Guess I jumped the gun on this one

[rissababynta]

Perhaps I piped up a bit too soon about the pregnancy. Last night, I began spotting ever so slightly and when I woke up this morning I was bleeding. I bled quite heavily for about a week when I was pregnant with my son, so I just went about my business for the day and kept an eye on it. I went to the hospital after noticing a small piece of lining and feeling pressure and cramping similar to my period but left AMA after they wanted me to stay three hours to get an ultra sound to check for an ectopic pregnancy which I had and still have no signs and symptems of. No thanks on that one...anyways, a few hours ago I started passing some clots. They have all been very small so far, but in the end they are still clots.

So overall, it's quite clear that I have begun to miscarry. I'm ok with that though. I know that sometimes things like this just happen, and that if it's not meant to be at that time, then it's just not meant to be. I'm not overly depressed or freaked out about it, so no pity parties please :-) Just felt like letting you all know what has happened.

And yeah I know this is probably more information than some of you would like to hear, but that's too damn bad :tongue:

[touchzing]

That is sad news this New Year's Eve.

[AdamKadmon43]

I hope that you are OK.

I care about you.

[Karasel]

That is always sad news. I've had two friends that was way more far along than you when they miscarried. One even got an yeast infection because of it. They were very sad when it happened, but they say that they have made piece with it.

I'm glad your situation wasn't as bad as theirs.

[12voltman59]

Sorry to hear that---keep on trying though---my mom had a number of miscarriages----she went ten years between my sister and myself----with a few of them in that time span.

[rissababynta]

Sorry to hear that---keep on trying though---my mom had a number of miscarriages----she went ten years between my sister and myself----with a few of them in that time span.

OOOhhhhh no...no no no...nope I'm good haha. I didn't even try for this one. Have no desire to try. If it happens it happens, but having three kids already there shall be no actual trying haha.

FYI to you guys, I saw the doctor today, and all my labs came back saying that I am no longer pregnant. Consider that it was just a week ago that tests were coming back positive, they said that they think that I aborted immediately and is just now beginning to flush out in the form of a late period. So yeah, it's over.

[rissababynta]

That is always sad news. I've had two friends that was way more far along than you when they miscarried. One even got an yeast infection because of it. They were very sad when it happened, but they say that they have made piece with it.

I'm glad your situation wasn't as bad as theirs.

Yes you are right. I consider myself to be very lucky right now. The majority of miscarriages do not go as easily as this went. Even at the number of weeks I was, one would normally still feel like they are having a very VERY uncomfortable and heavy period. It's not even that bad for me.

[12voltman59]

Well Rissa---since you don't seem to really want to have another wee one--then I guess this is one of those deals where you go: "Whheeewwwww!! We sure dodged a bullet on that one!!" sigh!!

[smartsexychick]

I had a miscarriage some years ago, and it was only this past year that I dealt with any of it. It was following the end of an affair, and all of it was just too painful. With the help of someone I love, I was able to face this truth. Publishing it online on Literotica (they have a non-erotic section as well), I got amazing support from people, many of whom experienced the same. This is my story:

Lullaby for a Teenager

Thank you to my Protector who gave me "One More Angel". The courage to do this came from your affection and your understanding, and I will always love you for it.


Honey, it's your Mommy.

I know that you probably don't recognize me because it has been a long time. I haven't been well, locked away so as not to be contagious, but for the first time in a very long time, I am finally feeling better.

You were gone from me before I ever fully confirmed that you existed. I don't know if you left me because you thought it was a lock that I would have made you go away. It would not have been, in spite of everything I did with the Pills and the condoms and the pulling out. It would not have been, once I had a field of blue or a urine-stained plus sign. True, I was never in that frame of mind to meet the awesome responsibilities which you would have required, but then I was never charged with that requirement. I might have been able to do it, but it would have been just the two of us for sure.

