A Baby for Christmas

[Justin Chad Taylor]

My wife told me tonight that she wants us to make a baby for christmas. When we got married in October we talked about waiting until she graduates from college in December 2010. However, a lot of our friends either have children or are pregnant and she says she can't wait another year. I told her what about your last year of college and a pregnancy now would be tough to handle with the pressures of studies and school work. I would like to get other opinions about this. So please let me know what you think?:flag4:

[Donkey_burger]

Wait another year. Don't give into peer pressure. A baby is a big deal.

You asked. :2cents:

DB :bipride:

[biguy3113]

As a married guy with 2 young children and both my wife and I in school....

I suggest you wait, you want to be able to enjoy the pregnancy and the new baby without stress!

[**Peg**]

agreed ! you can't imagine the huge changes in your life with a new baby in the house.:2cents:

[Realist]

We had two little kids (wife had 'em when we married) when I was in college and the pressure to work, do homework, eat, and sleep, was taking a back seat to the little ones.

I don't know how I did it. My wife had graduated, but was working at night. I was trying to take up the slack at home, while she was at work. We couldn't afford a baby sitter, either. There was NO day care in 1969!

I'm telling you, the pressure to take care of helpless little ones and study, just does not mix well!

[onewhocares]

For my two cents.....

You are just married. Why don't you take this next year to get to know each other better. This time, until a baby is born is a most special time in my estimation. Never again will you have the freedoms you have until your child is off to college. Finishing school and establishing a career would be my advice to you both.

Funny thing about making babies for a special day. I had planned to "give" my hubby a baby for his thirtieth birthday....started trying with no protection four months before...did not work. After a year of trying came the fertility specialist...then we gave up after all that stress. Five years later, when there was no pressure and such....along came our sweet baby...who just turned fifteen. You can never predict what may or may not happen.

Belle

[notsostr8]

I'm married seven years already, ... no baby yet. We decided not to pursue fertility treatments and instead have become certified as adoptive parents. (Now we hafta place ads a-la that JUNO movie... more about that in a separate post.)

The advice part: make love for the sake of your love for each other and the passion that you celebrate with each coupling. Should you eschew birth control and she becomes pregnant, realize that it's 40 weeks before the child should make its appearance anyway. If you have the type of career that allows you some flexibility, you'll be able to pick up the slack both pre-baby & post. keep things modest & live within your means as babies are expensive (or so I've heard) Question to followup is: "Am I ready to be a Dad?"

Good luck! Happy Holidays!

[rissababynta]

I was pregnant and going to school, and I did it alone while taking care of two toddlers because my husband was away at school for the Army. I gotta tell you...I really didn't think it was all that bad. I guess if it's something you want bad enough, you just make it work.

However, this is TOTALLY something that none of us should be throwing our opinions into because it has 100% nothing to do with us and our opinions. It's about you and your wife. If you think you can do it and be happy, then all of the opinions in the world matters little.

[12voltman59]

Well Rissa---Justin did ask us for our views on this.

We can offer our views---he is free to consider to accept or reject what we do offer.

My advise to Justin and his wife---go very slowly and REALLY think it out before having a baby.

To me--the decision to bring a child into this world is a decison way too important to be based in part on the fact that "all of our friends are having children now."

I would counsel---since Justin's wife is so close to finishing up her education----I'd say to complete that one major life milestone first--- that will hopefully lead to a decent job----then they can seriously think about having a baby.

I do also have to add---you guys just did get married---enjoy being with each other for now--once you have a child--you will always then be a parent---but for now----just enjoy being "young and carefree"--the clock does tick fast in life and you might come to regret in later years that you guys never got to know each other really as individuals--instead of becoming "mom and dad" so quickly in your life together.

I never had kids--made that decison early for myself that kids "weren't in the cards for me"--it cost me the possibility of potentially being with some fine ladies--but to me--that is fine. I am at peace with that decision early on in life.

I can tell ya---of my friends that got out of high school who got married and started having kids before they finished college and got their careers and lives going--FEW IF ANY of them are still married now to their original partner 30 years on. (I graduated from a fundamentalist private Christian school to boot!!)


That is my :2cents:

[rissababynta]

Well Rissa---Justin did ask us for our views on this.

We can offer our views---he is free to consider to accept or reject what we do offer.

:

I know, that was basically my way of saying that we shouldn't even be asked because it is something that none of us should be involved in. It is something that is a private choice and none of our experiences or opinions should really matter in the long run because every situation, life, and experience is different. I would feel horrible if someone said "Yes, a baby is a beautiful thing, go for it" and they are miserable and possibly regretful. Or the other way, everyone says wait wait wait, and more things happen in life that will make a person go "Hmm, maybe we should wait some more" and before you know it, they are unhappy that they waited too long.

See what I mean?

[12voltman59]

I do admit--the one thing I didn't do before posting up my intital response--I didn't check Justin's profile to see their ages----based on the fact that they are in their late 20s and early 30s range--I would not be so adamant they wait.

In this case--I'd just say: "think about how much you want a baby and if now is the right time"---and if they decided to go for it say--"congratulatoins!"

But--if their ages were 19 and 20 instead of 29 and 30--I would stick firmly to what I said in my original post.

There is a HUGE difference between being around 20 or being around age 30---with Justin and his wife being at their age--I might say that maybe if they really do want to have kids--don't wait much longer!

As far as offering the advise---I have no problem in offering it since Justin did ask for it from us--and like I said----he can either consider what we say or tell us that we are full of it and to F off!!:bigrin:

[Doggie_Wood]

One more year to wait for makin a baby would be advisable. Get your careers set, then worry about a family.

Doggie :doggie:

[drwilsontx]

My wife told me tonight that she wants us to make a baby for christmas. When we got married in October we talked about waiting until she graduates from college in December 2010. However, a lot of our friends either have children or are pregnant and she says she can't wait another year. I told her what about your last year of college and a pregnancy now would be tough to handle with the pressures of studies and school work. I would like to get other opinions about this. So please let me know what you think?:flag4:

A " good time to have a baby" How cliche. If you wait for the right time, you'll be too old to enjoy it.