Unsure

[WithinTheShadows]

Hey Everyone. I am lost.

I have had thoughts about guys for sometime now but I keep resisting. I am afraid and I dont know if I want to be bi. But now is the time to decide. I find athletic guys extremely attractive and envy them. So my question is, should i let go of my stress and be myself, if this is what I am or try and change.

Thanks

[biguy3113]

You have to be true to yourself and be who you are, it is the only way to true happiness. Myself I denied my bisexuality for 10+ years and this year I admitted it and started to come out and I couldn't be happier and neither could my wife!

Just my :2cents:
:bipride:

[Lisa (va)]

Hey Everyone. I am lost.

I am afraid and I dont know if I want to be bi.

Thanks

Everyone can be scared.

As far as wanting to be bi, your are, or you aren't, whether you want to be or not. Sa basically you have to decide if you are able to act upon these feelings or not: don't force it, l;et it go naturally, there is no rush.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[Realist]

If you ask a hundred people, you may get a hundred answers. I'm afraid no one can see the way you do with your own eyes. Some will tell you what you SHOULD do. Some will say nothing. I, too, cannot give you advice, because you are the only one who truly knows your own heart.

If you convinced me to tell you anything, I'd say to follow your heart and desires, while being careful, safe, considerate and honest.

Personally, I have chosen not to come out to everyone, but the ones I trust and have a need to know.

[Donkey_burger]

You can't "choose" to be bi. It traces back to your genes, and early childhood environment (like, before seven or so, but the specific age is questionable). In other words, no matter how hard you'll try or want, you can't choose your sexuality! How you deal with it is another thing entirely.

DB :bipride:

[WithinTheShadows]

Thank you guys. I am just so confused and am scared on what the future holds. I do want a wife and kids someday, but im afraid of losing that dream. But I have been told in the past, to look deep within your heart to see the true passion and desires that lie there. Since my heart is shrouded in darkness, I now can have the courage to find the light and hopefully live in peace with whatever I decide.

[jem_is_bi]

I have been bisexual all my life. But, except for a very early childhood experience I did not have sex with other men. Until recently, I was not really very uncomfortable with that because most all is my life was and is good. But, as I approached 60 yrs of age, it did start to bother me greatly. I started to have nightmares that I was about to die without having experienced male-male sex. Now, I have inner peace back in my life.
So, my advice, do what you need to do such that you are happy, respect yourself and have no major regrets.

[notsostr8]

Hey bud,... it's okay.. I was in your shoes awhile back.

I knew before high school that I wasn't 100% straight... and lived in denial, ashamed of my feelings & fantasies for years. While I was attracted to women and had a number of heterosexual relationships in my twenties, it wasn't until I was 28 that I began to deliberately seek out my first homosexual relationship. Prior to that I had to come to terms with myself, that this was how I was wired, that this was something special, not something to be ashamed of. My ability to see beauty and share pleasure with members of either sex was (is) a gift. I had relationships with men over a three year period...then I met the woman whom would become my wife. We actually became friends because of our bisexuality. (she'd once been in a relationship with another woman) It is because I was able to be open with her and honest from the start of our friendship that we became lovers, and quickly thereafter, wed. Embrace this gift. Be true to yourself, and protect yourself. Enjoy the journey... Hope this helps! :bipride:

[mikey3000]

Dude,I am a married bi guy and a dad, and also in a relationship with a gay couple. I am new to this too, but my wife is becomming cooler and cooler with it every day, and has met my guys and really likes them, and them her. It can work. Trust me!!!

[WithinTheShadows]

Thanks guys. I understand, but how do I go about telling my family and friends if I decided to go through with my feelings?

[biguy3113]

Well honestly, you don;t have to tell them if you don't want to or feel they can't handle it, or whatever. This is you being true to yourself and then going from there. Yes I have admitted to myself and my wife and select friends that I am bi and love men! I have not told my parents or anyone else in my family, although they have always joked that I was a pretty boy and swung differently, lol. You need to go slow and be comfortable with you first and go from there. Sure I would love to think that I am able to come out and be happy but let's all be honest, people don;t understand and they judge.

Go slow and take it one step at a time.

My :2cents:

[citystyleguy]

i'm with those who feel that everyone doesnt need to know; the ones who do are those that you have a relationship with, wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. DONT LIE! otherwise, tell those that you can trust and can otherwise give good advice. or not, while you are checking out what being bi truly means.

being bi isnt a lifestyle, its what you are; if you are not sure what that means, talk to those who are, this being a very good site for clear and honest discussions. dont know where you live, but there are always groups, organizations, etc. that you can join with others that share your fears, and want to be with those that can help!

best short term suggestions, keep talking to others here, until you're comfortable in your own skin, then get out and explore!

[coyotedude]

Just take one step at a time. The very first thing to focus on is coming to grips with your own sexual identity. That in itself will take time. But everything else (choice of partners, choice of coming out) comes later, after you have begun to discover who you are and decide that you're comfortable with that.

Bi the way (ha ha), I am bi and married to a wonderful woman who accepts my bisexuality - and we have two adorable children, too.

Just my :2cents: - take what you like and leave the rest...

Peace

[Apleasureseeker]

I think you are who you want to be. For me, your sexual orientation is based on who you can relate to emotionally. I think its natural for people to occasionally be attracted to the same sex (or opposite, if they're gay). Straight people in places where there are none of the opposite sex (military, prisons, etc) frequently have gay relationships, and lots of straight people have early sexual expereinces with other kids of the same sex. Don't mean nuthin.
Before you come out to far, have some adventures and see it it's really worth the investment.

[Realist]

That's excellent advice PS!

When I was in my teens, I had a sexual relationship with a boy who was deeply into M/M sex. He was exceptionally adept at it, too. However, after a 2 year, intense experience, he entered into a heterosexual relationship and never returned to his bisexual past.

[WithinTheShadows]

Thats all great advice. I myself, have had silly sexual stuff happen about 3 years ago. But now that Im older, I see things more clearly. I havent had a relationship for awhile. I would want to experiment with it, but im afraid. And I must say u guys are very helpful and supportive. :)