Take a walk on the wild side...

[mikey3000]

Ok, I've seen many on here who are bisexuals and married to straight partners, yet others have bi spouses too. Are there any here who have convinced their straight spouse to, "take a walk on the wild side" so to speak? How did it turn out? Good? Bad? Or should we even try to convince our S/O's to attempt it? Is it ethical for us try and share our enthusiasm for the same sex? If you did, have any tips you wanna share?

[allbimyself]

Ok, I've seen many on here who are bisexuals and married to straight partners, yet others have bi spouses too. Are there any here who have convinced their straight spouse to, "take a walk on the wild side" so to speak? How did it turn out? Good? Bad? Or should we even try to convince our S/O's to attempt it? Is it ethical for us try and share our enthusiasm for the same sex? If you did, have any tips you wanna share?

I'm not sure what you are asking. Are you asking if my SO joined in a 3some with me and another guy or are you asking if she tried sex with a woman?

[mikey3000]

I'm asking that, as bisexuals, is it ethical for us to try and convince our straight spouses to at least try same sex sex, and see if they like it? Try to convert them, so to speak.

[allbimyself]

I'm asking that, as bisexuals, is it ethical for us to try and convince our straight spouses to at least try same sex sex, and see if they like it? Try to convert them, so to speak.

Unethical? No. Whether it's smart or not depends on how you go about it. First step is to ask. If you get a resounding "NO" I wouldn't ever bring it up again. Even if she seems somewhat interested, pestering and goading are not going to do much good (assuming the relationship doesn't involve emotional domination).

[darkeyes]

Perfectly ethical Mikey hun.. it shud go wivout sayin.. equally it ethical for them 2 tell us wer 2 go.....

.. don like the phrase "try 2 convert".. but kno wotya mean..

[allbimyself]

don like the phrase "try 2 convert".. but kno wotya mean..

Yeah, that terminology got me a bit upset, too. Visions of the "bisexual inquisition" in my head LOL

But seriously, "convert" sounds like what those bible-thumping morons want to do to non-heterosexuals. We'll pray the gay away!

[Long Duck Dong]

lol my advise is do not push a partner..... they may be straight or bi curious or bi ( closeted ) but the worst thing in the world is pressure...

put yourself in their shoes... imagine being pushed constantly to sleep with somebody when you are not interested / not ready to explore that aspect of yourself.... then it goes wrong and you end up with a sour taste in your mouth.... that could ruin any chance of any exploration in the future.....

like bisexuals, non sexuals can be curious, but reserved, and can harbour the same doubts about coming out that we deal with..... our partners can be worried about the issues of being outted, cleanliness, discreteness, emotional and mental issues.... and a big one is what will we think of them.....and what happens if they find they enjoy the company of another enuf that it affects the relationship and they question if their relationship with you, is really what they want any more......

these are issues that are not addressed often enuf in the forums, and interesting enuf, it mainly appears to be males that have the issue of extramartial connections.... it can be the way we are handling it and approaching the issue......

I know of a few couples that have been able to open up their relationships with good results, and for the most part, they had a good open relationship to start with.... 2 with bisexual female partners and 3 with male bisexual partners.... and yeah there have been the bad ones.... including one of the messy divorces I have seen the misfortune to witness....

[darkeyes]

lol my advise is do not push a partner..... they may be straight or bi curious or bi ( closeted ) but the worst thing in the world is pressure...



Def Duckie... ya need hav sed no more...:)

[rissababynta]

I feel that there is nothing wrong with going to ones partner and saying "Have you ever thought about it? Do you think that maybe it's something you would want to try some day to see if you like it?" This is what I did with my husband. But beyond that, I feel that one should get over it. Constantly asking, pushing, and bringing it up in conversation will without a doubt put pressure on the SO and one of two things can happen:

1. The person really does want to try, but you have now made them such a nervous wreck about it, they don't even want to think about it anymore.
2. They really are not bi/bicurious and want no part of it and now they just think that you are asshole who can't let things go and they leave you :tongue:

[mikey3000]

Hey, who said presure? I never said pressure. Where did I say pressure? LOL!!!

And of course the s/o has every right to say no. Geez, I feel you guys don't really know me at all. I've been anonymously spillin my guts on this site for months now and get no appreciation. :(. (tee hee hee).

[Giggles100]

If your bisexual and with a partner surely if they had those kinds of feelings it would encourage them to open up anyway.

I do know a couple where the girl is bi and the guy is straight albeit open minded. They have an open/poly relationship which leaves the girl free to explore sex with other girls. The guy is also able to sleep with other women too but I don't think he does much.

What I'm trying to say is that they are really happy with each other even though he'll always be straight.

(We suspect he's not though ;). He's a better dancer than me lmao :bigrin:!)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Theres no harm in asking, Mikey. A person cant get an answer unless they ask the question. Nowhere did I see you mention pressuring or badgering.

A simple discussion is good. I wouldnt try "Converting" tho. A person either is, or isnt Bi, and conversion accomplishes nothing. But if she was curious, or expressed an interest in watching You, that would be fine too..:}

Hugzz
Cat

[wikskul]

I dont find harm in discussing it, BUT if Your S/O is straight, i do not think it would be right to keep pushing. i have been with many many straight men and yes we have talked about it, but when hey have said they would never be with another man, i have never pressed the issue, i believe that if they respect me and who i am, i should respect them and who they are. If they choose later down the line that they would like to try something, then would be the time to discuss it, because it was their choice.

so trying to convince a straight to take " a ride on the wild side" could really blow up in you face, it can cause alot of strain and hard feelings, and alot of emotional and mental problems that just are not worth putting anyone through.. shame, hate... loathing ect ect ect

[swohbi]

Yes I agree that asking or at least discussing it is OK. But like previous posters have mentioned, if they know you are bi already, then they most likely will feel comfortable with expressing their curiosity with you if they have them.

I am married to a straight spouse, and we have had a "conventional" open marriage (both straight) for several years and we had the numerous discussions about what we like and don't like. I always gave her the opportunity to explore other women if she wanted to, and she dabbled briefly. But I had always told her not to do it for my sake, but for hers. So with no pressure for me, she moved away from it.

She also encouraged me to explore and now that I have come to grips with my sexuality (bi) she isn't that comfortable with it either. So we are finding ourselves at a difficult point in our lives where we are having to redefine the boundaries of our relationship.

In swinging, I have always been turned off by "bi entertaining" women that do it ONLY for their men. I know some people like this and that is their preference. It is only my opinion. Personally I get turned on by my wife's pleasure, regardless of the source, and would rather watch two women that wanted to play because of their own interest. That is much hotter IMHO.