help

[liltrouble]

Where do i start first! Well i have been with the same guy for 7 years and we broke up. Over a big miss understanding I thought he was cheating on me.So i went out and found a friend(a nother guy)and it went to far (big mistake one my part).So he moved out.Well anyways he was the only one that knew i was bi.He always told me to be honest with my self just i didnt want my family to dis own me.Well then i met a girl she listen to how much i cared and love this guy.I was broke thought i could never be fixed again.I told My Ex how much i needed him and he started see other girls.So i turned more and more to the girl i met.Well know the girl i met and I are really good friends and on New Years eve i came out and told my family bout my big secet.They dont think any diff. about me and i feel like a 100 bucks.So now the love of my life are trying to work stuff out.I told him bout the girl that was there for me and wanted him to join us.I'm not sure if he is really game.And am not sure what to do bout the other girl he is talking to.He tells me there just friends but she send him naked pic of her.(she not even hot)I would love to have some input or help on what i should do.

[tenni]

There seems to be several things going on in your life. I don't know your age but I'm going to suggest that the first thing to work on is yourself. I'm only basing this on what you have written. Feel good about yourself. Find ways to be confident whether the boyfriend stays involved with you or not.

Take it slow with the 7 year relationship and figure out why you suspected that he was cheating on you. Decide if there were grounds for your suspicion or if it is something about yourself that made you feel insecure. Your guy is going to do what he wants to do as far as the other woman is concerned. If you present yourself as needy I suspect that he won't find that appealing.

You haven't mentioned your feelings for this new girlfriend but have referenced a threesome. Have you been sexually intimate with her? What are your feelings towards her? Would you be interested in developing this relationship with her and give up on the boyfriend? Is a threesome going to help your perception of yourself or are you offering this up to your boyfriend in hopes of keeping him interested in you?

The questions are really for you to ponder. You may benefit from some counselling either as an individual or as a couple with your boyfriend if he is willing to take part.

[liltrouble]

There seems to be several things going on in your life. I don't know your age but I'm going to suggest that the first thing to work on is yourself. I'm only basing this on what you have written. Feel good about yourself. Find ways to be confident whether the boyfriend stays involved with you or not.

Take it slow with the 7 year relationship and figure out why you suspected that he was cheating on you. Decide if there were grounds for your suspicion or if it is something about yourself that made you feel insecure. Your guy is going to do what he wants to do as far as the other woman is concerned. If you present yourself as needy I suspect that he won't find that appealing.

You haven't mentioned your feelings for this new girlfriend but have referenced a threesome. Have you been sexually intimate with her? What are your feelings towards her? Would you be interested in developing this relationship with her and give up on the boyfriend? Is a threesome going to help your perception of yourself or are you offering this up to your boyfriend in hopes of keeping him interested in you?

The questions are really for you to ponder. You may benefit from some counselling either as an individual or as a couple with your boyfriend if he is willing to take part.

am 29 and i have two kids and thats what i have been putting my self first.And he swear that she just a friend so i told him to bring her around if she just a friend.and has of the girl that am talking to she has a girlfriend but wouldnt mind doing stuff with me and that what my boyfriend want is for me to be happy.

[tenni]

That adds more to the picture. If he is the father of your children or even a major part of the kids' lives, think about them as a major factor but you are of key importance as well. If you feel confident and together, it should help with parenting. if you are stressed and unhappy, it will effect your parenting. Keep your girl friend just as a platonic friend for now as she may offer you some support. Don't add to the emotional complexity by making her a lover ...at this point in time...maybe later depending upon how your relationship goes with your boyfriend.

I would still advise that you consider getting couple counselling if possible. This third woman's role if any will become clearer if you have a third impartial party to help you sort through things. Your girlfriend will give emotional support but a trained impartial counsellor may help clear issues up for you and your boyfriend. If your boyfriend wants you to be happy, he should agree to go with you to counselling. If the counsellor has experience with bisexuals that may help but make sure that they are capable of being impartial. There may be places to go with no fee or subsidized fees if needed.

I'm happy for you that your family has shown you support as a bisexual. That should reduce the stress on you to some extent. Family is family though and not trained impartial counsellors.

Of course, this is just my opinion based upon what you wrote and for whatever it is worth to you. Best of luck and happiness.


am 29 and i have two kids and thats what i have been putting my self first.And he swear that she just a friend so i told him to bring her around if she just a friend.and has of the girl that am talking to she has a girlfriend but wouldnt mind doing stuff with me and that what my boyfriend want is for me to be happy.