I have always imagined you as Dmitri or Natalia, partly based on the love your father and I share for anything Russian Romantic. Tchaikovsky's Romeo and Juliet Fantasy Overture is something we both adored when we were together. I have no doubt that if he were involved, his big love would have crept in -- your middle name for sure would have been Mahler. I would have fought that battle with him, but I would have lost. I can't listen to Symphony No. 10, the one that was unfinished when Mahler died and a scholar put together many years later, without thinking of you. In fact, that symphony largely describes me. I have been in pieces for a long time, and a wise and gifted friend is helping me sort it all out just by listening, by holding me and caring for me as I put it all together. Sometimes something extraordinary can happen in a place you would never imagine -- that's how I found him. The name I imagined for you, Natalia, has been with me since I was barely even able to have a child. When I was about fourteen, a friend and I were talking about children's names. The name I chose was "Natalia de Ciel" with de Ciel being French for "of Heaven". Ironic, that's how you've always been to me.

I know you'd be smack dab in the middle of middle school now, thirteen. In my mind's eye, you'd have your father's beautiful looks: dark brown hair, stick straight and so shiny, eyes so dark brown the edges of the irises are purple, his length of bone, his fair skin with that gets unbelievably dark when kissed by the sun. I know that you would have had the heritage of his prodigious talent, so violin lessons would have been a must to start. Anything else would have been all you. I would have cheered you for tee ball or Kindermusik, gymnastics or karate, science fairs or spelling bees. You would never have come home to an empty house. You would never have wanted for any books or music. You would never have played second fiddle to anyone or anything.

About Daddy. This is very complicated and I don't understand so I don't expect you to understand. He left us, but it wasn't your fault. Since Mommy didn't know for sure, she couldn't tell him. Your leaving me was the first time I was certain, and for him, it would have been another heartbreak. Mommy's love for him wanted to spare him that much. He was never Mommy's to begin with, but somehow in the midst of his awful and lonely life, he and Mommy became close. It was the sweetest thing Mommy has ever known, the day he told her he loved her in the middle of all his mess. She made him forget all his failures and opened his eyes to possibilities. Being loved by him, as wrong as it was, is probably the closest Mommy will ever be to where you are. He was very funny, had a wicked wit, was brilliant about a great many things. He wasn't a dandy with his hands like many violinists, and he was always in the middle of every lively conversation. He was married and many people think that makes Mommy a terrible person, but his wife abandoned him in more ways than one. When push came to shove, he chose the Devil he knew, too afraid to be judged, too afraid to change for the better, too afraid. I won't describe you as an "accident" -- what a terrible thing to say. Never doubt that you were conceived in love even though this situation was less than ideal. Daddy had difficulties being able to make love to Mommy, and one day, we must have gotten in too much of a hurry. One day, you must have gotten by us.

Because I never gave birth to you, held you, nursed you, bathed you, some people would think that Mommy's grief would not be great: they'd be wrong. Mommy was so devastated about Daddy's leaving, and when you left me, too, it was too much to bear. It's not that I forgot you, I just haven't been able to face you till now.

I'm sorry there is no place where you lay, where I can bring you roses, teddy bears, balloons. Clear the weeds around your headstone.

This, my love, is the lullaby I never got to sing to you.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

:} Sometimes the Spirits know better Sweet baby. They know that right now is not the time for ya'll to be having a baby. I'd still keep in mind that idea for the rubber band and clippers for the hubby, tho...lol
I know ya'll are waiting now on the confirmation on his vacectomy, I'm just teasing ya.;)
You just take care of You, and get back on them there birth control thingies as soon as ya can. ;}
My love to you both Honey. :}
Yer Cat

[onewhocares]

Sweet Rissa...

Sometimes things happen for a reason. Nothing can be of consolation of a loss..but the thoughts of having something wrong with a child is perhaps Mother Nature's was of showing you things were not meant to be. Big hugs to you my dear.

Belle

[12voltman59]

Rissa---even though you may not have been planning to have another child---I am sure that you are feeling some degree of sadness that you lost the baby--even if it was rather early in the process.

My mom and dad were married a few years before me and she had one miscarriage before me and in that ten year span between my birth and my sister's--she had something like four of them.

Even though its over fifty years since her first miscarrage and over forty years since the ones she had in that time between my sis and me----she still feels a sense of sadness and loss at those lives that coulda been.

I guess that this child for you was not "meant to be" but I know it still must hurt in some ways----sorry you lost the child.

[Doggiestyle]

Awwwwwww Risa, I'm sorry to hear that. I am glad to hear that you are not taking it so hard, and keeping at least half a smile about it by not letting it get you down. Better luck the next time HUH?

Your friend, :doggie: