Feeling Bi Sexual

[CityLad1981]

Hi Even though i have a girlfriend i really can't stop thinking about guys. It stops for a time and i think i am ok but then it returns again. I think about or erotic stuff i like to do with a guy. I have been given blow jobs before by a guy and really enjoyed it. I fancy women just as much though and do not feel these feelings at all when im with my lady.

I just feel guilty and can not control my feelings.

I do not know what to do?

[Long Duck Dong]

guilty for having feelings ???

is there anything wrong with feeling or desiring something as long as you are not betraying a partner by acting on them ???


its human to have fantasies and desires... its how we define who we are as people.......

you are no more guilty of wrong doing than if you do not cry during a soppy movie... its part of who you are as a person

its possible and it sounds like you are loyal to your partner and with them, you are complete but on your own, your attention is free to wander and you think about other experiences that you have had and how they felt and could feel again....

[Michele Mayelle]

Hi Even though i have a girlfriend i really can't stop thinking about guys. It stops for a time and i think i am ok but then it returns again. I think about or erotic stuff i like to do with a guy. I have been given blow jobs before by a guy and really enjoyed it. I fancy women just as much though and do not feel these feelings at all when im with my lady.

I just feel guilty and can not control my feelings.

I do not know what to do?

I think most of us have had this same feeling, I know I had. Many times I would have the same very erotic dream where all of my sexual fantasies would be played out with one or sometimes two men. On more than one occasion it made me so horny I awoke while having a wet dream, but in the cold light of day these thoughts never even crossed my mind only in my dreams & I never thought I would ever go through with it untill one day while on holiday so many things came together at the same time & it felt so right. The full story is on my profile. I too fancy women as much as some men & dont think of men when with my lady, the same as you. All I can say is, why go through life never knowing & always wondering what it would be like to try another man, try it & see, you could be missing out on something you may well enjoy.
IF IT FEELS GOOD TO YOU & HURTS NO ONE JUST DO IT

[Realist]

If my dreams and desires were for a particular sort of person and specific kind of relationship, I would look for one who fit that category, to see if I could explore with them.

I feel that I'd have to find one who matched my interest and not just anyone who will have sex with me.

Most of us have a niche with certain things that attract, stimulate, and draw our focus; I believe we should remain true to them....at least in the beginning.

We could explore other options, after the initial dream is attained.

If my first encounter was not with one(s) who shared mutual interests, and desires, how would I know if my dream was realized, or not?

[rissababynta]

I'm wondering if guilty isn't the choice of word you were going for. Perhaps...ashamed?

There is no point in feeling guilt for having a feeling or a desire, like others have said. Those are things that we, as people, simply can not help and therefore should not be faulted for (even when the critizism is coming from ourselves, our own worst critics afterall).

Does your girlfriend know about this? Maybe if she knew, you wouldn't feel as bad. Otherwise, just roll with it. As long as you decide not to go exploring your feelings behind her back, I see nothing wrong with any of this.

[mikey3000]

Dude, don't feel guilty. And don't resist. It will drive you mad. I know.

"Let it go, give up, give in, surrender." And you will feel sooooooooo much better. It doesn't mean you love your girlfriend any less.

[onewhocares]

I do not think you should feel guilty nor ashamed of the feelings and thoughts that you have. They are a part of the person you are and should not have any bearing on what someone thinks of you. Is it always easy to try and understand yourself, no...but communications with a partner is key.

Belle

[tenni]

I agree that citylad should not feel ashamed because he is bisexual.

However, what may we tell him to help him accept his bisexuality?

I think that citylad needs to gain confidence and acceptance of his sexuality before sharing it with others. Others may pressure him to see it as "wrong".

[Eddie altamonte]

I agree that citylad should not feel ashamed because he is bisexual.

However, what may we tell him to help him accept his bisexuality?

I think that citylad needs to gain confidence and acceptance of his sexuality before sharing it with others. Others may pressure him to see it as "wrong".

There isnt anything We can say to help Citilad accept his sexuality it is a long process that all of us has struggled with in one way or another It is something we all understand. We are here for you Citilad but I wish there was a magic formula to all this To this moment sometimes I look at myself and wish I coulld be different, then I say to myself...Why? I am no different than any one else I just am not as discriminative sexually

[djones]

The only guilt is if you betray a partner - with the same sex or opposite sex.

Having desires and feelings for same sex scenarios is not shameful. Having same sex partners is not shameful.

If you don't act on desires and fantasies out of loyalty to a partner, it is not shameful to still have them. If you find that within your relationship you are able to openly explore your Bi desires - do it if it feels right !

There are many of us in the same boat - or have been at one time or another. You are perfectly normal !

Keep us posted as to how things go !

[Justin Chad Taylor]

:bipride:I agree with a lot of people that you should not feel ashamed on who are. I am happily married to a wonderful woman and we have a wonderful relationship. I was very honest with her and told her that I am bisexual and get turned on by guys;however,I love my wife so much that I will remain faithful to her but that attraction to men will always be there for me because that is who I am and what I am and will never be ashamed of that!!:bipride::bipride: So be happy with your girlfriend and know that it is okay to have feelings and be attractted to men because being "BI" is who we are:bipride::bipride: Take care and be Happy!


Chad

[Donkey_burger]

Well, there are thoughts, and there are actions.

Thoughts are just that, thoughts. Neurons snapping. Chemical reactions. Sensory perceptions, whether they be typical, atypical, or just made up by a very cruel brain.

Actions (or lack thereof), on the other hand, always have real life consequences, positive or no. They are the expressions of thought, and expressions can have the ripple effect that may transpire the whole world.

So you have fantasies about guys. You think you are bi. You can tell your wife, or not. You can tell other people, or not. You can act out on them, or not. You can go on forums like this one, or not. It's really all up to you.

DB :flag3: