I know this is a bi site and all, but...

[drawingboard3]

...does anyone else ever go through phases of asexuality where they have absolutely no attraction or desire to be with either sex?

I've gone through a few of these phases throughout my adult life and there never really seems to be any rhyme or reason, as far as what might trigger them, if anything at all...
This has happened whether or not I'm single, in a relationship, or dating multiple people at once. It's almost as if my brain shuts off the 'attraction switch' whenever it feels like it.

Is this a lot more common than I'm imagining it to be? Just curious if there are others out there who feel this too...
Thanks.

[Realist]

Yep, I had a wife who was exactly like that!

Notice I said, "HAD"!

[AdamKadmon43]

...does anyone else ever go through phases of asexuality where they have absolutely no attraction or desire to be with either sex?

I've gone through a few of these phases throughout my adult life and there never really seems to be any rhyme or reason, as far as what might trigger them, if anything at all...
This has happened whether or not I'm single, in a relationship, or dating multiple people at once. It's almost as if my brain shuts off the 'attraction switch' whenever it feels like it.

Is this a lot more common than I'm imagining it to be? Just curious if there are others out there who feel this too...
Thanks.

Yep.... Happens to me all the time.

But I suspect that in my case, it is because the only people who ever get attracted to ME are usually ugly and dumb, and have horrid personalities, and smell bad, and seem to have not the slightest concept that there is actually no reason what so ever for humanity to even exist.

Either all that or they are so negative about everything that I can not endure being around them.

[drwilsontx]

Yep, I had a wife who was exactly like that!

Notice I said, "HAD"!

Divorce is a wonderful thing.

[12voltman59]

Actually, I have had some times like that---it was not so much that I wanted things to be like that--its just that some circumstances dictated this to be so--I made it thru them----I do think that going without sex for a time--is one of those things---it might seem to be "bad" at first glance--but it can actually be a "learning experience."

I know that I have a different way of looking at things, but that is me.

I can say--when the "drought broke"--I sure did appreciate and enjoy sex all the more.

I did learn--that the notion most people have that "you cannot live without sex!" that is total BULLSHIT--it is perfectly possible for people to go along well without sex.

To go without sex for a long period---to me it is one of those sorts of things that "builds character." I think that more people should try it!!!

[Canticle]

Yep.... Happens to me all the time.

But I suspect that in my case, it is because the only people who ever get attracted to ME are usually ugly and dumb, and have horrid personalities, and smell bad, and seem to have not the slightest concept that there is actually no reason what so ever for humanity to even exist.

Either all that or they are so negative about everything that I can not endure being around them.

I'm speechless. Totally speechless. I just love it when a person is talking about themself. Sheesh.

[12voltman59]

Poor Adam---everyone in the world sits around, doing nothing but thinking about all the ways they hate him!! :bigrin::bigrin:

[AdamKadmon43]

I like this place..... I really do....

It gives me a great deal of comfort to know that there are lots of people out there more hopelessly screwed up than I am.

[happygolucky40]

I had a period of time where I wasn't interested is sex. It had to do with very low levels of testosterone. Problem was easily solved with Testosterone shots. You might be experiencing a physical symptom.

[Giggles100]

Sometimes...... doesn't last long though thankfully :bigrin:

[still_shy]

So, this is really similar to the thread I just started....I wish I'd read it before starting the other one :} Sorry bout that!

[rissababynta]

Yep, I had a wife who was exactly like that!

Notice I said, "HAD"!

Oh my God this is so funny lmfao. Basically sums up what everyone thinks of their spouse. I've even told my husband that the day he stops fucking the way he does, I'm gone lmfao!!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I like this place..... I really do....

It gives me a great deal of comfort to know that there are lots of people out there more hopelessly screwed up than I am.

LMAO Adam, I really dont know what your "Staker" sees in you, but there must be Something she loves...lol

And we arent screwed up, TYVM, we are just uniquelty weird unto oursellves! So there...:tongue:
Cat.

[jamiehue]

yeah my intrest fades when i got bills for new diesel eng..newfurnace....digging up wain water to barns vet bills big ones yeah it prob. that.

[Mrs.F]

I have this problem also and all Flounder tells me is that I need to let go of the stress in my life or find out what is "wrong" with me. Easier said than done.....Found out by accident that my husband is bi after 10 yrs. of marriage, really rocked my life for awhile and maybe still is. I'm the only one who has a job in this house. Flounder had a motorcycle accident in 2008 and has now been without a job for over a yr. We are in a lawsuit for his accident which we hope to be wrapping up soon but not getting the settlement we hoped for. He can't just go get a job because he's in pain all the time and has now applied for disability. My mom has a tumor on her adrenal gland which we were back and forth to the U of Iowa Hospital for. My dad died 3 yrs. ago in a terrible fall. My sister went through a ugly divorce at the same time my dad died, inwhich we all had to be there for her and her girls and then afterwards, took the bastard back, never remarried but they live as they are and that has caused a lot of family issues. My brother and sister don't always get along and this causes family problems. I have to do most the house work as well as work outside the home because Flounder can't. And then he's pissed at me because I don't want sex ever. Gee....what is wrong with me and why is it that I can't just let it all go and be happy???!! Someone please explain that to me.
It very well could be a testerone problem but the testing for that..health insurance will not pay for and my money tree in the back yard has been empty for years.
I am frustrated about many things and have seen a therapist. All we seemed to talk about was Flounder being bi and I just finding out and my dad dying. It didn't seem to make me feel better like I had the high hopes for.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I hear ya Mrs. F. Life can be a bitch sometimes, and stresses can be a Major contributing facotor for thecturn off of sex, believe me. When you've got alot on your head it tends to shut down all of thecother functions and inhibit the sex drive..majorly.
I understand this wholeheartedly. Last year, before the Ex and I broke up, my libido totally shut shut down, after I moved out I found out about the probs in my right leg, then menopause(The first half of it) blind-sided me. It just took a complete dump,(the libido) and surprised the hell out of me, and several other people as well. Not even my dearest lover's could do anything to 'kick-start' the libido. :(

Gradually, the issue with my leg was resolved, and the libido encreased a bit after thatvtension and stress factor began clearing up. A sweet young man and an Adorable young women, kicked my libido and I was back into full swing for three months....until this latest issue with the menopause raised its ugly head. Thats a bitch..the libido came back in full throttle just in time for the plumbing to all to hell..lol Thge hormones are still there, I just cant do a damn thing with them at the friggin moment..sigh. :rolleyes:

Start taking some time for You, Girlfriend. Just You. Take a little bit of time Every day to go find a quiet spot to just Breathe in, and Listen to everything around you. Dont think, just Do. Let go of everything for just a short time, and get your head back on straight. :} You are carrying a heavy load, Hon, and its taking its toll. But dont let it. Once things begin to ease up and the pressures are not as great, then things will come back..to you and to the OP'er.
Sometimes the mind has to be about to have some peace before the body can get a piece. ;}
Hugs to you and Flounder, and to Drawingboard, too..:}
Yer Cat.

[darkeyes]

and get your head back on straight. :}
Yer Cat.

Me jus don believe u jus sed that cat me luffly..tee hee;)

[jem_is_bi]

I like this place..... I really do....

It gives me a great deal of comfort to know that there are lots of people out there more hopelessly screwed up than I am.

I really enjoy being as screwed up as I am.
I have never been as happy as now.
(Well, maybe when I was 21 that was just as good.)
I hope that makes you feel even better.

[AdamKadmon43]

LMAO Adam, I really dont know what your "Staker" sees in you, but there must be Something she loves...lol

Cat.

I don't know what it is either.... All I know is that I would dearly love to be loved a great deal less.

[AdamKadmon43]

I really enjoy being as screwed up as I am.
I have never been as happy as now.
(Well, maybe when I was 21 that was just as good.)
I hope that makes you feel even better.

It does indeed make me feel much better.....

And thank you for your input.

[jem_is_bi]

I had a problem with lack of sexual desire for about 6 months as a result of a prostrate infection. Otherwise, I have always had a very major sexual attraction for men and a significant (but much less) attraction to women.

[12voltman59]

Well--I can say that during the times I abstained from sex--I still had a sex drive--it was just that the situation in life--like being on board a military ship---pretty much precludes any sexual activity if you are smart--since as I have said before--for the most part---sexual activity of any sort in a military operational setting is pretty much against the rules---you take a risk even trying to jerk off----get caught by someone---you might not be in any sort of trouble with your command---but you sure as hell catch all kinds of grief from everybody on board---things lilke that go around a ship in like ten seconds!! :bigrin::bigrin:

Things like that are called "scuttlebutt" and man--the "scuttlebutt telegraph" might not be correct all that often--but it sure is damn efficient!!!!

[Canticle]

I don't know what it is either.... All I know is that I would dearly love to be loved a great deal less.

Bananas....definitely bananas. I think the potassium must do one a lot of good. They taste good too! They taste even better, eaten sideways...like chimpanzees eat them. Just shows how clever they are. LOL!

Oops! Just realised...commented on the wrong post....or maybe I got the wrong thread. Never mind.....all is meaningful.

And the bananas (No, I'm not bananas), tell me that Adam would hate it, if a certain person didn't love him....and she ain't no stalker.

I love the people on this site....they have humour...well..some....I must never generalise. Good peeps...nice peeps.

[Apleasureseeker]

Sex drive can suffer due to stress, lack of physical activity, illness or age (not sure if I beleive that!). I first exepreinced a lack of sex drinve in my early 20 when I got my first serious job--it was just the job stress.

Get checked out by a doctor first, and see what he says.

Some things that work for me when I'm feeling a little low in the count include aerobic exercise, change of scenery or a vacation (sometimes it's just seeing too much of the same old that drains your battery), vitamins, particularly B complex & E, change in diet (junk food can drag you down if you eat too much) increase in protein. Also I've gotten good results from eating walnuts! That helped when I was at that first job I mentioned.
Other stuff that keeps my cock alert are: the amino acid l-arginine, and herbs like ginseng, daimiana, tribulus extract, and so forth. An herb called Yohimbe is very strong, but it tends to make you exhaust yourself because it's very stimulating, and it's supposed to have bad side effects with certain foods and other substances. Most health food stores sell herb capsules that are a combination of these things.

Also--avoid orgasms! For me, it seems to take almost three days to fully recharge my sex battery (I do OK, otherwise, but if the person I'm with wants me like a horney teenager, I want ot be fully charged!). That's not to say I don't engage in sex, in fact i try ot have some sort of sexual stimulation everyday, either with a friend or alone. I just don't let it come. Too many orgasms do seem to deplete the body (is it obvious I've dated yoginis?). Non orgasmic sex is hot once you get used to it, but too much will bring out strongly bisexual tenancies!:rolleyes: I try not to allow myself to orgasm more than 1-3 time a month.

[NEPHX]

.... It had to do with very low levels of testosterone. Problem was easily solved with Testosterone shots. ....

I'd agree.... they also have (RX) Testosterone ointments that you just rub on your back (I think its on one's back). Its actually a pretty common issue.

[JP1986UM]

Its not uncommon for people to go thru a lack of sex drive at all. For bisexual-oriented persons it might be a swing toward one or back toward another. What you need to understand is that sexuality is not determined by a single gene. People have been looking for ONE gene for being gay or lesbian or whatever. It doesn't exist. There are a series of GENES, plural, that determine hormonal levels that assist in the sexual drive and shit like that. However, these levels are determined by proteins that are made in the cells of the adrenal glands, sex organs, and brain, so a lack of them could be only because other proteins are being made more so than those at the time. Its the only explanation for varying levels of sexual interest regardless of orientation.

Bisexuals will just be affected in ways not common to monosexual orientation persons.

[citystyleguy]

hell, not a problem to worry about; the fortunate thing about being human is the diversity of interests that we can enjoy!

a period of asexuality is a great time for renewal of other energies; if however, it becomes long-term than something esle is at play and needs exploration. i know of many creative people that take time off from all other sorts of needs in order to focus themselves on their task at hand.

i enjoy the same thing myself, and then find engery for other things that more enhanced, so maybe this dry period is to focus on the elemination of problem or irritant?

[Alex22]

I found a few reasonable responses to post, and many stupid and even cruel ones. Ignore those. PPL sometimes, geez.

U just fine dear. Everyone needs time to self. A sex drive isn't constant, it waxes and wanes like ocean waves. True for all whether "they" admit or not.

Try not to worry so much and just enjoy both the peaks and valleys. It's all natural.

[12voltman59]

hell,

a period of asexuality is a great time for renewal of other energies; if however, it becomes long-term than something esle is at play and needs exploration. i know of many creative people that take time off from all other sorts of needs in order to focus themselves on their task at hand.



I have experienced this when I am involved in some sort of intense creative period either writing, painting or taking photos-----I guess it could be like the thing the person who posted up the thread about sucking cock can be a mystical/metaphysical thing----maybe we only have so much "creative" type energies---and if they get diverted to something other than sex---it sort of negates the need for sex--I don't know----just throwing it out as a possibility----and if such a thing is true--its also probably one of those things we aren't supposed to figure out.

After the period of not doing much sex because some creative project took first priority---the sex drive came back in spades and sex was extra fun!! So maybe citystyleguy is right about this aspect of sex and creativity.