyone is or decides to be as celibate as a monk like you are.

Okay...he's not a monk. He is celibate at this moment because he is being faithful to his partner, me. Don't get me wrong we have our share of fun on the phone and msn but he is not having sexual relations because he actually cares and wants to remain faithful.

Now to the OP...happens to straight people too. Sex drive is something that in all humans and animals can come and go with different triggers, different seasons, different thoughts.

Long Duck Dong

Jan 24, 2010, 10:32 PM

Long Duck Dong you are forgetting that not everyone is or decides to be as celibate as a monk like you are.

roflmao..... I never realised that being faithful to a partner is being a monk..... I thing it was something to do with love and respect for my partner.....

if I was not in a relationship.... would most likely have a different view of sex and sexual contact with others... as I would not be bound by a desire to be faithful

but I guess I am quilty of not being controlled by my dick..... sighs.....

tenni

Jan 24, 2010, 11:22 PM

Twyla
It isn't our sex drive that comes and goes at all. Our sex drive remains constant usually. It is which gender that we desire that may keep changing. It is the switch that flips for same sex. Opposite sex may remain constant or it may also switch off as the same sex switch comes on. Straight people do not switch on and off their sexual attraction for which gender they prefer.

Okay...

Now to the OP...happens to straight people too. Sex drive is something that in all humans and animals can come and go with different triggers, different seasons, different thoughts.

Long Duck Dong

Jan 24, 2010, 11:40 PM

Twyla
It isn't our sex drive that comes and goes at all. Our sex drive remains constant usually. It is which gender that we desire that may keep changing. It is the switch that flips for same sex. Opposite sex may remain constant or it may also switch off as the same sex switch comes on. Straight people do not switch on and off their sexual attraction for which gender they prefer.

tell that to the sex therapists that deal with loss of sex drive and desire..... cos its a documented fact that ya sex drive is affected with a number of issues

TwylaTwobits

Jan 24, 2010, 11:44 PM

Twyla
It isn't our sex drive that comes and goes at all. Our sex drive remains constant usually. It is which gender that we desire that may keep changing. It is the switch that flips for same sex. Opposite sex may remain constant or it may also switch off as the same sex switch comes on. Straight people do not switch on and off their sexual attraction for which gender they prefer.

Tenni, the sex drive does not remain constant. It's like a car that needs gas to go, hence my saying it can come and go with different triggers. But the OP stated his desire for a man did come and go with dry spells. He did not state or imply that he was not having the same problem with a woman. Therefore my point is still valid. It happens to us all.

tenni

Jan 24, 2010, 11:55 PM

Uh...This thread is not about sex drive? Twyla introduced sex drive. You are correct, my error. Yes, the sex drive may vary but sex drive is not the point of discussion.

This is the thread topic that the OP stated.

The odd thing is my desire for sex with a man comes and goes. .. This will last about a week or two then another desire "dry spell" anyone out there (man or woman) go through the same thing?

TwylaTwobits

Jan 25, 2010, 12:00 AM

And my response still stands, he is not stating he is also having a lack of desire for women at any point either coinciding or conflicting with this dry spells for men. It's natural, it happens to us all.

tenni

Jan 25, 2010, 12:03 AM

Uh...ok

Enjoy
I think that you are well suited to each other.

TwylaTwobits

Jan 25, 2010, 12:05 AM

Uh...ok

Enjoy
I think that you are well suited to each other.
And that means what??? That you can't argue my point? Why don't we just wait for the OP to clarify if he is also having periods of lack of desire like a rollercoaster for women as well as men. Or would that strain you too much, Tenni, to not have something you interpreted explained the way you want it explained.

tenni

Jan 25, 2010, 12:09 AM

Good idea
Enjoy your evening.

fred fencesitter

Jan 25, 2010, 12:58 AM

I've had a LOT of fluidity in my desires over the years. When I was a college boy, I was primarily attracted to women, but sometimes fantasized about men. When I was around 30, I was occasionally attracted to women, but was basically interested in men. (And since I thought of myself as gay, I thought that the feelings for women would just go away as I accepted my identity). Now that I'm pushing 40, I'm primarily interested in sex and relationships with women, but occasionally find men attractive.

glansandlabia

Jan 25, 2010, 3:29 PM

Thanks! Everyones input was a lot of help. I now know I'm not the only one that feels and a bisexual roller coaster. Now the attraction I feel toward a mans "bits" is stronger than usual and will probably fade in a couple weeks. Thanks again, oh and if anyone in Ga wants to talk let me know!

Mikej069

Jan 25, 2010, 3:52 PM

locotom

Jan 25, 2010, 4:40 PM

me i think its because as we get older we (men) just cant be bothered with the chase and we know we can definitely score with another man who basically just wants exactly the same thing i;e his leg over? "british expression sorry"

fortiesbifun

Apr 6, 2010, 11:56 PM

For me it has to do with how Horny I am and how much Gay and Bisexual porn I have been watching..lol.There are times that all I think about is other guys and how much I would enjoy having sex,other times Im all about girls.One odd thing with me,the moment I cum,I dislike the idea of Bi-sex..give me five minutes and Im back liking it ?

MIke this is me to a tee. i am all about sucking cock while jerking off - once i cum, not so much. the last thing i did with my wife - came on her tits and licked my own cum. it was terrific for me - freaked my wife out....